CHAPTER 45 Phrases and events filtered through Connie's mind as she gazed out at the clouds from her window seat in first-class. The book in her lap remained opened but no pages had been turned. It was a matter of course that flight personnel be aware of any passengers with disabilities in case of an emergency and so, Connie received the occasional tap on the shoulder from an attentive crewmember whose job was to insure her comfort as well as her safety. What she wanted was to be left alone so she finally closed her eyes and feigned sleep. She never thought that she would have fallen in love so hard, so fast, so unexpectedly. Along with the realization that she was in love with Kevin Richardson came the realization that she would have to deal with Kevin Backstreet. Although he had remained busy since she had met him, she knew that these past couple of months had almost been like a hiatus for him. It had angered Kevin that she tried so hard not to need him - that she was afraid he would let her down and hurt her has others had done in the past. He was right. Emotionally, Connie was afraid of being hurt and broken-hearted but there was also a practical concern. Kevin would not be there much of the time. She'd seen the itinerary from the last tour and knew that even if they committed to each other, they would spend much of their lives apart. Connie felt she had to hang on to her career. She'd spent a long time learning to be self-reliant and had seen what had happened to many women who weren't. She also needed the stimulation and satisfaction that her work brought her. She wanted it all. Kevin had seen her at her worst now. There were no more deep, dark secrets. Things she hadn't confessed, he had discovered on his own. Her assumptions about those discoveries had twisted dramatically and had left her a bit confused and unsure. His realization that Connie's fear and helplessness provided sexual stimulation for Trevor Abbott didn't turn him away as she had expected. Instead, she found herself turning, ashamed of the role she was forced to play in Trevor's sadistic dramas. She knew that Kevin wanted her to need him and yet she had been cool with him, shutting him out for a little while as regained her balance. They hadn't made love for several days. He was waiting for her signals and she hadn't given them. In all honesty,
Connie was unconsciously testing Kevin to a certain degree.
Most couples went through 'testing' periods in their relationships.
Despite Kevin's angry words and hurtful comments, he continued
to pass muster, showing remorse, compassion and understanding.
The desperate nature of his last kiss still stung Connie's
lips and somewhere over "Can you hear yourself, Connie? Do you know what you sound like when I touch you? When I make you cum?" "No... I can feel vibrations in my throat sometimes - constrictions and sighs. Why?" She had suddenly felt pangs of embarrassment and envisioned herself shrieking like a banshee or, even worse, grunting like a pig. "Is it awful?" she whispered, anticipating the worst and hoping he wouldn't laugh at her. "Aww, baby..." Kevin had smiled the tenderest of smiles as his fingers had traced her pouting lips. "You sound like music - the most beautiful music I ever heard..." Before her plane
landed, Connie had made a decision. She
would be returning to ***** Where in the hell is Leighanne? Kevin stomped through the house looking for his nemesis in the more likely places. He banged on Brian's bedroom door, checked out the media room, gazed out at the pool and searched the exercise room. Then he heard the unmistakable sound of Leigh's bitching coming from an unlikely place - the room that housed the washing machine and dryer. Kevin peeked into the laundry room in time to watch Leigh ream Nick a new asshole. "You little pervert! What do you think you're doing playing with my underwear!" "I ain't playing with your damn underwear, Leighanne! You're shit's been in the dryer all morning! Other people got clothes to wash besides you! I was just movin' your shit out of the way!" "You were looking at my panties!" Leighanne screamed. "You've got some balled up in your fist right now!" Her manicured finger cut through the air and pointed accusingly at Nick's right hand. "Panties?" Nick shook a strip of black tricot from his hand and held it up in front of his face. "These are panties?" he asked incredulously as he peered back at her through a leg opening. "Are these supposed to cover somethin' up? I thought this was some kind of girlie slingshot or somethin'..." "It's a thong, you ass!" Leighanne jerked the panties from Nick's fingers. "Oh... " Nick reached down into the laundry basket and pulled out a more substantial pair of Leigh's underpants. "I was gonna throw these away when I saw them. I think they're 'seconds' or somethin'. I noticed they got this...well - this opening where there shouldn't oughta be one..." Leigh's face colored
vividly as Nick displayed a pair of red crotchless
panties, a recent purchase from "They're not defective!" Leigh hissed, grabbing the lace and throwing it back into the basket. They were both startled by the sound of Kevin's voice in the doorway. "Leigh, I want to talk to you for a minute.." "Great!" Leighanne scowled. "How long have you been lurking there? Did you hide behind the door long enough to get a good look at my intimate apparel?" Nick decided to translate. "She means her drawers..." "Oh, I know what she means..." Kevin drawled with deadpan sarcasm. "Yes, Leigh, you have finally fulfilled my fantasy." Kevin said flatly. "I can't tell you how many nights I've laid in bed wondering about your drawers..." "Ha...ha... " Leigh returned with an equal amount of scorn. She picked up the basket and set it oh her hip. "What do you want, oh Witty One?" "I want to ask you about Brandi..." Kevin then turned his glare to Nick. "Time to say 'bye', Nick..." ***** Hannah was sitting at the kitchen table when Nick was unceremoniously pushed out of the laundry room. The door slammed behind him and he stood for a moment, leaning against the frame, trying to hear the conversation inside. Damn, Kevin turned the dryer back on... Hannah watched him curiously. He hadn't seen her yet. "What in the hell are you doing, Carter?" Nick jumped a foot into the air. He didn't have to turn around to know who was questioning him. "Uh...nothin', Hannah..." He turned and offered her a plastic smile. "Who's in there?" "Uh..." Nick stumbled for an answer, hoping that Saint Bullshit - the patron saint of good excuses - would take mercy on him. Unfortunately, Saint Lie Detector was in Hannah's corner, as usual. Saint Bullshit didn't have a prayer. "Spill it. You got some girl in there leaning against the machine waiting for the spin cycle to start?" she teased. Nick didn't get it. His brows furrowed and for a moment he was distracted enough to forget his curiosity about Leigh and Kevin's conversation. Hannah shook her head and lit a cigarette. "Never mind..." she said, rolling her eyes. A muffled roar from behind the door escaped and landed within earshot of Hannah. "Goddamn it, Leigh!" Hannah's eyes narrowed as she put down her smoke. She focused her stare on Nick, whose lips had suddenly gone dry. He began to lick them nervously. "Is that Kevin in there?" Hannah frowned. "Uh...yeah... I think so." Nick stammered. He knew that lying would be useless. "I think he, uh...had some clothes to wash...." "With Leighanne?" Hannah's arms had crossed over her chest. Her frown had deepened. "Uhhh... Yeah...Ummm...she's washing, too - I think..." "And this a team chore that requires privacy on their part?" Hannah's voice bore a distinct edge. She didn't like where her imagination was carrying her. She recalled Leighanne's words about Kevin being a player and remembering her remark about 'old friends'. It was obvious that Leigh didn't want Connie around but Hannah had never really considered that Leighanne's disdain might be based in jealousy. Kevin and Brian are family, for God's sake! She rose slowly from the table and beckoned Nick to come to her, which he did, only because he knew he had no choice. Then Hannah pinned him against the sink and asked the question. "Nick, if you don't tell me the fucking truth, you're going to be hitting higher notes than Howie. Yes or no... Is Kevin screwing Leighanne?" Nick looked as if he had been slapped. His brain fought against itself as his libido attempted to conjure up an unthinkable image. The very idea of Kevin and Leighanne together created the same kind of mental conflict that arose from the age old question 'Does sound exist if nobody's there to hear it'?. He stared wide-eyed at Hannah with his mouth hanging open. He was stupefied. "Huh?" "You heard me, Nick!" Hannah shouted angrily. "Kevin's nailing that titty-infested blond, isn't he? That's why Connie pissed her off so bad!" Hannah grabbed Nick's shirt by the collar. "And she couldn't say a damn thing because of Brian!" "N-No, Hannah! Really! Kevin isn't..." "Don't you lie to me, Nick! Something's going on around here and has been ever since Kevin and Connie connected! I could smell it like stink on shit! I knew it involved that opportunistic bitch but I thought better of Kevin! I was actually believing that son of a bitch when he told me he was in love with Connie!" Hannah was beyond incensed and Nick began to panic and sputter, trying to defend Kevin. "He did!" Nick choked. "I mean, he does! He really does!" "I told you to tell me the truth! I like you, Nick. I thought you were honest with me! Don't insult me by lying!" "I ain't lyin', Hannah! Honest to God, Kevin ain't fuckin' Leigh. It's Brandi..." Shit...Nick's eyes closed slowly in defeat as he felt Hannah's hold on him loosen. Christ, I've really done it now... Why didn't I just wear dirty socks today?... shit, shit, shit... "Brandi? Who the hell is Brandi?" Hannah's voice had become eerily calm, which only added to Nick's sense of foreboding. He only wanted out of this but he had both feet stuck deep in the muck now. "She's...she's.. Oh, hell, Hannah! I think you should talk to Kevin if you have questions about him!" That was about all the defiance Nick could summon. He swallowed and looked at Hannah, silently pleading for escape. "Oh, I will... Don't you worry about that. But first, you and I are going to have a little 'heart to heart' on the beach. Now." ***** Kevin leaned against the dryer and rubbed his temples. He and Leighanne had been going at it for fifteen minutes and nothing had been resolved. The only difference between this discussion and the exchanges they'd had in the past was that Leighanne seemed a little less confident. He had made the mistake of becoming angry as soon as she began her defensive attack and now he just wanted to take a breath and try once more. All he had wanted to know was where Brandi could be found. He had been trying to get in touch with her but had failed. He wanted to break it off with her and he didn't want to do it over the phone or through a computer. Leigh had pled ignorance and then cut loose with a litany that would have made a sailor blush but her protests and arguments seemed slightly strained and she appeared downright uneasy. "Leigh..." Kevin began once more. "Listen to me. Please." The gentleness in Kevin's voice seized Leighanne by the gut. She didn't want to listen to him. She knew what he was going to say and she didn't want to hear it. After Brandi's call, she had begun to feel confused. Brandi hadn't sounded hurt or sad when Leigh told her about Kevin's interest in Connie. She hadn't even been mad. In fact, she had laughed at Leigh's concern. Now Kevin was pleading with her to listen. He was going to open up. He sounded serious and sincere. Leigh didn't like this. She could handle Kevin and her own self-righteousness better when he yelled and got pissed. "NO!" She had almost made it to the door - almost got away before Kevin's words reached her ears. "I'm in love with Connie, Leigh. I don't want to be without her. I need her." After a pause, he added. "I never needed Brandi and you know it. Let's be honest, Leighanne. She doesn't need me either - not in the way a woman should need a man. She needs Kevin Backstreet, not me..." ***** Cartier's was a wonderful store - chock full of shiny baubles. You could even buy a tiara there or have one made, if you were so inclined. Brandi wasn't shopping for a tiara, though. A ring would be all she needed. Ten years ago, she bought into the romantic notion that engagement rings should be surprises. She'd read the 'proposal' stories - the ones where women would discover a ring in a box of candy or tied around a long stemmed rose. This was much better. She could pick out what suited her, not what someone else thought might suit her. She examined the case carefully before settling on a selection to choose from. The jeweler had suggested that she consider a colored stone, but no - that wouldn't do. Brandi wanted there to be no doubt or speculation as to the significance of the ring. After much consideration, she finally chose a traditional diamond. 'Traditional' is a word that could be debated, however. This ring was anything but traditional as far as carat weight and cost went. It was amazingly
easy to secure the ring. Brandi only had to ask that the purchase be billed to Mr.
Richardson. Nary an eyebrow was raised
at this request. Show business types
rarely did things in a conventional way - including shopping for
an engagement ring. Besides, she was somewhat of a regular customer. Brandi was not unknown in She would surprise
Kevin later in the week by showing up in ***** All Hannah could do was pace. After corralling Nick for more than an hour on the beach, she finally had some idea of what was going on - what had been going on from the beginning. Now she didn't know what to do. Nick was clearly on Kevin's side in this twisted mess. What threw Hannah was that he was on Connie's side, too. She threw down one cigarette and immediately lit another. That kid had fucked up her brain and Hannah, who usually looked at things as black or white, was forced to consider the gray tones. She tried to sort out the characters in this complicated spectacle but it wasn't easy. Kevin is linked to an actress for two years, even though they both see other people. This actress is a friend of Leighanne's who plan's to marry Kevin's cousin... Hannah could feel a headache coming on. The general consensus was that they would probably end up married one day, although there had been no actual proposal yet. Enter Connie O' Rourke who unwittingly throws a major wrench into the works. Kevin wants Connie, not Brandi. Connie doesn't know about Brandi. Does Brandi know about Connie?... "Shit..." Hannah flung the
match from her fingers. She had been concentrating on the problem at hand and not
on the flame which had reached her fingertips.
All of the sorting had not produced any solutions.
She had immediately sought Kevin when she returned to the
house only to find that he had decided to go to Hannah's need for some confirmation and intelligent, non-judgmental discussion about this triangle came to an end with a simple request. "Got a light?"
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