Tristan Trilogy- Story 3

CHAPTER 81

Kevin was silent as he slowly lowered the phone from his ear. Tristan heard the short tone sound as his thumb hit the ‘disconnect’ button. His eyes never left hers and she found herself overcome with a mixture of anxiety and guilt. She could think of nothing to say. As Kevin stepped to the counter and returned the handset to its cradle, he sighed deeply. Tristan knew he was trying to control himself and she sincerely hoped he would succeed. She made a conscious effort to keep her chin raised when he turned.

“What are you doing, Tris?”

He didn’t scream the question or blurt it out. His voice was low and the spaces between words seemed measured as if he wanted to make sure that she understood what he was asking her and didn’t want to have to repeat himself.

“I – I think you know…”

She wasn’t trying to be evasive or smart. Kevin drew in another breath and crossed his arms. Color was rising on his neck.

“Let me rephrase then, baby…” His tone was still flat and Tristan could see that it was a struggle for him to maintain an aura of calmness. “Why are you doing this?” Kevin shifted on his feet and waited for her to respond.

“I was worried,” Tristan answered honestly.

Kevin nodded as if he understood but his expression remained steely.

“So you decided to call a stranger and rattle off your ‘worries’.” Kevin’s tone was becoming harsh. “Did you tell him who you were? Did you tell him who I was?”

“No! Of course not!” Tristan cried, shaking her head. “The call was anonymous! I would never do that, Kevin!”

“GODDAMMIT!” Kevin reached over and knocked the phone book off the table where it landed on the floor by Tristan’s feet. “Anonymous? Are you fucking kidding me? They probably hit ‘star 69’ as soon as you dropped the phone! Do you think they don’t have the wherewithal to trace a number? Don’t be so fucking stupid!”

“But we’re unlisted!” Tristan protested.

Kevin began to pace. “They can find it! Believe me, these people have ways to get information!” Paranoia… “Are you trying to ruin me, Tris? What the hell did you tell them?”

“Nothing! Nothing, Kevin… They don’t know who I am. I just had questions..”

“About?” he spat, cutting her off.

Tristan hesitated while she attempted to regain her composure. The baby was kicking furiously and she slowly rubbed her tummy in a maternal effort to calm the unborn child.

“Cocaine…” Tristan answered.

Kevin’s lips reshaped themselves into a humorless smile. “Cocaine? You mean ‘Crystal’? ‘Snow’? ‘Blow’?” His tone hardened again with anger. “If you had questions about cocaine, why didn’t you ask me instead of some stranger on the phone?”

Tristan’s eyes began to fill with tears. “Because – because I didn’t want to find out that you had the answers…” She quickly wiped her lashes before any tears could fall. “But you do have the answers, don’t you Kevin? You can tell me all I want to know. You can tell me because you’re using it…”

Kevin blinked only once and pressed his hands up to his face. After a moment, he began to drag them down his cheeks – not in weariness, but in frustration. He snorted once and then his hands fell to his hips where he struck a defiant pose before leveling his glare at Tristan once again.

“What do you want me to say, Tris?” he shrugged.

Tristan’s throat began to tighten. He wasn’t going to deny anything.

“I want you tell me that I’m wrong, Kevin! I want you to tell me that you don’t use this stuff…”

Kevin glanced to the floor as if he were considering her request and then met her face again. His voice was draped in a whisper.

“I can’t do that, baby….”

In her heart of hearts, she knew it was coming but Tristan still felt as if she’d had the wind knocked out of her. In that moment, she realized that she would have to deal with this on her own or get out. He wasn’t ready to put this pleasure away. Maybe he couldn’t put it away. Surely, it hadn’t gotten that bad…. Once again, she could think of nothing to say.

“I think I need to sit down…”

A feeling of dizziness swept over Tristan and she reached behind her, blindly searching for the chair that served the kitchen table. Before she could sit, however, Kevin was in front of her. She felt his hands pressing against her ribs and suddenly she was in his arms. His arms tightened around her, holding her close and she felt his cheek moving against hers. She tried to catch her breath as his stubble slid up and down her face in an attempt to soothe her fears and calm her anxiety. Kevin’s breath was hot against her ear and his voice rustled with an intimacy usually reserved for their more erotic and passionate moments. All she could do was listen, mesmerized at his urgency.

“Shhh, baby.. Settle down, now. Just breathe easy. I’ve got you Tris. Shhh….”

She responded with a whimper before Kevin began again.

“Don’t let this mess us up, Tris. You’re overreacting, baby….” His large hand began to move up and down her back. He was coaxing her….gently coaxing…. “This is an occasional thing. It’s not a big deal. I won’t let it be a big deal. We’ve been through too much real shit, Tris. This is nothing. Don’t make it ‘something’…”

She could feel his pulse beating against her throat, lulling her – convincing her that her fears were unfounded.

“You know I love you, Tris. You have to know that… Trust me, baby. This isn’t like you think. It’s less than nothing… Almost everyone I know uses this shit sometime – it doesn’t mean anything… Our life is good, Tris - beautiful kids, another baby coming…”

She felt him bury his face in her hair, still murmuring. The baby turned in her belly. She knew Kevin could feel the movement, too.

“Let this go, Tris. Everything is good, baby. Keep it good… Keep it good, Tris… This is a small thing. It won’t affect us or our babies. It doesn’t happen that much. It’s social, Tris. I love you…love you…” Then he drew back and looked at her. “Open your mouth, Tristan…”

Her acquiescence signaled the end of the confrontation. Her sense of logic had succumbed to a need for security, safety and love. Kevin loved her that night – and made her feel his love with an intensity that made her cry. Her choices were limited and lousy so she put her hopes in his hands and gave him her burden. But later that night, her night terrors revisited her. It had been such a long, long time… Kevin wouldn’t realize and she couldn’t recognize that her safety net had developed a small, but definite, tear.

*****

They were finally out of LA once more and had no definite plans to return until after the baby was born. Kevin would be making short side trips to California but that was all. Once back in Orlando, Tristan began to relax a little. Kevin was attentive and focused and their lives seemed almost normal. But when Kevin went out alone in the evenings, her trepidations resurfaced. She tried her best to keep them to herself but had difficulty hiding an occasional doubt. At these times, Kevin either fought for patience or ignored her unspoken fears. As a result, there were sometimes brief periods of tension. Tristan had become somewhat clingy and Kevin’s subtly increasing paranoia assumed that her neediness was based in worry about him rather than a hormonal call for reassurance.

He succeeded in keeping Tristan separated from this part of his life. Although his cocaine usage had increased somewhat, she never saw him use it. He had compartmentalized his life quite well – Backstreet was placed on one shelf, other business on another. His friends and social contacts occupied a third shelf, divided into two groups: Friends and associates they both knew and enjoyed and those people Kevin saw on his own. These were the people that Kevin sometimes partied with – the ones who shared and stimulated his drug use, the ones who fed his ego. Yet another shelf held his family and home. Although this shelf was the most precious to him, he slowly began to take it for granted and came to believe that he could prevent some aspects of his life from polluting others.

Tristan kept her fears tightly capped. Friends noticed that she seemed increasingly reticent but chalked it up to her pregnancy. The fact was that she and Kevin were good together. He was, by all intents and purposes, a good husband and father. Tristan and the children wanted for nothing but she remained afraid.

In December, The Richardson clan moved themselves into their Kentucky home to settle down for the holidays. Kevin still traveled for promos and guest appearances and Tristan found that a lot of Christmas preparations were left to her alone. Thankfully, Kevin’s family was around to help her. He didn’t always call her everyday like he used to. When she told him she missed his calls and wished he could find a few minutes to talk to her, he would roll his eyes as is he were dealing with a petulant child. He came to view her loneliness as whining and she soon stopped making demands on his time. Once more she found solace in her piano.

When he was home, he was happy and affectionate but when he was away it was almost like Tristan didn’t exist – at least she felt that way. Kevin was taking his life for granted. He was also taking Tristan’s life and the lives of his children for granted. Soon after Christmas, Kevin began to grow restless and one week after their fourth anniversary and the twin’s third birthday, they went back to Orlando. Kevin would be home for a while now. The group was polishing their new album and the planning for a short tour, to begin in April, was underway. Kevin seemed to settle into this career phase quite well. Despite other business and professional ventures, his first musical love would always be Backstreet. Their Oscar had afforded the group a respectability that they hadn’t experienced before. That respect had allowed them to take their time with this album and find the confidence they needed to plan a different kind of tour. These shows would have no pyro or special effects. There would be no choreography. This time, the Boys would sing. Just sing. The venues would be smaller, the audiences more mature. Backstreet had evolved from showmen to artists. Kevin had surprised Tristan by arranging accommodations for her and the children on this tour. He seemed to be surprised that she was surprised by this. Tristan allowed herself to relax a little. Maybe she had imagined things. Maybe she was being too needy – too sensitive. Everything was going to be alright, after all…

*****

Tristan’s back had been killing her all day. She glanced at the calendar as she stepped over to the refrigerator to replace a bottle of ginger-ale. It was February 3. Her due date was February 2. Tristan shook her head. This little bundle was going to take its time. Dr. Malone had agreed to take her on as a patient even though this seemed to be a problem-free pregnancy. The perks of listening to Kevin’s comments, suggestions and questions more than made up for his taking on Tristan’s delivery unnecessarily. Both parents seemed to be doing well despite Kevin’s fixation on Tristan’s size – or lack thereof.

Kevin had been staring at her for the last four days. Tristan wasn’t sure whether or not he was afraid she would explode or if he were willing her to do so. She carried her pickles everywhere but, so far, there had been no indication that anything was about to happen. Now, on top of impatience, weariness and anxiety, she had this damn backache.

She was irritated with Kevin, too. He had gone out tonight and there she sat, all alone watching the clock and the calendar. He had said that he was just going to the studio for a hour but it had already been three hours and he still wasn’t home. Tristan’s stubborn streak had made a guest appearance when she realized he was going out and she would be damned if she was going to call him. But it’s been three hours… At least he had put Ben and Mallory to bed before he left.

It was almost midnight when Tristan decided to go to bed, partly out of boredom but mostly out of frustration. Plus, her back still ached. The aching had come and gone all day but it seemed to her that the discomfort was more constant than it had been earlier and she thought that maybe a warmth bath would relieve some of the tension in her back. Tristan hadn’t soaked in the tub for several weeks – at least not by herself. She had the foresight to bring the cordless phone in the bathroom with her – just in case Kevin should call. The water felt good and did seem to offer her some relief. Tristan scowled at the cordless phone. What she really needed was a backrub.

She had just leaned back against the tub pillow when the first jolt hit her. Tristan gripped the sides of the tub waiting for the cramping to pass. She didn’t realize the she had been holding her breath until her belly unknotted and she exhaled, surprised that her lungs could hold so much air. There was no mistaking that feeling. That had been no mere cramp. That was definitely a contraction. - and she was by herself.

Her first reaction was to get out of the tub. Unfortunately, her body didn’t want to cooperate with her instinct. Tristan floundered and splashed like a beached whale, her grip on the tub walls precarious at best. When she tried to lift herself, her hands slid backwards, thwarting any hope for leverage. Her legs were useless and her increased center of gravity made her attempt at escape futile. For a brief moment she thought about how ridiculous she must look and though she was not usually vain, she was thankful that she was alone. When the next contraction hit and she was still submerged, she began to panic. Where in the hell is Kevin? Tristan grabbed the phone and began to furiously stab the buttons. Her stubbornness and pride had evaporated with the realization that she was in labor.

Tristan must have listened to the studio phone ring at least a dozen times. No answer. Then she tried his cell – and got voicemail. Now what? Mason was in LA with Jack. She couldn’t call 911. Her predicament would be all over the papers and she could imagine the fun the headline writers would have with this situation. Tristan had no choice. She would have to call AJ.

CHAPTER 82

AJ was shooting a game of pool with Nick when he heard his cell ring. The billiard bar was noisy and crowded and AJ had to stick a finger in his open ear in order to hear the caller – or so he thought. He wasn’t prepared for Tristan’s bellowing assault on his ear drums. His eyes widened as Tristan screamed at him and he glanced over at Nick who was regarding AJ with unmasked curiosity.

“Jesus, Tris! Stop screeching at me! I can’t understand you..”

“What’s wrong?” Nick mouthed, moving closer to AJ.

AJ shrugged, still listening. Nick could only hear his side of the conversation.

“The tub? What do you mean?….. Stuck?….. Where’s Kevin?”

AJ made a face as he jerked the phone away from his ear. Apparently, Tristan’s decibel level has increased to the point of causing pain. Nick could hear her yelling but the only words he could make out were ‘son of a bitch’.

“Labor? What are you talking about?…….. Yes, Tris – I know what that is…. Want me to call an ambulance or something?”

Once again, Nick watched as AJ pulled the phone away.

“Okay…Okay…. Nick and I will come right over. You just stay calm….” AJ cast a sideways glance at Nick. “Yeah, he’s here. Holly’s in Atlanta for a couple of days. He’s staying with me… Okay, okay, baby…. We’ll think of something… Don’t move…”

When AJ brought the phone down to turn it off, Nick could hear Tristan cursing again.

“What in the hell’s wrong with her?” Nick asked anxiously. “Did you talk to Kevin? Is he alright?”

“He ain’t gonna be when Tristan gets ahold of him! Come on, Nick. We gotta get over there…”

“Why? What’s going on? Why is Tristan yelling? God, I could even hear her though the noise in here!”

AJ stopped, sighed and turned to give Nick what he hoped would be a one time explanation, as least as far as he could understand it himself.

“I think Tristan’s got that stuff Kevin was telling us about before – you know, that Pissed Off Pregnant Woman’s Disease or something…”

“I thought he said they got that when the kid started to pop out…”

“Yeah, well – ‘DUH’, Nick!”

“WHAT? She having the baby? What’s she calling you for, then?”

“She can’t find Kevin…” AJ answered through clenched teeth.

“Like I said – what’s she calling you for then…”

“Look, Nick,” AJ growled impatiently as he started moving towards the door, “All I know is that Tristan’s stuck in the bathtub and can’t get out. She can’t find Kevin. She’s home alone with the kids and she’s having labor pains. We gotta go…”

Nick screeched to a halt. “Uh.. I dunno, man. I don’t think I can do this again. You remember last time…”

“I know…” AJ murmured with a hint of fear in his voice. I thought she was gonna rip my leg off…” AJ visibly braced himself, taking on the cloak of supreme courage. “But we gotta. Besides”, he added as an afterthought, “Maybe, if we’re lucky, Kevin will’ve come home by the time we get there…”

*****

Tristan lay in the tub fluctuating between bouts of fear, anger and pain. If Kevin had been anywhere within reach, she would have happily performed her own impromptu vasectomy using only a nail file and a pair of toenail clippers. It had been twenty minutes since she had hung up with AJ. Twenty minutes and another contraction…. Thank God the twins were asleep.

She thought she heard tires screeching outside and cocked her ear to the window. Then the front door slammed and suddenly it sounded as if an entire herd of elephants were pounding up the stairs. Two male voices – fussing male voices – drew closer and seemed to fall silent in the hallway outside of the bedroom door.

“FOR SHIT’S SAKE! GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE AND HELP ME!”

AJ and Nick momentarily froze, stared at each other and swallowed in unison.

“Okay…” AJ whispered. “Cover me…”

You would think they were on a mission to rescue a hostage held captive by terrorists instead of a fat woman stuck in a bathtub. They galloped across the room and burst through the bathroom door as a team only to be blindsided by the sight of a nude Tristan floating belly up in a tub of water. Both of them ground to a halt and slid on the wet tiles, closing and covering their eyes in the process.

“Jeeeeeez, Tris! You’re naked!” AJ scolded loudly.

“Kevin is gonna kill us…” Nick whispered from behind his hands.

“HELP MEEEEEEE!” Tristan screamed, deliberately splashing water in their direction. “What the hell did you think? That I’d be wearing Versace in the goddamn bathtub?”

“Damn, girl – chill!” Nick hissed. “We’re gonna help you. We just didn’t expect to – to see so…so much of you, I guess… ” As an afterthought, he added – “Not that you should be embarrassed or anything. I mean, AJ and I have seen naked women before…”

Still, neither of them made a move.

“How are you two gonna help me if you don’t get me outta here and how are you gonna get me outta here if you don’t open your FUCKIN’ EYES?”

AJ and Nick breathed a collective sigh and slowly opened one eye at a time. They looked at each other before turning their gaze towards Tristan. Her belly rose up from the water as if it were detached from the rest of her body. It looked like some kind of rounded island. It was AJ who made the first semi-sensible move.

“Let me get you a towel, Tris…”

As AJ stepped over to pull a towel from the rack, Nick continued to stare, fascinated by the vision of a very pregnant Tristan laying nude in the water. His interest was purely academic.

“You don’t have a belly-button!” he exclaimed. “Where did it go?” Nick began to call to AJ. “Look at this Aje! No belly-button!” He pointed at Tristan’s abdomen as if it belonged in a museum of medical oddities.

AJ stepped to side of the tub, lowered his glasses and peered at the skin covered-dome.

“Cool.…”

Much to their dismay, Tristan burst into tears.

“Fuck, man… Now look what you’ve done….”

“ME? You’re the one who….”

“PLEASE!” Tristan begged between sobs. “Get me out of here and find Kevin…”

Finally, ‘Dumb and Dumber’ seemed to realize the seriousness of the situation and the need for speed. AJ threw the towel across Tristan’s body and even though it immediately became soaked, except for the portion which covered her stomach, at least some sense of modesty was returned to her. He placed his hands under her arms from behind while Nick lifted her legs and, together, they managed to get Tristan out of the tub without too much difficulty.

“God, you saw my ass…” Tristan cried collapsing against the wiry misfit who still supported her from behind.

“Aww, I wouldn’t worry about that, baby… I already saw it in Sweden last time you were pregnant, remember? Maybe someday you’ll give me a peek when you’re not expectin’…”

For some reason, his offhand remark seemed to calm her. Nick pulled a terry robe from a hook on the door and wrapped it around her, thinking – but having the good sense not to mention – that her ass was not all that they had seen…. Soon another contraction began to build and Tristan leaned forward against Nick for support.

“You have to find Kevin…” she panted. “He’s not answering his cell… And I have to go to the hospital…”

“Okay, Tris… Don’t worry – we’ll find him,” AJ reassured her. “Now, come on, Mom. Nick can drive you to the hospital…” AJ amended his comment when a look of sheer terror crossed Nick’s face and he began shaking his head violently unbeknownst to Tristan who still clung to him. “Uh… On second thought, I’ll drive and Nick can look for Kevin…”

“The babies…” Tristan whimpered against Nick’s jacket.

“Oh, yeah… Well, I’ll take you to the hospital, Nick can stay here with the twins and call Howie to find Kevin. How’s that?”

The plan seemed to placate Tristan and she nodded against Nick’s chest between shallow breaths. She tried to work through her pain with a minimum amount of groaning and after a few minutes, the contraction eased enough for her to stand on her own.

“Call Dr. Malone, Nick,” Tristan instructed as AJ helped her across the room. “And then call Howie. He has to find Kevin…”

*****

Dr. Malone and AJ were standing outside of Tristan’s birthing room when Kevin, with Howie trailing behind, came barreling down the hall towards them. A glance at his face and demeanor was all it took for them to realize that Kevin was wired. He was practically babbling and his pupils almost obliterated the green of his irises. His attitude was also less than desirable and Dr. Malone realized then and there why Tristan had seemed subdued during recent visits. He reflexively shook his head in admonishment tempered with sadness.

“Where is she? Why the hell aren’t you in there with her?”, Kevin shouted, flailing his arms.

“Why the hell aren’t you?” Dr Malone shot back accusingly.

His question gave Kevin pause and he hesitated, glancing towards AJ. AJ had to look away.

Kevin jerked his head back towards Malone. “Is she alright? What the hell happened? I was only away for a few hours.”

“She wants you…”, the doctor frowned. “And I suspect she’s been in labor most of the day. Back labor, according to what she’s said…. By the time Mr. McLean got her here, she was already eight centimeters dilated.”

Kevin began to pull off his jacket. “Well, let’s go!” He had turned to push open the door when Dr. Malone grabbed his sleeve. “You’re wired, Kevin!”, he spat. “ I shouldn’t even let you in there! I wouldn’t if Tristan wasn’t near hysterics…”

“I’m fine!” Kevin hissed back defensively. “Now let me in there…”

“You’d better be fine, Kevin. I mean that…”

Within the hour, Kevin and Tristan became the parents of a blond-haired baby girl with violet tinged eyes – Rachel Littrell Richardson.

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