“Kev?” Bron whispered.
“Hmm,” he hummed.
“You just walked past the bed,” she
looked up at his face wondering what he was thinking
and doing. The expression he was wearing full of
intent, tension, and purposefulness.
“I know, I want to take a shower
first,” Kevin felt her entire body tense in his arms
as he walked to the bathroom. I’m sorry baby but
you have to open up to me. I hope Mary’s right he
said in his head.
“I asked,” she shot out, as she started
to struggle out of his arms.
Kevin looked down at her and smiled,
“Relax you’ll get what you want.” Bron’s body relaxed
slightly against his.
“When I’m ready,” he answered her
as he set her down in the bathroom. Kevin held on
to her arm as he reached in and turned the water on
in the shower. Relax Kevin you can do this.
Kevin grinned at her, “I want to
wash your back.”
Bron narrowed her eyes and looked
at him, “I don’t want you to!” she yelled at him in
a rage. He doesn’t know what he’s doing; he doesn’t
understand, she cried inside.
Kevin gazed at her, her voice said
she was angry, but her eyes told a different story.
He saw pure fear, pure unadulterated fear. As he
held on to her arm with a steely grip, he shimmed
out of his boxers. Kevin watched her struggle inside
she was so scared. “Well you’re gonna,” he spoke
in an authoritative voice.
Bron screamed, “No I’m not!” She
started pulling away from him with everything she
had. My God, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t understand,
if he did he wouldn’t do this.
Kevin pulled her roughly to him;
he picked her up and stepped into the shower. God,
I’m sorry Bron but you can’t keep this inside forever
he thought to himself. We’re going to break this
down and handle it piece by fucking piece.
Bron felt the hot water pound against
her skin. It felt like molten steel knives cutting
into her. She couldn’t stand it. “Let me out,” she
cried to him.
Kevin turned her around so her back
was to him and the spray was missing her face. Reaching
back, he adjusted the showerhead so that it wasn’t
hitting either one of them directly. He wrapped his
arms around her and pulled her back against him.
The fear rose to new heights for Bron and she started
to struggle with him. The more she struggled the
tighter he held her to him. “Do you feel me Bron?
How much I want you? How much I need you?” he said
as he started to kiss her shoulders gently.
She didn’t answer him, her body started
to shake and she squeezed her eyes closed. Kevin
knew it wasn’t from desire, he had heard that nightmare
in his head so many times since that night. He gently
pulled her closer to him and held her there. “Bron
do you want me?” he asked, as he reached around and
gently massaged her breast. “Do you want me to stop?”
he asked tenderly.
Bron was screaming in her head no
I don’t want you to stop but I want him to stop.
I want the nightmares to stop.
Kevin gazed at her as her shoulders
started to rack and he heard the small cry, but she
still didn’t answer him. Kevin pressed closer to
her and bent to her ear. “Bron do you want me to
stop?” he repeated as his hand dropped to her center
and he began to stroke her. God Bron please tell
me to stop, tell me to do something he screamed in
head. If I have to push you Bron I will, not matter
what takes you are going to deal with this god-awful
violation. “Bron the last man that stood where I
am right now didn’t give you an option. I am. Do
you want me to stop?” he said rather loudly to her.
Oh god, he knows! She said to herself
as she turned to him alarmed and stared.
Gently he cupped her face in his
hands. “Yes I know.”
Bron’s eyes were questioning him
how, without speaking a word. She could speak to
him without even using her voice, just with her eyes.
“You had a nightmare, as much as I hated hearing it,
I listened.” Kevin said to her.
Bron started to speak to him and
he quickly placed a finger over her mouth. “I want
you, I love you, but we have to deal with this. You
can’t keep hiding from it. You won’t talk to anyone.
So let’s us deal with it together. I’ll help you.”
Kevin smiled at her warmly. He loved this woman and
he was going to help her anyway he could, but she
would have to want the help first.
Bron gazed at him, it’s okay, he
knows and he still wants me. Bron smiled at him nervously,
still unsure, “No I don’t want you to stop.”
“Oh darlin’,” he groaned as he pushed
her to the side wall of the shower.
“I thought you wanted to wash my
back,” she whispered to him. Bron felt like the entire
world had been lifted off her shoulders.
Kevin grinned wickedly at her, “Oh
I will,” as he grabbed the soap. “And then I will
wash your front, your top, and your bottom.” As slippery
soapy fingers traveled all over her body. He didn’t
miss a spot or crevice on her.
Her senses were spiraling as well
as her body. He had tightened the bond between them
even more. The bar of their relationship had been
raised to a higher level. “Kevin you have to stop
I can’t stand anymore.” She whispered, as she lowered
her head. His eyes locked on her waiting for her
continue, waiting for the truth. She raised her eyes
to his and knew it was safe to tell him. “I’m not
ready to make love in the shower, not yet please.”
Kevin reached over and turned the
water off without saying a word.
Bron stepped out of the shower and
grabbed a towel. She handed him his as he came behind
“Here allow me,” as he took both
“Kevin give that back,” Bron whined
“No, I want to. It’s part of what
makes it a good experience,” as he kneeled down and
started to dry her feet.
Bron huffed, “That was not a good
“I know, but we need to get past
this so ….,” Kevin paused in mid sentence as he was
working his way up to her knees.
Bron looked down at the top of his
head. “So what?”
“So there can be an us, my present,”
he chuckled. Kevin felt a stinging sensation on his
shoulder. “That wasn’t very nice,” he chided her.
“Neither was what you said,” she
replied to him.
As he dried the inside of her thighs
and her hips. Kevin came up and off his knees and
slowly dried her chest and back with neither of them
saying a word to each other.
“My turn,” Bron groaned.
“No, I have a better idea,” he said
Bron looked at him with as much control
as she could muster. “I hope it was better than your
“Bron stop it,” Kevin told her.
Her emotions were running through her faster than
she could deal with them and he understood that.
Bron looked at him, not sure what
to say. “I’m sorry, it hurts.”
Kevin got angry at first and then
realized that she was dealing with this the best way
she knew how. Kevin knew she needed something familiar
right now, she felt exposed to him, she was afraid
he would judge her for it. She had opened herself
up to him finally.
“Bron do you remember Chapter Sixteen?”
he said as he placed his lips on hers and looked in
Bron felt a shiver run up and down
her spine, “Oh yes.”
Kevin grinned at her, “Oh good,”
as he led her to the bed.
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