Mixed Blessings
~KSR~
I felt that I had to let the others know that Glynn had heard us around the campfire. I would have to tell them anyway because when I told them about Nick, they would ask how I knew that Nick was there. That’s all I was going tell them. We had said all that needed to be said last night. Glynnis was right. The underlying theme of our collaboration had been ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ and no advice or opinions would be issued unless some asked.
The fact that Nick knew that something was going on really bothered me. He was a grown man and certainly had the right to make his own decisions but this was serious business and Nick tended to act on his emotions more than his brain. I mean, this was an emotional issue for all of us, especially Nick and me, but I feared for his safety. I wanted him to forget what he had seen and heard and tried to talk to him, but he was hard- headed. He also knew me too well and called my bluff.
“Yeah. I heard you...,”
“Nick, I don’t want you to misunderstand...”
“I didn’t misunderstand nothin’, Kev. I know that somebody is going to end up taking care of Brad one way or the other! This affects me too and I ain’t gonna be left out or ignored!”
“Nick! Leave it alone! Don’t be stupid about this! I don’t know that anything will happen but, if it does, I don’t want you involved. That’s it.”
I turned to walk away which, in the past, had ended any rebelliousness on Nick’s part but it wasn’t working this time. I had only taken a few steps when he shouted after me.
“I don’t give a shit about what you want, Kevin! I ain’t no baby and this affects more than just you! Don’t forget that that son-of-a-bitch held a knife to Apollonia’s throat!
I stopped and turn to face him again. “I didn’t say you were a baby. This will be taken care of. I want you to stay out of it.”
He stood for a minute and raked his fingers through his hair, pushing shoulder length strands out of his eyes so that I could see his face. He looked very serious and very upset and in those passing seconds, it struck me that he was a man. I suddenly felt old and a little sad - maybe like a parent who hated to see their child grow up. Then he asked a question that struck a part of me that I had ignored for all these years. His voice was barely audible.
“Damn, Kev. Don’t you ever get tired of being responsible for everybody and everything? Isn’t it ever a burden to you? Is every danger you’re fault? Every threat a personal challenge? Every failure your doing? What the hell are you afraid of man?”
In another time and place, I might have punched that blond sack of shit, but he was right. I was tired.
“I’m afraid that you’ll get hurt, Nicky. It’s that simple.”
He shot me a lopsided grin and pressed his hand over his heart. “Aww man - I love it when you sweet-talk me....”
“Shut the fuck up, Nick.”
I spun around and started to stomp away again when he shouted after me.
“Hey, Dad!”
“WHAT?”
“I love you , too, man!”
~~~~
In the days that followed, it became evident that some knew that something was afoot. According to Nick, Apollonia had asked no questions - she didn’t want to know - although Vivian seemed to have a handle on things and showed no qualms. Leighanne did her share of bitchin’. She could smell a ‘secret’ a mile away and being left in the dark was torture for her. Brian never said a word. People say I’m a control freak but, believe me, Brian can be a little Napoleon, too. I think a small part of him liked knowing at least one thing that she didn’t know. AJ and Howie seemed clueless. They and some others sensed that something was up - or at least that ‘discussions’ had taken place but they didn’t push anything. That was good. Of course, Glynn knew all of it. She was upset and I saw her bite her tongue many times, but she kept any criticism to herself.
Overall, the situation had created a degree of tension among most of the camp members but it also created a solidarity of sorts. As far as I know, no one had seen Brad in the past few days but we were all well aware of his presence. Sometimes, during a still and quite night, his screams and whoops would pierce the darkness and that would put everyone on edge. I felt in my gut that time was growing short.
*****************
~GCS~
Everyday conversations and chatter that used to be commonplace seemed forced now. Life here was never easy but now, our welfare depended not only on food and protection but also on physical safety. Until now, the people who had survived the crash had been lucky. Life was hard and filled with work and chores but a continuity had been established and, so far, there had been no serious injuries or sickness. There had been little time for pettiness but what little disagreements and arguments had broken out were almost a source of entertainment for us, much like small town gossip. Overall, people were pretty tolerant and we had developed a sense of pride due to our minor successes.
Now, our daily life had taken a turn and small joys had been diluted with a sense of foreboding. A certain amount of anxiety permeated the camp as well as our individual lives. I could see it taking it’s toll. Little lines began appearing around Kevin’s eyes. He wasn’t getting enough rest. His only relief came from our brief and intense sexual encounters which were frequent and often angry. He refused to discuss Brad or the situation surrounding him and, after a while, I didn’t try. The entire camp seemed to fall silent on this subject. It was like it had become taboo.
He did admit that he had spoken to Nick but was reluctant to give me any details. When I pressed him, he got short with me and just spit “He feels like he feels! He won’t listen to me.” I could tell that Nick’s possible involvement worried him sick and that, in turn, worried me. My fear was that Kevin might do something rash in order to prevent Nick from taking some kind of action. You know - like if he went ahead and resolved this, Nick wouldn’t be at risk.
Then, late yesterday afternoon, we had a surprise.
After Les had fixed him up a little,
Brad had even taken to tying them up sometimes when he was leaving the camp. His journeys inland had become more frequent lately and had sometimes lasted for an entire day or two. The only way they had managed to escape this time was because Brad hadn’t tied Linda when he left the last time. In his weird way, he trusted her. He was wrong.
The reaction to Gary, Linda and Shirley’s arrival at camp was mixed. On the one hand, people were glad that they had made it safety. On the other hand, they feared Brad’s retaliation. He had weapons and ammunition. He also had another reason to do harm to our settlement.
Chapter 38
Imperfect Solution
~GCS~
Sam and I had spent most of the morning on the beach. While he played in sand and caught the occasional crab, I was busy gathering seaweed that I would later rinse and dry. Not far from shore, AJ and Howie pulled up small nets onto a makeshift raft - a floating platform, really. The casting must have been successful because after a while, I heard a loud whoop and looked up to see AJ doing a ‘happy dance’. Howie began screaming at him and tried to get his balance on the bouncing raft but it was too late. Howie fell off into the water and AJ reached down to try and pull him back up. Howie was sputtering mad, hurling curses that I could hear from fifty yards away, but AJ couldn’t stop laughing. The entire scene had made me laugh, too, and that felt pretty good. I hadn’t heard much laughter lately.
Face markings had disappeared but I could tell that the ‘agreement’
remained in place. I’m sure that
Weapons had been issued to the group and instructions given that
no one should venture past certain points without an ‘escort’. The ‘escort’ would be carrying a loaded rifle. I absolutely hated this. I felt
like I was in prison, even though I knew why this was being done. During the days that followed the initial meeting, all
members of that group had gone off on their own from time to time. They had all been armed when they did.
I hoped that the intent was to capture Brad but I knew that
there was certainly another possibility. Maybe
if
Kevin slept with one eye open. He wasn’t the only one. Others in the group were looking tired and tense. It was odd. They were solemn and always on guard but that there was also a camaraderie that resulted from a common purpose. I wondered, for a moment, if soldiers at war felt this way. Then I realized that, in a sense, they were soldiers, preparing to face an enemy. He was still quiet and often withdrawn which was a little disconcerting to me considering that he had gotten to the point where he would sometimes talk my ass off. It was amazing to me that the rest of the camp said nothing about the changes that had taken place in the last several days. Maybe they just weren’t saying anything to me. I began to fantasize about something I had stopped wishing for a long time ago. I had stopped wishing for it because I thought I needed to be realistic. Now, once again, I prayed for rescue.
I wanted to sleep with Kevin on fine cotton sheets. I wanted to share a meal at a real table. I wanted a cheeseburger. I wanted to take a hot shower using scented soap. I wanted ice. I know that I sound incredibly selfish, but I wanted other things, too. I wanted Kevin to relax. I wanted him to create music. I wanted him to see the family he had spoken of with fondness. I also wanted someone else to deal with Brad.
**************
~KSR~
It was so hard for me to talk to
All of us would disappear from time to time. Sometimes, two or three of us would be away from camp at the same time but we were never together. Brian and Les had both checked out Brad’s camp but there had been no sign of him. Some things were missing though, like weapons, ammunition blankets and rope. I figured he had returned to find Gary, Linda and Shirley gone and decided to abandon the site. He could live in the trees and bush indefinitely.
None of us had actually seen Brad but we would come across evidence that he was out there somewhere. Animal entrails, the remains of a small fire, fruit peelings - all indicated that he was living in the wild and that he was moving around. Glynnis had asked me what I would do if I found him and I could only answer, “It depends...” As much as I despised what Brad had done, I didn’t want to kill the son-of-a-bitch. I hoped he would be restrained somehow and then we’d have to decide what to do. ‘One step at a time’ had become my mantra.
I was also worried about the effect all of this was having on Glynn and me. I was shutting her out. I knew that but I couldn’t seem to help myself. God, I love her so much.... Talking about this to her is hard. She’s already started to blame herself, which is ridiculous. She says, “If only we hadn’t gone to the cliffs...”. I tell her that it was only a matter of time before Brad went too far - that none of this is her fault. She says, “Brad can’t help it if he’s sick.” I say, “We can’t help it, either.” We both know that but it doesn’t seem to make things any better.
I couldn’t sleep last night, so I took my rifle, slipped out of bed and went down to the beach. I think I was hoping for some epiphany - some overlooked, ‘nice’ solution to our problem. No epiphany came. Instead I found myself wondering how in the hell I got to this place. A year ago, I had finished a run on Broadway, for God’s sake! The group was talking again after a horrendous year of arguing, egos and one-upmanship. We were going to try to begin again. We had finally reached a common goal and we had hope.
Two years before that, we were on top of the world. We had money, fame and accolades. Damn, we even needed body guards. Who’s guarding my body now? Hell, I guess Glynnis is. Not everything was perfect then. Leighanne could be a problem but she was really more of an irritation than anything else. Nick had gotten a little full of himself and the group had fallen way down his list of priorities. AJ was in bad shape physically and personally but he had cleaned out his body and his house. It had been a struggle. We were at each other’s throats all the time.
Oh, we smiled for the cameras and called each other ‘brother’ but we rarely even spoke. Brian and I were pissed at Nick. AJ was pissed with me. Nick was pissed with everyone. The only one who seemed sane was Howie. I used to think he was a wimp for avoiding issues or for always trying to find a compromise. Now I realize that he was the smart one. He was the strong one, too. I’m sure he had plenty to say about all the shit that was going on but he bit his tongue. He knew that words could cause permanent damage. It was almost too late before the rest of us caught on.
Then there’s Kristin.... She wouldn’t be an issue if it weren’t for Glynnis. I don’t think she’ll ever be an issue anyway. I have time on my side. In fact, I think I have all the time in the world. We’ll probably all die on this island.
~~~~~~
I never made it back to the hut that night. I was still laying in the sand when I was awakened by screams. A figure was running up the beach in the direction of the camp. I couldn’t tell who it was a first but as they got closer and turned inland, I realized it was Liz. I jerked myself up, grabbed my gun and ran into the camp behind her. She was still screaming.
By the time I caught up with her, most of the others had been startled by her screams and had formed a tight circle around her. She was out of breath and could barely speak.
“I - I w-was looking for shorebird eggs.....” She paused to draw in more air. “And, and...I saw a nest past some rocks.....
I glanced around the circle. No one was missing. Glynn stood opposite me, next to Nick and Apollonia. Liz panted and went on.
“And I went to .... to check it out and...and....”
“What?” Jamal snapped impatiently.
Liz blinked, turned to Jamal and finished. “In the rocks below the cliffs. A body. Brad. He’s dead.
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