Tristan Trilogy- Story 3

CHAPTER 37

The rest of September was blissfully dull. Kevin and Tristan knew that this was just a brief interlude. It would soon be promo time and Kevin would spend a lot of time away. He had finished the second cradle and now two pieces of his handiwork rested on their raised hearth. Ann had made tiny mattresses to fit inside the little beds and had begun to fashion baby shawls and booties. She and Tristan made several trips to local needlework stores while Kevin painted their new rooms. He was glad to have them gone. He didn’t want Tristan around paint fumes.

They had decided that when Kevin went to New York at the beginning of October, Tristan would stay in Kentucky. Jerald had left Lexington and gone back to Texas. The entire situation between the brothers had calmed somewhat but there were still remnants of tension here and there. Kevin wasn’t thrilled when he went into his workshop one afternoon and found Tristan showing Jerald the wood that Kevin was using for the second cradle. His unexpected appearance had startled Tristan but Kevin had acted cool and casual despite the annoyance that bubbled below the surface. Tristan was still wary of his reaction and expected a scolding when they were alone again but it never came. Kevin was trying.

This separation would be difficult. They all were but Tristan realized that when Kevin left this time, it was only the beginning of a journey that was expected to last for over a year. The group had decided to do a real world tour this time and would probably be on the road for most of 2001. Tristan couldn’t say that she liked this, especially considering the fact that their children wouldn’t even see their first month before their Daddy left, but she was determined to make things as painless as possible for Kevin. He did have a life outside of his family and it was a life he needed for now. Tristan had seen what happened to relationships when one partner gave up something they truly loved for the happiness of the other. Happiness was rarely the final result. Martyrdom and resentment soon followed. She wanted for them to have as few regrets as possible in their lives.

The group was the center of attention once again but it was a good place for them to be this time around. The public was hungry for Backstreet and ready to forgive their long absence. Their new single had been released and had landed on the charts right out of the gate. They needed a video and they needed it fast. The boys would be in LA in less than a week to shoot and West Coast promos would follow. After that, back to New York, a few days at home and then back to New York again. Kevin would get a longer break after the beginning of November.

The fall chill settled a little earlier in the Kentucky mountains than along the Eastern Seaboard. Kevin lit a fire and they sat together on the sofa, talking about the next few months to come.

"Looks like we'll be heading to LA straight from New York." Kevin announced. He had mentioned this before but he wanted to make sure that Tristan understood. "I probably won't be back until later in the month and then it'll just be for a couple of days or so before I have to go back to New York."

He stared at the fire as he reiterated his schedule but he watched Tristan from the corner of his eye, trying to observe any telltale signs of anger or impatience. There were none that he could discern - only a wistful sigh as she sipped her cocoa.

"It'll be a long month," she smiled warmly. "I'm glad we had September."

"Me too, baby…" Kevin murmured against her hair.

After a while, they fell into a comfortable silence, hypnotized by the crackling flames. Before long, they were both dozing on the sofa, wrapped up in afghans and still facing the fire. They were safe, calm, warm and fuzzy. Some might even say boring but as they leaned against each other and slept, the overriding impression was that of comfort and peace.

*****

"Keep your cell with you…" Kevin instructed as he put his lollipops in his bag.

"I will…"

"Leave it on."

"I will…"

"Damn, I wish I had that camisole…" he complained as he zipped up the pocket.

Tristan smiled. It was the first time he had actually ever said anything out loud about carrying the pink satin with him. It had been one of those recognized but unmentionable quirks. Some might even describe it as a fetish of sorts. Her smile turned into a look of puzzlement as she watched Kevin stop, stare pensively for a moment and then turn and march purposefully to her chest of drawers. He slid open the top drawer and Tristan could see his hands digging through her underwear. Every few seconds he would pull out a pair of panties, hold them up, study them for a moment and throw them back into the drawer. Kevin couldn't seem to find what he was looking for. He stopped again and turned to her, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Where are those dark green panties with the ribbony things on the side?" he asked seriously.

Tristan's eyes widened. "I don't know, Kevin. I guess they're wherever you threw them when you pulled them off of me last night…"

Kevin glanced around the floor and then walked to the bed, stooped down past Tristan's line of vision and came back up with what must have been the 'catch of the day'. He shook the green panties out, nodded, went back to his bag, unzipped it and crammed the panties in the pocket. His expression had never changed. He was focused on the job at hand.

"There.." he said, satisfied as he rezipped the bag.

Tristan almost asked if he needed the matching bra but thought better of it. The panties were a necessary item to Kevin, like a toothbrush or comb. To Tristan, the ritual was much more than just packing for a trip. It was her reassurance that Kevin wanted some personal part of her with him when he couldn't be with her. She thought it was romantic and sexy. If the time ever came when he didn't need these small pieces of her anymore, she would know she had lost him.

Brian had come to Lexington two days ago to spend some time with his family before the whirlwind began. Harold would be taking him to the airport and had agreed to pick Kevin up on the way. Tristan and Kevin would say their good-byes privately, at home.

*****

The week spent in New York would be filled with tapings and tour planning. Their first stop was TRL. Kevin had lost his enthusiasm for MTV. They had provided great exposure in the past and had been more than happy to promote the group but now their ass kissing felt a little two-faced. It seemed to Kevin that they were getting stroked with one hand and slapped with the other. Carson Daly had almost appeared disappointed when thousands of fans had arrived at the studio to welcome the group back. Kevin tried to shake these feelings and remembered Tristan's words when they argued after their return to Kentucky. When did you become so paranoid? He chalked his attitude up to nerves. This was their first public appearance since his marriage had been announced and he had been concerned about the reaction. So much had changed for the group personally and professionally. He needn't have worried. The fan turnout had been record breaking. Backstreet was ready to reclaim its title from the pretenders to the throne.

Five days later, the group was winging its way to California. Kevin had spoken to Tristan at least once a day. She was doing well, her blood pressure was under control. She had been spending her time working on her Mozart repertoire and buying furniture for the addition - but only for the bedrooms, playroom and her office. Media room and nursery furnishings would wait until Kevin was back home.

He never failed to ask where she was when he called. If she happened to be at Ann's he would ask to speak to his mother before he hung up but if Tristan was home alone, he would call his mother after he spoke to his wife. He thought he was being so cool but Tristan knew that one of the reasons he always spoke to his mother after he called her was so he could get a second opinion on how Tristan was really doing.

When he called her the morning of the video shoot, Tristan seemed unusually excited.

"Kevin! Guess what?"

"I don't know, baby. What?"

"I saw red today!"

Okaaaay… "What do you mean, Tris?"

"Fall! The leaves are turning, Kevin! Fall leaves - all colors! God, they're so beautiful!"

Kevin smiled. Of course…. Her favorite season… "I wish I could be there to see them with you, darlin'…." He became worried when he heard her sniffle. "Tris? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Kevin. I just wish you could see how pretty it is, too. That's all. Are they having fall in LA?"

Kevin looked out of his window at nothing but palms and other permanently green vegetation.

"No, not really. This is more like Florida. You know, not many seasonal changes."

"Oh…" She was silent for a few seconds and then began to speak in tones so low that Kevin could barely hear her. "You know, Kevin - I haven't seen autumn for a long time…"

This statement threw Kevin a little. He hadn't been thinking. It had been a long time for Tristan. Two years ago she was in Sweden and Florida. Last year…. Well, last year she hadn't seen much of anything except the interior walls of an institution. Southern South Carolina wasn't the best place to experience a vivid autumn anyway. This was her favorite season and it had been three years since she's seen a leaf turn. Kevin wished he could enjoy the rediscovery with her. She had sounded almost childlike in her initial excitement.

"I guess I might miss some of autumn this year…" Kevin realized.

"I know…"

"Do something for me, Tris. Pick out a bunch of leaves and save them for me. Real pretty ones…" He was pleased to hear her laughter echoing in his ear.

"Okay! The prettiest ones!"

"Of course, Tristan - only the prettiest…"

*****

The video shoot, which should have been quite simple, was proving to be one pain in the ass after another. There must have been fifty workers' strikes going on in Southern California and it seemed like all fifty were affecting the shoot in some way. The bottom line was that the group was placed on standby until some of the problems were resolved. They had no choice - this was the only window of time they had to get the video in the can. A delay of three to four days was expected followed by a two-day shoot. This would effectively eliminate any free time that the group had before they had to be back in New York. Kevin would not see Tristan until he met her in Orlando somewhere around the first of November.

Tristan had been disappointed, to say the least. She was beginning to feel some anxiety about her impending motherhood and was only starting to fully realize that Kevin was not going to be around a whole lot for support. November would be busy, too. The album would be released just before Thanksgiving. December would be filled with last minute tour preparations. Hopefully they would be able to spend a calm and happy Christmas in Kentucky but rehearsals would begin before the year ended. Tristan made a supreme effort to remain cheerful and managed to do a convincing job. She knew what Kevin's life was like and she knew how important the music was to him. She had just thought it would get a little easier.

Kevin liked LA. He liked it a lot. No matter how great a reputation Orlando developed as a show business Mecca, the big guns would always be in LA. The guys were finally finding a little niche in the arrogance of Hollywood. In some circles, the BSB had become 'cool'. Their management team was headquartered there, too and during the first few days they were there, they were inundated with invitations to parties and openings. They met producers, performers, musicians, songwriters and actors. Various possibilities for individual group members slowly began to surface.

Kevin had been asked, point blank, if he had ever considered acting. When he had answered affirmatively, various classes and workshops had been suggested. He was flattered and began to seriously consider the variety of choices that awaited him in California. The group couldn't stay in Orlando forever. They were already exploring options. Sooner or later they would seriously pursue individual interests even though they would always be bound together by music, history and friendship.

Kevin spent one afternoon being shown around town by the assistant director of the video. As they drove through the city, Kevin began to appreciate the variety of textures that LA had to offer. He particularly liked West Hollywood with its Bohemian atmosphere and young residents, most of whom had dreams that had been born from creative hearts. He readily accepted the kindness and interest of artists whom he had admired. Some of them were quite well respected and successful in the music and film industries. They didn't make fun of his accent or the cadence of his speech. They didn't put down pop music or disqualify the BSB as musicians because they used a backup band when they performed. Kevin's head was turned. A big part of him wanted to be a part of this new circle. He wanted a little piece of something that wasn't wrapped up with a Backstreet ribbon.

Tristan flew back to Orlando on October 28 and Kevin would join her in less than a week. She wanted to get the house up and running before he got home and she wanted to spend some time with Holly and Mason. Mason had begun to help Holly out from time to time when she had featured performances, which seemed to be occurring with increasing frequency. She still worked for the symphony on a part-time basis but from time to time played as a guest with other Florida orchestras. Mason knew the ropes and was helping Holly in much the same way he had aided Tristan. It was just as well. Tristan didn't have much need for an assistant these days.

Unfortunately, when Tristan called Holly she discovered that Holly was just too tied up at the moment for much socializing. She had filled her calendar, knowing that Nick would be away. Holly had five performances scheduled in the next two weeks plus rehearsals for a Christmas concert with the Tampa Symphony. Because Holly was so busy, Mason was busy as well. Amanda was in Las Vegas and Leighanne was in Atlanta. It seemed to Tristan that everyone's life was moving except for hers.

She cleaned the house, answered mail, pulled love letters to Kevin from the fence and fertilized her roses. She decided that she would volunteer to host a huge Thanksgiving dinner in Florida this year and set out to prepare invitations and plan an extensive menu. These activities helped her pass the time for two days and then she felt lost again.

On the afternoon of the 30th, sat down at the kitchen table to take a look at the local paper. She flipped to the entertainment section hoping to find a movie that might provide her with some distraction. She was feeling claustrophobic in this empty house. She thought that maybe she could pull off going out to a movie without being harassed or bothered. It was amazing how inconspicuous she had become when she wasn't with Kevin. As she glanced at the ads, a small advertisement caught her eye. The UCF music department was having a guest speaker that night. The speaker was Asa Whitmore.

For a fleeting moment, Tristan considered attending the lecture. She was lonely and Asa was an old friend. She shook her head. That would be a bad idea. Kevin wouldn't understand that at all. Then she thought that maybe she would just give Asa a call. Tristan glanced at her watch. He was probably already in Orlando. She had actually begun to dial the university number when she stopped and hung up the phone. Asa's last private words to her rang in her ears…Call me when you don't love him anymore…

Tristan sighed and picked up the paper once again. There really wasn't a movie she cared about seeing. She turned to the TV listings and there she found her salvation. She discovered her relief in the Orlando Sentinel on the bottom of page five, section B. Tristan stared at the Publix ad and her eyes grew wide. Halloween candy was on sale for $1.99 a bag.

Her mouth hung open as she lowered the paper and stared straight ahead. Halloween…. She hadn't thought about it. Halloween was tomorrow. Tomorrow! Tristan could feel the bubbles of anticipation rising from her heart to her brain. She had never been allowed to participate in Halloween traditions. She had never had a costume or gone from house to house carrying a bag. She had never uttered the words 'Trick or Treat!'. She recognized that she was a little too old for that now but she could still join in. I can dress up and hand out candy! I can get some pumpkins and skeletons and decorate! Tristan became drunk on the possibilities. She couldn't wait to tell Kevin. He had already called her today and wouldn't be able to call again until late tomorrow. She would have to tell him about it after the fact.

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