Chapter 59

Jake watched everyone exit the bus and knew Bron wasn’t going to budge.  Walking back to the bunk, he whipped the curtain open and started chewing Bron out.  “I’m not going to stand for this again.  I don’t know if you’re upset over this being dragged out in the open and seeing him again or if you are angry at what they did.”  Bron lay there wanting to scream, it’s not anybody’s fault but mine.  I made the mistake, I didn’t lock the door, she cried to herself silently.  I just want to go home, to my house, to my bed, by myself.  Why won’t he let me go home?  She didn’t hear a word Jake had said to her; she was lost in her own thoughts. 

She felt herself being pulled out of the bunk.  I don’t want to fight, no more fighting she said to herself.  Jake walked a mindless Bron up to the suite.  It took a second before Bron even become conscious that she wasn’t on the bus.

The boys were getting fed up watching Kevin prowl the suite.  He wanted Bron with him, but he couldn’t bring himself to force her anymore.  Not after what he had done to her.  Kevin glanced at the door to see her standing there.  She still had that awful blank look on her face it was eerie to him.  She was there physically but not mentally.

Bron looked across the room to see the boys.  They were all staring at her.  One by one they all dropped their heads.  Oh no, they heard me.  Look how ashamed of me they are.  Bron dropped her head as tears slid down her face.  Immediately she turned, walked into the bedroom, and lay down on the bed.

Hours drifted by and thoughts and memories drifted through her head.  What her life was like before everyone was ashamed of her.  It was her fault and she knew it.  She wouldn’t be surprised if Mc would arrive in the morning to take her home. 

Kevin came in stripped his clothes off and crawled into bed.  Bron rolled away from him into a ball.  Kevin sighed and moved on his side with his back to her and closed his eyes.  Dammit, I fucked up, he thought; if I had only known about this.  I’ve pushed to hard and too fast.  Dad if you’re listening please help me fix this.  How am I going to get her on plane when she is like this?  I have to think of something.

Bron waited for him to fall asleep and got up.  She went and sat in a chair and stared out the window, lost in her thoughts and pain.  I’m hurting them and it can only get worse.  I have to leave here.  I need my Bounce.  I need to go home.  Time went by without notice to her.  She didn’t hear the knock on the suite door just the pass card being slid through the lock.

Jake was suddenly before her.  It must be morning, she mused.  She walked to the kitchen to find a coffee pot, but there wasn’t one.  Not finding one she went and sat back down.  Jake entered the bedroom and shut the door.  A few minutes later Jake came out and left.

Kevin came out and walked over to her.  He bent down and looked at her.  Her face was still blank, her soul was gone or lost or something.  What did I do to her, he cried in his head.  “Did you stay up all night again?” he asked, trying to get a response.  But there wasn’t one.

The door opened again and Jake walked over and set two cups down.  Bron picked one up, removed the lid, and sipped it.  She heard Kevin talk to Jake and then leave. 

Jake came to her, “Bron talk to me?” he asked her.  “Stop ripping yourself apart.  It wasn’t your fault.”  Bron looked at him, got up, and left.  She went directly to the bedroom and lay down again.  I want to go home, this is all my fault, she said to herself as the tears slid down her temples into her hair.

Eventually Kevin came back and showered to get ready for the show.  Jake ended up playing doorman since everyone wanted to check on Bron.  “She’s not going to go, don’t even try,” Jake warned them.

After the show, Kevin went upstairs to make some calls.  He called Mc and Stevie.  “I’m going to bed,” he said to Jake. 

Jake nodded at him from the couch. 

“I’m staying,” he declared.  “Thanks Jake,” Kevin answered him.

Kevin went into the bedroom and saw her lying on her side wide-awake.  He removed his clothes and edged his way next to her in bed.  “I’m sorry darlin’,” he whispered to her.  Bron brushed his hands away as he tried to grab on to her. 

Kevin couldn’t figure out what made him feel worse, her refusing his touch or her current state of mind.  What have I done to her?  Did I destroy her?  He thought.

The next day was almost the same as the day before.  The only thing different was that Kevin’s mood was much worse and they had a plane to catch to Grand Forks.

Bron scarcely remembered getting on the plane for Grand Forks.  She followed Kevin blindly everywhere.  She was barely functioning by the time they hit Denver.  After the Grand Forks concert, she vaguely recalled Kevin telling her he had to leave her for a little bit but he would be back.  He kissed her cheek and told her I love you.

Time rolled by and Bron was sitting in the dressing room for the Denver show.  She heard the guys pitch a fit because Kevin was stuck on a tarmac in L.A. and couldn’t get into Denver.  A tear slid down her face as she realized that Kevin has left me.  He’s gone and he’s not coming back.

Nick saw the tear slide down her face and stormed out of the dressing room.  “Kevin is such an asshole!” he shouted out loud.  Mary chased after him, finally catching him in the game room that was set up for the boys.

“Nick honey it’s okay,” Mary said as she walked up next to him, while he was playing pinball.  Nick stopped his game.  “No it’s not.  He does this shit to her and takes off for a freakin’ photo shoot.”  Nick never raised his eyes from the machine.

“Nick, Kevin had to go you know that.  He didn’t want to get stuck at the airport.”  Mary gently responded to the very angry young man.

“I don’t care, he’s wrong.  He is hurting her and the fans,” Nick ground out as he continued to play the game.

Mary grabbed both of Nick’s hands off of the game.  “Nick, Kevin has called Jake so many times Jake is ready to kill him.  He loves Bron and he doesn’t want to hurt her.”

Finally picking his head up he looked at Mary.  “You’re to blame too.  She is destroying herself because of what you guys did.  What the hell were you thinking?”

Mary was shocked at the intense anger in his voice and those baby blue eyes.  “Nick it will work out.  We are flying to Vancouver.  Kevin will be there for her.  I guarantee you that he will not leave her again until Bron either snaps out of this or he gets her some help.”

Nick jerked his hands from Mary’s.  “Really Mare, when, before or after she kills herself.”  A chorus of Happy Birthday interrupted their conversation.  “Shit,” Nick exclaimed as he ran back to the dressing room.  Mary walked back slowly to the dressing room.  Poor Brian, some birthday kid, she said to herself.

The guys did the concert anyway.  They explained that Kevin was stuck on the runway and couldn’t get into Denver.  They even offered refund but no one took the offer.  Jake took Bron back to the hotel while everyone else went out bowling.  The boys and their entourage needed to decompress and unload some stress.

In the morning Bron silently walked on the plane for the flight to Vancouver.  Jake watched her all night.  He figured being in a hotel room alone she might have slept but she didn’t.  Something was stopping her.  At this rate she would be hospitalized soon and that was the last thing that she needed.  Kevin would go insane if that even happened.  Jake knew that Kevin wouldn’t leave her if that was the case, touring or not. 

Jake watched Nick take a seat next to Bron.  He did every thing to coax a conversation from her.  But Nick looked at her as he finally gave up.  She isn’t even on the same planet as the rest of us right now.  So help me God I wish I never sent him that freakin’ story.

The flight landed in Vancouver and she was shuffled yet to another fancy hotel.  Bron sat for what seemed like a short while and the suite door flew open.  Two bags were dropped at the door.  Immediately walking to her, he sat down next to her on the couch, grabbing her hand he squeezed it and spoke.  “I’m sorry Bron, this is the last thing I wanted to happen.”

Bron stood up, ambled to the bedroom, and lay on the bed.  She didn’t acknowledge him.  Her mind was whirling.  What was he doing back?  I thought he left me?  I want to go home. 

Kevin followed her and stopped at the door.  He shook his head and left.  Kevin walked down to A.J. and Mary’s room.  The fellas spotted him walking down the hall and fell in behind him.  Kevin was pounding his boots into the plush carpeting.  Nick followed because he had had enough and Brian and Howie because they knew Kevin needed them.  Kevin turned swiftly and glared at them.  He was greeted with one serious glare back and two smiles.

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