CHAPTER 41 Connie remained disoriented for a long time, even after Kevin had carried her upstairs. He had practically bathed her in order to get the blood off of her face, neck and arms. The water was warm and seemed to sooth Connie but only minimally. She was still shaking like a leaf and hanging on to a corner of his tee shirt as he gently wiped the smears from her shoulders. She was staring at him, watching his mouth as he murmured. Whenever he turned to the basin to rinse out the cloth, her breathing accelerated. Kevin wasn't sure if she was upset because she thought he was leaving or because she couldn't see him speaking to her. He bandaged her cut carefully, wrapping gauze around and around, across her palm and over the back of her hand. The circular motion seemed to fascinate her. The only time her eyes left his face was to watch the ribbon of cotton circle her hand. She didn't remember how she had cut herself or when. She didn't ask. She didn't speak at all. Connie had become, temporarily, a deaf mute. Kevin pretended not to notice the fact that Connie was hanging on to his clothes. When he walked her over to a mirrored vanity and sat her down facing the mirror, she continued to stare at his reflection as he stood behind her. Her hand, having lost its hold on Kevin?s shirt, moved down and grasped the leg of his pants, below the knee. It was as if her thought processes had nothing to do with her body's movements. Her hand seemed to have a will of its own. Kevin tried his damnedest to act casual as he pulled a brush through Connie?s hair. Her expression was almost blank but he suspected that she was watching him for signs of worry, fear and most importantly - disgust. Kevin smiled gently at her reflection, eliciting no response. He had been upset. Badly upset. This episode had scared the shit out of him and he was worried about her but his disgust, as well as his anger, was reserved for the man who had fine tuned her anxiety and forced her fears to new heights - Trevor Abbott. Kevin strongly suspected that this asshole probably pulled the legs and wings off of bugs as a child. He was nothing less than a sadist. Kevin had let his expression shift as he considered the cruelty Connie had suffered. He had stopped brushing as he became distracted, lost in thought, until he felt the fabric on his leg loosen as Connie released him. When he looked up and met her sad eyes in the mirror, she turned away. It was then that Kevin caught the reflection of his own expression - an expression of utter and complete contempt. Connie, in her defeated state, had presumed that the feelings reflected on Kevin?s face were aimed at her. "You can go now Kevin," she whispered, still unable to meet his eyes. "Thank you for helping me but I'm okay now." With those words, Connie rose and began to move somewhat precariously towards the bedroom. She was dismissing him - releasing him from any sense of obligation and too drained to be defensive. But Kevin wasn't about to be discharged so easily. Grabbing her forearm, he spun her back around to face him. Then he bent down and leaned his face close to hers making it impossible for her to avoid seeing his eyes and his mouth. "You cuttin' me loose now, Connie? You sayin' that you don't need me? That you don't love me?" "I... I didn't want you to see me like this." Connie whimpered, squeezing her eyes closed. "I don't want to need you - not like this.." Kevin was beginning to feel a sense of outrage. Connie wanted all of this to just 'go away' like it had never happened. He felt rejected and his temper flared. "Well, that's just tough shit, isn't it?" Kevin said angrily, lifting Connie's chin and forcing her to look at him again. "You don't want to need anybody!" "I saw how you looked at me!" she shouted. "I saw it in your face?the disgust" "I'm disgusted alright!" Kevin screamed back. "I'm disgusted that a cocksucker like Trevor Asshole managed to manipulate a simple and understandable phobia into mind shattering terror! You'd better pray that I never meet the son of a bitch, Connie, because if I do one of us may die?." "Don't say that!" Kevin's grip grew fiercer as his anger and outrage continued to escalate. "You said that you didn't want me to see you like this! You think that I wanted to see you like this - shaking in a dark corner so afraid you can't think, only react? You think it makes me feel powerful or superior to see you like this? Do you think I liked it?" Connie didn't answer but she didn't have to. Her silence and trembling led Kevin to conclusions he had never really considered before now. Conclusions that Connie had never discussed with anyone?. Conclusions that even Hannah hadn't realized. Conclusions that made him sick to his stomach?. He could read it in her eyes as she stared at him, silently begging him to go no farther. "No! I didn't think that,"she finally whispered. Kevin hesitated before he continued. "But Trevor?" He did like it, didn't he Connie?" Once again, Connie tried to jerk herself away. Once again, Kevin held fast, this time grabbing her shoulders. "I already told you that!" Connie spit furiously. "I told you that he'd throw me in the dark when I wouldn't do what he wanted - when I couldn't feel what he wanted!" Kevin eyed her carefully as he responded. "But you didn't tell me that it also turned him on, Connie. You didn't tell me that it made him hot?" She seemed to shrink and weaken before his eyes and Kevin soon found that his tight hold on her was all that was keeping her standing. Connie's collapse was soon followed by a gut-wrenching sob that chilled Kevin to his core. He held her tightly, keeping her upright, and then let her fall against him, half expecting her to recoil at his embrace, especially after hitting such nerve. She bawled against his chest in a tone of total despair and Kevin let her cry. He let her cry until she was emotionally bankrupt and empty - until all she could do was gasp for air. Her legs were useless and so he picked her up again and carried her to the bed where he sat her on the edge of the mattress and waited to see if she would say anything. She looked as if she was physically hurting. Connie wrapped her arms around herself and began to rock slightly. Kevin guessed that she would have no more words for him this night. She couldn't seem to meet his eyes and he felt a wave of remorse for having become so angry. Maybe he had pushed her too far. Once again, he lifted her chin so that she would see him speak. "Let's get that shirt off, baby. It's kind of bloody." He glanced over to her suitcase that lay open on the window seat. "I'll be right back." He waited a second or two for a response that never came and then gave Connie a gentle smile, patted her bare thigh and stood. He stole a quick glance over his shoulder but she wasn't watching him. She seemed lost in her own thoughts. Kevin found a pale yellow baby tee and brought it back to the bed. He didn't speak as he unfastened the buttons and slid the stained top from her shoulders. He tossed it into a corner and pulled the tiny tee over her head before forcing her arms through the capped sleeves. It wasn't sleepwear but it would do. Then Kevin pulled off his own shirt and threw it into the corner as well, on top of Connie's discarded tank. "Come on, baby." He pulled her up from the mattress just enough to move the coverings out of the way and guided her body to a prone position on one side of the bed. She was watching him again. "Can I turn out the light?" he asked her. Connie nervously licked her lips. "Are you going to stay with me?" "Yes. I'll be right next to you?" Kevin said seriously. When she nodded hesitantly, Kevin gave her a tender smile, leaned over her and turned the lamp switch. A sharp gasp pierced the sudden darkness and Kevin felt her slender fingers grasp at his hand for reassurance. He couldn't speak to her now. The darkness would hide any words of comfort. They both lay on their backs, side by side in the gloom, silent - each unaware that the other was staring at the ceiling. Their fingers were still intertwined in the empty space that separated them - space enough for another body. Many minutes passed before Kevin heard Connie sigh. Her voice cracked as she made her pronouncement in hushed and wavering tones. "I didn't want him to like it, Kevin. I tried not to be scared so he wouldn't like it but I couldn't help it. I tried so hard not to give him the reaction he wanted but I was so scared. So scared. Just like he wanted.p> He had to fight back a tear before he pulled her close. He needed to feel her skin against his, to feel her burrowing against him in the night. Connie rolled into his arms easily, her face now pressed against his shoulder. Her warm tears spilled on his collarbone but there was no sound and no movement from her. They were both completely exhausted. Kevin felt some relief when her breathing evened out and deepened, signaling her fall into sleep. His relief evolved into a peaceful gratitude when he felt her fingers move unconsciously to his throat and rest there. That was the touch he craved most of all.
CHAPTER 42 Leighanne was watching Connie carefully though she tried not to be obvious about it. She and Brian had come in late last night and had missed the heart of the storm. She knew something had happened but she wasn't sure what. Kevin's truck had been parked in the drive but he wasn't in the house. The door to his bedroom was open - the room was empty. All she'd been able to pump out of Howie this morning was that Connie and Kevin had had some sort of disagreement and that he'd heard that she was flying back to New York on Sunday. Connie and Hannah were all but ignoring her as they puttered around the kitchen. Connie was quiet and looked a little tired. When Hannah came into the kitchen after Connie, she had seemed concerned and Leigh had heard her ask Connie if she was all right. Leighanne could see from the bandage that she'd done something to her hand. She put on her sweetest smile and walked over to the sink to rinse her cup. "I hear you're going back to New York on Sunday" Leighanne was practically batting her lashes. "That's right." Connie didn't elaborate which meant Leighanne was going to have to pump a little harder. "Well, we'll really miss you around here!" Leighanne waited for a 'thank-you' or an 'I'll miss you, too' but received neither. She waded in a little deeper. "It's a shame these little summer-time romances have to end," she giggled stupidly, "but I guess we all have to get back to school sometime." It wasn't hard to catch on to Leighanne's unsubtle innuendo. She regarded Connie and Kevin's relationship as a summer fling and no more but Connie also knew she was fishing and she would be damned if she was going to confide in Leighanne about her feelings for Kevin. In fact, if Leighanne wanted to play cute, Connie would play, too. She was tired and still emotionally weak after what had happened last night but the thought of playing these stupid games with Leighanne renewed her energy to a small degree. Neither of the women had seen Kevin approach the kitchen. He raised his finger to his lips when he realized that Hannah had spotted him eavesdropping from behind the entryway. Connie was about to make a sarcastic remark concerning Leighanne's schoolgirl analogy and her hands flew up in mock exasperation. "Oh, you are so right, Leighanne! Thank goodness I've already bought my school supplies! I have paper, book covers, pencils?." Connie was counting the items off on her fingers. Leighanne was not amused. "I even got one of those little zippered bags to put in my new binder to carry erasers and lunch money and stuff!" Leighanne had crossed her arms and was tapping her foot but Connie wasn't finished. "Oh, but you know what? Since the summertime romance is over, I may have to get another three-ring binder? I already decorated the one I bought and messed it up. You know - big hearts all over it with 'Connie + Kevin' written inside and?" Connie held a finger up, writing in the air, "?'Connie Richardson', Constance Kendall O'Rourke Richardson' and my favorite?" Connie shivered in an exaggerated manner, "?. Mrs. Kevin Scott Richardson!" Hannah had to turn away. It was all she could do not to burst out laughing. Kevin was tickled, too, and stepped back behind the doorframe. He was relieved to catch a glimpse of Connie's old feistiness, especially after last night. Her remarks had triggered a memory of junior high and the 'decorated' notebooks that many of the young girls had carried. He discovered that the idea of Connie writing his name inside of a heart was somewhat appealing - in a juvenile way, of course. Leighanne was pissed but couldn't say all that much since she had started all of this. Her motivation had been pure meanness but Connie had unexpectedly thrown her shit back over the fence - so to speak. Leigh frowned as her nose shot up into the air. "Well, you don't have to be such a smart ass!" she hissed. "And you don't have to be so conniving!" Connie growled back. She paused and looked at Leighanne intently. "I don't know why you dislike me so much, Leighanne or why you're so concerned about Kevin's and my relationship. Would you care to explain that to me?" Kevin held his breath. He needed to talk to Connie about Brandi. He had intended to do it before now but Brandi had been avoiding him and Connie seemed so vulnerable right now. There just hadn't been a good time. He couldn't put this off much longer and made himself a promise. After New York - whether I've talked to Brandi or not? Right now he had to nip this in the bud before an explosive Leigh decided to throw another wrench into the works. "Good morning, ladies?" Leighanne's mouth had already opened when Kevin made his appearance. She snapped it shut when his eyes bore down on her, daring her to say another word. Again she shifted back into her 'sweetness and light' mode. "Well, hello Kevin?" she smiled. "I was just telling Connie how much we'd all miss her when she leaves us on Sunday!" Kevin frowned, wondering how Leighanne managed to change her demeanor so completely and, to the untrained eye - so convincingly. Poor Brian?he doesn't have a prayer? Little did he know that Leighanne was prepared to push the envelope this morning. She barely took a breath before she continued. "It'll be good for Connie to see her old friends, though. Why, I'll bet she has some old boyfriend in New York - don't you Connie? Everybody has a special someone around - someone they'll never really forget or", Leighanne cut her eyes deliberately towards Kevin. "Someone they shouldn't forget." Connie slowly dried a glass and gazed out of the kitchen window. She was oblivious to Leighanne's real point. She began to get a little agitated as she wondered if Leigh was fishing for information about her past. Kevin, of course, knew exactly what Leighanne was getting at. After all, he was her intended target. Hannah cocked her head slightly. Again with the strange remarks?. She could see Kevin's anger building and was curious as to why Leigh's remark should hit such a sore spot with him. He was about to speak - or maybe even yell. Leighanne swallowed as her brows shot up under her bangs. Hannah even thought that she cringed a little. Connie's smart-ass comeback proved to be like a pail of water dumped onto smoldering embers. "Oh? You mean like your old boyfriend Joe Pesci." Reactions were swift and blatant. Leighanne looked as if she had been slapped and then pissed on. Hannah choked and spit a mouth full of pineapple juice into the sink. She managed to spray part of the counter top and Connie's elbow, as well. Kevin glanced quickly towards Connie, Where in the hell had she heard about that? almost as shocked as Leighanne had been. He made a conscious attempt to maintain his scowl which, more often than not, was an almost natural expression for Kevin but he couldn't hold it to save his life. Connie was looking wide-eyed and innocent but Kevin saw the spark in her eyes. Her punch almost hit below Leigh's belt but considering the circumstances, it was a legal throw. He burst into gales of laughter - totally at Leighanne's expense. Leighanne's comeback was not nearly as creative. "You deaf bitch." Kevin saw red. His eyes flashed angrily but before he could intercede, Connie spoke again. "What, Leigh? Did you say something?" "I said, "You deaf bitch!" "What" "Deaf bitch - you!" "I'm sorry, Leigh. I can't hear you..? Leighanne clenched her fists. She was turning purple. "DEAF BITCH! YOU'RE A DEAF BITCH!" "Doff beach? I don't understand," Connie said apologetically. Leighanne was too angry and egocentric to understand that Connie was, once again, playing her smart-ass card. She stamped her foot like a child, spun around and stormed out of the room like a small, blond tornado, mumbling curses along the way. Kevin watched Connie smile slightly at Leighanne's dramatic departure, shake her head and turn back to the sink where she rinsed out a sponge and began wiping up the evidence of Hannah's spitting spree. "Introduce me, Kevin..." came a voice from behind Kevin s right shoulder. "I think I like her" Kevin knew who the voice belonged to. He had forgotten that Amanda was arriving last night.
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