Tristan Trilogy- Story 3

CHAPTER 33

Kevin was sitting at his desk in the English basement when Tristan came home. He didn't hear her come in and was just locking a desk drawer when she appeared in the doorway. Her sudden presence startled him and he jumped. He should have locked the door to his office. If she had come home a minute earlier, she would have seen his small collection of pharmaceuticals. He hadn't expected the visit from Jerald, either and when Kevin had heard him call from upstairs, he hadn't taken the time to put away his meager stash. He'd barely had time to wipe off the pocket-sized mirror. The fact that Jerald was in Kentucky had surprised him.

"You all right?" she asked from the shadows. You appear to be relatively undamaged, unlike your brother.."

"I was pissed, Tris. What can I say?" Kevin shrugged his shoulders as if the fight were inconsequential.

Tristan couldn't help but feel a little annoyed at this Neanderthal problem solving technique. She also couldn't help but notice that Kevin looked untouched while Jerald had sustained some fairly heavy-duty hits. Jerald must not have fought very hard.

"Well, I hope this is all over now.” She said quietly. “It is, isn't it Kevin?"

The strain of the pictures and Kevin's jealousy had taken their toll on Tristan. Her blood pressure had been consistently high since Kevin called her from Stockholm following the first spread in 'Reputations'. She hadn’t told him about that. She had thought that being in Kentucky would help her relax, not make things worse.

Kevin looked at her steadily, knowing that they both wished that none of this had ever happened. But it did happen. They had to deal with it and move on. Kevin just couldn't move too far. Not yet…

"I think that Jerald and I managed to clear the air a bit. He knows where I stand and, more importantly, I know where he stands."

"And where is that?"

"You don't have to worry your pretty little self about that, Tris…."

Kevin's condescending tone irritated Tristan. He was treating her like a child.

"Don't you go patronizing me, Kevin!" she shouted. "I'm a part of this, too!"

Kevin jerked himself out of his chair, almost knocking it over, and got in her face.

"And don't you go bustin' my nuts, Tristan!" he hissed. "You're not part of this anymore. I have removed you from the equation!"

Tristan took a step back. Her head was beginning to throb. "And what does that mean, Kevin?"

Kevin turned and picked up a stack of papers from his desk as if he hadn’t heard her. After rifling through the pile, he pulled a specification sheet from the center and handed it to Tristan.

“What do you think of this cradle, baby? If you like it, I’ll start on it tomorrow. I still have wood that I had milled last year for the first one.”

Tristan couldn’t tell if Kevin was ignoring her question or if his short-term memory had left him completely. She hesitated but then repeated her question. Kevin’s eyes darkened and he jerked the plans back out of her hands.

“You can’t let this go, can you Tris?” he growled. “What happened between my brother and me was just that - between him and me! I owe Jerald, but I’m not going to pay him back with my balls…”

“I don’t understand…”

“You don’t have to.” Kevin snarled. “Just accept the fact that he and I have some things to work out and I don’t want them to involve you!”

“Well, if you managed to clear the air a little bit, as you put it, does that mean I’m off restriction? Is there going to be a problem if Jerald and I are alone?”

Kevin’s eyes narrowed and then he turned back to his stack of papers, placing the cradle plans carefully on the top. He was straightening the edges and smoothing out crinkles when he asked his next question.

“You want to be alone with Jerald, Tristan? Do you feel like you’re being punished if you can’t be alone with him?”

"Jesus, Kevin!" Tristan said angrily, pulling at his arm. She tried to turn him back around so she could look into his face. "I can't say anything to you without you making something out of it! When did you become so damn paranoid?"

Kevin glared at her. His eyes were like ice - cold and hard. "Are you just trying to piss me off?" he whispered, barely containing his rage.

Tristan leaned back against the doorframe and closed her eyes for a moment. Her head was killing her. She felt dizzy.

"No, Kevin.." she said softly, shaking her head. "I'm not trying to piss you off." She turned slowly and began to walk up the steps. "I'm going to lie down for awhile….."

She didn't look back and he made no comment.

*****

The plane hadn’t been in the air fifteen minutes and Howie was sound asleep. AJ and Amanda were exchanging CD’s to be listened to through portable players and Brian was playing with Nick’s Gameboy while Leighanne flipped through the pages of Variety. Nick and Holly were sitting directly across the aisle from Brian and Leighanne with Jack and Mason seated directly in front of them.

Nick and Holly were fairly quiet. They both had things on their mind. The same thing, in fact, only they didn’t know that. Holly had not been around the others for that long and hated to appear naïve but the pictures of Kevin and Brian that insinuated a connection to drugs had really disturbed her. She tried to be rational and objective. Everyone she knew had smoked a little dope at one time or another - except maybe for Tristan. Hell, she had smoked herself but that had been a long, long time ago. There was no doubt that the band members and roadies smoked. Holly remembered standing near their bus one time when the doors opened and almost got high from the fumes that had escaped. She had never seen any of the guys toking. She wondered if Tristan had. They had never talked about it.

It had just been very strange to see that picture of Kevin in the magazine and it triggered Holly’s analysis of Kevin’s behavior. Generally, he seemed okay. He was still sullen and temperamental at times but there was now an occasional edge that Holly didn’t remember seeing before. Before when? Holly thought back and her mind seemed to settle on the Jive party. He hadn’t had that much to drink but his advances towards Tristan had almost seem exhibitionistic. Tristan had never mentioned anything about that night in the weeks that passed before they left for Sweden. Holly had asked pointedly about Asa and Kevin’s reactions to him but Tristan had only assured her that everything was fine.

In Sweden, Kevin seemed worse. Nick had told her about problems in the studio and then there was that episode when she and Nick found Kevin passed out in the yard. Nick had worried that Kevin had been with another woman that night but now Holly wondered. He had disappeared in Copenhagen, too. Where was he going? Holly looked over at Nick who seemed to be lost in thought. She would have to tread carefully with him.

“Nick?” Holly nudged his arm causing him to jerk his head up as if she had startled him.

“Yeah, Babe. What is it?”

The magazine lay open on her lap, folded back so that the picture of Kevin dominated the page. She spoke softly.

“Nick, do you think Kevin is all right?”

She felt him tense up right away. Nick glanced at the rag in Holly’s lap and then took on an air of forced nonchalance. Holly knew Nick. He was edging into a defensive mode.

“What do you mean, Hol? Why wouldn’t he be? I’d say he’s got the world by the ass right about now….”

Holly knew she had to choose her words carefully. If she sounded like she was attacking, a wall would go up between her and Nick. She knew how Nick felt about Kevin and considered for a moment that she was being overly dramatic but she couldn’t seem to escape the feeling that there had been times when Kevin’s behavior seemed exaggerated and unexplainable.

“He’s been under a lot of stress, Nick. You know that. It’s just that this…this picture kind of surprised me. I didn’t think that Kevin smoked weed.”

Nick squirmed in his seat. Her comments had agitated him.

“Everybody has smoked a little sometime, Holly. That doesn’t mean we’re ready for rehab! Jesus!”

“Is that as far as it goes, Nick? You don’t think Kevin or any of the other guys would use anything else, do you?”

Nick was having difficulty controlling the irritation in his voice and he spoke a little more loudly than he intended.

“Why would you say something like that? You think Kev is a junkie or something?” His blue eyes darkened as he glared at her. “Has Tris said something to you?”

Holly couldn’t help but notice Brian’s sideways glance and knew that he had overheard at least some of their conversation. She was sinking before she even got started. Her place was still slightly outside of the circle and any hint of disloyalty would set her back light-years. She remembered Tris mentioning what a tight knit group they had grown to be and how their top priority was to watch each other's backs..

“N…no.. Tris didn’t even mention the picture. You know that she would never say anything. I’m…I’m just a little worried that’s all..”

“Well save your worry for something else! Something that makes sense!” Nick threw his head back against his seat and closed his eyes as if he were trying to nap.

“He’s taken off twice and no one knows where he went…”

Nick’s eyes flew open and he raised his head. “God dammit, Holly! Drop this. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re starting to sound like a fucking tabloid!”

With those closing words, Nick pushed his head back against the seat and squeezed his eyes closed, effectively ending the conversation. When Holly’s eyes moved from Nick, she caught Brian staring at her. Their eyes locked briefly and then he returned to the Gameboy. His utter lack of expression or response felt odd to Holly. She almost felt as if she had been marked in some way - as the ‘outsider’ who had questioned the group in general and it’s captain, in particular. Holly sat back in her seat and stared out of the window wondering if she had made a mistake.

Mason had fallen asleep in the seat in front of Holly but Jack was wide-awake. He had heard Holly’s questions. She wasn’t the only one who was bothered by this.

*****

Kevin stayed in his office a little while longer and then weariness overtook him. His body was physically tired but his mind was still racing, trying to file the events of a very long day into their proper order. It had probably been a mistake to do a line. Now he would have to take a Librium to get to sleep.

Jerald had come over ‘to talk’. Even now, Kevin wasn’t sure when his fists had started flying. A small part of him was sorry and ashamed but a larger part felt victorious. He had just gotten himself wired before Jerald had come over. He hadn’t planned on that but damn! - he hadn’t planned on Jerald being there, either. He had stormed out of his mother’s house feeling frustrated and somewhat isolated but a cocaine Band-Aid had fixed that little personal problem. He would be okay now. They were back home in Kentucky and things would normalize. He would be able to put things into perspective. Kevin glanced at the cradle specifications one more time. He would get started on that tomorrow. Workmen and carpenters would be back tomorrow, too. Tristan hadn’t even commented on the additions….

When he went upstairs to their bedroom, he found Tristan lying on her side, facing the window. Her eyes were opened and she was holding her left hand in her right one. Kevin walked around the bed to her side and bent down beside her. She smiled slightly but didn't look at him as he stroked her hair, regretting his earlier outburst.

"What's the matter with your hand, Tris? Did you hurt it?" Kevin asked gently.

"Asleep…" she answered. She paused briefly and then asked, "Do you know where my book is, Kevin? I can't find it. I looked in the drawer and it's gone…"

"What book is that, baby?"

"My blue book.."

"Your address book?"

"Yes. My address book. It's not in the drawer."

When Tristan lifted her eyes, Kevin's heart stopped. Her left pupil looked dilated. The blue book she had spoken of was in their bedside table in Florida where it had been for well over a year. He tried desperately to remain calm as he spoke to her again.

"Your book's in Florida, Tris. Remember, honey?"

Tristan looked confused and didn't speak. Kevin watched as the fingers on her right hand began squeezing the fingers on her left. He slowly separated her hands, holding her left hand in his.

"Squeeze my hand, Tris." he whispered.

Her fingers didn't move.

"I can't, Kevin. I told you - my hand's asleep.." She pulled her fingers from his hand and then repeated her original question. "I can't find my blue book, Kevin. Do you know where it is?" Is was as if she was asking for the first time.

Kevin searched for a reason not to be alarmed but something was terribly wrong. He didn't want his demeanor to upset Tristan and rose slowly to his feet as she refocused on the window, continuing to mumble about the whereabouts of her blue book. Kevin felt nauseated. He needed to call his mother. They needed a doctor over here - now. Kevin tried one more time.

"Tristan, do you know where we are right now?"

"We're in the house, silly.." she giggled.

"Which house, baby?" Kevin swallowed hard, awaiting her response.

Her lilting laugh did nothing to ease his swelling panic.

"The Florida house, sweetie… Your house. "

CHAPTER 34

"Kevin! Slow down! What in the world are you talking about?"

Kevin gulped for air and then closed his eyes and counted to five. His panic was only causing confusion. He had called his mother because he didn't know who else to call. She needed to get a doctor over to the house right away.

"Mom… Listen to me, please. Something's wrong with Tris. I don't know what, but she's not herself. She's….disoriented. Her hand is numb. Her eyes are…funny. Call a doctor, Mom. Please! Tell him to get over here - now!" Kevin's voice started to crack. "Please, Mama. Help me.."

A long forgotten calm settled over Ann Richardson. It was the kind of calm that overcame one person when everyone around them was starting to panic. Kevin was crazy. She was forced to be the reasonable one. She remembered the feeling from years ago and was grateful that the skill hadn't left her.

"All right, baby… Now calm down. I'm going to call Dr. Fisher right away but first let me ask you some questions…."

"Call him now, Mama! Hurry!"

"KEVIN!" Ann had to shout to get his attention. "Is Tris in any pain?"

"No…no, she doesn't seem to be…"

"Is there any bleeding?"

"No, mom! Just what I told you! Call him!"

Ann made the call and then hurried over to Kevin's house with Jerald. Both of them carried the same fear based on what Kevin had said. Stroke. They hadn't been there long before Dr. Fisher arrived, medical bag in hand. Jerald let the doctor into the house. Ann and Kevin were upstairs with Tristan. The older man went up the stairs and to the left into the bedroom. Ann was sitting on the edge of the bed. Kevin was pacing but kept his eyes glued to the figure on the bed - a pregnant woman in her mid twenties - Kevin's wife. She appeared to be sleeping. When the doctor looked back to Kevin, he was waving a sheet of paper in front of his face.

"I found this just a few minutes ago. Did Mom tell you that Tris has eclampsia? Her blood pressure's been up for days! She must have bought a cuff in Sweden and recorded her readings. The doc in Florida told her to write them down so he could have a look at them. Look! See? Her pressure's been up! See?"

Dr. Fisher could actually feel a draft emanating from the paper Kevin was waving around in front of him. If the boy didn't calm himself down, the good doctor might find he had two patients - three if he counted Kevin's older brother. Jerald looked like he could use a little treatment, too. He looked like he'd seen the bad end of a mad mule.

"Okay, Kevin…Calm down now." Dr. Fisher took the paper and studied it carefully. The girl's pressure had certainly risen higher than it should have been. "This is part of the eclampsia your mother told me about." He said as he studied the paper.

"Yes! What's wrong with her? Did Mom tell you what I said?"

Dr. Fisher nodded and made his way over to Tristan with Kevin on his tail - literally. Kevin was hovering and the older man had to tell him to back off.

“Kevin, why don’t you go downstairs for a few minutes while I examine Tristan? Okay?”

“No.” Kevin shook his head adamantly. “I’m staying right here.”

“Very well…” The doctor sighed. “Just move back and give me some room, okay?”

Kevin stepped back to the other side of the room, watching intently as Dr Fisher woke Tristan, introduced himself and spoke to her at length before beginning his examination. Kevin could only hear them murmur back and forth to each other. Dr. Fisher listened to Tristan’s heart and her major arteries through his stethoscope before placing the metal disc on her belly so that he could hear the babies. Kevin saw him smile and nod in his direction not realizing that he had been holding his breath until he felt himself exhale.

The doctor shone a penlight in Tristan's eyes, waving it away quickly and then shining it in her face again. Then Kevin saw him take her hand and manipulate her fingers. He watched Tristan nod or shake her head as she was being asked questions and after several minutes, the doctor stood, picked up an afghan from the foot of the bed and covered her.

"You get some sleep now and I'll see you tomorrow…"

Tristan nodded and Dr. Fisher patted her on the arm, smiling. As he walked towards Kevin, he waved him out of the door, signaling that they would speak out of Tristan's earshot. Anne had left the room when the doctor began his exam and now waited downstairs with Jerald.

"Okay, let's sit down…" he began.

The color drained from Kevin's face. He had heard those words before…. This time, he sat.

Dr. Fisher eyed him carefully. If that boy gets any paler, I'm gonna be able to see right through him. The good doctor had known this family since he came to Lexington twenty- five years ago. Although he was in family practice, he had delivered his fair share of babies and had removed many a splinter from the Richardson's boy's backsides. He had stitched up Kevin's cheek and set Jerald's broken bones. He had been the one to suspect Jerald Sr.'s cancer and had followed him through his entire illness even after referring him to an oncologist. These were highly emotional people and he had to be careful with his explanation of Tristan's diagnosis. Kevin was the first to blurt out his fear.

"She's had a stroke, hasn't she?"

His expression was begging the doctor to refute him. Unfortunately, Dr. Fisher couldn't do that, entirely.

"Technically - yes.."

Kevin's head fell back on the sofa and tears started to fall. "Oh, dear God…"

"Now listen to me, Kevin!" the doctor charged. "Listen! I have to explain something to you! This isn't what you're thinking…"

Kevin raised his head, making no attempt to wipe his face. The doctor glanced at Jerald, whose mouth was hanging open in shock, and then at Anne, the stoic one of this small group. He began his explanation.

"I feel fairly certain that Tristan had what is known as a TIA. That stands for Transient Ischemic Attack or what we commonly call a mini-stroke." The doctor paused for a moment and waited for recognition or a reaction of some kind. All he got were three pairs of eyes bearing down on him. "I fully expect Tristan to recover from this attack, probably within hours. This TIA seems to have affected her left side. They're not uncommon in people with hypertension and, according to Tristan's records, her BP had been elevated for several days - almost two weeks, in fact."

Kevin immediately began beating himself up. "Christ! I didn't know it was up… I didn't even ask her.."

"Kevin," Dr. Fisher said soothingly, "Does she have medicine?"

"Yes.."

"And she was taking it?"

Kevin had seen the pill bottle but now realized that she couldn't have brought it with her. She came to Sweden on the spur of the moment - with nothing. She must have gotten the medicine when she was there. He nodded feebly.

"Okay. I'm going to call her doctor in Orlando tomorrow. He may want to change her meds. I want you to bring her to Lex Memorial tomorrow and we'll do a CAT scan…"

"What for?" Kevin was beside himself. He didn't know about this TIA stuff. All he'd heard was 'stroke'.

"I'm sure her doctor will just want to make sure there are no clots or anything which may be part of her problem. It's very routine. Ten percent of people who have these TIA's need no rehabilitation whatsoever. We just want to keep an eye open and get her pressure back down for the duration of the pregnancy. If we don't, she could likely have another. This is, in my opinion, just a little warning…"

"Little?!" Kevin hissed. "She doesn't even know where the fuck she is! She's suddenly obsessed about a damn address book!" He jumped up from his seat and his voice rose angrily, not quite covering the fear that lay beneath. "Her hand is not moving. Not moving! She's a pianist, for Chrissakes! And her eyes are screwed up!" Kevin stopped and turned back to the doctor. "And you haven't mentioned the babies… What about them? HUH?!" He was practically screaming now. Hysteria was peeking around the corner.

Jerald tried to interject a consoling word but was quickly silenced by a death look from his younger brother. Anne wisely remained silent. Dr. Fisher grabbed Kevin by his upper arms and shook him as if he were a child.

"Listen to me, Kev! I understand you're upset, but I've seen these cases before. I honestly feel that your wife will be fine. Her pupils have already begun to return to normal. Her hand is weak, but she does have reflexive action there and in her legs, too.."

"My dear God, I hadn't even thought about her legs…" Kevin fell back down onto the sofa.

The doctor continued. "You don't have to think about it. This was a small episode. Her confusion will pass after she gets a little rest. She knows who she is and she knows who you are. She may need to exercise her hand but we'll see about that tomorrow. The CAT scan is just a precaution. We'll get her pressure down and adjust her meds. There is absolutely no reason the think that the babies are not fine!" Dr. Fisher paused and spoke softly now. "Looks like you could use some rest, too, Kevin. Get her to the hospital tomorrow by ten. Take her up to nuclear medicine and we'll evaluate her again and do the scan. I'll make sure a neurologist is there to talk to you and I'll call her doctor in Orlando. Okay?"

Kevin just nodded blankly and then stood and headed for the stairs as his mother let the doctor out. Tristan was still laying on her side so Kevin took a minute to step into the bathroom and splash some cold water in his face. He didn't want Tristan to see that he was upset. He needn't have worried. When Kevin came around to her side of the bed, she was sleeping. He needed to undress her and put her under the covers where he would join her.

They hadn't even unpacked yet. Kevin took a tee shirt out of his bag and brought it over to the bed where he lifted Tristan to a sitting position and let her lean into his chest while he unzipped the back of her shift. The disturbance caused her to mumble a little but she really didn't wake. The dress slid fairly easily down her arms and puddled at her midsection as Kevin unfastened the satin bra and removed it and then held Tristan against him for a minute while he tried to calm himself. The babies moved against him. He was getting upset again.

After a couple of minutes, he turned his head and kissed her temple and then reached for his Wildcats shirt. Tristan's eyes fluttered a little when he pulled the shirt over her head and pushed her arms through the holes but she didn't protest and, in fact, seemed to find comfort in Kevin's attention. He laid her back down on the bed and pulled her dress off of her legs before beginning to undress himself. There was a gentle rap on the door and it was pushed open. Anne stood inside the threshold.

"I thought I'd stay here tonight - if you don't mind." She asked in a pleading tone. "You know, just in case you need anything.."

Kevin tried to ease her worry with a smile but it wouldn't come. "Thanks, Mama…"

Anne nodded and closed the door behind her.

Stripped down to his boxers, Kevin crawled into bed beside Tristan and moved her so that she was lying fully against his body. Kevin craved this closeness but he had an underlying motivation as well. He would be able to feel her movements and if there was any problem he felt he would have a better chance of recognizing it this way. He'd be able to feel the babies in this position, as well. His sleep would be very light tonight.

Kevin had pulled up the covers and gotten himself settled when he felt Tristan nuzzle against him. When he tightened his hold on her, he was surprised to hear her speak.

"I like this Kevin…" she whispered in the dark.

"What baby?…"

"Being here…" she answered.

Kevin felt his throat close. Being here…. Do you even know where you are, Tristan? Are you in Florida or Kentucky? Maybe Virginia? He coughed once, clearing his throat and sought his answer.

"Being where, Tris?"

Tristan sighed and moved her hand up to Kevin's cheek.

"With you…."

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