Tristan Trilogy- Story 3

CHAPTER 85

"What do you mean 'she locked the door'?" Brian asked incredulously. "I can't believe that these rooms even have locks on the inside! What kind of place…"

"Mr. Littrell." The doctor interrupted, "authorized personnel can easily get into Kevin's room. The lock is just a small trust-inducing device and that's all. Every door here has a programmed key-pad outside. We have had many celebrities here and we've had many ….well…swarthy types try to get to them. The locks let the patient feel that he or she still has some amount of control as well as prohibit unsavory types from barging in with cameras. I'm sure you don't want to see a picture of Mr. Richardson in his current condition on the cover of some supermarket tabloid."

Brian backed down when confronted with the obvious explanation.

"How will we be able to get in to see him?" Jerald asked. "We don't have the code. Do we have to wait for you?"

"You won't be going in there." The doctor stated firmly. "They will be left alone until Mrs. Richardson…….um……Tristan comes out or buzzes us to come inside." The doctor explained the two-way mirror. "We can observe the situation from there."

**************

"Kevin…" Tristan called softly.

The room was dim and quiet but she could feel him in here. The familiar intensity of his gaze washed over her and she was swept back to a time when their connection to each other seemed indestructible and their passion had real weight and substance, more like a physical object than an emotion. Tristan's eyes slowly adjusted to the dimness. It was still quiet but after a moment she could hear rasping, open-mouthed breaths coming from the direction of the bed.

"Kevin?"

Tristan's eyes darted around the room. She couldn't seem to target the sounds. Finally, he spoke. His voice was flat and lifeless.

"Why did you come?"

When Tristan walked to the other side of the hospital bed, her stomach turned over. Kevin sat on the floor against the wall, wedged between the bed and nightstand. His elbows rested on his drawn up knees and he held his head in his hands. Although he had watched her come in, he wouldn't look at her now.

"I want you to get well, Kevin…" Tristan whispered.

Kevin's shoulders began to shake as he laughed ruefully. It was a weak and defeated sound - almost a gurgle. He still wouldn't look at her as he responded to her answer.

"Why?…What the fuck do you care?"

Kevin's question masked a pitiful plea. Even after all these months filled with venom and cruelty, he wanted desperately to believe that she still did care about him. Tristan got down on her knees in front of him and reached out to touch Kevin's arm. She wanted to look into his eyes but Kevin wouldn't lift his face. When her fingers brushed against his arm, he practically cowered. He moved his body sideways and pressed the side of his head against the wall, hiding his face in his hands. It was a struggle for Tristan not to break down. She regathered her courage and took a breath.

"Your children need you Kevin. They want their Daddy…"

Her comment triggered and emotional response from Kevin. The bitterness in his voice bit into her heart.

"You took my babies…" he hissed. "You left your husband and took them away from their father…”

Kevin was shaking now. It was odd to hear him speak of himself in the third person as if he were talking about someone else but, in reality, he was speaking of someone else. The strung out Kevin Richardson that sat on the floor in front of her was not the Kevin Richardson whom she had married and who had fathered her children. Tristan tried to concentrate. She felt that she was going to have to read and talk between a lot of lines in order to understand Kevin and communicate with him.

"I didn't take them away from their father, Kevin and I didn't leave my husband. I took them away from a stranger and I left a man that I didn't know…"

Kevin finally dropped his hands and looked into her face, accusing her. "Then tell me Tristan…. Who the fuck did you divorce?"

Tristan wasn't sure how to answer that question. She often wondered that herself. Kevin's eyes were hard and dark and Tristan decided to follow his lead by responding using the third person.

"I divorced that man that I didn't know - the one who was killing himself and his family, too. I was afraid of him." Tristan took a breath. "I still am.." She searched Kevin's face hoping to recognize some germ of understanding in what she was trying to say. "I had to divorce him. It was the only way I knew to protect everyone."

Kevin became agitated and upset with her response and began rocking back and forth. He was fighting for air as if he couldn't catch his breath. He struggled for words. He was cracking.

"You didn't just divorce him!" Kevin screamed trying to fight the sobs that were building in his chest. He was pounding at his heart. "You divorced ME! You divorced ME, Tris…."

Kevin squeezed his eyes closed and let his head fall against the wall. He was thin and looked haggard as he fought to control himself.

"And who are you?' Tris gently coaxed.

A tear fell from the corner of his eye and slid down his cheek.

"I'm your husband." He whispered. "I'm your husband, Tristan…"

Finally a cascade of tears erupted and poured down Kevin's face. He had been surprised when Tristan took the children and left but he had refused to cry and chose to be angry instead. When the divorce papers were served he had felt physical pain but wouldn't show his misery. The devastation he had felt then was surfacing at last and he cried tears of pain, regret, sorrow and loneliness. Kevin felt afraid, lost and alone.

He gasped when he felt her soothing fingers against his cheek, brushing away his tears. It was a losing battle as the tears she gently erased were quickly replaced with fresh ones.

"Oh my darling.." Tristan murmured. "I never divorced my husband - not emotionally. He's been in my heart every day. I couldn't divorce him. I love him…"

Kevin quieted, slowly opening his eyes but he didn't look at her. He stared straight ahead as if he were trying to visualize the words Tristan had spoken words he had hungered for - words that he never expected to hear again.

"What did you say?" It only takes three, Kev… Just three…

Tears now began to flow down Tristan's face, too. In all of these months, no one had asked her if she still loved Kevin or how she felt about him at all. Assumptions had been made based on things people had seen from the outside - the cocaine addiction, her leaving and taking the children and the manipulation of his assets. That made it easy for everyone else to believe that she hated him - that he had ruined her life and that she never wanted to see him again. Easy but untrue…

"Come on, Kevin.. Let's get up.."

"I'm so tired, Tris…"

"I know, sweetie. Come on…"

Tristan got up from her knees and bent over to help pull Kevin into a standing position. He was weak and let her guide him over to the edge of the bed but he never took his eyes off of her, staring at her as if she were a ghost - a wisp of smoke that would disappear if he closed his eyes. Kevin fumbled with the buttons on his shirt but his fingers wouldn't cooperate with his efforts. Tristan leaned over and moved her hands down the placket. He never felt the buttons unfasten before she pushed the shirt from his shoulders and laid it on a nearby chair. He shivered when her hands began to push the waistband down on his sweats, savoring her touch. His heart was still racing and his body still rocked demanding it's fix. Tristan saw this, too, and wondered if the physical and emotional comfort she could offer would be enough to compensate for his chemical cravings. The doctor had told her that the first forty-eight hours were the worst. He'd already gone twelve.

Tristan pulled the sweats over his bare feet and helped Kevin lower himself onto the bed. He still shivered after she covered him with the sheet so she stepped to the end of the bed and shook out the light blanket that lay folded there. When she turned back to Kevin, he was still staring and she noticed that he had moved to the edge of the single bed.

"Will you take your hair down for me?" he asked hesitantly. His brows were furrowed. The request had been difficult for him to make.

Tristan smiled gently and removed the pins from her hair and it tumbled down, almost to her waist. When she brought the blanket up over his shoulders, Kevin smelled honeysuckle. He grabbed a length of her hair and held it to his face.

"It's gotten so long…" he whispered.

Tristan smiled. "Too long. I'm too old for this much hair…"

Her casual remark seem to upset Kevin and he shook his head back and forth against the pillow.

"No…no.. Not too long.." He began to twist his hand in her hair and pull. "Don't cut it! Please, Tristan. Don't cut off your hair again! Please…"

"Okay, Kevin… Okay, I won't… It's all right.." She combed her fingers through his hair, trying to calm him. "Please go to sleep for a little while. You're so tired."

Kevin grabbed on to Tristan's wrist. "You'll leave when I fall asleep, won't you, Tris! You and my babies will disappear again! You'll sneak away…"

Kevin's teeth clenched and his eyes got hard again. Despite his weakened condition, his hold on her was painfully tight. The terrifying paranoia that came with withdrawal was setting in.

"I'll stay with you while you sleep, Kevin.." She paused before continuing, remembering the mirror outside of his door. "Do you want me to lay down with you?"

Kevin looked confused and began to chew on his tongue. Then he nodded and let go of her wrist. Tristan stepped to the other side of the bed and began to remove her clothes. Kevin's eyes were still on her, his face tight with concentration. It had been so long since she had exposed herself to him in this way. When she had gotten down to her underwear, she stopped and looked at him, unsure of how far to go. Kevin's eyes moved from her body back to her face and he gave her a slight nod, encouraging her to continue. Tristan sighed, unfastened her bra and moved the straps from her shoulders.

Kevin had closed his eyes and was fighting the tremors that once again swept over his body as Tristan slipped into the bed beside him and gently wrapped her arm around his head, bringing him close to her. Again, his face was wet with tears as he leaned into her and allowed her to hold him while she stroked his hair and murmured to him. He was asleep almost immediately and Tristan, emotionally drained, soon slept, too.

She stirred a few hours later when she felt Kevin inching down her body. His hands were on her backside, pressing her groin against his abdomen and his face was moving across her breasts, searching in his sleep for his comfort. He was disoriented and frowned in frustration when he couldn't seem to find what he sought and his burrowing grew more urgent. Tristan stroked his back with one hand and then lifted her breast with the other and guided her nipple to his lips. Kevin's mouth clamped down on her and his teeth pressed into the tender flesh. Tristan winced and then felt him relax as he began his tender suckling. Then she pulled the blanket back up over them and pushed the pillow behind her shoulders with her free arm, elevating herself slightly so that she could better cradle Kevin's head against her breast.

Tristan lay, not moving, for some time before she drifted back to sleep, hoping that these moments between them had been private. Unfortunately, they had not been.

**************************

After AJ had cooled off, he came back into the clinic and made his way towards the solarium. He saw the doctor standing by the door to Kevin's room and then watched as he opened a panel and stood with his arms crossed as if he were studying the wall. When AJ got closer he could see what looked like a pane of glass in the wall and he stopped and looked past the doctor through the window. The doctor glanced at him briefly. AJ had been instrumental in bringing Tristan here and the doctor sensed that AJ was a good friend to both her and Kevin despite the fact that he admitted that he hadn't had contact with Tristan in a long time. Of the entire group that had been keeping vigil, Mr. McLean seemed to be the most rational and fair during this emotionally charged time.

Kevin's family had been almost inconsolable and his cousin was volatile and unforgiving. The doctor didn't quite know what to make of the couple, Nick and Holly. With the information that AJ had given him, he guessed that Nick was having a particularly hard time with this. Whereas AJ could view Kevin and Tristan as two individuals, Nick had difficulty separating them. The breakup of their marriage had affected him personally and profoundly. He was torn between the man whom he trusted and had practically raised him and the woman who had given him respect and compassion. Even AJ had commented that, for Nick, it was like a child of divorce having to choose between two parents. This conflict had been passed on to his wife, Holly. They were both a mess, even after all these months. Of course, watching Kevin deteriorate before their eyes had been painful for everyone, yet they knew that Kevin would have to hit bottom before he could begin to truly recover. He had hit bottom yesterday.

AJ looked through the glass and was immediately both glad and sorry that he did. He was glad because Kevin looked peaceful at last, asleep in Tristan's arms. He was sorry because their privacy had been invaded and he was one of the invaders. He saw Kevin's face pressed against Tristan's breast and knew that Kevin would feel violated and betrayed if he thought that anyone had witnessed this intimacy between them. If anyone else had been in there with Kevin, AJ would have thought little about it. He had walked in on Kevin before, in the early days of one night stands and meaningless sexual encounters, but AJ knew that this embrace was neither sexual nor meaningless.

When AJ averted his eyes and dropped his head, he heard the shuffling of chairs in the solarium. They had all seen AJ at the window and now, with the exception of Anne, rushed forward to see for themselves what was happening on the other side of the mirror. AJ's hand suddenly shot out like a cop directing traffic, signaling them to stop. The five bodies stumbled to a halt, instinctively obeying his command. Then the protests began.

"What's going on in there, AJ?" Jerald asked. "I want to see my brother…"

"Yeah, AJ! Move out of the way!" Brian fussed.

AJ looked at the doctor with a silent plea. The doctor nodded and closed the panel.

"What's wrong?" Jerald shouted angrily. "We have a right!"

AJ looked past the group to Anne who was now standing and watching by the solarium entrance.

"They're fine.." he said to her directly. "But I don't think they'd appreciate being gawked at…"

Anne understood AJ's implication and walked over to the group which magically parted to let her through. She stood in front of AJ and searched his face.

"Everything's okay, Alex?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, Mrs. R. Everything's okay. Kevin's asleep."

The group mumbled, nodded and went back to their seats. AJ could see that he had his work cut out for him. Although he was not Kevin's blood, he was bound and determined to see to it that neither his nor Tristan's privacy was violated.

*****************

They lay facing each other, sharing a pillow.

"How do you feel, Kevin? Any better?"

"Not great…" he smiled. He was still shivering sporadically, but his temperament had improved. He was no longer angry, paranoid or frightened. Just sad…

"You look better…"

Tristan brushed his cheek in a gesture that had been almost unconscious when they had been married. Kevin closed his eyes for a moment, taking pleasure in the feel of her fingers. When he opened them, his expression was serious. He hated to ask but he had to. His throat tightened and he was forced to whisper.

"Are you leaving again, Tristan?"

Tristan tried very hard to stay unemotional but she found that she, too, was forced to whisper her reply. "Yes…."

Kevin rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling. Tristan could see his chin tremble as he once again fought for control.

"Was it so bad, Tristan? Our marriage?"

"No, no, Kevin. We had a good marriage, right up until…well…the end."

They were silent for a few moments. Kevin still lay on his back now taking in great gulps of air, trying desperately to steady himself while Tristan moved herself closer and put her head in the crook of his neck and rubbed his stomach, trying to calm him. He leaned his head against her temple and kissed her gently. This act of tenderness broke Tristan's defenses and she began to cry into Kevin's neck - not gentle, tired tears but gut wrenching sobs as she finally let herself mourn the loss of what they had shared in the past. Kevin now became the comforter and began to murmur to her as his mouth pressed against the top of her head. When she was not soothed, he drew her up and planted kisses down the side of her face and on her eyes, tasting her salty tears. Kevin's lips moved down her cheeks to the corner of her mouth. Without thinking he brushed his lips across hers.

Tristan gasped and opened her eyes, staring into Kevin's.

"I've missed you, Tris… I've missed you so much…"

Kevin dropped his mouth to hers and the nuggets of love, passion and desire that they had both learned to suppress so well were at last freed from their hiding place. They had stopped thinking, rationalizing, blaming and analyzing and just let their inner longings play themselves out.

Their mouths opened against each other and their tongues reunited with a slick and delicious friction that made them both hunger for more. Kevin pressed harder and forced his tongue deeper into Tristan's throat capturing the vibrations of the moan that she released there. The sound of her pleasure gave him unfathomable joy. There had been so many nights that he had dreamt of her this way, so many hours spent making love to her in his imagination. He pushed himself against her thigh, relishing the hardness that had escaped him for so long. His need to taste her was overcome by his need to be inside her and he moved himself down her body and tugged at her panties, pulling them over her hips and to the floor. He felt feverish as he pushed his boxers down his legs and kicked them off and when he looked at her again, she was staring at him, her chest heaving…her nipples hard.

Kevin laid himself between her opened legs and stroked the inside of her thighs before bringing his fingers to her folds. She was so wet and ready for him that Kevin felt almost lightheaded.

"Jesus, Tris…" he moaned as his head fell back into her neck and he felt her arms wrap around his shoulders and play down his back.

He would know soon how Tristan felt about him, if she still felt that connection and passion that surpasses release. He would know when he watched her face. He would know if he could break down her defenses and banish her fears. He held her head in his hands as he had done countless times in the past, forcing her to look at him. Then he began to press himself against her opening and slowly began to enter her, losing himself in the unexcelled sensations her heat created around him. Tristan stiffened for a moment as his penetration continued and he stopped, his eyes speaking to hers, questioning her hesitation. For a brief moment he was afraid.

"It's been a very long time, Kevin…" she whispered. "Fill me slowly, darling…"

Kevin's relief was almost palatable. He wouldn't have been able to bear it if she had pushed him away. He continued his slow progression until he could move no more and then he laid himself on top of her waiting for her signal to move again. The sheer pressure of her around him would have been enough to make him cum. He groaned into Tristan's neck as he felt her walls pressing against him, filling every curve of his shaft and grasping at every ridge and plane. Then she moaned softly and her hips rose. Kevin raised himself and began a rhythm. When he was sure that he wouldn't hurt her, his thrusts became faster and more forceful. He knew that he would only be able to give Tristan one orgasm tonight and he was determined that she remember it. When he felt her spasms begin, he slowed, marveling at his own self-control. Tristan whimpered and pulled at his neck and hair, urging him on, but Kevin waited. He repeated this twice more and then he heard her crying out for him, the inside of her clenching at him, demanding release. He moved on her again. Her back suddenly arched, her arms fell from his shoulders, leaving behind telltale scratches, and her eyes glazed over dilated pupils. Watching her whisper his name sent Kevin over the edge. He groaned loudly, pushed into her one last time and exploded. The euphoria he felt was beyond description or explanation and lingered in his loins and in his heart for a long time.

They didn't speak but lay against each other, bathed in perspiration and tears until they slept once more.

*************************

Tristan awoke to find herself completely wrapped in Kevin. He still slept and that was good. He needed to. She carefully extricated herself from his embrace after stealing one more gentle kiss from his lips and then she dressed quietly. It was time for her to leave. She stopped when she reached the door remembering one last comfort. Reaching into her bag, Tristan pulled out the worn remains of the pink camisole and left it where she had lain beside Kevin. Then, wiping away a tear, she unlatched the door, opened it and walked out.

The group was still there, determined to wait out Kevin's forty-eight hours. Anne, Holly , Brian and Tim were asleep in chairs. Nick, AJ and Jerald stood at various points in the hallway, almost seeming to ignore each other.

Nick spotted her first.

"Tris…?" He took a step towards her and then hesitated.

AJ and Jerald spun around when Nick called to her and Tristan felt AJ's eyes lock onto her. They were watching her expectantly. Her clothes were mussed and he hair now hung down loosely but they all knew in their gut that Tristan wouldn't discuss what had happened behind the latched door with Kevin. She began to walk away.

"Can I call you, Tris?" AJ asked, sensing the answer before she spoke it.

Tristan stopped and turned to face them again. "Not right away AJ. Maybe in a few weeks…okay?"

"Sure, babydoll." He smiled. "I understand."

Tristan looked at AJ seriously. "Yes, AJ. I know that you do understand. Everything. And I thank you for that…"

Then Tristan's eyes fell to Nick. He was rocking and chewing his lip. His eyes were wet. He's in so much pain… She gave him a smile and spoke to him with tenderness and affection.

"It's okay Nick…"

"No, Tris - it isn't…"

Tristan interrupted before Nick lost control. "But it is, Nick. Nobody did anything wrong. Really. It's okay.." Tristan paused before adding, "Tell Holly that, too. Okay?"

Tristan turned then and walked away, her steps echoing once again on the terrazzo. When she left, she had given Kevin comfort and hope. He had given her his fourth child.

CHAPTER 86

Henry Keeve was walking across his field en route to the family plot when he heard his name being screamed from the back porch of his home. It was Izola, his wife of more than fifty years. He stopped to perform his ritual head shake and mumble when he heard Izzy screaming for him.

"Lord have mercy.." he fussed. "Why that woman hasn't had a heart attack yet, I don't know…"

Henry turned and headed back to the house, deliberately taking his time despite Izzy's panicked tones. Hardly a day had passed in their fifty plus years that Izola Keeve hadn't gotten herself all wrung up about something. When he crossed the line from screaming distance into the shouting zone, Izzy started flapping a dishtowel at him, thoroughly annoyed that he had been so slow to answer her call.

"Henry Leon Keeve! Didn't you hear me callin' for you?"

"Lord, Izzy… I hear you callin' me in my sleep! What in this world are you all blowed up about now? All out of TV Guides at the Tri-Star? Post office didn't have any more of them stamps you like with them birds on 'em?"

"Don't you be sassin' me now, Henry! We got us a crisis, here! Sook just called me! We gotta get her to the hospital! Her time's come and she's by herself. You gotta drive her while I take care of them kids!"

Henry gulped and his eyes got wide.

"It ain't Sook's time yet! She got three mo' weeks don't she? Lord, Izzy… I can't drive no screamin' woman to no hospital! I thought she was suppose to call pastor if somethin' happened! Lord, Izzy! I…"

"Look, Henry! I don't want to have this talk with you right now. The longer you stand here babblin', the harder little Sook's gonna be screamin'! Now here!" Izola threw Henry a metal ring full of keys. "You go start up that Chevy and meet me at the front door. We gotta get ourselves to Horsehead!"

Henry and Izola Keeve had known Tristan since she was a little girl. Henry had worked for Edward Mallory at White Fences as a handyman, gardener and errand runner. Although she had been extremely shy, Tristan had taken to Henry and he to her. When Mr. Mallory was away, he used to take Tristan home with him for lunch and Izola would sit her down at the table, feed her and entertain her with stories and gossip about the locals. Tristan didn't really know any of the people that Izola talked about but that didn't matter. The older, black couple had shown her kindness and affection and Tristan drank it up in huge swallows.

Henry used to fish crab pots in his spare time and on one visit, Izola was about to steam some crabs when Henry ushered Tristan into the back door. Henry and Izola had laughed at her fascination and disgust and that was when Henry had given her a nickname - 'Sook' - a word which designated a female crab.

She had remained shy with them, despite their attempts to make her feel at ease. Anyone with half a brain could easily see that Tristan's life was lonely and demanding and it broke Henry and Izola's hearts to watch her during her brief visits. When Edward found out that Henry had taken his daughter home on occasion, he hit the roof and threatened to fire the faithful employee. Henry wasn't crazy about Edward Mallory anyway and his meanness and arrogance merely added weight to his dislike of the man. He ignored Edward's threats and continued to sneak Tristan home with him, although less often. The day came, however, when Edward learned of Henry's continued defiance and he was fired. Henry was fired and Tristan was punished. She was forced to spend an entire night under the front porch, gated in on either side without so much as a blanket. It was summertime, but still got chilly at night and the bare earth crawled with bugs, slugs and the occasional rodent. She had been let out in time to get breakfast started. She had been eleven years old at the time.

When Tristan left home and began to make money of her own, she made sure that Henry and Izola were taken care of. She spent time with them when she could and occasionally sent them gifts and recordings. When she had been forced to leave Kevin, she had moved back to Lancaster County at first. Henry and Izola were sorry about Tristan's marriage but delighted to have Sook and her three children nearby. Tristan never discussed Kevin with them but they, of course, knew who he was and had heard all of the gossip and innuendo that had followed the couple over the past several years. They didn't push Tristan but Izola could read Tristan's heart and knew that she loved this man despite the fact that she'd had to move two more times to escape his harsh contact. After Lancaster County, Tristan had taken the children to the Blue Ridge Mountains, not far from the Kentucky line. When that hadn't worked out, she had moved again, this time to Northumberland County which was north of Lancaster. That's where she was living when she discovered that she was pregnant and that's where she still was, now awaiting the birth of her fourth child. In a moment of weakness, Tristan had told Izola who the father of this baby was and that she hadn't told Kevin that she was pregnant. Izola had relayed this information to Henry who had mixed feelings about the entire matter. There must have been a good reason for her to have left him but he was the father and had a right to know about his own child. Only one other person knew about Kevin’s impending fatherhood and that was AJ who had continued to check up on Tristan surreptitiously.

*************

Tristan didn’t look too good. At her last doctor’s visit, four days ago, it had been discovered that this baby was in a breach position. The doctor had felt that since Tristan still had almost a month to go, chances were that the baby would turn itself without an attempt at manipulation. Tristan didn’t understand what had happened with this imminent birth. Four days ago she hadn’t even begun to dilate. She wasn’t surprised that her water hadn’t broken. It had never broken with the others, either. But she had passed the mucus plug with the others and that hadn’t happened this time. She also felt hot and feverish and tired. It was way to early in the labor process for her to be feeling tired. She still had a very long way to go. At this early stage, she should feel energized.

Tristan had tried very hard not to need Kevin but she had failed. She had heard from Anne that he seemed to be doing well. He was keeping a fairly low profile and although he and Tristan had not been together for almost two years now, with the exception of her visit to the clinic, there didn’t seem to be another important woman in his life. That was not to say that he hadn’t been photographed in the company of other women, just that there didn’t seem to be any particular favorite. But then, Kevin had always relished his privacy and guarded it well. When another contraction seized her she burst into tears, afraid, alone, sick, hurting and wishing with all her heart that things were different.

Thankfully, the children were playing calmly when Henry and Izola arrived. Ben ran to Henry and was immediately scooped up into the big man's arms.

"Mommy's got a tummy ache!" Ben said seriously. "She said that she would have to go to the hospital and that you and Miss Izzy would take care of us for a little while."

Mallory tugged at the hem of Henry's shirt while Izola checked on Rachel and Tristan.

"Mommy's face is all sweaty and…" Mallory looked around as if she didn't want anyone to hear what she was saying and the whispered, "….I heard her say Daddy's name… real low…"

Izola's determined purpose turned into real worry when she saw Tristan at the kitchen table. Rachel was sitting in a booster seat, happily eating soggy graham crackers but Tristan's head was on the table. She didn't appear to be having a contraction at the moment but she looked pale and clammy.

"Hi, Izola…." Tristan said softly.

She opened her eyes but did not raise for head from the table and her breathing seemed labored. Something was not right.

"Lordy, Sook honey… You look like you done died!"

"Thanks…" Tristan smiled feebly.

"Lemme feel that head of yours."

As soon as Izola's fingertips brushed against Tristan's forehead she knew that Tristan had a bad fever. She was burning up.

"Where's your thermometer?"

"I’m alright, Izola. Just a touch of the flu I think…"

"Where is it?" Izola demanded.

Tristan told her and Izola fumbled through a collection of digital, rectal and instant reading thermometers until she found a good old-fashioned glass and mercury one.

"How far apart are your pains?" she asked as she shook the mercury down to the bottom of the glass stick.

"Twenty minutes. I have plenty of time."

After three minutes, Izola tool a reading. She was worried about Tristan's lethargy. She became more than worried when she read the thermometer. Tristan was burning up. Her temperature read 103.9.

"HENRY!" Izola screamed from the kitchen. "Get Sook in the truck! Hurry up!"

The children began to wail when they saw Henry lift their mother and carry her out of the door. Henry became even more rattled.

"Maybe we should call the amalance…."

"Henry Keeve! You know it'll take the rescue squad a half-hour to get out here! Now, you want I should drive her or what?"

Henry looked at Tristan slumped up against the seat and then over at the three little ones, crying for their mother. Neither choice was a good one. When he hesitated, Izola seized the reins.

"Henry… You ain't judging no damn beauty contest! Get the lead out and give me the keys! You watch the kids and I'll take Sook. Call the hospital and tell 'em we're coming!"

Tristan raised her head from the seat.

"Mail the envelope, Henry…. The one on the desk. Mail it for me - please…"

*****

Henry herded the children back into the house and hurried over to the phone on Tristan’s desk. After he called the hospital, he sat for a moment to calm himself down before he tried to distract the children. He wondered if there was anyone else he should call. It was then that his eyes fell to the large manila envelope that lay on the corner of the desk. It was the only envelope there and Henry picked it up and examined it. It was tightly sealed. When he turned it over, he could see that Tristan had already affixed the necessary postage. Then he read the address. The envelope was to be mailed to Mr. Kevin Richardson.

Henry felt that he was in a little bit of a pickle. He absently tapped the envelope with his fingernails. Mommy said Daddy’s name…real low…. He is the father…. Mail if for me, Henry – please…. Henry opened a desk drawer and began to flip through Tristan’s address book. Although Tristan rarely mentioned Kevin, Henry was familiar with some of the other names in her book. AJ, Nick and Holly, Howie D. and Brian. Anne Richardson’s number was listed. Henry picked up the phone to call Kevin’s mother and then hesitated. These are all Kevin’s people… He went through the sparse list of names again and spotted another familiar one. Henry nodded and began to dial.

*****

Mason was trimming Jack’s hair when the phone rang. He and Jack had settled into a comfortable relationship over the past few years and he was thankful every day that he had Jack in his life. The last two years had been extremely difficult for Mason. Tristan had all but disappeared. He understood her reasons for going away but she had been gone for too long, now. The occasional notes he received from her were cautiously worded and usually contained a snapshot of the children – never one of herself. He wondered if she still played the piano. There had been no public appearances, no accepted invitations to galas or concerts. He knew that Kevin had gotten in way over his head with drugs and had spent time in rehab. Jack had told him about Tristan’s visit to see him after he had first been admitted to the clinic. Mason had so many unanswered questions. If he knew where she was, he would go to her and demand some answers. Her notes had been mailed from New York but Mason knew she wasn’t living there. She didn’t want to be found. Mason still had trouble thinking of Tristan and Kevin as divorced and avoided going places with Jack if the group would be there. He couldn’t bear to see Kevin with another woman. He suspected that the others felt the same way.

Mason put the scissors down and wiped his hands before he answered the phone. Jack sat patiently.

“Hello?…Who?”

Jack watched Mason close his eyes and listen quietly to the caller. After a few one syllable questions like “When?, Where? and How?” , Mason placed the phone gently into it’s cradle. He said nothing for several seconds. When he finally turned back to Jack, he looked quite pale and upset.

“Where’s Kevin?” he asked seriously.

“At the studio. They’re laying tracks.” Jack slid off of the stool. “Why?”

“I need to see him right away.” Mason offered no further explanations. He tucked in his shirt, went back to their bedroom and then hurried out of the door carrying a small bag.

Mason could hardly remember getting to the studio. The entire group was standing at the boards listening to a track when he burst into the room and fixed his glare on Kevin. Kevin hadn't seen Mason in a long time despite his relationship with their manager. He knew that Mason had been avoiding him and he could guess why. Kevin doubted that would ever change. Mason's loyalties were definitely with Tristan, as they should be, but he also knew that Mason hadn't had much contact with Tristan, either. She had made sure that Kevin had opportunities to spend time with their children and he was grateful for that but he wanted to see her. Hazy memories weren't enough and yet he dare not ask for or expect more. Kevin found it impossible to file Tristan away into his past. He stared at Mason expectantly. Obviously, Mason had come to see him. There would be no reason for him to see him unless he had something to say about his Tris.

AJ moved back to a corner and waited. He had never told anyone about Tristan's pregnancy and the guilt about keeping such a secret had torn him up. There had been dozens of times he had wanted to tell Kevin, especially after he began to fight his demons and heal. AJ knew that Kevin struggled with his regrets every day even though his demeanor remained stoic. He missed his children terribly and had all but given up dreams of having Tristan again. He didn't talk about it but AJ knew, as did the others, that Kevin had a broken heart. Now AJ prayed that Mason hadn't arrived with bad news. He would never forgive himself if something happened to Tristan before Kevin could have one more chance to reclaim her. He had been working so hard….

"I need to talk to you, Kevin."

Mason looked and sounded odd and that scared Kevin badly.

"So, talk." Kevin answered cautiously. He felt a bead of sweat trickle down his chest even in the air-conditioned studio.

"It's a private matter."

"I didn't know we had anymore private matters, Mason."

Kevin had spoken softly. He wasn't being mean or sarcastic. He swallowed and Mason could see that Kevin was afraid.

"It’s about Tristan."

"Tristan?" Kevin whispered. He hadn’t said her name out loud in a long time.

Mason didn't try to be delicate. There was no time. He had already called the airport from his car and booked two seats on the next flight to Richmond.

"We need to get to Virginia, Kevin. Tristan is sick and she's in the hospital. She's also in labor with your baby - the one she conceived when she visited you in rehab."

Mason actually felt sorry for Kevin when he broke down and cried. He had spent a number of years taking care of Tristan. That duty had all but ended when she and Kevin announced their marriage so many years ago. Now he felt as if he were being called back into service but not to look after Tristan. Mason would have to look after Kevin now.

***************

"I can't believe she actually fucked him when he was in that clinic!" Brian screamed.

He was about to continue expressing his moral indignation when AJ's fist flew through the air and caught Brian by surprise. Sheets of music and reels of tape toppled from the shelves that Brian fell into and when he regained enough sense to realize what had happened, AJ was straddling his chest and pulling his head up by his collar. Brian seemed to have lost his voice as blood trickled from his nose. He had never seen AJ look quite this crazy.

"Now you listen to me you God damned, short legged prick! I've been listening to your shit about Tristan for two fucking years and I'm not gonna listen to it any more! It's so much easier for you to lay all of Kevin's problems at Tris' feet, isn't, Brian? So fucking easy to blame the one who's not here. So easy to put it on someone else when I know for a God damn fact that if anyone other than Kevin himself deserves any motherfuckin' blame, it's YOU, Bible boy… Not Tristan for leaving, but you for supplying!"

“You’re nuts, AJ! Kevin got himself in a little trouble and Tristan took advantage! She stole everything he had and then walked…”

This time, the back of AJ’s hand connected with Brian’s face.

“SHUT UP, BRIAN! I ran into an old friend of yours over two fuckin’ years ago. A guy by the name of Bobby G. Does that ring any motherfuckin’ bells?” he screamed as he slapped Brian upside the head. “He asked me if I ‘needed’ anything. Said you could vouch for him. That you had even gotten stuff for your cousin! Poor Kevin was having some stress and you wanted to help him out! You kept on ‘helpin’ him, didn’t you Brian. You’re such a good cousin!”

Brian licked his lips and looked nervously to Howie and Nick for support. He didn’t find any. Nick looked haunted. His eyes were filling and he was pushing his tongue against the inside of his mouth.

“I stopped getting him stuff when I saw that he was using too much! I didn’t walk out on him! Tristan did!”

AJ slowly raised himself from Brian and stood over him, daring him to move.

“Yeah, Brian. Tristan walked. But it took her a while. It took her until Kevin beat the shit out her one night because she’d found his supply of nose candy and pills and was dumping them. She walked , but she didn’t walk from Kevin. She walked from somebody she didn’t know anymore while we sat on our thumbs and pretended that everything was okay. You’re guilty, Brian! You should have never gotten him any shit in the first place, you stupid hillbilly! Did you think Kevin would just stop because his shit wasn’t coming from you? Bobby G. knew who he was and was happy to stop your middle man crap. We’re all guilty to some degree. We haven’t been good to Kevin. We enabled him by looking the other way. We helped him crash and burn by ignoring him. As long as the show went on, we didn’y have to deal with his ‘problem’ did we? It’s so fuckin’ easy to blame Tris – to ignore her and cut her out. Out of sight, out of mind, right?” He looked over to Howie and Nick, smiling sadly. “So Tristan the bitch comes to the clinic. Why? Because Kevin needed her. Now Kevin is healthy again. Does he look fuckin’ happy to you? He goes through the motions, that’s all. Her shit is still hanging in his closet. Her clothes are still folded and put away in their bedroom. He’s still buyin’ those fuckin’ roses and bringing them home on a regular basis. Bringing them to Tristan's ghost. Her sheet music is still at the piano, opened up as if she was going to finish her practice any minute!” He turned back to Brian. “No B-Rok…. You’ve been pissed with Tristan because you can’t carry the weight that you deserve.” AJ picked up his hat and walked slowly to the door. “I suggest that you go home and get on you knees, Brian. You pray for forgiveness and you pray that Tristan will be alright. Then pray for those children and their Daddy – your cousin – our brother. I think we’ll all be joining you…”

Email Grace

"Circling" is a work of fiction.
The characters and events portrayed are fictitious.
Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.

Copyright ©2000
All Rights Reserved
No part of this text may be copied or reprinted
without the author's permission.

  Direct linking to stories on this site without permission is prohibited and considered copyright infringement

~BEST VIEWED ON 800 X 600 SCREEN RESOLUTION~

Fiction by Grace