I Feel Good – I Knew That I Would Now…
~GCS~
I had to shake myself out my tension. To his credit, Kevin didn’t push but I could tell his patience was rapidly shrinking. He was giving me space that neither of us really wanted. It would have been a lot easier if Apollonia hadn’t remained so jumpy. Both Nick and her parents had remarked that she seemed unusually subdued and reluctant to go gathering unless one of the men went along. They chalked her reticence up to hormones and homesickness because they couldn’t come up with another explanation.
Yesterday,
“And how is Brad?”
“Getting worse, I think,”
Kevin’s eyes narrowed. “Has he hurt anybody?”
“He’s hurt Linda.” Again, he glanced my way. I wished he would stop. Then he added, “In various ways.”
“Tell her come back here,” Kevin frowned.
“I’ve told her. I begged her to leave after the last time. She won’t. I think she’s snapped a little, too. She talks to herself now.”
What could we say? Still, I tried. I almost wish I hadn’t.
“How long has this been going on?” I asked, remembering how she looked at me when Apollonia and I fled from Brad.
“’Bout a week…”
Brad’s attack on us had taken place eight days ago.
“Maybe you should ask
“He won’t leave Brad,” I replied casually as I folded a blanket.
“He might if you asked him to….”
I stiffened a little at his emphasis on ‘you’.
“Me? Why would it make any difference
if I asked him?” Ooops. I was taking the
Kevin rolled his eyes and pushed out an exaggerated sigh. “Oh yeah,” he nodded with false enthusiasm. “That
Whoa.
I knew then that I would probably laugh about all of this one day. It was all so utterly ridiculous but I was tired of trying to get inside of Kevin’s head and analyze his motives. Right now, I was not amused…
“I’m afraid I wouldn’t know,” I answered coldly.
Oops again. I shouldn’t have used the word ‘afraid’. He was on it like a vulture on roadkill. I found myself recalling the benefits of being mute.
“Afraid?” He turned sarcastic. “Aww, baby…. Don’t be ‘afraid’. I’m sure Saint Gary would be happy to let you see the merchandise! Why, I’ll bet he’d even let you play with it….”
“And why would I want to see it?” I countered, deliberately ignoring the ‘play with it’ part. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Gee, I dunno…” Now he was scratching his head and looking at me all wide-eyed, feigning stupidity. What an actor…. “All I know is that Saint Gary shows up and you go runnin’ at him like your draahs are on fire….”
I interrupted. “Draahs? What are ‘draahs’?”
“DRAAHS!” he yelled. “You know – DRAAHS!”
I guess I looked pretty dumbfounded, so he proceeded to demonstrate by jerking the waistband of his shorts down past the top of his black curls and pointing to his nether regions, obviously irritated that I had interrupted his rant. I still didn’t get it.
“Can you spell it?” I asked. This pissed him off even more.
“D-R-A-W-E-R-S!” he screamed. “DRAAHS!”
“Oh. Okay.” No wonder I didn’t get it. He wasn’t wearing any.
“Anywaaaay…. You go runnin’ at him and, next thing I know, you’re wrapped around him like….like…waxed paper around a sandwich!” My, he was full of analogies today. I thought he was reaching with the sandwich one, though…. “I wish you coulda seen his face! He looked like he’d died and gone to heaven!”…that was #3… “Then, while we’re talking and shit, he keeps poppin’ his eyes over at you. I’m surprised he didn’t just whip it out and start hand pumpin’ right there!” The he added, “’Course, he might have been waitin’ for you to do it.”
I swallowed all of my cruel comebacks, like asking him if he wanted
me to give
“Kevin…. Don’t you think you’re exaggerating
all of this just a little? I do not want
to ‘play’ with
“Well, I was just wonderin’.”he shrugged. “’Cause you don’t seem to want to play with mine, either….”
Bingo. I could swear he was pouting now - just a little. God bless his horny little heart… I took a step forward, placing myself in front of him so that our bodies were barely touching. In this position, my eyes met his collar bone and my breasts were at his abdomen. My target rested between the two. I reached up and scraped my nail gently across the tender skin of his left nipple, catching a little at the tightened seed at its center. I heard him draw a quick breath but when I looked up, his eyes were closed and he was still rigid and pouting. He wanted to be placated but wasn’t going to give in to me – or his needs- too easily. Pride, thy name is Kevin…..
Now, part of me wanted to show that I could be stubborn too, but I learned a long time ago to pick my battles and this was not one I particularly wanted to win. I must have hesitated a moment too long because he spoke before I could continue. One word:
“Again…” he murmured.
This time, I bent my face to his chest and ran my tongue from the base of his throat to the darker circle of flesh and bathed its tender surface with my tongue before assaulting it’s center with my teeth. I heard Kevin moan as I nibbled and then felt his hands pressing against the side of my head, holding me in place, cueing me to continue. Again, he issued a one-word command.
“Harder.”
When my teeth began to press into his hardened nub, I began to suck. I can’t tell you what it did to me to feel his hands tighten around my head and hear him groan with the frenzied mixture of pain and pleasure. I was afraid that I might draw blood. Kevin didn’t seem to care. I could feel him trying to push his groin against me, struggling to make some kind of physical contact with my body. He was humping air and wanted more.
“Touch me.”
He gave me some space so that I could push his shorts down, over his hips and then he got specific.
“Balls.”
When I cradled his testicles in the palm of my hand, I thought he might actually collapse. I could feel the breath leave his body as his knees buckled a little. When I began to caress the skin, brushing my thumbs against the hairs that covered his scrotum, I began to hear words of encouragement, whispered through husky grunts of pleasure.
“Good, baby… You got it – you got it baby. Good girl….”
Then I felt a tightening in my hands and Kevin pushed me away, mumbling ‘fuck…’ under his breath. I thought I had done something wrong and I guess my expression showed it. He was pressing his hand against his genitals.
“What’s wrong?” I practically whimpered.
“Nothing,” he sighed. He almost looked like he was in pain. “I felt like I was gonna cum…”
I didn’t understand. “Don’t you want to?”
Despite his frustration, Kevin chuckled. “Not yet…. It’s too soon.”
“Oh…” I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do now. I sat down on the edge of our stuffed palette to await further instruction. “Whew, sure is hot today….”
That was my awkward attempt to fill the oppressive silence. When I finally braved a look in Kevin’s direction, two things were abundantly apparent. One was the movement of his fingers up and down the stretched skin of his erection and the other was the seductive smile that played at the corners of his mouth.
“Why don’t you strip and cool off…”
It was a suggestion not meant to be ignored. I have to admit that I was completely turned on. The combination of seeing Kevin standing over me, buck naked, stroking himself and this role play scenario we had unwittingly become a part of, was intoxicating. I followed his ‘suggestion’ and untied the knot that held up my sarong, letting it drop to the floor at my feet.
“Now, why don’t you just lay down and relax…”
“I’m not sure I can do that….” I mumbled, setting myself onto the sleeping pad.
I watched his lips curl into a tighter smile, sly and a little wicked. “You do seem a little tense, Glynn. Why don’t you just go ahead and get started?”
I thought I must have misunderstood his implication but when I searched his face, I realized I had misunderstood nothing. He wanted me to get myself off and he wanted to watch me do it. It was a challenge – one that I wasn’t sure I was up to.
His eyes darkened when I hesitated and I felt like I was failing some sort of test. I also knew that Kevin couldn’t last too much longer. I could already hear his breath hitch in his throat from time to time and couldn’t bear the thought of him coming to orgasm without me, especially when I needed him so badly. I felt absolutely desperate and this realization scared me. It dawned on me that Kevin was very much aware of this.
“Haven’t you ever done this before?” There was a slight edge in his voice.
“N-not like this….”
“Open your legs.”
I closed my eyes and did as I was told. Then I felt movement at my feet and glanced down between my raised and open knees to find Kevin’s head inches away from my womanhood. He was leaning on his elbows, studying my body. After a moment, he pressed his finger into me. I could feel my vaginal walls contract around it as if they were trying to grab it. The he removed his finger and slid it up between my labia to my clitoris where he pushed back the skin that protected the tiny bud.
Jesus…. I thought I would lose my mind….
I made a furtive grab for his hand but he grabbed mine instead, forcing it to move against my hungry sex. He didn’t offer any more instruction and I didn’t need any. It was almost as if my hand had developed its own will. Soon our moans were mingling in the twilight and just as I was bringing myself to the precipice, Kevin grabbed my hand again.
“Stop.”
I was past stopping. I didn’t want to stop, but that didn’t matter. When I made a move to replace my stilled hand with the other, he grabbed it, too and pinned both of my arms above my head. Before I could protest, he was leaning into me, covering my whimpers with his mouth and then I felt his length slide into me, filling my void with his own heat.
Sublime friction soon lifted us up on a crest of pleasure. His mouth never left mine until his release when he groaned into my throat. Then he collapsed on me with his full weight, never moving until my contractions subsided and the tightening lessened. I could barely feel his body on mine. I almost felt weightless. When he finally rolled off of me, I couldn’t move. I was weak and numb and totally sated.
After several minutes, his breathing normalized and he pulled me close, planting tiny kisses on my forehead and cheek. I knew he was starting to doze but I had to ask a question.
“Have you ever done this with another woman?”
“No,” he mumbled simply, tightening his embrace. “Guess I never cared enough to walk through that door.” I thought he had fallen asleep when, a few minutes later, I heard him murmur, “ Or maybe nobody ever loved me enough to let themselves be that vulnerable…”
Guilt by Omission
~KSR~
I can’t seem to shake the feeling that something’s a little off kilter. Glynn seems fine. She’s affectionate and kind but, like Apollonia, there seems to be some unspoken agreement between the two. I’ve noticed that there is a certain amount of tension between them - not fighting or anything but a kind of avoidance mixed in with a degree of ‘sisterhood’, like they share some kind of secret. It probably has to do with Nick or something. Things seems a little strange between him and Apollonia, too. Maybe she’s confided in Glynn or something.
Hell, it’s probably nothing. I’m seeing phantoms. Nick has complained some but I think he might be worried. I tried to tell him that this is a small camp and very little goes on that we don’t know about. Privacy is practically non-existent. Then I said that maybe she was PMSin’ or something. Maybe not even PMSin’ but plain old Msin’. As I watched, Nick looked towards the sky and silently mouthed the letters. P...M...S...., M....S..... Then the lightbulb came on and he frowned.
“Kevin, I don’t think Apollonia has been ‘MSing’ for all this time....”
He made this declaration with a certain air of authority, trying to put me in my place. He should have known better by now....
“And you would know this because....?”
He became a little tongue-tied.
“Who the hell are you? AJ? Damn, I guess I would know - if you get my drift...”
Oh, I got it alright but I wasn’t finished with ‘Doctor’ Carter.
“Just wonderin’,” I shrugged.
“Well, you don’t have to ‘wonder’. Believe me, I know! Apple hasn’t been on the rag in a long time!”
This information overload disturbed me. “Christ, she’s not pregnant, is she, Nick?”
“Nooooo, Dad!” He was pissed now. “She ain’t pregnant! I guess I know how to be careful!”
“What?” I said, glancing around the compound. “You got a condom tree or somethin’ planted around here that you haven’t told us about? “
“Har-de-har-har....”
“Just wonderin’...”
“I don’t know why you’re ‘wondering’. Kev! Christ, if anybody around here is bein’ careful, it must be you! I ain’t heard so many moans and groans since I had to share the bus with AJ and that nympho stripper....”
Now I was pissed. “What are you doin’ listenin’ to our moans and groans, Carter?”
“Can’t hardly help it, Kev! Even Sam is worried that you’re sick or having nightmares all the damn time! These damn shacks ain’t exactly sound-proof, ‘ya know!”
We both just stood and stared at each other after that. Talk about an awkward silence. I
was pissed but I guess I was a little puffed-up, too ‘cause after
a minuted, Nick rolled his eyes and stormed away, mumbling,
“You don’t have to be so fuckin’ proud,
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day brought answers to questions I didn’t even know I had. The morning started out like any other except that the sky had darkened and the wind had picked up a little. It looked like we might be in for a storm. It seemed that everybody had gone off to get chores done before bad weather made it impossible. Glynn had gone to the fields to check on the garden and pull some weeds, happy that rain might take care of the watering today. Howie and AJ were at the beach, pulling in nets that had been placed in the shallows, while Sam and Brian had gone off to gather some wood and kindling. I had passed Nick and Apollonia on my way back to the shack. They were headed up to the cliffs, supposedly to get some fruit, but I suspected Nick wanted to talk to Apollonia away from the camp. I noticed she had a hard time looking me in the eye.
Apollonia had become increasingly withdrawn which had made Nick increasingly agitated. I knew that Glynn had talked to her but when I tried to ask questions, she would brush me off and mumble something about ‘girl talk’.
I had come back to the hut to try to make a few repairs before the storm set in. I was almost done when I felt the first drops fall and was just finishing plugging a space in the fronds when the wind carried the sound of voices up to the rise where our hut was. The voices were muted but their tone seemed angry. From our location, I could see almost the entire camp and I looked around to see where the voices were coming from. It only took a few seconds to locate them. Nick was pulling Apollonia by her upper arm towards Jamal and Vivian’s shack. He was mad and she was upset.
Technically, it was none of my business but my role in the camp had evolved to the point where troubles generally landed on my doorstep anyway. I had become a mediator of sorts, so I guess I instinctively climbed down the rise and headed for Jamal’s. The rain had started coming down pretty steady by the time I got there.
I hesitated outside the openeing of the shack when I heard Glynn’s name mentioned. What followed was a flurry of screaming, yelling and crying. I couldn’t make sense of it, so I stepped inside and shouted for everyone to shut up. You should have seen their eyes. The yelling stopped in a heartbeat and all eyes turned to me, wide, dark and a little..... afraid?
“What the hell’s going on in here?” I yelled. “I can hear you all over the camp!”
I was met with silence - at first. Then Apollonia started crying into her mother’s embrace.
“We got a problem,” Jamal seethed,
“What?” My eyes shifted from person to person as Apollonia wailed.
“Don’t, Daddy!”
She didn’t want him to tell me. Jamal’s eyes fell to the floor as if he was trying to find words. Nick looked ready to explode. Everyone seemed suddenly nervous and unsure of what to say.
“WHAT?” I screamed again. Unease washed all over me. I knew in my gut that I was somehow involved in this. It was like facing bad news that no one wanted to tell you about. I looked at Nick. He was going to blow.
“It’s that fucker, Brad!”, he yelled at me, waving his arms. I’m going to kill that son-of-a-bitch!”
****************************
~GCS~
I had made it back to our hut before the real downpour started. The rain felt good and , Lord knows, we needed it if only to settle the dust.
It seemed eerie sitting inside, all alone, and hearing nothing but rainfall. I wondered where Kevin was. I could see he had been here but had no clue as to where he must have gone. I spent a few minutes drying my hair with someone’s lost shirt and then stood in the doorway watching for movement. A fair amount of time had passed when I saw Nick go by. He glanced my way but didn’t speak or return my wave. I couldn’t tell for sure but it almost looked like he had tears in his eyes. Must have been the rain. I called after him, asking him if he had seen Kevin but he kept walking. Maybe he didn’t hear me.
I had gathered some macadamia nuts and decided that I’d go ahead and shell them while I waited. It was a treat to be able to eat without working so hard at it, so I thought I’d surprise Kevin with a trouble-free snack. A peal of thunder startled me and I began to worry a little. Where is he? I didn’t like being here without him. Something just wasn’t right.... Suddenly, I felt a chill and pulled a blanket around my shoulders.
I didn’t see him at the door and he didn’t speak to get my attention. I just knew he was there. I jerked my head towards him, mouth open, ready to welcome him home when I froze. He stood silently, framed by the shadows of palm fronds, shirtless. He was soaking wet, black hair plastered to his face and shoulders. He was beyond pissed. He looked as if he could kill. In that split second, I tried to convince myself that I was imagining things - that the storm was just playing with my nerves a little but, when my eyes fell to his hands, I could see that they were shaking. I said nothing as I looked back into his eyes.
Finally, he spoke. His voice, while outwardly calm, carried a vibrating resonance that made my skin crawl.
“I’ve been talking to Apollonia,” he growled.
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