Tristan Trilogy- Story 3

CHAPTER 67

Mason had gone straight to bed, exhausted from the excitement of the evening. Physically, Tristan was tired too, but her mind kept jumping over recollections of the past few hours.

She had been surprised at the coverage and hadn't expected to see so many cameras. It had been fun to see old friends, especially the ones that she and Mason shared. It felt good to 'belong'. The early dinner had been wonderful and she had been fortunate to know all but one person who had been seated at the same table. Asa had been one of those. He had brought his sister with him - the one person that Tristan didn't know. Although Tristan was sorry that she and Kevin were apart, it was probably just as well under these circumstances. The dining situation would have been uncomfortable enough but when Asa told her that he would be presenting in her category, the coincidence seemed almost comical. When she and her fellow pianists received the Grammy from Asa, it just became too much. He had given her the expected hug and chaste kiss on the cheek as he handed her the trophy.

Parties had been planned for after the award presentations but Tristan had opted to come home early. She wanted to see Kevin on Letterman. She had also expected there would be a message from him. The voicemail barked out a congratulatory message from Holly and one from an old teacher at Julliard. There was nothing from Kevin.

The glint of the golden gramophone caught Tristan's eye and she gazed at it for a moment before picking it up and placing it in the back of the hall closet. Okay... That was nice. Nice dinner, nice friends, nice prize, nice evening.... It was over now. She really didn't care about the awards. Despite her barren childhood, acclamation never meant much to her. Kevin's youth had been full and rich. He could fill a room with the trophies, awards, ribbons, platinum records and recognitions that spanned his thirty plus years. They were important to him - visible proof of his accomplishments and popularity. Tristan would give anything for him to have a Grammy. It would mean so much more to him than it did to her.

She had just enough time to change out of her clothes, check on the kids and brush her teeth before Letterman came on. When she came skipping back to the living room, wearing one of Kevin's tee-shirts, the show was just beginning. Tristan jumped onto the sofa and pulled her knees up to her chest. She was excited. She never tired of seeing the group on television. One hour later, her excitement had turned to a nagging worry as she picked up the remote and forced the broadcast into darkness. He had seen the dress - he had seen Asa - he had disappeared.

Tristan recognized the look on Kevin's face. Others likely mistook his frozen glare for excitement or anxiety on her behalf, but Tristan knew better. The guys had known better, too, judging from their reaction to her appearance on the split screen and Kevin's silence. He was pissed... pissed about Asa and pissed about the way she looked. She knew it. Is that why he had walked out during the taping?

She decided to call him in New York. It wasn't like Kevin to leave mid-show like that and it worried her. There was no answer and so she left a message. It was 3:30 AM East Coast Time Where is he?…. She called every thirty minutes after that, leaving a message each time. Finally at 5:30 AM, New York time, Kevin answered the phone.

"Kevin?...."

"Yeah, Tris.... hi..."

"Didn't you get my messages? Where have you been?"

"I just got in..."

"Just got in? At 5:30? Where were you?"

Kevin felt a small amount of satisfaction. She was irritated. Good. So was he.

"Just out, Tris! Jesus! Clubbing and stuff. Am I supposed to report in to you now?"

"I was worried, Kevin! You left the show! What happened?"

"I had to take a leak. Big goddamn deal.... You'd think I shot the fuckin' president or something... By the way, congratulations on your Grammy, baby. I meant to call you about that. Sorry I didn't get to see you accept it. Who presented, anyway? Anybody you know?"

Tristan hesitated. The conversation was going downhill as it was and she didn't want to shove it any farther. Her pause, however, was long enough for Kevin to make an educated guess about who presented. It would have been almost funny if he hadn't already played out the scenario in a basement bathroom.

"Tris? Did you hear me?"

"Yes. I hear you." Her voice was low. "Asa presented..."

"I must be fuckin' psychic," Kevin hissed. "Well, I guess ole' Asa got himself at least two squeezes tonight then. Hell, maybe more.."

"What?"

"Well, darlin'..." Kevin said sarcastically, "I'm sure you got a hug when he handed you your little award. Probably a little kiss, too. Am I right?" Kevin's question was met with silence. "And I saw him copping a feel in the lobby of the Beverly Hills Hotel - hell, the whole country did. Which reminds me Tristan... Just where are you calling from?"

He knew he shouldn't have asked that. He didn't know what had made him say it but it was too late to take back now. The question had been thrown on the table. Kevin tried to backtrack.

"Tris..."

"Sorry, Kevin.." Tristan interrupted. "I've got to go. Room service is here with the champagne..." Click.

*****

"Mason! Wake up!"

"Whaaaat...."

Mason wouldn't open his eyes. He was reluctant to let go of his stupor. It couldn't be morning yet and he was having one hell of a decent dream.

"Something's wrong with Kevin..."

"No shit...." Mason groaned and rolled over, trying to ignore the interruption.

"I mean it Mason!" Tristan spat in hushed tones. "He's acting crazy!"

"Good reason for that..." he mumbled. "He is crazy..."

"God, Mason! I'm serious! He's upset about all this Grammy stuff!"

"Yeah..." Mason yawned, eyes still closed. "He's upset 'cause he doesn't have one..." He reached over and pulled the covers up over his shoulders, preparing to return to dream-land.

Tristan had to take more desperate measure to capture Mason's attention so she jerked the covers back and off of his body, effectively ripping away his cocoon of warmth and comfort.

"Hey! Goddammit, Precious! What in the hell is wrong with you?"

That did the trick. Mason bolted upright and started grabbing for the blanket. His eyes had cracked open a bit. Tristan anxiety was momentarily replaced by amusement.

"Gee, Mason... Speedos? Very nice..."

"Quit lookin' at my package, Tris!" Mason grumbled, trying to cover himself. "Your damn lucky I had anything on! Now what the hell are you trying to tell me?"

"I need to go to New York. There's a flight out in an hour and I think I can make it. I've already called a cab. I can be in New York by noon..."

"So what do you want me to...." Mason started shaking his head. "Oh, no.... You know I love those kids but Jesus, Tris! They're in the middle of being potty-trained and shit..."

"Please Mason? I have to get out there and get some stuff straight... You know where everything is and you can sign on my account. I'll leave you some checks..."

"Christ..." Mason groaned. "How long? I thought we were going back to Florida?"

"I'll be back day after tomorrow. Then we'll go to Florida..."

"Shit..." Mason flopped back down on the bed. "Good-bye. Adios. And tell that walkin' talkin' sphincter you married that I hope he appreciates my sacrifice for the cause..."

"Thank you, sweetheart!"

"Yeah, yeah...." Mason huffed as he rolled back over, determined to rediscover his dream.

*****

"What room, Carlos?"

Carlos blinked. The elevator door had opened as he stood nearby talking to Billy and there she stood. She didn't move out of the elevator as she asked her question but stood inside the doors with her finger on the 'open' button. The bodyguard frowned. After he had gotten past his surprise at seeing her, his thoughts flew immediately to security issues. Tristan was no stranger to the fans and here she was walking around alone. Kevin would be pissed and rightly so.

"How did you come into the hotel?" Carlos barked.

"Through the front door. Now, what room?"

"That lobby is flooded with fans!"

"Yes it is. I was nice - they were nice. What room?"

"Don't you ever do that again!" he reprimanded loudly. "You let somebody know when you're coming! You hear?"

"Yes, sir!" Tristan saluted. "What room?"

"1422..." Carlos grunted. "Here's a keycard..."

"Thank you, dear..." Tristan smiled.

"I didn't mean to yell..."

"Yes, you did..."

Carlos almost smiled. "Yeah... I did..." he muttered. "I think Kevin would have wanted me to..."

Tristan palmed the card and took the hall with a rather deliberate stride, glancing at the brass room numbers fastened to the doors. She was on a mission and glad that the corridor was empty. Tristan had been working herself up for battle but her courage slipped a little when she realized that this was the same hotel where Kevin had slept with Lily and she felt herself stumble a bit. Kevin's room was on a different floor but the carpeting and paint colors hadn't changed. The ice machine was behind the same door on this floor as it had been on the other. She shook herself out of her déjà vu and stopped in front of 1422. Then she drew a breath, stuck the card in the lock and turned the door handle.

The room's heavy draperies had been drawn and it was dark. Tristan left the door open just long enough to find the light switch. Then she pushed them all up and slammed the heavy door as hard as she could.

BAM!!!

Holly and Nick were just coming out of their room across the hall when they spotted Tristan standing inside of Kevin's door. Holly raised her hand to call and wave but she was a split second too late. All she managed was a "Tri..." before the door had slammed in her face.

AJ was in his room next door to Kevin's. The slam startled him badly enough that he almost dropped his cell as he was beginning to dial. The phone fumble was picture perfect but with a major effort he was able to grab it with his fingers before it smashed onto the tile. "Jesus!" Curiosity drew him out into the hallway where he saw Nick and Holly, who were just standing and staring at Kevin's door.

"What the fuck was that?" AJ asked irritably. "Did you do something, Nick?"

They both turned to AJ looking like two idiots. "Tristan's here..." they said simultaneously. "I think she's pissed..." Nick added.

Like three conspirators, they each took the required number of steps necessary to place them against the door of room 1422. Holly stooped and pressed her ear against the door while Nick and AJ stood facing each other pressing the sides of their face against the wood. It didn't take too long for them to get an earful.

*****

"Kevin!" Kevin, wake the hell up!" Tristan screamed as she grabbed a pillow and began pummeling him with it. "You've had more damn sleep than I have, so get your ass up now! I want to ask you a question!"

Kevin's eyes flew open and he instinctively covered his head with his arms. He didn't know what in the hell was happening. A crazy person has broken into my room...

"Kevin!" Tristan yelled again. "Are you awake?"

"Jesus Christ - God damn!" Kevin shouted back. "Quit with the hitting! Shit, Tristan!"

Kevin jerked himself up, still disoriented and unsure of what was happening. Blinking and rubbing at his eyes with his fists, he tried to make some sense out of what was happening. Finally, his eyes focused on the pissed off blond with the pillow in her hands.

"Tris?" he whispered as his eyes narrowed in disbelief. "Is that you?"

"No, Kevin..." she spat back sarcastically. "Tris is at the Beverly HIlls Hotel fucking Asa Whitmore..."

(Outside the door, three pairs of eyes widened."What did she say?" Nick whispered, not quite believing his ears.

"Shhhhh!" AJ scowled and pressed his ear back up against the door.)

"What in the fuck in wrong with you, Tristan? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in LA!"

"I told you why I'm here, Kevin! I want to ask you a question!"

"You flew three-thousand miles to ask me a question?" he growled. "..Or to give me a fuckin' heart attack?"

"I want to know what you want, Kevin. I've been thinking about this and decided I might have been looking at things the wrong way..."

"What are you talking about?" Kevin barked impatiently. "Try to make some sense!"

"Okay." Tristan nodded. "Kevin...do you want me to fuck Asa?"

Kevin's eyes caught fire and he jumped out of the bed and stood over her, looking down into her face with a coldness that would freeze alcohol. Tristan swallowed but held her ground.

"What did you ask me?" Kevin hissed.

"You seem so hung up on the possibility that Asa and I have been or could be together, that it finally occurred to me that maybe, subconsiously, you want me to sleep with him." Tristan took a breath and then locked onto his eyes. "Do you?"

Kevin's stern expression morphed into one of incredulity. "And why, Miss Freud, would I want you to do that?"

Tristan didn't miss a beat. "Because you want a divorce..."

("Shit!" Holly whispered as she fell back on her ass. "A divorce?"
Nick frowned. "That's bull! Kevin don't want no divorce. He musta jumped on her about that Asa shit at the Grammy's. I think that..."
"Shut-up!" AJ ordered.
Three ears went back to the door.)

For a moment, Kevin could hear nothing but the pulse pounding in his ears. Even during their worst times, he had never considered divorce. The word seemed foreign to him, almost nonsensical. He flopped back down on the edge of the bed without realizing it and now found himself staring at rumpled sheets. The puckers and folds seem to capture the image of a giant rabbit. The place where his legs had been covered formed the ears....

"Kevin?"

Her voice sounded far away. When he raised his head, the hardness had left his face and been replaced with confusion, bewilderment and an unexpectedly deep hurt. He looked like someone had just punched him in the gut.

"Why would you think that?" he whispered. "I don't understand..."

"You would have sympathetic grounds, wouldn't you?", Tristan answered quietly. "Nobody would think you were 'the bad guy'."

"You've been thinking about this, haven't you? Do you really think I want this?" Kevin's voice cracked. "Do you think I'm unhappy?"

Tristan walked over to the window and peeked behind the curtain as if checking the view. Her throat hurt. She had been ready for battle, expecting to bring Kevin to his senses with anger - with a knock-down, drag-out, if necessary. She hadn't counted on him getting visibly upset especially with the caustic remarks he'd tossed at her when they had spoken on the phone. Her defiance was weakening. God, why did he have to look at her like that - like she had just slapped him across the face? Now was the time for him to answer her fears.

"I sometimes think that I make you unhappy…" Tristan confessed. "I don't respond to things the way you wish I would. I don't fit in with your Hollywood friends. You don't care for…," Tristan tried to express herself in neutral terms, "…some of my associations…" She took a deep breath and finished with an admission and an accusation. "I don't like Eminem and you don't trust me…."

"What are you saying? Of course I trust you… Goddamn, Tris… You're the only thing in my life that I do trust. Don't say that…"

"Then why do you go on and on about Asa?" Tristan whirled around to face him, her wet lashes meeting his glazed eyes. "You always get so angry and suspicious about him - like you think we've done something we shouldn't have…"

"No…"

"You've gotten angry about others, too. Maybe you wonder if I've been unfaithful - an adultress…." Tristans emotions were betraying her. A combination of anger, defiance, fear and weariness was taking its toll. Her scripted ambush was flying right out of the window.

"Tris! No! I don't think …."

"Maybe you even wonder if Asa and I were lovers before I met you! You wouldn't have any way of knowing that, would you Kevin? Not for sure!"

Mild hysteria was starting to build now and Kevin could see it coming. He jumped off of the bed and quickly stepped over to her, grabbing her by the shoulders as he bent down to her face.

"No, baby…" he cooed pushing her hair back from her face, trying to calm her. "I don't think that… I'm sorry…"

"But you'll never be sure, will you Kevin?", she shouted as she tried to wriggle free. "You might not have been my first lover! I might have been lying to you! I might have spread my legs for….."

"TRISTAN!"

Kevin jerked her shoulders fiercely, causing her head to snap back. Her eyes flew open and she was suddenly speechless. His face was inches from hers. When Kevin was sure he had her attention, he spoke. His voice was rich and thick and heavy with remorse. He just couldn't admit that sometimes he was just afraid… so terribly afraid…

"I was your first lover, Tris. I know that…"

"No you don't…" Tears spilled as Tristan shook her head. "You doubt me… How can you know?''

"It's not so hard…" Kevin smiled gently. He released one of her shoulders and tapped the side of his head with his free hand. "I know here…" he said slowly. "But more importantly, I know here…" With those words, Kevin brought his hand to his chest and tapped the place over his heart.

"If you know…" Tristan pleaded, "…then you won't ever say those mean words again… They hurt me, Kevin. They hurt me so bad…."

Tristan plea was watered with a new wash of tears. She didn't try to get away as Kevin held her to him and began to rock.

"I won't darlin'… I promise. I'm sorry….sorry…."

She was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted and couldn't summon the strength to subdue her sobs.

"Shhh…shhh… Tris, my baby… You're so tired…." Kevin whispered against her hair. "Let's go to sleep for a little while…"

She didn't agree or disagree but when Kevin unbuttoned her sweater and pulled it off and then unfastened her khakis and slipped them down to the floor, he heard no protest. He settled her in first and then crawled in beside her and pulled her up to him so that her head rested on his collarbone and her arm lay across his chest.

"I love you, Tris. Always will…." Kevin murmured as his fingers wrapped around her wrist. "…no matter what…"

"Sing me to sleep…please…"

Tristan drifted off to sleep to Kevin's hushed baritone..

"I want you to be the only thing that I see,
Cause I believe it's our destiny…
Just to be close

Outside, the Three Stooges gave a collective sigh of relief, feeling no guilt on having listened in on their friends and giving Holly a new appreciation for Nick's oft repeated phrase, "We ain't got no secrets…"

If only that were true…

Chapter 68

Kevin and Tristan slept until late in the afternoon. Neither had eaten breakfast, and had missed lunch as well, but had been too physically and emotionally drained to let the pangs of hunger disturb their much needed rest from anger, anxiety and doubt. When they finally awoke, the fragile umbrella of insecurities had been folded and put away and, although Kevin's fingers had never left Tristan's wrist, the gesture seemed to be more the result of his need for connection than his fear of loss.

They made love to each other, each taking delicate initiatives and each allowing gentle seduction, enabling them to both give and take the reassurances they needed. The reconnection was completed in a large marble tub where they assumed their long established positions and found further comfort in the feel of their bodies pressing against each other. Kevin leaned against the back of the tub and Tristan lay between his legs with her back against his chest. They soaked for a long time in silence, letting the afterglow of orgasm dissipate into the warm, bubbled water. When they had finished soaking they made a different kind of love by bathing each other with tender affection as well as with scented soap. It had grown dark by the time they climbed out of the tub and the city skyline had become peppered with tiny dots of light.

While Tristan used her cell to make a reservation for a flight back to LA the next day, Kevin called Carlos. They would be going out to dinner. As it turned out, the entire group had chosen to go out together tonight and Kevin decided that he and Tristan would join them. She hadn't seen her friends in a long time.

"Boy, bet you were surprised to see Tris, huh Kev?" Nick grinned between forks full of pasta. "Me and Holly saw her go in your room. Damn, she was pissed-off, wasn't she...." Kevin's glare hit him at about the same time that the heel of Holly's boot made contact with his shin. "Ouch!"

Nick redirected his attention from Kevin to Holly. She was innocently picking at her salad and then popped an olive into her mouth. When Kevin followed Nick's eyes, Holly was glancing around the room, convincingly unaffected.

"What?" she smiled, ignoring Nick and Kevin's frowns.

AJ twisted in his chair nervously and pretended to look at other diners.

Tristan cut in. "I wasn't ... mad....," she lied. "Just tired, probably..."

"Well, hell! You sure sounded mad to me," Nick replied without thinking.

Kevin rested his fork on his plate, calmly took a sip of wine and wiped the corners of his mouth with his napkin.

"How would you know how Tris sounded?" Kevin's tone was even but his eyes had narrowed, giving a suspicious weight to the question. "What - did you have your ear pressed against the door or something?"

AJ was taking a swallow of his beer when Kevin asked his questions and started choking violently, unintentionally distracting Kevin and saving Nick's ass. Holly immediately flew from her chair and began to hammer AJ on the back with her fist.

"Are you alright?" she yelled, still pounding away.

"Christ, Holly! Will you stop? You're killing me, here!" AJ was shouting back between punches.

Holly withdrew her hand, insulted by AJ's total lack of appreciation. "I was just trying to help you! You could have choked to death, you know!"

"Shit! I'm alright," AJ grumbled. "Just paralyzed from the waist down now because of a sudden back injury..."

Kevin studied the three of them carefully, his eyes moving from one face to the other. Hopeless.... Then he sighed, shook his head and continued his dinner.

*****

They had left the restaurant at around seven and went to a nearby bar called Shamrock's. None of them knew anything about the place except that it was across the street, probably Irish and, hopefully, warm. When you spend a lot of time in warmer climates, like Florida, February in New York can be a painful experience.

The bar was narrow, dark, loud and smoky. The patrons, most of whom were older than they were, seemed pleasant and jovial. The music, which was piped out over the bar area, was definitely Celtic. Most tunes were happy 'toe-tappers' that resonated with the sounds of a hammered dulcimer but there were sad, tear jerking ballads, too - the perfect mixture for the happy drunk as well as the solitary soul who wanted to literally cry in his beer. Best of all, the bar crowd didn't seem to pay much attention to the group as they made their way to the back of the room.

They had decided to check out a club or two later but it was still a bit early for that. The dinner had been amiable and calm except for that brief interlude when Nick's mouth had overridden his brain but that seemed to have passed without major incident.

Holly sat at the large table sipping a daiquiri as Brian, Nick and Kevin discussed some material they had been working on for the new album. They would be in the studio next week to begin work on the first album to be totally written and produced by themselves alone. Jive hadn't been thrilled with the proposition and still claimed the right to chop their work to pieces if they so desired, but had decided to placate their increasingly unhappy clients by letting them try to go it alone. The Boys were nervous but excited. They had expected more balking from the label.

Tristan had gone to the ladies room. Carlos and the other bodyguards sat at a nearby table. Howie and AJ stood at the bar, flirting with a thoroughly bored bartender while Jack leaned against a nearby payphone talking to Mason. Holly's gaze wrapped around Nick and Kevin, who were having a good-natured argument about the bridge to a song that Brian had written. Brian sat back and listened to the two of them, amused, and occasionally threw a piece of kindling onto the smoldering disagreement. It was all in fun. Holly enjoyed moments like these where she could sit back and observe, unnoticed.

She was particularly fascinated by Nick and Kevin's interaction. Their history dictated that that Nick do what he can, even subconsciously, to annoy his oldest 'brother' but it didn't take a psychologist to see that Nick thrived on Kevin's attention. It was true that Kevin often fussed at Nick but she could only recall hearing about Kevin being truly upset with him on one occasion and that was when Nick had jumped all over Tristan in the corridor of the hotel during the ITM tour. She and Tris had taken off for Kentucky soon after. Nick and Kevin had a genuine affection for each other despite what fans seemed to think. Holly just hoped that nothing would ever come between them.

Her thoughts clouded as she considered Kevin's drug use and she casually glanced around the room trying to evaluate her qualms. From the corner of her eye, she watched Carlos slide his large frame from a nearby booth and walk towards the men's room. Surely he has an idea of what's happening… A burst of laughter drew her attention towards the bar. Howie probably hadn't considered the possibility one way or the other but AJ was a different story. Holly had seen AJ watching Kevin but Holly doubted that he had actually seen anything other than some pot smoking. She did know, however, that AJ was an intuitive man and not likely to put himself in denial over the possibilities.

Amanda was sharp but hadn't been around much lately. Holly wondered if AJ and Amanda ever talked about Kevin in general conversation. She was fairly certain that Leighanne was clueless, but Brian….. Well, Holly had conflicted feelings about him. As she had spent more time with the group, her initial reaction to him had gone from 'He's too good to be true' to 'He is too good to be true'. She didn't feel any real animosity towards him and knew that Nick and Kevin loved him but Holly sensed that Brian Littrell had the capacity to be surprisingly cagey and manipulative.

Holly absently twirled the paper umbrella that had decorated her drink as she considered others who came into frequent contact with Kevin and who might have noticed his increasingly quirky reactions to things. She heard a burst of laughter from across the room and turned to see Jack grinning and nodding his head at an unresponsive receiver. <i>Jack may be aware of the changes. It's kind of his job to be aware. He may be uneasy…</i> Holly was 99% sure that Mason didn't suspect anything. If he did, he wouldn't keep it a secret. He'd be having a fit and trying his damnedest to protect Tristan and those babies…

Here she comes… Tristan was inching through the bar, trying to work herself back to the table and Holly suddenly remembered the conversation that she and Nick had had with Tristan's doctor at Stonewall House - the 'soul mate' conversation. She glanced quickly at Kevin and saw that he had spotted her, too. A smile played at the corner of his mouth as Tristan bumped past chairs and inebriated customers, trying to get to the back table. Kevin was clean tonight. His eyes almost seem to change color when they locked onto Tristan. Holly felt her throat tighten. Anyone who watched these two during little 'non-moments' like this would know that this was a couple that was so connected that they truly were incomplete without each other. They had been given such a gift and the fact that these two people, with their totally different backgrounds, had come together at all was mind boggling. It was also frightening. There would be no 'in-between' for Kevin or Tristan. Their relationship would remain intense and passionate or it would be non-existent. It would be all - or it would be nothing.

Holly also wondered how someone like Tristan, who had seen and been through so much shit, could retain such a degree on innocence. The fact was that she had been somewhat protected from the drug scene. She knew it existed, of course, but had never been forced to face the reality of it. Holly sincerely hoped that the time would never come when she did have to face it. She had no clue as to what Tristan's reaction would be but she suspected that Tris, like Nick, would only recognize the problem if she were forced to.

*****

Tristan left for LA early the next day. In a few days she would meet Kevin in Florida. In the meantime, she would pack up some of their things while Kevin and the group did their PR stint. Although they weren't touring, they still made appearances, granted interviews and did photo shoots. Hopefully, the new album would out in early fall, making it almost two years since Backstreet had released any new material.

The next few months would prove to be relatively calm for most of them. There were fights in the studio - mostly involving Brian and Kevin, arguments with the label and its lawyers, and decisions made about endorsements and promotions.

Each of the guys had their own projects they wanted to work on, as well. Kevin and AJ spent a good amount of time in talent development for their still unnamed label. The press had already dubbed the mystery label "No Name Records" which suited AJ just fine. AJ performed as his alter ego Johnny and Kevin collaborated with other song writers and edited two videos. Howie's business interests continued to grow and kept him occupied and Brian played lots of golf, bought lots of tiny little dogs and wrote romantic lyrics. Nick was working with a local rock band and also writing material for them as well as for himself.

Personal lives continued to evolve for all of them. Sometimes they moved backwards a step or two, but generally, they stumbled forward. Howie played the field but would occasionally admit wo wishing that he had a 'partner'. AJ and Amanda broke up and got back together - twice. Brian finally bought Leighanne a bid-assed ring. She immediately subscribed to four bridal magazines, picked out a china pattern and started lining up bridesmaids.

Kevin and Tristan rolled with the punches of parenthood pretty well. Kevin liked his role as 'Daddy' and tended to spoil. He and Tristan had no major arguments which isn't to say that they didn't have their 'moments'. One such moment came when Tristan asked AJ what kind of balls Amanda had given him after she'd overheard him telling Howie that Amanda had given him 'blue-balls' that afternoon. Tristan had assumed that Amanda had given AJ a set of bowling balls that happened to be blue. AJ, finally finding himself on the receiving end of one of Tristan's semantic lapses, had actually been embarrassed. Kevin's chin had fallen to his chest in abject mortification but Amanda had laughed her ass off. 'Bowling balls?' she had smirked. 'More like BB's…'

Tristan didn't get it. Kevin had had to explain it….. later.

Kevin still took the occasional pill and snorted the occasional line but these occurrences were relatively infrequent compared to what they had been. The problem was that Kevin had continued to spend far too much time thinking about his guilty pleasures even though he had curbed his intake.

As far as Nick and Holly, things were good. The trouble was that Nick wanted things to be great and he had slowly convinced himself, during the months since the tour ended, that things wouldn't be 'great' until he and Holly married. Engaged just wasn't enough anymore. He wanted permanence and security. By the end of the summer, Nick had decided it was time to 'piss or get off the pot'.

He prepared a speech, being very careful not to issue any ultimatums, and surprised Holly by kidnapping her from a symphony rehearsal on a Thursday afternoon in August. He took her to Bern's for dinner and then they drove over to the gulf in time to catch the sunset. Nick had put a cooler with champagne and two flutes in the back of the car, as well as blanket that rested lightly on top of three dozen stems of moth orchids. He had bought candles, figuring he could stick them down in the sand. He just hoped they would stay lit in the gulf breezes. Nick had music ready to go on a portable CD player and he had a card - a card he had made himself.

He had outfitted himself with every romantic relic he could think of or had ever heard about - good food, wine, sunset, beach, candles, flowers, music, man, woman… It was almost embarrassing, but all of his hokey planning seemed to have the desired effect. Holly was mellow, responsive, soft-hearted and tenderly amused at his romantic foresight.

"I made you a card.." Nick said quietly as he refilled her flute.

"You did?" Holly smiled back at him. "I swear, Nick. If we weren't already engaged, I'd think you were about to propose…"

Nick shrugged and handed her his paper creation.

"Well, as a matter of fact…."

Holly buried the stem of her wine-glass in the sand and held the card near the flame of a violently flickering candle. On the front of the card, Nick had drawn two cartoon-like figures. He had labeled the figures 'Nick' and 'Holly' but that had hardly been necessary. Nick was a good artist and anyone would have known who the figures represented. Above the two figures, Nick had printed in bold letters:

WILL YOU MARRY ME...

Holly laughed. "I thought I already answered that one," she grinned.

Nick chuckled uneasily and nodded his head towards the card, indicating that she should open it. She did. The inside of the card, also in bold print, read:

As Holly's grin faded, Nick prepared to deliver his speech but was stopped by Holly's penetrating gaze.

"Nick…. I don't know what to say, but……..yes.

Email Grace

"Circling" is a work of fiction.
The characters and events portrayed are fictitious.
Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.

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Fiction by Grace