CHAPTER 63

The sounds coming from Connie’s stomach are what woke him up. Gurgles and growls vibrated against his cheek as his head lay pressed against her bare belly. She moved a little and then he heard her sigh.

“I think somebody’s hungry,” he smiled against her skin.

Then he remembered that she couldn’t hear him and he raised his head. Her eyes were still closed but Kevin found a deep satisfaction in her position and expression. She looked peaceful and contented despite her hunger pangs. His movement caused her to frown.

“Get back down there,” she muttered, tapping his head. “Don’t move. I like you there…”

Kevin laid his head back down, pleased to hear a little sassiness in her tone. He liked laying there, too, feeling the curve of her belly against his face, the tickle of her pubis against his chest, her calves falling against his buttocks. He tried to ignore the pressure that was building up in his bladder. Shit…

He squirmed a bit and the began to push himself up Connie’s body, planting tiny kisses along the way and pausing at her breast to taste its tip. The softened nipple held a certain fascination for Kevin. The ‘songwriter’ in him searched for a word or phrase to describe this part of Connie’s anatomy. He tended to visualize Connie in terms of color – rust colored curls, skin the color of cream – but he didn’t think he could come up with a lyric that would include the phrase ‘pink-lemonade’. That’s it…. Her nipples are the color of pink-lemonade… Kevin enjoyed a renewed sense of control as he felt the softened bud harden and reshape itself in his mouth. He pressed his teeth against it, testing its turgidity.

“Stop that!” Connie scolded, pulling at his hair.

Kevin lifted his face to find her staring at him. A small smile curled her lips.

“Aww, you don’t mean that, baby… I know you like it…” Kevin make his point by flicking his tongue across her breast.

“You sound pretty confident….”

“Your body talks to me, Connie,” Kevin informed her as he pushed himself to her side and propped himself up on his elbow.

“Oh?” Connie’s eyebrows shot up. “And what does it say?”

“It says your hungry, for one thing…”

“How about a tongue sandwich, then?” she grinned.

Kevin had missed her teasing and easy banter. He really didn’t get much of that. He couldn’t recall when he had last felt so comfortable and at ease, but he knew that he had been with her when he did. Why is it that the person who can make you feel your worst also has the power to make you feel your best?

“Sorry, baby. I gotta take a leak…”

Connie’s expression conveyed mock indignation. “Gee, Kevin the Romantic… You’re quite the sweet-talker, aren’t you…”

He laughed as he pulled himself out of the bed and headed for the bathroom, naked as the day he was born and almost as modest. He didn’t bother to close the door.

*****

They spent the early evening at the grocery store which proved to be an unexpected trial of sorts. It’s surprising how much you can discover about your partner in the aisles of a Publix. The first thing that Connie discovered was that, in her opinion, Kevin was lousy at trying to go someplace incognito. The scarf he had tied around his black hair, sweatshirt hood and the wide sunglasses only screamed ‘Look at Me!’ as far as Connie was concerned. Fortunately, the store was not very crowded at this time of day and Kevin was only stopped four times by fans. Four interruptions seemed excessive to Connie. Kevin thought he had gotten off easy. He could see that he was going to have to have a long talk with her, especially if she was going to accompany him on tour. She had not followed Backstreet and had no idea….

He liked Dannon yogurt. She preferred Yoplait. He liked smooth peanut butter. She liked crunchy. He grabbed the cheddar. She picked up the Colby. He put a box of bran flakes next to her Count Chocula.

“I think we need separate carts…” Kevin said slowly.

“Maybe this time…” Connie agreed. “We’ll make a list or something next time.”

“I can’t believe you eat chocolate cereal…”

“I can’t believe you eat geriatric cereal…”

“Maybe we can compromise next time.” Kevin offered. “We’ll get those mini-wheat things or something…”

“The frosted ones. Okay?” As Kevin’s eyes rolled behind his glasses, Connie reached up to the shelf beside her and grabbed a box of Super Plus Tampons, which she tossed casually into the basket. “You ready to finish up?”

Kevin stared at the blue box. He realized then, that he had some unforeseen lifestyle adjustments to make. Jeeeeeez…. “I’d better go get that cart…” he choked.

During the ride back to the house, it was decided that Connie would do the shopping. Kevin would unload and put away – except for things that came in a blue box.

When they got back home, they put groceries away and stood side by side in the kitchen constructing monster sandwiches. In Clearwater, it had usually been ‘every man for himself, but here a different dynamic came into play. Kevin and Connie were each making mental notes of the others likes and dislikes – even to the point of sandwich making. They still had a lot to learn about each other.

“Damn, you really like mayonnaise, don’t you?”

“Dill pickles are alright, but I like sweet better…”

“Want some chips?”

“No thanks. Where are those Doritos?”

“These peaches look good…”

“Yeah, they do but I’ll get a Ding Dong…”

“Coke?”

“Pepsi, please…”

After dinner, Kevin showed Connie around the house, taking special pride in the office he had prepared for her work. Connie was impressed, as well as touched, realizing that he had done all of this for her while she had been in New York. She had not failed to notice the candles in his bedroom, either, and guessed that he had placed those there as a romantic gesture before the shit had hit the fan. The sensitive ‘hard-ass’… The days spent together in Clearwater, as emotional and angst ridden as they had been, would prove to be a honeymoon period of sorts for Kevin and Connie. In Orlando, they would get down to day-to-day living. This would prove to be a real testing time without the distractions of sharing a house with others and she knew that Kevin would be tested more severely than she would be. It would take a real bone-deep love for them to make this work. He’ll get irritated when I don’t answer the phone or the door. He’ll get tired of closed-captioned TV. He’ll become frustrated because he can’t share a large part of his life with me – his music. And then he’ll feel guilty about his feelings…

Connie took a breath as she watched Kevin continue to speak, proudly pointing out the great pains he had taken to make her office comfortable. He was a sweet and kind man. She just hoped he had what it would take to love her for the long haul. Bits and pieces of advice she’d received from hearing and non-hearing friends alike played out in her memory. Never works out with a hearing man… Stick with your own… They mean well but they don’t get it… Soon they resent you… resent you…

“Connie? Want to check it out or not?” Kevin had turned on the computer and was awaiting her decision.

“What?” she asked, trying to redirect her thoughts. “Oh - no, I don’t want to deal with any work tonight. You have rehearsals and meetings tomorrow. I’ll get back to work then…”

Kevin smiled, pleased with her choice and grabbed her by the hand.

“Let’s put your things away then, and maybe we’ll sit back and watch a movie…”

“Only if you take that bandana off…” Connie teased.

“I will if you will….”

“I’m not wearing a bandana, Richardson…”

“I’ll think of something for you to take off…” Kevin grinned as he pulled her down the hallway.

Chapter 64

Jeffrey was going to have a problem with Kevin. He knew it. The tour was scheduled to begin in two weeks and it would be a long, six-week grind. He had been on the phone most of the morning with various Jive execs, insurance and security people and none of them wanted Connie to accompany Kevin on this tour. Her disability had sent them all scrambling into uncharted waters.

Jive was using Connie’s deafness as an excuse to keep her ‘below deck’. They had, along with Backstreet fans, been knocked for a loop when Brandi’s planted column had appeared in the paper. Label publicists and group management had fought to spin the story when it threatened to get out control. When the announcement was retracted, they were relieved but wary. While it was true that Kevin Richardson had no plans to marry Brandi Prosser, it was also true that he did have a serious girlfriend. Super sensitive fans would be quick to second-guess the situation. Was Kevin trying to throw them off-track? Did he dump Brandi for someone else? Who is this red-haired woman he’s been seen with? Is he lying? About what, exactly?

In fact, the label did have a legitimate concern beyond any publicity regarding Kevin’s love life. Connie’s deafness could pose a safety risk, not only to herself but to anyone who might feel the need to protect or ‘rescue’ her from an unsavory situation – notably, Kevin. You couldn’t exactly yell instructions to her if things got out of hand. That, plus the fact that she was totally inexperienced with the phenomena of over zealous fans, made her a definite risk, both to herself and to others in her company. Controlled situations, like press conferences on television appearances were one thing, but the road was something else. They would have to tell Kevin that she couldn’t come along. Rather Jeffrey would have to tell him. It would be a bad start for a relationship already riddled with the problems of fame.

There was one thing that Jeffrey wasn’t aware of and neither were any of the Boys. Although the group had cut as many ties as possible with Lou Pearlman years ago, the label had learned a thing or two from the Master of Manipulation. One of the things it had learned was the impact of ‘negative associations’. Any people that individual members of the group were or became involved with on a personal level were investigated. This applied to friends, family and potential lovers. Leighanne had been investigated, although neither she nor Brian were ever aware of the fact. Nick’s family had been checked out, too. Everybody and anybody with close ties to the group had been checked for possible scandal or potential publicity disasters. There had never really been any serious problem – no drug connections or mob ties or criminal records. There had been, of course, ‘questionable’ alliances and activity but nothing that would damage the Backstreet Boys if it came to light. Even Brandi’s relationships with other men were not considered cause for alarm. Kevin had slept around too, and the ‘openness’ of their relationship had cast a distinct sexual light on the group which had proved to be appealing in a naughty and dangerous sort of way. No one was really too worried about Backstreet. They had been around for a while and had matured. Their fan base was older. ‘N Sync were the ones the label was more concerned about at this point – Joey Fatone, in particular. No, these investigations were merely fact-finding missions. The label did not like surprises. Constance Kendall O’Rourke would have to be checked out, too. She was already being discussed on message boards, lists and in chat rooms. The fact that she was deaf had not been made an issue. That fact was not well known.

Jeffrey had been trying to work on Kevin’s behalf behind the scenes, trying to come up with a plan that would allow Connie to tour freely with the group as so many others had in the past. A year or two ago, this would have been no problem but crowds had grown exponentially and had become more unruly. The group was several days into rehearsals before Jeffrey broached the subject with Kevin. The discussion did not go well. If Connie wanted to travel independently to concerts, that was her right, but she would not be permitted to travel with the group for security and insurance reasons. She would not be named in any policy and if Kevin insisted that she become part of the entourage, no one would be covered. If no one was covered, they would lose their bookings – it was that simple. Kevin really didn’t have a choice.

*****

“But I have my own insurance,” Connie argued.

She stood amid a stack of shopping bags that held clothes and accessories she had bought for the tour. She had even bought a new brief case, assuming that she could work while Kevin took care of Backstreet business. Several new blue pencils lay beside a stack of bound pages.

“I know, baby…”

Kevin stepped closer and combed his fingers through her errant curls. He knew that the matter involved much more than security. New management had given the group a lot of slack when it came to their personal lives but Jive seemed to be taking up where Pearlman left off. Kevin wished that the group had never signed for a five record deal. Jive was getting slimier by the day.

“It’s because I’m deaf, isn’t it?”

When Kevin didn’t respond right away, Connie nodded with a sad sort of acceptance and turned her back to him. He could see her shoulders rise as she took deep breaths. Her disappointment broke his heart, making him feel helpless and if there was anything Kevin detested, it was feeling helpless.

In fact, Kevin had strongly suspected that Connie’s disability was only a part of the problem. He had demanded bluntness from Jeffrey and had gotten it. Security was a consideration. Kevin had had some worries about that, too. Communication would be essential if there were security problems or if movement changes had to be made at the last minute. Kevin had experienced first hand the difficulties in cross-communicating with Connie. He was also well aware of her pride and fear of judgment and doubted that she would want the world to know of her hearing loss. She had struggled for too long to make her deafness a ‘non-issue’ and had been successful. But under these circumstances, it could be an issue. A very serious issue.

Kevin took her arm and turned her gently so she could see his face. “The label is a little worried about your safety, darlin’. That’s all. They’re just being careful. We’ll work out something. I promise..”

Connie tried to be nonchalant but her rapid blinking and stiffness divulged her doubts. “I know,” she nodded, trying to smile. “Don’t worry about this. I was just surprised, that’s all.” Then she pulled herself away and began to gather her purchases together. “How about something to eat?” she said softly, changing the subject. “I actually cooked today… Made some stuffed shells…”

“Connie…”

“You go get your shower,” she cut in. “I’ll get dinner going.” She closed the door behind her and was gone.

Kevin flopped down on the edge of the bed and replayed the conversation …argument… he’d had with their manager. Jeffrey had also mentioned the PR factor. Pop musicians and singers were already ridiculed and put down, ad nauseum. Imagine the field day that the critics would have pointing out that the girlfriend of a member of the biggest pop group ever couldn’t even hear his music or voice. Jeffrey hadn’t repeated to Kevin some of the comments he had already heard. Well, Richardson finally found the perfect woman – someone who doesn’t have to listen to that pap…. At least she doesn’t have to wear ear-plugs like the rest of us do…

Jeffrey had, however, also told him about speculation regarding his current status as far as female attachments were concerned, though he was reluctant to do so. Connie’s name was already popping up on the web and that Jive was a little jumpy. Kevin didn’t care if he and Connie were presented as a ‘couple’. He’d been through enough of that shit with Lou but Jeffrey had forced him to consider the fact that Connie was new to this fan business and that Kevin, for her sake, would do well to proceed slowly. The fans, with help from the press would pick at her like vultures which would not only affect her personally, but might have a negative impact on her career as well. Both were unaware that Jive had already started the picking by looking under the rocks of Connie’s life. They couldn’t tell Kevin Richardson, or any of the Boys, who to love but they could sure as hell start supplying themselves information in case they had to spin any rumors in the right direction.

*****

Connie was setting the table when Kevin came back into the kitchen. He just watched her for a minute or two as she straightened napkins and laid out flatware. He liked having her here with him and knew that he would need her on the road. Jeffrey had made valid points but his heart had a few points of its own to deal with. He was still watching her when Connie glanced up to see him leaning against the wall. She smiled at him with a slight uneasiness and then became overly animated in her attempt to dispel the tension and hurt that had surfaced earlier.

“Why don’t we have some wine with dinner tonight?” she chirped, arranging the glasses yet again. “There’s a bottle of Merlot in the…”

“Connie…” Kevin interrupted.

“Of course, if you don’t want wine, I made a pitcher of…”

“I’ll do something about this, Connie. We’re not going to be apart for six weeks.”

Connie hesitated for a moment and then continued on cheerfully. Too cheerfully…

“Well, I was thinking, Kevin… My work is pretty portable and since you’re going to be…busy, I thought I may as well go on back to New York while you’re on the road. I don’t really know anyone here in Orlando.”