CHAPTER 21

Tristan sat in the back of the bus playing poker with Kevin, Holly, Nick, AJ and Amanda. It wasn’t really a very distracting way to pass the time but they would be at the hotel in less than an hour. Everyone thought that they would have a few hours to themselves before sound checks began and they was anxious for those few hours to begin. Even AJ seemed humorless and passed up the obvious opportunity to suggest strip poker. Tristan folded early in the next hand. Her ‘money’ had dwindled away anyhow. They played with M&M’s. Red ones were valued at 100.00, green at 50.00 and brown’s were worth 10.00. Tristan had one green and three brown M&M’s left. If they had been playing strip poker, she would have been down to her hair clips by now. Holly seemed to be winning all the hands. She gleefully swept a large pile of candy into her paper cup and then had the audacity to eat 1,000.00, not blinking an eye.

“Have you checked for messages yet, Kevin?” Tristan asked digging into her tote bag. One of them called Orlando daily checking the answering machine for calls that needed to be returned or dealt with.

“No, not yet.” he answered, popping a 10.00 M&M into his mouth. Kevin had deliberately bypassed the red and green candies as if they had real value.

Tristan pulled her cell from her tote and called home. There were several messages but none of any importance. Friends and family knew that they were away and had their cell numbers. When she put the cell away, her hand touched a small wooden box at the bottom of the bag. She had almost forgotten about the last minute purchase she had made before leaving Orlando. She had wandered into a duty-free import shop at the airport where she had spotted the small box containing all the supplies needed for henna body painting. She had purchased the kit thinking that she might paint her wrist when the bandage came off. It would still be a little raw and a nice design around her wrist would help hide the redness. Tristan smiled and looked at Kevin. Maybe she would practice on him first....

**************

Lily sat in the front of the dancer’s bus staring out of the window. She was deep in thought. Okay, I made the call. Things are all set. Let’s hope that Miss Tristan calls home to get messages. Lily just wished she could be there to see the results. With luck, she would be. If Kevin got the message, she may have to try again. Obviously, neither he nor anyone else had informed Tristan of Lily’s ‘condition’. She rather enjoyed their misery, especially Kevin’s, but she wouldn’t be able to continue this for too much longer. She had been eating herself sick, and had managed to add a few pounds. A little fiberfill around the middle had given her a touch more girth and a little in her bra gave the illusion of slightly swollen breasts. She had to be careful, though. She didn’t want to overdo it.

She frowned when she remembered Tristan and Kevin’s dance at the club. She and Kevin had been to several clubs in the distant past but he had never danced with her like that. He had used her in Stockholm, ignored her in Orlando, screwed her in New York and then had the gall to try and get her released from her contract. She wanted him to hurt and hurt bad.

************

Kevin stared at Lily as she stood across the conference hall that was located on a lower level of the venue. They had arrived at their hotel at around two PM and grabbed something to eat. As it turned out, they would have little time to unwind. A press conference and sound check had followed, the latter of which had not gone well. They barely had time for dinner before they had to get ready for that night’s show. Caterers had set up tables in the conference room and were feeding everyone associated with the production. Amanda, Leighanne and Holly were there. Tristan had opted to stay at the hotel and take care of some business. She would meet Kevin before the show. Much to Kevin’s regret, Lily caught his stare and began walking towards him. She had kept some distance on this tour when Tristan had been around and he had been glad of that. He and Lily had things they had to settle - alone.

She was halfway across the room from where he stood when Holly noticed her approach. The problem still weighed heavily on everyone’s mind, but with Tristan around, they hadn’t really been able to discuss it much amongst themselves. Holly nudged Leighanne who looked up from her plate and followed Holly’s nod towards Kevin and Lily. Leighanne, in turn, tapped Amanda on the arm, drawing her attention to the potentially combustible situation. Holly decided to try for an interception and succeeded but she and Lily had connected only a few feet away from Kevin. She thought Kevin might take this opportunity to walk away but he stepped forward until he stood face to face with Lily. Thankfully, there was no one else close by. Amanda and Leighanne watched the threesome from several yards away.

“Where’s Bo Peep?” Lily asked caustically, ignoring Holly’s attempts to thwart the encounter. “I’d really like to have a heart to heart with her.” Lily sucked on the end of an eggroll , trying to appear seductive.

Kevin felt his blood pressure begin to rise. He didn’t want this viper anywhere near Tristan.

“I’m the one you need to talk to, Lily!” Kevin told her angrily. “You stay the hell away from Tristan!”

Lily laughed at his anger. “What do we need to talk about, Kevin? Want to start picking out baby names?” She paused to look around the room as if she were searching for someone. “I don’t see her, Kevvy. Are you trying to keep us apart or something?” Then she looked him straight in the eye. “When are you going to tell her, Kev? Are you waiting for me to do it?”

Kevin began clenching his fists. Holly noticed and became alarmed. They didn’t need an explosion in a public place. There were press and radio people around.

“Exactly what is it that you think Tris needs to know, Lily? You’ve been deliberately vague about all of this.”

Lily shook her head and smiled at him. “Poor, poor, Kevin! You may be great at denial, but you’re not stupid. “ She rubbed her stomach pointedly. “I think you should tell Tristan that you’re going to be a father in less than six months! I think you should tell her that you and I will always be connected! Tell her that when you fucked me three months ago I became pregnant with your child!”

Kevin was silent as an anguished look passed over his face. There it was. She had come out and said it. His hand went up to his face and he began to rub his forehead.

“What do you want. Lily?” Kevin asked her sadly and with resignation peppering his voice.

Holly was becoming upset, especially with Kevin’s sudden complacency. She began to look around the room, frantically searching for Nick. She couldn’t find him.

“I want you to own up to this and be responsible!” Lily spat back at him.

“You want me to marry you?”

Holly could stand no more of this. Surely Kevin would never consider such a thing. She refused to give Lily the chance to even answer Kevin’s absurd question.

“Who’s your doctor, Lily?” Holly asked boldly, praying for Kevin’s good sense to return. He was giving Lily too much control. He was acting defeated. “There are some of us who don’t believe you are pregnant so tell me! Who’s your O.B.?”

Lily crossed her arms and smirked at Holly. “You and all the other Backstreet bitches can dream on, Holly! My doctor’s name is Daniel Marcos. His office is in Orlando. Look it up!”

They were interrupted by a shout from the end of the room.

“Let’s go people! We’ve got a show to do! Let’s get ready!”

Lily twirled around and strutted away from Holly and Kevin, laughing. Holly stared at Kevin in disbelief. Her voice as shaking as she whispered to him.

“Please tell me that I didn’t just hear you propose to Lily....”

**************

Tristan had arrived at the venue. She spoke to a couple of the dancers as they were heading to their dressing rooms, complimenting them on their performances the night before. They had thanked her and asked about her upcoming concerts. Tristan noticed that they were polite but seemed slightly uncomfortable. They were almost acting like they didn’t want to talk to her. Tristan smiled and shook away her paranoia before resuming her search for Kevin.

She saw Kevin across the room with Holly and became puzzled. It looked as if Holly was angry with Kevin. She thought she saw Kevin wipe his face and then shake his head. In one corner of the large room, Amanda and Leighanne where involved in deep and seemingly serious conversation. When Tristan looked back at Holly and Kevin, she saw Nick approaching them. He bent his head down to Holly’s face and held her by the shoulders. She pointed to Kevin and Nick jerked his head to him. Kevin began to gesture impatiently as he spoke to them. Nick was rubbing Holly’s back as if he was trying to calm her and looking around the room as if for support. That’s when he spotted Tristan. Tristan saw him freeze and stare. A moment later, Kevin and Holly spun in her direction, facing her across the room.

“Tris!”

She heard Amanda call her name from the corner and she was momentarily distracted. When she looked back, Kevin was walking towards her. His smile seemed weak. Nick and Holly followed some distance behind, exchanging quiet comments.

“Hi, baby. Did you get your business taken care of?” Kevin asked her, pushing a piece of her hair behind one ear.

“What’s wrong with Holly?”

“Nothing....I think she’s just feeling ignored by Nick a little. That’s all.”

Kevin walked her towards the dressing room. He seemed a bit on edge and once again Tristan felt that she was outside of a tight circle. When they got to the door, Tristan stepped back and looked Kevin squarely in the face.

“What’s the matter, Kevin? Are you alright?”

“Sure, baby. I’m fine.” he said wrapping his arm around Tristan’s neck and pulling her head to his lips. “Where are you going to be tonight?” he asked, changing the subject.

“The usual place, I guess....”

“I’ll be looking for you then.” Kevin smiled and leaned down, giving her a small kiss.

“Kevin....”

“Gotta go, baby. I’ll see you after the show.”

Kevin squeezed her shoulder and turned to enter the dressing room.

*****************

Nick came into the dressing room not long after Kevin. He sat slouching in a chair staring at the oldest band member. Kevin was going to have to tell Tristan what was going on. He felt himself getting upset with Kevin but he wasn’t sure why. He certainly hadn’t liked the fact that Kevin had slept with Lily but that was water under the bridge. He had already made his feelings clear on that score. He guessed that he was angry for any number of reasons. He was angry because of the turmoil, because Holly was upset, because Tristan could be damaged again, and because Kevin hadn’t used a God damned condom. Most of all he was upset because he couldn’t honestly say what he would do if he found himself in Kevin’s position. Holly and Tristan were good friends and had similar feelings about a number of things but their emotional make-up was different. Maybe. Holly hadn’t had a breakdown and wasn’t as naive about things as Tristan was - or used to be. He knew in his soul that Holly loved him. He also knew that this frightened her sometimes, especially when she saw such havoc happening around them. She had been frightened by what Kevin had said to Lily because she saw the potential meltdown of two people who had worked hard to stay together and had overcome great odds to do so.

Nick could no longer imagine his life without Holly and it was only then that he could begin to understand Kevin’s torment. Holly was his comfort, his passion, his friend, his conscience and his love. He knew instinctively that Kevin, despite his volatile temper and previous lack of public affection, had tried desperately to make sure that Tristan always knew that he loved her and no other, no matter what. That may be the only thing that would get them through this. Nick vowed silently that he would make sure that Holly knew and believed in the feelings he had for her, too. Kevin had taught him not to take things for granted and Tristan had taught him not to make assumptions. Essentially, they were the same thing.

Nick was both delighted and dismayed to find that he needed Holly so much. She would have to know that. Nick needed to know that Holly felt the same way. Despite his youth, he was in many ways, an old man. He had been forced to grow up without the advantage of adolescent experiences to mold him. Because of this, his feelings ran much deeper than those of the average twenty year old. Although he was often playful and childlike, he wasn’t naive and was, in many ways, older than Holly. He wanted her to feel like she could lean on him. and realize that he had the strength to support her.

******************

The last half hour had unnerved Holly. Surely she had misunderstood the intention of Kevin’s question to Lily. Tristan had arrived at an inopportune time. Holly wasn’t even sure if she could talk to her. She felt like a lousy friend - a traitor. Kevin had said that he was going to talk to Tristan and Holly found herself trying to imagine their conversation. He was waiting, he said, until they had a couple of days off. Their down time would begin tomorrow, but Tristan’s first performance was the day after.

Holly still didn’t believe Lily. She was toying with Kevin and enjoying it. Holly didn’t know if she should say anything to Leighanne and Amanda about Kevin and Lily’s conversation. They would ask her, she knew, and then tell AJ and Brian about it. She decided that she would be making an unscheduled visit to Orlando. Kevin might feel resigned but she didn’t. Not yet.

**********************

The show had gone well, even though Kevin and Nick seemed to lack the energy they usually had. In fact, Tristan wondered if Kevin was feeling well. His glances towards her during the show had an almost pleading quality. She felt that he really needed these upcoming free days and wished now that she hadn’t committed herself to perform.

The business she had taken care of at the hotel had included a call to Mason who would be arriving the day before the performance. She had her music with her but he would be taking care of everything else, including her wardrobe. Tristan smiled briefly. She thought that wardrobe was Mason’s favorite chore. He selected and purchased her stage gowns, shoes - the works. He told her how she should wear her hair and do her make-up. The look he strove for was rarely traditional and she was anxious to see what he had selected for her this time around. More often than not, she found herself pounding out Rachmaninov or Bach in some skimpy little dress that showed her thigh when she patted the pedals of the piano. Mason had given her some news that pleased her but she was unsure of what Kevin’s reaction would be. Asa Whitmore had been invited to be the guest conductor at her first performance.

**********************

Kevin had been subdued after the show as well. Thankfully the ‘meet and greet’ had been short and everyone was able to go back to the hotel early. They had two days to relax. Most of the group had decided to go clubbing but Kevin wanted to stay in. “Not tonight.” he had told Howie when asked. Tristan had felt his caress on her backside when he had declined the invitation.

When they had gotten back to the hotel the door had hardly closed before Kevin was all over her. He liked to undress her and did so slowly, kissing and tasting parts of her body as they became exposed. This was not to be a playful coupling. Kevin’s intensity was palatable. His face against her thighs felt funny without the stubble she had grown used to but the touch of his smooth skin against her was delightful and she felt herself tremble in anticipation of what was to come.

Kevin was determined to savor this time with Tristan. He knew that he would have to tell her about Lily but right now - during these precious moments with her - he would try desperately to forget that and think only of the woman in his arms. They lay in the bed now, both naked and holding on to each other. He had tasted her wetness and encouraged her to orgasm with his tongue. Now, as he moved back up her body, he felt her reach down between them and stroke him gently, murmuring her love as she floated back to him. Kevin felt at that moment that Tristan’s hands on him were all he would ever need to feel happy and content. He moaned her name as she continued to touch him and her eyes opened to look at him. She smiled and ran her free hand across his face and lips. Kevin couldn’t return her smile. He was afraid.

Kevin moved to enter her slowly and watched as she let out a small gasp and closed her eyes again. Other men could give her affection, gifts, praise and even love but only he could give her Kevin Richardson. He prayed that would be enough. In the end, it was all he had. He felt his eyes fill as he poured himself into her.

CHAPTER 22

Kevin stared through the darkness at Tristan as she lay in his arms. Her hair, which had been damp a few hours ago, had dried forming soft waves that surrounded her face. One arm curled up between her breasts and rested on his chest. The other fell casually across his hips. She slept soundly but when he touched her face or bare shoulder, she would sigh or move slightly and he would feel her fingers play on his body. He whispered to her while she slept knowing that she would never hear his words and ached to put his mouth on her breast, close his eyes and shut down for a brief time. When he lifted her hand from his hip, his eyes caught the sparkle of the ruby ring and he remembered the day he had given it to her. Why had she been so surprised that he wanted to commit to her? Then he recalled the night she had thrown it back at him.

There would be no sleep for him tonight. Kevin brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her finger. He could feel the hard stones against his lips, Then he turned her hand and kissed her palm before laying in on the sheet that covered them from the waist down. Quietly, he slipped out of bed and opened the mini-bar. There was no Jack Daniels but, ironically, there were several small bottles of Kentucky Gentleman. He poured three of the bottles into a bathroom tumbler and sat in the upholstered chair near the bed. There he stayed and watched Tristan as he drank. The bourbon had the desired effect. By 4:30 he was asleep.

*******************************

Nick and Holly had spent a restless night, too. They had gone to a club with the crowd, but their hearts weren’t festive and they had come back to the hotel early. They ordered a pizza and found a movie on pay-per-view, but their banter was shallow, each of them reluctant to delve into the issues that were on their minds. Finally, Nick crossed over the gulf between them. He pulled Holly close and moved the pizza box that sat on their laps, Then he laid back against the pillows he had propped up on the bed and asked his question.

“Holly, if I was in the same position that Kevin is right now, what would you do?”

“I really hope you’re not trying to tell me something, Nick!”

Holly chuckled, wanting to diffuse the discomfort of Nick’s question. When she was met with silence, she realized that Nick required an answer from her. She also realized that the question had many layers that covered Nick’s true concerns. What he wanted to know was the degree of her commitment to him - to them.

“You’ve wondered what you would do - how you would react to my telling you that another woman was pregnant with my baby haven’t you?” he asked.

Holly hesitated for a moment. Of course she’d thought about it. They’d all thought about it.

“Yes. I’ve wondered how I would react - what I would do....”

“And?....”

Holly pulled herself and turned to look into Nick’s eyes. He was searching her face, trying to see into her heart.

“I don’t know if I could stand the betrayal,” she began.

Nick lowered his eyes and dropped his arm. This was not what he had hoped to hear.

“But,” she continued, if the circumstances were the same as Kevin and Tristan’s and I could get past the betrayal factor like Tristan seems to have done, I think I could work through it.”

Nick met her eyes again. They were wet.

“You would stay with me?” he asked quietly.

“Nick, are you asking me this because you want my feelings about Kevin and Tris or do you want to know my feelings for you?”

Nick sighed deeply. “Both, I guess. But honestly, Holly, I want to know - I need to know - how deeply your feelings go for me.” He offered her a weak smile. “I need to hear it.”

Holly took a deep breath. Until now, she felt that she and Nick had been swimming along happily. Now it was time to dive into the deep end of the pool. She wasn’t sure she was prepared to lay herself open like that. Nick and Tris were so much alike - open with their feelings and therefore open to extreme degrees of pain. She winced when she realized that she and Kevin shared more attributes than she’d care to admit. At least he had become more open in time. Now she had to bare her soul as well. Holly moved to the edge of the bed and looked away.

“Okay - you asked for it, so here goes.....When we first got to know each other, I felt we had the basis for a great friendship. Then I felt we could go beyond and and we did. I wasn’t looking for permanence or commitment - I just thought I would enjoy the ride for however long it lasted.” She heard Nick take a ragged breath and then turned to face him. “Don’t misunderstand, Nick. I had a genuine affection for you. I wanted to be with you...”

Nick looked away. Holly saw him wipe a tear from his cheek.

“I see.....”

Holly could see Nick’s hurt and confusion. She moved back to him and cupped his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her.

“No, baby. You don’t see. Let me finish. I thought that I loved you then. I [know] that I love you now.” Holly’s eyes filled and began to spill over. “It scares me to admit this, Nick. Decisions that I’ve made about my life and you haven’t been logical and I’ve gotten my share of criticism about our relationship”

Nick frowned. “Who....”

Holly smiled through her tears and placed her finger over his lips. “That doesn’t matter. I love you, Nickolas, with everything that I have, everything that I am. That scares the shit out of me sometimes, especially right now with everything going on around us, but it’s still a fact. You have my heart. That’s what I’m laying at your feet, Nick. Take it or leave it.”

Nick gazed into Holly’s expectant face and knew that this had been hard for her. It had been hard for him, too. He hadn’t wanted to ask, but he had to. Having someone in his life that he could both love and trust was a new experience for Nick Carter.

“I’ll take it, Holly.” he replied seriously, pulling her back to him.

He couldn’t remember ever feeling the combination of tenderness and pure joy that he felt at this moment. Holly wasn’t impressed with his career - she’d made that clear from their first meeting. She wasn’t trying to break into the business - she was already there. She didn’t need his money and wasn’t really crazy about his fame. The impossible had happened. He had found someone who loved him, not because he was Nick Backstreet but in spite of it.

“Holly?” Nick whispered as she nuzzled against his chest.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t ever leave me....”

“I don’t plan to, Nick.” she answered softly.

“Holly?”

“Yes, baby?”

How do you feel about us getting married?”

*******************

Kevin woke up before Tristan did only because he had gotten cold sitting in the chair. He longed to crawl back into bed with her. He looked at her, laying in the bed all alone, hair tousled. One breast was exposed, its rose colored nipple hardened from the chill of the room. Kevin rediscovered his need to attach himself to her and knew that she would welcome him with no judgements but he couldn’t go to her. Not today. He would have to tell her about Lily today.

The phone rang, breaking into his thoughts. It was AJ wanting to know if they wanted to join him and Amanda for breakfast.

“Tristan’s still asleep AJ.” he said, glancing at her again. She had begun to stir. “Call Nick.”

Nick and Holly weren’t going out for breakfast either. They wanted some time alone, but thought they would be free for lunch. Kevin agreed to meet them all later at a local restaurant. AJ would invite Brian and Leighanne to join them, too. He would talk to Tristan later this afternoon or this evening when he felt they would be safe from interruptions.

“Kevin, come back to bed...” Tristan’s eyes were on him when he turned to the sound of her sleepy voice. “Why are you up, anyway?” she yawned.

“It’s ten o’ clock, baby. That was AJ on the phone. He asked us to come to breakfast.” When she groaned her objection, he smiled and continued, “But I told him we’d meet them for lunch instead.”

“Good thinking!” Tristan pulled back the sheet and patted the mattress. “Now come on,” she ordered. “I’m cold....snuggle time...”

Kevin obediently crawled back into the bed and unthinkingly shifted into position so that Tristan could burrow into his chest which she did immediately. “Just for a little while..” he said to her, pulling up the bed covers over them. Their legs tangled automatically and their arms wrapped. Soon, they were both dozing again.

An hour later, Kevin jerked himself up and out of a bad dream. He was covered in sweat and panting. The dream had been one of those crazy and mixed up visions that was forgotten almost immediately. He could only grasp brief pieces of various images. Lily, Tristan and Holly were in his dream. All he remembered was that Lily was dressed in black and laughing, Tristan held on to a suitcase and was crying and Holly wore a robe, like a judge, and was scowling at him. It was simple and silly but had disturbed him greatly. Kevin sat for a moment to catch his breath and then untangled his legs from Tristan’s before going to take a shower. He felt like he hadn’t slept at all.

When Kevin and Tristan arrived at the restaurant, it was just past one PM and everyone else was already there. Tristan was relaxed and confident. Kevin looked like hell. Brian raised his eyebrows at him and glanced to Tris, a gesture which silently asked if Tristan knew anything yet. He had guessed not seeing that Tristan seemed to be in high spirits. Kevin shook his head slightly and Brian nodded in response. Others witnessed this exchange and attempted to increase the level of gaiety at the table. It was a knee-jerk reaction. People often tend to sooth or entertain someone who doesn’t yet realize that they’re headed for bad times - like the child who visits the doctor not knowing that they’ll be getting an injection.

They had placed their orders when another small group entered the restaurant and were seated nearby.

“Well, well, well...this looks like the place to be today.”

The usual restaurant clatter seemed to fade as Lily’s sultry voice floated over their table. Tristan froze but surprisingly, found herself more angry than upset. None of the guys stood or acknowledged her presence, but Lily didn’t leave. She refused to be ignored. Tristan didn’t look at her either. Once again she felt Kevin’s hand on her thigh.

“I guess they let anybody in here” Leighanne murmured. Brian licked her leg under the table, indicating that she was to stay out of any forthcoming confrontation. Leighanne promptly stomped his foot and glared at him in return.

She wouldn’t go away. “I’m just so hungry all the time!” she sighed, rubbing her belly. Kevin squirmed and shot her a look. “I just don’t know what I want to eat...” She shot a look back at Kevin. Tristan stared at her plate.

“I know something you can eat, Lily!” Amanda was starting to come out of her seat. She grabbed a menu and pretended to examine it. “Yeah...here it is. Shit. You can eat shit, Lily!” she said a little too loudly. AJ looked over his glasses at Lily and smiled.

Lily still stood. She wanted the last word and she was tired of everyone hovering over poor little Tristan. She’d made Kevin squirm. Now she thought she’d try to get some reaction from the spacey piano player.

“Aw, Kevvy...why did you get rid of that goatee! It made you look so edgy...”

Lily’s hand reached over to stroke the side of Kevin’s face. He wouldn’t look at her and when he realized that she was going to touch him, his hand shot up to stop her. He was too late. Not because Lily completed her pass but because Tristan’s hand was already there. Tristan’s fingers curled around Lily’s wrist and she gave her a shove backwards. Lily was momentarily nonplussed but she recovered quickly.

“Well, Tristan! You seem a little insecure! All I did was ask why Kevvy decided to shave!”

Tristan settled herself back down an smiled demurely. “Not that it’s any of your business, Lily, but I asked Kevin to shave.”

The table glanced at Tristan, surprised that she was talking and puzzled about her statement. Tristan hadn’t asked Kevin to change anything about himself.

“Oh?” Lily chuckled sarcastically. “What’s the matter? Was he starting to bore you, darling? New look, new man?”

“Oh no..” Tristan laughed loudly, unfolding her napkin. “Nothing that complicated Lily.” Then Tristan stopped and looked Lily squarely in the face. “I asked Kevin to get rid of the goatee because it was chafing my inner thighs...”

The table suddenly experienced a mass reaction. Brian spit a piece of ice out of his mouth and began to choke.

“Jesus Christ!” he shouted, looking towards Kevin.

Kevin shrugged his shoulders casually. Despite the situation, he had to smile. Leighanne glared at Brian. Holly covered her face with her hands. She made no noise, but her shoulders were moving up and down. Amanda gasped in mock indignation, very impressed by Tristan’s comeback and AJ let loose his proverbial cackle. Nick held a menu under his eyes and looked at Kevin, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. Tristan still gazed quietly at Lily whose mouth hung open a little. At last she had been struck dumb, if only temporarily. Lily did an about face and marched to her table with no further comment. She hadn’t gotten the last word after all. That honor ended up in AJ’s lap when he leaned over to Kevin and asked him if he planned on having hair pie for desert. Kevin had told him to shut the fuck up and AJ had laughed.

*********************

The group had decided to do a little shopping on the way back to the hotel. The guys all separated except for Kevin, who seemed to stay up Tristan’s rear end all day. She finally had to insist that he leave. The girls couldn’t talk with him around. He looked a little embarrassed and then sulked saying he would meet her at the hotel.

“How long are you going to be?” he asked irritably.

Tristan was surprised at his irritation. “Are you mad with me, Kevin?”

Kevin didn’t understand. He just wanted her with him. He needed to tell her about Lily. He wanted it over with. He wanted to move on. God, he just wanted to take her back to Kentucky, bolt the doors and build cradles. Lots of cradles.

Kevin shook himself back to reality. “What?”

“Are you mad with me? For what I said at the restaurant?” Tristan was chewing on her lip as if she expected a scolding.

“No.” he answered honestly, rubbing her arm. “I was a little shocked though.” She saw a small smile when he said, “You never fail to surprise me, Tris.”

“Surprises are good, aren’t they Kevin?” she asked hopefully.

Sometimes, baby. Not always....” Kevin paused and then turned to walked away. “I’ll see you at the hotel. Soon.”

*******************

Amanda and Leighanne were having their purchases rung up when Tristan decided to take those few minutes to check their messages. Holly stood next to her and giggled as Tristan rolled her eyes.

“Magazine subscriptions....” she said to Holly, making a face.

There were several messages and Tristan chuckled through them. Amanda and Leighanne were finished and waited with Holly. They were showing Holly what they had bought when Amanda saw the look on Tristan’s face. She looked as if she were going to throw up. The color had left her face. Tristan’s gut feelings suddenly made sense to her now. She had been outside of a very tight circle. She wasn’t paranoid. She knew in her heart that she was alone in her ignorance. She turned off the phone at looked at her friends with disbelief and sadness.

“What’s wrong, Tris? What happened?” Leighanne asked, alarmed.

“Is it bad news?” Amanda was worried. Tristan was gazing at them all, almost accusingly.

Tristan then turned to Holly. As soon as their eyes connected, Holly knew what Tristan had discovered. She couldn’t bear the look of hurt, humiliation and betrayal in her eyes.

“Tristan....” she said, pleading.

Tristan handed Holly the cell.

“I don’t want this anymore.” she said simply and turned to leave the store.

Tristan’s walk soon turned into a run. By the time she got outside, the tears were falling. She could hear Holly screaming for her to stop but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to stop. Ever.

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