CHAPTER 3

The meeting broke up on a less than happy note. Kevin didn't speak again. The confidence he had gathered before the meeting dissipated rapidly with the revelation that he was essentially being forced to tour with Lily. He felt he had been given no options. Even if he was released from his contract, which would never happen, his withdrawal from the tour would cause severe hardships for the rest of the group. His primary concern was Tristan. He remembered when she had come to New York to meet him after their last tour. She had been so happy to see him and then, in an instant, their worlds had turned upside down. He could handle the touring with Lily if he had to. Whether or not Tristan could handle it was a different story. He tried not to play the 'What If?' game but he couldn't seem to stop himself. What if Tristan had been with him for the end of the fall tour? The fears and doubts wouldn't have come and Lily's 'friendship' would never have been an issue. Tristan wouldn't have been emotionally scarred. He might have been a father this spring.... Kevin tried to put himself in her shoes. He knew himself well enough to know that he would be far from understanding if she had betrayed him. He would wonder every time they made love if she was thinking of the other man or comparing their skills in bed. Did she wonder when he made love to her? Kevin remembered how she had doubted herself early in their relationship. She had thought that she wasn't enough for him. It was ironic that although in many ways he had been her teacher and had tried to show her what was suppose to happen when a man and a woman made love, she was actually the one who had taught him what he was supposed to feel. In that sense, he had been the inexperienced one. Kevin had begun to appreciate the old adage 'ignorance is bliss'. He was no longer ignorant and with his knowledge came the bittersweet realization that no one would ever be able to give him what she could.

The Jive execs had already left the table. Jack was packing up his briefcase, promising to search for other options. Kevin barely heard him and didn't respond when he bid him good-bye. The five of them sat at the table, saying nothing.

"What are you going to say to Tristan?" Brian asked him quietly.

All four faces were watching him, eager for some profound plan, but he had none. Kevin was exhausted.

"I have no fuckin' idea..." Kevin mumbled staring at the bottled water setting in front of him. "I'm open for suggestions..." When no ideas were forthcoming, he chuckled. "Well I have an idea and it involves a bottle and a glass." He walked to the bar at the end of the conference room and poured himself a bourbon.

"I don't think that's gonna help, Kev...." Brian began.

Kevin laughed. "Believe me, Brian. It helps." He finished his drink in one large swallow. "Anybody want to join me?"

When he turned to ask the question, his eyes fell on Nick. He could read child-like disappointment in his face. Nick had looked at the floor when Kevin had glanced at him.

Kevin reconsidered. "On second thought, I think that's enough. I may as well get this overwith before Tristan hears about it from someone else."

"Maybe Jack will come up with something." AJ remarked hopefully.

"Yeah. Maybe."

"You don't have to dance with her, Kev." Nick said. I can dance with her. I don't care."

Kevin walked over to Nick and messed up his hair. He knew that Nick despised Lily but was willing to put up with her to help Kevin avoid a sticky situation.

"Thanks, Nick. I might just let you do that."

"Hell, let me!" AJ pleaded. "Of course, I get carried away sometimes...might accidentally knock her off the stage or trip her or something." He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Hey.....that sounds like a plan to me, AJ!" Nick seemed to be considering this option seriously.

"Hold up!" Kevin interjected. "No blood, please. Not unless we really have to, anyway!" he chuckled trying to ease the tension. Then he became somber. "I'm just sorry that all of you have been dragged into this. I know that personal business doesn't mix with our work and performances. I just don't know how to separate the two right now. I really am sorry."

"Listen, man." AJ scolded, "don't apologize to us. This could be happening to any one of us. We'll just try to watch your back and provide a buffer zone between you and that bitch. Right guys?"

They all nodded and seemed almost excited to have a mission. They began to sound like CIA operatives and started picking out code names for the significant players in this drama. Kevin just shook his head and sighed. Time to go give Tristan the news.

*********

When Kevin entered the front door, 'Walk This Way' was blaring out of the speakers. He could smell a combination of lemon oil and bleach and figured correctly that Tristan was in a cleaning mode. The house had been empty for four months but her efforts had erased the dust and staleness that had greeted them when they arrived. He couldn't find her at first, but finally spotted a flash of green out of the corner of his eye. He walked to the dining room and caught her again, dancing with a dustcloth between attacks on the dining room table. She had chosen a mossy green, satin number to clean in today. She literally bounced to the far end of the table as Kevin stood in the doorway watching, unnoticed. When she leaned forward over the table to polish a spot that she had missed, Kevin's breath caught in his throat. The green satin bra was one of those underwire styles that pushed up what it carried and Tristan carried plenty. It was cut so low that Kevin thought he could see the edge of pinkness that surrounded her nipple. The word 'melon' kept running through his brain and he wanted nothing more at that moment than to bury his face in her breasts.

He kept watching as she stopped to brush a piece of lint off of her skin, near her nipple. When it didn't move, she licked her fingers and began to rub the soft skin there. Kevin had to close his eyes and turn from the room. He adjusted himself and sat down in a small straight-backed chair near the foyer, trying to regain his composure. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to look at that dining room table again without thinking of how he'd like to slide her across the waxed surface and pound himself into her.

"Kevin! When did you get home?"

Kevin broke out of his brief reverie. The music had stopped and Tristan was sliding herself onto his lap, straddling his legs. His arms circled her back, drawing her close and he shut his eyes as he moved his chin and mouth up and down her cleavage occasionally pressing his cheek against the fullness of her breast.

Tristan detected the faint smell of bourbon. Kevin had yet to look her in the eye. A small alarm went off in the back of her brain.

"I love you, baby," he whispered into her chest.

Tristan didn't return his declaration. She didn't say it back to me....

"How did the meeting go?" she asked softly.

Kevin didn't answer, but slid her off of his lap and stood. He still wasn't looking into her eyes. He removed his jacket and walked into the living room.

"We have to talk, Tris. Why don't you get dressed..."

The mental alarm became louder and she sensed that she was about to become involved in a conversation that she wanted no part of. She went into the laundry room to retrieve her jeans and a long sleeved tee. When she came back into the living room, Kevin was looking out of the French doors into the back yard.

"Do you want a drink, Kevin?" she asked. He shook his head in response. Tristan paused, trying to evaluate the situation. "Do Iwant one?" she asked pointedly. "You might, Tris...."

"What happened today? Is there a problem?"

Kevin sighed. "Yeah. There's a problem."

"With what?" she asked nervously.

"There's an employee problem, hon....do you want to sit?"

"No...." she answered, trying to swallow the large lump in her throat. "What's the matter? Did somebody quit?" Tristan was reaching for an easy and pain free explanation.

Kevin placed his hands on his hips and raised his eyes to hers.

"No. baby. Lily's under contract until September. She'll be touring with us."

Kevin was watching Tristan carefully and saw her expression move from apprehension to blankness. He had expected her to get mad, scream, cry - something. She did absolutely nothing. Her eyes slowly left his and focused in some other point in the room. Kevin began to panic. Her lack of response and expression was reminding him of the condition that had sent her to South Carolina. He thought that she was thinking of the night that she came to New York and discovered that Lily had been in his bed but, in fact, she was recalling small bits of the dream she'd had that first night at Stonewall house. Her right hand moved to her left wrist and she began to scratch the scar as if it was itching. Her scratching became more furious as the seconds went by. Kevin stepped over to her and grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her back to reality.

"Tristan! Did you hear me?" His voice was tense and he sounded afraid.

Tristan's eyes locked with his. "Yes, I heard you, Kevin." she said quietly. "You said that Lily's going with you. That means I'm not."

"Tristan! Listen to me! She's not going with me. I won't be dancing with her this time! I won't even be around her, Tris!"

Kevin attempted to hold Tristan as she pulled back and looked at him, chuckling and shaking her head.

"Oh, Kevin - of course you'll be around her! Don't be silly! Now let go of me."

"No, baby. I won't let go of you. I tried to stop this. I'm still trying. It's all so complicated..." Kevin searched his mind, frantically trying to find the right words to explain this.

"Please let go, Kevin," Tristan demanded softly and calmly. Kevin's arms dropped and Tristan backed away. "It's not all that complicated. The bottom line is that you'll be working with and traveling with your ex - lover. You may not want to, but you have to. It's really quite simple," she smiled.

Her neutrality was driving him crazy. She walked over to the kitchen counter to grab her purse and car keys and then got a jacket from the hall closet.

"Where are you going?" Kevin screamed at her.

Tristan turned to him with a puzzled expression. "Why are you shouting, Kevin? I'm going out for awhile."

"Are you coming back?" he whispered.

"Of course..." she answered lightly. "But even though this is your house, I would be grateful if you weren't here when I get back."

Tristan opened the front door and went out, closing it gently behind her.

Email Grace

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