CHAPTER 43

As usual, Kevin and Tristan's time in Kentucky seemed all too short. Their days were usually long and lazy. Sometimes, when Kevin would be working in his basement studio, Tristan would sit at the piano, trying out some new piece. Kevin often got audio tapes in the mail from aspiring songwriters hoping that the Backstreet Boys would propel them to fame by recording one of their songs. Many were pitiful attempts but some weren't too bad. The two of them would sometimes listen to the tapes in the evenings and criticize them. This little exercise helped keep them in shape, musically speaking. Tristan rarely received that type of mail, but every once in a while someone, usually a student, would send her a few sheets of music and ask for opinions on what they had written. She never ignored these requests, ever mindful of the dedication and work it took to create it even if the results were less than stellar. She could play the piano and arrange vocal harmonies and instrumentals but she didn't actually create the work herself. Kevin created music. He was the artist. Tristan thought of herself as more of a craftsman.

During the day, they took long walks, gardened, cooked and dreamed. Like their last Kentucky respite, the Backstreet Boys as an entity were rarely discussed, although they often spoke of individual members. The guys had no contact with each other during this free time, except for Kevin and Brian who had seen each other at a family gathering. Tristan and Kevin were able to feel and behave like a 'normal' couple here in Lexington. Fortunately, the people here allowed them this luxury, particularly those who lived in the surrounding area. Tristan felt at home here.

When the pianist for Megan's dance class came down with the flu just before the spring recital, Tristan had been called and asked to fill in. The fact that she and Kevin were celebrities made no difference to these Kentuckians. Kevin attended the recital with his family and felt his heart swell with love as his wife, the renowned classical pianist who had been featured at places like Carnegie Hall and the Sydney Opera House, sat at the end of the stage at the local elementary school and banged out the children's classics, 'She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain' and 'I've been Working on the Railroad'. The simple tunes had never sounded so sweet.

Kevin had listened to her practice them over and over and wondered at Tristan's nervousness about playing these innocent melodies before an estimated crowd of three hundred. He had watched her from the far end of the dining room as she mouthed the words while she struck the keys on the baby grand. When she had finished, she would grin and begin again. It was then that Kevin realized that these songs were unfamiliar to Tristan. She had never played or sung them before. Maybe she had never even heard them before. His anger at her deprivation was diluted with sadness.

Tomorrow they would go back to Orlando.

***************

Tristan had been scurrying around all day today just as she had been yesterday. She was beginning to feel a little frazzled. In just a couple of hours, twelve guests would be coming for dinner. They had arrived in Orlando on Thursday and Tristan had run to the store to get the things they would need to tide them over for a few days. When she had gotten back home, Kevin had already started cleaning. She had stripped down and turned on the music. Her intentions had been entirely honorable but, needless to say, the job had been left unfinished. Lysol was no competition for Victoria's Secret.

The next day, Tristan had to shop for their little dinner party in honor of Amanda's birthday. It had taken her much longer than she had anticipated. Some ingredients had been unavailable and she had been forced to make substitutions and rethink her menu. By Friday night, she had been unusually exhausted. As a result, she overslept on Saturday and that threw her behind schedule. When Kevin came home that afternoon, he found her sitting at the kitchen table, her head resting in her arms. She was asleep. He leaned over her and gently shook her shoulder.

"Tris? Baby, it's four o' clock…" His only response was an incoherent mumble. He tried again. "Tristan?…"

This time she opened her eyes slowly and focused on the face in front of her.

"It's after four, Tris. Do you need any help?"

"Hmmm.." her eyes closed again and for a split a smile formed on her lips. Then, her eyes flew open and her smile disappeared. "Four o' clock!" She yelped and jumped up out of the chair.

It was a good thing that Kevin was standing there. Tristan stood quickly and froze. The room had begun to spin and the next thing she remembered was waking up on the floor in Kevin's arms. His voice sounded far away and he looked frightened. She was vaguely aware of something wet dripping onto her arm. She made a move to get up, but Kevin held her tightly.

"What happened?" she asked, confused.

"I think you fainted!" Kevin was practically screaming. "Don't get up!"

Tristan watched him watch her for a moment. His eyes looked like saucers.

"I'm takin' you to the doctor - right now!" His drawl had thickened with his panic.

Tristan squirmed impatiently. She still had a lot to do.

"I'm not going to the doctor, Kevin. Don't be silly! I just got up too fast, that's all! I'm fine."

Kevin looked skeptical, but helped her to her feet and then promptly sat her back down in the chair.

"Sit!" he ordered.

"Kevin, I'm all right!" Tristan looked at the glass she had knocked over when she fell. Iced tea was dripping over the edge of the table. "Shit! I've made a mess!"

"I'll get it." Kevin volunteered, but he made no move to clean it up. He sat himself down in the chair beside hers and stared at her as if she had grown another head.

"What's the matter with you?" she asked. She felt a little embarrassed. "I said I was okay."

"What's the matter with me? You scared the living shit out of me - that's what's the matter!"

Tristan smiled at Kevin patiently and patted his hand.

"I'm sorry, hon. I really am fine. Now I'm going to finish up here in the kitchen and then take a shower, okay? It's only a couple of hours until show time!"

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked doubtfully.

"Positive…"

*********************

All of the guys came with their girlfriends with the exception of Howie, who brought his sister with him. Mason was there, too along with Jack, the group's manager, Denise and Jerald, who had come directly from the airport. Jerald had taken Tristan up on her suggestion that he join them for their trip to Cancun. Mason was going, too, as well as Holly and Leighanne. Kevin, Nick and Brian were not thrilled with the prospect of their partners hitting the sunny beaches of Mexico without them but could find no concrete reason to object, though they had all tried.

They would all be leaving tomorrow evening. It had been decided that the chartered plane that would carry the Backstreet boys to the Bahamas would drop the group and their security in Nassau and the head to Mexico, carrying the 'Cancun Crew" as the small sextet of vacationers called themselves. Kevin felt a little better knowing that his brother would be going on the trip. He had encouraged Jerald to go and had been pleased when he agreed. Holly had not been. At any rate, the entire group would be leaving Orlando together.

"Come and get it!"

Tristan waved their guests into the dining room. Although the party was strictly casual, the table was not. Places were set with fine china, silver and cut glass crystal that reflected the light of a dozen candles placed strategically around the room and on the table. Tristan always made mental notes of people likes and dislikes and knew that Amanda had a fondness for lilacs and oleander and so those flowers provided the splashes of color needed for the room. The buffet was filled with a variety of rich and tempting dishes. For once in her life, Amanda was speechless. Although she was quite happy with herself, she knew that others often regarded her as unsophisticated and somewhat tacky. She had expected a 'beer and hotdogs' kind of party and was touched that Tristan and Kevin had gone to so much trouble on her behalf. AJ caught Kevin's eye and smiled gratefully. It meant a lot to him, too.

Plates were filled and everybody found a seat. It was Kevin's job, as host, to toast the birthday girl but as he raised his glass, Brian interrupted.

"What about grace, Kev?"

Kevin stopped and looked at his cousin and then glanced at the faces around the table. Most were expressionless, but he caught a few sighs and rolled eyes here and there. Jerald started laughing.

"Go ahead, Brian." Kevin sat down looking at Tristan while joining the ranks of eye rollers. Here we go….

After about a minute of giving thanks, Kevin felt compelled to cut the praying short. Brian was going off on a tangent. He had stopped calling on the Lord to bless their food about fifteen seconds ago and had now gotten off on their music and travel plans.

"Amen, already!" Kevin shouted, cutting off Brian's soliloquy. "Let's eat!"

Brian's eyes flew open and then he shifted in his seat, somewhat offended. Jerald laughed again and the meal finally began. Kevin relaxed - for about twenty seconds. Denise started it.

"Gosh, Tris, you went all out here. Everything's great!"

"Thanks, Denise. I'm glad you're enjoying it."

Denise smiled. "How could anybody not enjoy it? You've fixed so many wonderful things."

"But I wasn't able to fix what I wanted to. I overheard Amanda telling Leighanne one time what her favorite dish was but I absolutely could not find any in this city."

Amanda looked up at Tristan mid-chew. She was a little puzzled and couldn't remember what dish she had mentioned to Leighanne.

"What was that, Tris?" she asked. "I don't remember."

Kevin had a forkful of stringbeans halfway to his mouth when he heard Tristan's answer. His fork froze in mid-air.

"Oh, you know, Amanda! Leighanne was asking you what your favorite meal was and you said that you liked nothing better than a 'big ole tube steak'."

Tristan went back to her plate and speared a carrot. The clatter of knives and forks had ceased. The room had grown quiet, but Tristan didn't seem to notice. She glanced down to the other end of the table, smiling sweetly, and found Kevin glaring at her.

"What's the matter, Kevin?" she asked. "Did I forget something?"

Kevin kept staring and put his fork down on his plate. Oh, no. Another 'Tristan' moment… She had no idea…. Clueless.

AJ wasn't about to let this one go. He decided to improvise.

"Well that's too bad, Tris. You say you looked everywhere, huh?"

"I went all over this town looking. Maybe it goes by another name.."

"Oh it probably goes by lots of names." AJ grinned. Where did you go?" he asked, deliberately ignoring Kevin's scowl.

All eyes were on her. Jerald's mouth was hanging open. Denise was blushing, as was Brian. Holly just sat and shook her head in disbelief. Mason put hand up over his eyes. He had forgotten about Tristan's ignorance of slang.

"Well, I went to the grocery stores first. They acted kind of funny - like they were mad or something…"

"You don't say…" AJ said seriously.

"Yeah. Another woman who was waiting at the meat counter got downright pissy…excuse my language." Tristan dabbed the corner of her mouth with her napkin. "Maybe she thought I was butting in line or something…"

"Maybe…" AJ smiled.

"Anyway, I thought they were downright rude! I mean, what does a girl have to do to get a piece of meat around here?"

Jerald joined in the conversation, much to Kevin's dismay. "I wouldn't think you'd have to do much." Jerald replied sympathetically, glancing over at his brother. Kevin was starting to get pissed.

Tristan went on. "Then I tried the butcher shops."

AJ was grinning. "And they couldn't give you what you needed either?"

Amanda kicked AJ under the table. This was going from bad to worse. She could see the red moving slowly up Kevin's neck.

"Well, I almost got some…"

"What?" Kevin asked, trying to keep control of himself. What do you mean you 'almost got some'?"

"Well, the butcher in this one store said that he couldn't give me any tube steak right then, but he'd have some for me around closing time if I wanted to come back at about six o'clock. He was being very nice - tried to talk me into coming back later. Said he had some I could taste if I wanted, you know - since I told him I'd never had any."

Brian started choking and Jerald was literally biting his tongue to keep from laughing.

"Wh…what did you tell him, Tris?" Jerald stammered.

Kevin had had about all of this he could stand. "Why don't we talk about something else, Tristan." he commanded sternly while throwing murderous looks her way. They flew right past her.

"I told him that I couldn't wait. I needed it right then!"

AJ's cackle and Jerald's laughter filled the room. Tristan was pleased that her guests seemed to be enjoying the meal. She continued.

"There was another customer in the shop, too. He heard me talking to the butcher and I guess felt he sorry for me or something."

"Oh?" Kevin hissed.

"Yes. He was really nice. He said that he lived close by and that he had some tube steak he would be happy to give me if I wanted to come over to his apartment and get it. He was going to give it to me - even after I told him I'd pay for it! But I didn't want to put him out. Sorry, Amanda." Tristan said looking apologetically at her friend.

"That…That's okay, Tris." Amanda answered, glancing at Kevin who was well on his way to becoming apoplectic.

"He was kind of insistent", Tristan said, shaking her head, ' but I put him off…."

Jerald was using his napkin to wipe tears from his eyes as Nick shifted in his seat.

"How'd you do that, Tris?" AJ grinned. The conversation had done nothing to dampen his appetite. He popped a scallop into his mouth.

Tristan took a sip of her wine. "I just told him, 'thanks', but I didn't want to trouble him. Besides, I needed to look at it first. I told him that I really wasn't sure if I wanted one big tube steak or lots of little ones..."

Now even Amanda giggled.

"Jesus Christ…" Kevin muttered angrily and placed his clenched fists on the table.

Tristan saw that Kevin was breathing through his mouth. She finally noticed that he was upset and mistook his anger as criticism of her entrée selection. He was such a perfectionist and she assumed that he was probably mad because she hadn't prepared the guest of honor's favorite dish.

"I'm sorry, Kevin! I tried!" Tristan was returning his now obvious anger. She had knocked herself out over this meal. "Well I never heard of tube steak in Virginia!" She looked around the table and asked a question, hoping to strengthen her defense. "Okay - how many of you all have eaten tube steak before?"

The room became very quiet. No one wanted to embarrass Tristan and so a few hands slowly rose up into the air. It didn't surprise Tristan to see Amanda's hand rise. AJ hadn't moved and neither had Brian or Nick. Holly's hand came up, as did Leighanne's. Her eyes continued to move around the table. Kevin just sat, still glaring. Howie and Pollyanna's hands stayed in their laps. Denise, still blushing, slowly raised one finger. Tristan noticed that AJ seemed surprised at this. She saw him roll his eyes and shake his head.

Jerald's hand stayed down but Mason's shot straight up as he wiggled his eyebrows. She heard Nick mumble 'Well, God damn…'. Kevin seemed to visibly cringe. Then Jack's hand came up from his lap. She heard Kevin groan out loud. Brian's mouth still hadn't closed. Mason and Jack were looking at each other and smiling.

Tristan shot Kevin a triumphant look. Less than half of their guests had tasted this delicacy. He looked madder than ever, but Tristan didn't care. She felt she'd won this one hands down, so to speak.

"Okay, who needs more wine?" she asked.

She was surprised when every guest raised their glass.

**************

By midnight, all of the guests had gone, leaving Kevin, Jerald and Tristan alone in the house. Tristan was humming as she removed plates from the table. She thought the party had gone well and everyone had left in high spirits. The only thing that puzzled her was that a few of their friends had wished her 'good luck' on their way out.

Jerald gave her a hand cleaning up but after a short time she dismissed him and told him to go on up to bed.

"Kevin and I will do the rest." She said.

She really didn't know where Kevin had gone but figured he be back in a minute or two. By the time she was halfway through the mess, Kevin still hadn't come to help her and she was peeved. It had been a grueling couple of days and she was still exhausted. He should have been helping her.

Tristan put the last plate away and began to wipe off the counter. It was 1:30 AM. Kevin had never come. She threw down the dishcloth and headed up the stairs. When she entered the bedroom, Kevin was laying on the side of the bed, his back to the door. Tristan could tell by his breathing and the fact that his back had tensed when she came in that he wasn't asleep. She was mad as she started peeling off her clothes.

"Are you sick, Kevin?"

"No." he answered. His tone was harsh.

"Well thanks for all your help cleaning up." She said sarcastically. "I really appreciate you letting me do all those pots and pans by myself. They were loads of fun to scrub."

Kevin rolled over and narrowed his eyes. It hadn't been hard to catch her sarcasm. "Well, I guess it's a good thing that you didn't fix that tube steak, Tristan. That would have probably been a real mess. I hear that when they get good and hot, they virtually explode with juices." Tristan yanked her robe over her shoulders. "I knew it! You're mad about the dinner! Well I think it went just fine and…"

"It's dick, Tristan…."

Tristan knotted her robe and then paused. "What?" she asked, looking over at the pissed off figure on the bed.

"I said it's DICK, Tristan! It's a euphemism! There's no such thing as a tube steak! Tube steak means dick, cock, rod…"

Tristan's eyes grew wide. "You mean tube steak means 'penis'?" she whispered.

"That's what I mean, Tristan! Honest to God, you kill me! I'm just really sorry my mother wasn't there to hear about the great tube steak hunt!" Kevin was sitting up now. He was yelling. "I particularly liked the part about you trying to decide between one big one or lots of small ones! Tell me, Tristan - what category do I fit in?" Kevin was leaning on his fists now, his face red with anger.

Tristan wasn't prepared to back down. "How would I know Kevin?" she spat back at him. "Maybe I'll do a little comparison shopping in Mexico and let you know!"

With that, she spun on her heels and marched out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. She leaned up against the door for a moment, trying to compose herself and stop the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. I didn't know…. Why does he have to be so mean.. She remembered the parting comments made by some of the party goers Good luck… and felt ashamed and ignorant. Tristan held her hand over her mouth as she crossed the hallway into one of the guestrooms.

Jerald gently closed his door. He had not yet fallen asleep when he heard the shouting coming from Kevin and Tristan's bedroom. When it had stopped and he heard the door slam, he peeked down the hallway to find Tristan leaning against the door fighting tears. Then he saw her enter one of the guestrooms and heard the lock latch. He felt bad for Tristan but even more, he felt angry with Kevin. Uptight asshole! Didn't he realize that Tristan's innocense was one of her greatest assets?

CHAPTER 44

Kevin had heard the guestroom door closing across the hall. He hadn't heard Tristan turn the lock. That was fine. If she wanted to sleep alone - so be it. He laid on his back in the dark, eyes wide open. Shit. Then he turned over onto his stomach, glancing to her side of the bed as he rolled. For almost an hour he replayed the dinner conversation in his head as well as Tristan's verbal slip-ups from the past. There had been quite a few. Kevin had to admit that in hindsight, they had been pretty funny. but damn! She was almost twenty-six years old! When would she ever learn? Stop being such an ass! You know Tris. She takes things at face value. Why are you embarrassed if she's not? Kevin groaned and he tossed again. His eyes focused on a bottle that sat atop the nightstand. Hand lotion. Honeysuckle. She didn't use it tonight. She probably needed it after doing all of those dishes… Kevin shifted to his side trying to find a comfortable position. He couldn't seem to get his legs right. Fuck. That was because his legs were usually tangled with hers. He finally kicked the covers off of himself completely and let out an exasperated sigh. He looked at the clock. It was 2:40 AM.

Kevin finally gave in to his urge and sat up on the edge of the bed, glancing over his shoulder once again at the emptiness behind him. Dammit! He stood and slipped on a pair of boxers, picked up the bottle of lotion and stepped across the hall to the guestroom door. He tapped softly at first - not for permission to enter, but to let her know he was coming in. There was no response. He turned the knob and was surprised to find that the door was locked tight. What the hell? He jiggled the knob again. Nothing.

"Tristan?" he whispered loudly against the door. "Are you awake?"

"NO!" she shouted back.

"Why is this damn door locked?" Kevin asked angrily.

"Because I don't want anybody to come in here!" she answered.

Kevin put his hands on his hips and struck a pose. He could feel his temper rising again.

"I'm your fuckin' husband! Now let me in!" he yelled through the door.

Tristan had temporarily made the transition from hurt to mad and her response reflected this change.

"You might be my husband, Kevin. But you're definitely not my fuckin' husband. Not tonight. Not with me!"

Kevin took a step back from the door. What did she say? "Tristan!" You open this door right this minute! I mean it!"

Silence.

"TRISTAN!"

Kevin began to slam his fist against the door. There was still no response. He decided on another approach.

"I'm going to be away for two God damned weeks! Do you know what that means?"

"Yes, Kevin. I know what that means! Just think of tonight as a 'going away gift' - a melody or maybe a lyric, since now you'll have even more 'creative juices' to help you work!'

Jerald tried to convince himself that he wasn't really eavesdropping as he stood with his ear pressed against his door. This little battle was just too good to miss. Deathmatch: The Backstreet Boy vs The Backtalk Girl. This fight was too ridiculous to be serious. But then Jerald never was any good at reading subtext…

"Two weeks, Tris!," Kevin repeated loudly.

"That's your doing - not mine!" Tristan shouted back.

Kevin went for his last at-bat. His voice softened.

"Tris, I came over here to tell you that I forgive you, baby…" he cooed.

Tristan was silent. Kevin pressed his ear against the door, trying to hear something. He did. It sounded like Tristan was crying. He didn't like this.

"Tris? Didn't you hear me?" Kevin whispered through the wood. "Come on, baby. Let me in. What do you say?"

He thought he could hear her draw in a ragged breath. Then, voice cracking, she delivered her response.

"I say 'Go to hell', Kevin." she choked.

Kevin's eyes closed as he leaned his forehead against her door. The anger that he had been cultivating for most of the night had turned into regret when he heard her sob. He had handled this all wrong.

"I'm sorry, Tris." He sighed through the door. "Goodnight, baby…..I love you…" He wasn't going to beg.

Kevin lifted his head from the wood, turned and walked back into their bedroom, still clutching the bottle of lotion in his hand. He tried once again to get some sleep, but sleep wouldn't come. The clock read 3:18 AM. He felt tired and defeated, weak… as he made an attempt to analyze himself and his reactions to tonight's events. He had read enough self-help books to know that the anger he had felt went deeper than Tristan's semantic naiveté. If she just hadn't gone on and on. If she could just control her mouth…No - if I could just control it. I want to control it. I want to control her. He knew that he would never have charge of her mind and despite his exasperation he knew that he didn't really want that. But he could control her body. He would control it - not by force, but by her willing submission to him. This was something he needed from her. She would have to understand that.

*************

Tristan didn't go back to bed. She paced. Her tears had dried and she tried to figure out what was next for them. She was now painfully aware of how her remarks during dinner had sounded. She had unwittingly provided some dinnertime entertainment due in large part to AJ and Jerald's prompting. They had meant no harm and there would have been none had it not been for Kevin's extreme reaction. She realized then that his reaction had not been caused by so much by what was said - it was more personal than that. He had gotten mad because she had failed to follow his direction. She had missed her cues to change the subject or stop and everyone at the table knew it. As irrational as it was, Kevin had felt somewhat emasculated in front of his friends.

She thought back to their encounter in the bedroom after she had come upstairs. He wanted something from her but she didn't know what. She was going to have to find out. She wouldn't apologize. He had made a lopsided attempt to fix this when he had come to her door. Now they were in the middle of a standoff - a kind of power struggle. power… One of them would have to win or they would both lose. One of them would have to dominate….domination, power, control….. Kevin. Tristan took a deep breath at looked at the door. She remembered seeing a small, darker corner of Kevin's heart once before. She tightened the sash on her short, satin robe and left the guestroom, sensing that she would soon see it again.

*****************

He was still awake when she came into the room. He rested on his back, staring up at the ceiling. His hands were laced behind his head and the covers still kicked down to the foot of the bed. Kevin's eyes had long ago adjusted to the dim light and they followed Tristan from the doorway to the foot of the bed where she stood looking down at him. When she whispered into the darkness, he felt himself stir.

"Kevin?"

Kevin raised himself up on his elbows at looked at her standing in the moonlight. After a moment, she began to fumble with the sash on her robe. He tightened again, knowing what lay beneath the frost colored satin. She was having trouble with the sash.

"Let me…"

This was not a mere offer of assistance. His tone was gentle but the implied demand was implicit. He would do it. Tristan nodded and met him at the side of the bed.

Kevin sat up and pushed himself against the wrought iron headboard as she approached. When she reached him, he looked her over slowly - up and down - and then fixed his eyes on hers. He was assessing her willingness to do his bidding. The full moon made the room seem almost light yet there was no color. Everything seemed to show itself in black, white and varying shades of gray. Kevin's expression seemed neutral but his eyes were serious - almost hard.

"Come here."

He indicated that she was to straddle him and so she did, moving one leg across his hips and resting her knees on the mattress. Kevin's hands rose up beneath the hem of her robe and he took her by the hips and pushed her down so that her weight was on him. She wore no panties. Tristan was surprised to feel Kevin's full hardness against her folds. She hadn't been able to see him in the dim light. She gasped and began to move herself up and down his length as she straddled him, leaving a slight dampness on the black silk.

"Stop." He ordered.

His fingers pressed into her thighs, halting her movement. Kevin's command surprised her and she saw, once again, a sternness in his eyes - a demand for compliance. She had thought that he wanted release. He did, but he needed far more than that. When she was stilled, he unknotted her sash and pulled it through the loops of her robe, wrapping it around his arm as he did so. He did not want to lose it. He would need it later.

Tristan sat motionless on him as he pushed her robe off of her shoulders and down her arms. Then she felt his hands on her back as he pushed her body to his face. Her breast mash itself against his cheek as his stubble ground against her nipple like fine sandpaper. Her head fell back and she moaned softly as his mouth latched onto her hardened bud, sucking with great force. Her hips began to move again against his turgidity.

"Stop."

"But…"

"Don't talk. Get off of me now and lay down."

The tension in the room was palatable. She wanted him inside of her. He knew this. Tristan slid to Kevin's side and lay down on her back. She expected him to lay with her but he got out of bed and went over to the small chair nearby. Tristan raised herself up on her elbows so she could see what he was doing and watched as Kevin moved the chair close to the bed. She could see that he still had the sash wrapped around his arm. When he turned, her eyes fell to his erection. She unconsciously licked her bottom lip.

"I told you to lay down, baby…"

Her head fell back to the pillow as Kevin seated himself in the chair and leaned back, staring at her.

"Can you see me, Tristan? Can you see my face?" he asked slowly.

"Yes, Kevin…"

"That's good, baby…"

Kevin was silent for a moment as he studied her from the chair. God damn, she is beautiful…

"I want you to do something for me, Tris."

"What is it? What do you want me to do?" she asked, looking at him.

"I want you to look at me - keep your eyes on me - just like you're doing now…"

"O..Okay…"

"And while you're looking at me, I want you to touch yourself."

Tristan's throat closed and she could barely speak.

"Wh..what?" she stammered.

"You heard me, Tris. Do it." submit

"Wh..what are you go..going to do?" she asked hoarsely.

"I'm gonna watch you, sweetheart…"

Here was the test - the challenge. The question was not one of passing or failing. The question was whether or not she'd take the test at all. Tristan knew then that part of her life with Kevin would always consist of tests and proofs. He would always need for her to tell him that she loved him and show him that she trusted him completely. She looked deeply into his eyes, trying to read his heart - trying to get into that darker corner.

Am I willing to prove myself to him by giving him this kind of control over me? Do I need to open myself up to him this intimately in order to show him that I trust him? Is this something he wants so he can elevate his ego or is this something he needs to strengthen his soul? Am I willing to submit to him whenever he needs that from me? Am I willing to do it now?

Tristan slowly brought her hand to her mouth and drew two fingers between her lips. Her eyes locked with Kevin's as she sucked on them for a moment and then removed them, bringing them down her throat and across her nipple where she let them linger for a moment before continuing down. Kevin watched her movements intently as her fingertips skimmed over her ribs and then her belly, pausing when they made contact with her pubis. She heard him release a gentle moan when she raised her knees and whispered his name. Then her fingers disappeared between her legs as her hand began to move.

*****************

Holly and Nick drove back to Ruskin after the dinner party. They would have to come back to Orlando tomorrow to fly out with the rest of the group. Tristan had invited then to stay overnight but they had declined. An hour and forty-five minute drive wasn't bad and it gave them a chance to talk. In fact, Nick and Holly did their second-best talking in the car. Their first-best took place in bed.

The trip was unusually quiet, each if them lost in a variety of thoughts. At the moment they were both reflecting on the same event - the birthday party. Holly was the first to approach the subject.

"So, what did you think?" It was a neutral question, indicating no opinion, criticism or praise.

Nick took his eyes off the road for a moment and glanced at her, wondering if she was reading his mind. He had been about to ask her the same thing.

"I enjoyed it." He answered. The food was great and almost everybody was happy and relaxed…at first, anyway."

"Yeah. AJ and Jerald were really yanking Tris' chain tonight, weren't they…." Holly said flatly.

Holly had not planned to go to Mexico. Unbeknownst to Nick, she was still negotiating with the Tampa Symphony. She didn't want to tell him about this until she had something definite to say. Holly was still undecided about taking the position. Her plans to remain in Ruskin changed when she found out that Jerald would be going to Cancun and she had felt, intuitively, that she should stay close to Tristan.

"You okay, babe?"

Holly's reverie dissolved when she heard Nick speaking to her. "Yeah. I'm okay.." she smiled.

They drove in silence for about five more miles before Holly asked the question that they had both been chewing on.

"Do you think Kevin's okay? I mean that 'meat' business at dinner was all in good fun. I don't think Tristan ever even caught on, do you?" Holly asked, studying Nick's face.

Nick sighed as he veered off their exit.

"Oh, I have a feeling that she's caught on by now. I'd be willing to bet that she's been 'enlightened', if you know what I mean."

"Do really think Kevin's mad?"

Nick moved his head in a nod of resignation.

"I think you could count on that, Holly." After a sew seconds, Nick added an afterthought. "By the way, Hol. Thanks for telling me about Mason…"

*****************

Tristan had never felt so exposed and vulnerable in her life. Kevin's eyes bore down on her - sharp as needles and equally piercing. He had turned on the lights in the bathroom and closet. He wanted a clearer view. Soon her hips began to rock slightly. As the intensity of her manipulations increased, her breathing became shallow and she shuddered. She saw the sparks in Kevin's eyes as she moved her body closer to the edge.

"Slow it down, baby.. I don't want you leaving me yet.."

Tristan's eyes began to close. She couldn't slow herself. She was close…close.. Her fingers had to move, had to press, had to stroke, had to…"

"TRISTAN!"

Tristan's eyes flew open and found Kevin kneeling beside her on the bed. He was cupping his testicles in his hands as if the weight of them were causing him discomfort. His erection was so fierce that it seemed to pulsate as it pressed against the silk.

"Stop. Now."

His voice had developed a guttural quality. Kevin held out his arm and extended his fingers.

"Give me your hands." he commanded.

Tristan whimpered and kept her hands between her thighs. Her legs came together as if to protect them and hold them in place.

"I..I can't.." she whispered, shaking her head. "Please, Kevin…please don't make me. Not now. Please…"

Kevin moved so quickly that Tristan barely realized what was happening. She felt her hands being pulled from between her legs and held together at her wrists. Then Kevin was wrapping something around them satin…, binding them tightly. Her arms were stretched upward, over her head as he fastened the sash to the iron headboard. She couldn't move her arms.

Kevin slid off of the bed, removed his boxers and then climbed over her legs. He knelt there, holding her lower body immobile with his knees and thighs. Tristan couldn't move. He towered over her, watching as her eyes grew wide and she struggled, pulling at her restraints. At last she quieted, and breathing rapidly through parted lips, looked into his face. Her hips were still competing with his weight, trying desperately to move, searching for relief but finding none. Then he saw what he had been after. Her eyes grew wet as she silently pleaded for him to help her tumble into the void that her body now demanded. She was looking to him for direction. She was ready for her cue.

"Good girl…" he murmured, acknowledging her surrender.

Kevin laid his body of top of hers and inched his way up, rubbing himself against her as he moved. Tristan groaned as his hardness slid across her groin and he deliberately ground himself against her. She soon felt his breath at her ear as he began to whisper. She had to strain to hear his words.

"You were almost there, weren't you baby…almost…. " She felt the tip of his tongue at the rim of her ear, tracing its edge. "So beautiful, Tris…so beautiful…."

"Please…"

"….but I can't allow that, can I?"

"Please, Kevin.."

His tongue moved from her ear down her jawline and over her mouth. When she felt his thigh move across hers, she instinctively spread her legs, allowing him unimpeded access to the nerve center of her sexuality.

"Only I can push you over the edge - no one else….. Isn't that right, Tristan?" he said, brushing his mouth against hers.

Kevin didn't wait for her to answer. Tristan was becoming almost frenzied - she had begun pulling at her restraints again as she moaned in frustration.

"Shhh, baby… Easy.."

He murmured against her mouth as he ran his hands up and down the sides of her body. She had begun to tremble. It was time for the push.

"You want me to take you there now, Tris? You ready for me to make you cum?" he asked softly, increasing her torment. He was pressing his groin against hers rhythmically - pressing, releasing, pressing, releasing…. He held her head between his hands and watched her mouth his name.

"Let's go, baby…" he whispered.

Kevin watched the satin sash twist once as he turned Tristan over on her belly.

Email Grace

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