CHAPTER 74

Connie waited, expecting Kevin to expand on his remark about the letter but he said nothing else. After a few uncomfortable seconds, he turned on his heel and began to walk to the back of the house. It was difficult for Connie to read his expression. She wasn’t sure what he was feeling or thinking and wondered if the letter had added to his anger or if his frustration was more personal. It felt personal.

He would be leaving in the morning and they wouldn’t be together again for many days. While Kevin might be content to let his frustration fester all night, Connie was not willing to spend the precious hours watching him grunt with undefined irritation. She waited for about a minute and then followed. Kevin was already in bed and his body was turned towards the edge of his side of the bed – a clear signal that he wasn’t interested in clearing the air or discussing his ‘problem’. That was too bad….

The only light in the room came through a crack in the bathroom door. Kevin had raised a window and now, drafts of cool air caused the sheer, netted curtains to billow slightly. He liked for it to be cool in the bedroom. Connie had learned that Kevin liked cocooning in blankets or down and had said that a cool bedroom made for ‘quality cuddling’. She glanced down at his face. His eyes were closed but his breathing pattern indicated that he was awake. Kevin could fall asleep quickly, but not his quickly, especially when he was troubled about something. Connie turned away and stepped over to the chest. She didn’t try to be quiet as she opened the bottom drawer, hoping that he would ‘wake up’ and express irritation at her lack of consideration.

She had learned early on that Kevin sometimes needed to be ‘pushed’ into opening himself up as far as personal matters were concerned. Coaxing didn’t always work. In fact, her limited experience showed that coaxing never worked if he was feeling petulant or stubborn. Most of the time he was very plain and open about his feelings and opinions. Sometimes he was a little too blunt and that had created problems for him in the past – especially with the media. But when he was troubled with private difficulties, Kevin was often reticent, expecting the perpetrator of his misery to become psychic and take the initiative to rectify tensions.

Connie and Kevin had spent a fair amount of time banging heads from the first day they met. Despite frequent disagreements on mundane matters, they seemed to compliment each other quite well. Connie could hold her ground with Kevin – go toe to toe if necessary – and that had surprised him at first. She was not easily intimidated by his ‘authority’ and he had grown to respect that quality. In fact, he was often amused by her refusal to bend. Sometimes, he would deliberately torment her just to get her riled but this type of teasing never lasted and never ended on a sour note. Besides, Connie knew how to pick her battles. It hadn’t taken her long to learn to evaluate Kevin’s moods and pinpoint the roots of his frustrations. Tonight, his irritation was not rooted in injustice or betrayal. This was pure ego…

The others in the group were often baffled by Kevin and Connie’s relationship. They had seen Connie cling to Kevin for protection, which he had given willingly, proudly and without hesitation. They had also seen her stand up to him and had watched his disbelief at her opposition turn into affectionate veneration before their eyes. They were yin and yang – each supplying what the other needed or lacked while allowing emotional balance and equality. Love had been built upon mutual respect. Recognition of their differences was an ongoing process but so far, any resulting conflicts had been overcome.

Kevin could be an extremely passionate, affectionate and charming man. He could also be quite cold, secretive and brutal. What he had discovered in Connie had surprised him. In spite of her infirmity, her troubled past with Trevor and her fears that had resulted from both, Kevin found a strength in her that he had never encountered in a woman before. It was a strength that he hadn’t realized he needed. Here was a woman who understood his pride and need for control but who also knew that there were times when he felt weak, alone and misunderstood. These were times that he needed her to take care of him - emotionally, physically and sexually. Probably the most profound proof of his feelings for her was that he allowed her to see this need and allowed himself to be cared for. For Kevin, it was a leap of faith that had been rewarded with unspoken acts of trust. His times of need never diminished her respect for him. His manhood was never bruised or faulted.

The fact that they were unquestionably compatible sexually, was gravy. They still had plenty to work through and learn about each other but for the first time in his life, Kevin felt the comfort of having complete confidence in another person. If only he could find that confidence in himself…

Connie walked across the bedroom, reached into her drawer and withdrew a short gown – a sexy little satin number she had bought when she thought she would be joining Kevin on tour. Then she slammed the drawer shut with a force that she hoped would produce a loud bang. Connie’s eyes fell on her hairbrush. She picked it up and after ‘accidentally’ dropping it onto the chest’s unyielding surface, she began to pull the brush through her hair, counting the strokes out loud – ‘loud’ being the key word.

“One…two…three…”

Kevin’s eyes had popped open when the drawer had slammed shut. He had been staring at her back since then, waiting for her to realize that she had disturbed him. She didn’t turn and he grew even more annoyed.

“Four…five…six…”

She knew he was staring at her but, still, she wouldn’t turn. Connie could feel his eyes on her, like two tiny lasers, beamed at her back. She would have almost bet that she had two red dots of light projected onto her back. No – make that two green lights…

“Seven…eight…nine…”

Finally, the lamp on the bedside table came on, flooding the room with light. Connie acted startled and spun around, the bristles of her brush caught in her curls mid-stroke.

“Kevin! I thought you were asleep!”

“Kinda hard to sleep with all the racket you’re makin’…” he frowned.

Connie pulled the brush through her hair and dropped her head. “Sorry… Sometimes I forget…”

“Yeah…”

The exchange seemed to grind to a halt and after a second or two of silence, Kevin began to reach back to the lamp. He was going to turn it off. Connie had to do some quick thinking…

“You seem a little tense tonight, Kevin. Are you nervous about the tour or something? I thought you really liked touring…”

Kevin’s hand froze in mid-air. When he faced her again, his frown had grown into a glower. “I’ve been tense the whole damn day, Connie! Nice of you to finally notice…”

His sarcasm was unmistakable, even to a deaf person. You didn’t have to hear his caustic tone – reading his face was enough. He nodded as he spoke and his eyes rolled in exasperation over his pursed lips. Connie kept pushing.

“You weren’t tense this morning…” she smiled playfully, tapping her hairbrush against her thigh. She began to look thoughtful. “And after we….you know…. I was trying to decide what to wear tonight and then….”

“Yeah.” Kevin butt in. “The clothes. How could I forget?” Kevin jumped out of the bed and stepped over to Connie for a full-frontal appraisal. “You told me you were going to wear a skirt and sweater!”

Connie looked at him, puzzled, and then down at the clothes she was wearing. “Skirt,” she said as she pointed to her hip. Her finger rose to her abdomen. “Sweater.” What in the hell is wrong with him?

Kevin’s mouth curled into patronizing smugness. “No,” he spat. “Not just ‘skirt’-‘sweater’…. More like ‘ Skin-tight, fuzzy, touch me’ sweater! If that thing didn’t have that fuzz all over it..”

“It’s angora!” Connie pouted.

“Whatever the fuck it is,” he continued, “If it wasn’t all furry – fuzzy – whatever – you’d be able to see your nipples through it ‘cause it’s so damn tight! Except for the neckline which appears to be stretched or something because it keeps falling off your shoulder! And, I might add, that I don’t see any bra straps anywhere which tells me that you’re hanging pretty loose in there….”

“I’m wearing a bra!” Connie protested. “Ever hear of a strapless?”

“Yeah!” Kevin shot back. “I’ve heard of a strapless but I ain’t never heard of a leather dishtowel being used for a skirt! That thing’s so tight I can practically see your crack! Course, I don’t guess Lachey was looking at that since he could see all the way up your thigh thanks to that split! Tell me, Connie, did he like the garter belt?”

The evening had taken an unexpected turn. Things were getting a little more heated than Connie had planned. Not only was Kevin thoroughly pissed but she was getting heated herself. Her ‘heat’ was not totally emotional, however. Connie was surprised to find herself somewhat aroused and judging by the bulge that was beginning to take shape in Kevin’s boxers, the sexual overtones of their fight was affecting him in a similar way.

Chapter 74

“How did you know I was wearing a garter belt?”

Connie was momentarily sidetracked. She had purchased the satin creation with the pre-meditated intention to seduce - not Nick Lachey, of course, but Kevin. She had wanted this item of lingerie to be kind of a surprise. Kevin hadn’t seen her in a garter belt before and she had counted on catching him off-guard.

“I saw it when you were wrapped around Carlos like some kind of human tourniquet!” he growled. “I saw it and so did every cop in the station! You could hardly miss it with that dishtowel hiked up to your ass!” Kevin crossed his arms and let his eyes travel down Connie’s legs with a triumphant sneer. “The patterned stockings are a nice touch, baby. I don’t know why I didn’t notice them when you were leaving the house. They kinda look like those fishnet things that strippers are so fond of wearin’.” Kevin took a step forward and flipped the back of his hand towards her. The gesture was clearly dismissive.“No wonder that cop thought you were a hooker!”

An hour ago, Connie would have been hurt by his callous and spiteful tirade. Now, however, watching Kevin practically strut in all of his sanctimonious glory, her anger rose form a bubble to a boil. Connie could feel her face getting hot. He had been embarrassed and was going to take his discomfort out on her. She suspected that she was giving Kevin the reaction he desired, but she was determined to have the last word.

“Well, I’m sure you would know, Kevin,” she murmured, taking a step backwards. “I’ve heard that you’re quite an expert when it comes to strip clubs… I don’t know about hookers but you seem to, so I guess you’re an expert in that department, too….”

Connie’s voice may have seemed calm but it was a struggle for her to maintain a cavalier attitude. She found that a small knot had formed in her throat when she noticed Kevin’s eyes darken and narrow at her accusation. She was playing with fire and, judging from Kevin’s expression, she wondered which of them would end up with burns. He almost seemed to be egging her on. At what cost, she wasn’t sure. His lips began to move once more but now his arms had fallen to his side. She could see his muscles tense as his fingers knotted into fists.

“I’ve never paid for it in my life…,” he snarled. “And I don’t like my woman lookin’ like she’s got somethin’ to sell…”

’My woman’? Did he really say that? Connie had mistakingly though that her crime had been embarrassing the mighty Kevin Richardson in front of strangers and his peers. She thought that he was pissed at the potential tabloid fodder that the incident could have created – that his anger had been fueled by her failure to tow the Backstreet line. But, no. His fury had been born from an unexpected blow to his most delicate and sensitive region – his ego – which was nourished by possessiveness, reinforced by control and, if necessary, domination.

This was not how she had intended for this scenario to play. She hadn’t planned on this level of intensity, but now she realized that she had inadvertently taken Kevin’s control away. She would have to force him to take it back. Giving it back to him by being apologetic or meek wouldn’t do – it would give him no power. So Connie decided to make one final, calculated remark in reply to his last statement. These seven words would constitute her final ‘push’.

“Really?” she purred, mustering the sum of her acting ability. “Why, Nick seemed to like it….”

*****

It was no surprise that Connie’s adventure had already spread down the Backstreet hotline. AJ had prodded Marcus into calling Carlos for the scoop when Brian had proved to be less than forthcoming. The truth was that Brian wasn’t really sure what had happened and judging from his cousin’s sober demeanor leaving the police station, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. The same could not be said for Leighanne…

AJ’s unfailing curiosity had finally been rewarded and he had his story. He thought it was hilarious and couldn’t wait to spread the word to his bandmates. Their reaction wasn’t what he thought it would be. They didn’t seem to be focusing on the absurdity of the situation like he was. Howie and Nick had moved right past the humor factor into serious speculation concerning Kevin’s possible reaction. Brian had seen Kevin’s darkness in the car and felt the tension. Only AJ seemed to have missed the potential for disaster. As far as he was concerned, most of Connie and Kevin’s entire relationship thus far, could be the basis of an award winning sitcom hybrid – Lucy Ricardo meets Archie Bunker.

*****

There was silence – and then there was Silence… Connie had learned to live with day-to-day, routine soundlessness. It was still difficult sometimes but she’d had no choice but to accept her fate as gracefully as possible. The Silence she was experiencing now, watching Kevin, was different. This Silence had weight. She could almost taste it. She wanted to avert her eyes from Kevin’s and pretend she hadn’t noticed the slight flare in his nostrils as his breath quickened or the rhythmic clenching of his jaw, but she couldn’t. She had expected one of two things to happen – either Kevin would blow and start screaming at her and throwing things, or he would attempt to remain cool – perhaps he would laugh at her comment or shrug and crawl back into bed as if he weren’t bothered by what she had said.

What she didn’t expect was Kevin’s lightening fast movement as he grabbed he by the waist, pinching the skin as he held fast. Her feet left the floor and her body began to move backwards across the bedroom. He was lifting her by her waist and carrying her as if she were a piece of furniture. Instinctively, Connie began batting at Kevin’s shoulders with her hands and kicking but he never slowed. His sudden move had startled her and she had stiffened, unwittingly aiding him in his task. Had she gone limp in his hands, he would have had difficulty moving her.

She knew she was yelling. She could feel her throat constrict with each word but Kevin appeared not to notice. He didn’t look at her. He didn’t speak. All of Connie’s wriggling and protests accomplished nothing. She felt like some inanimate object being moved to a more favorable location.

Finally, he stopped and lowered her to the floor. When she looked into his face, he was staring past her, over her left shoulder. Kevin was sweating now and his lips had parted. But he hadn’t released her.

What is he doing? Why did he carry me over here? Connie glanced behind herself. What she saw was their reflection in the oversized, full-length mirror that was fastened to the wall of the alcove beside the closet. When she turned back to him, puzzled and increasingly wary. Kevin was staring at her. His eyes looked a little glazed. The corners of his mouth had turned up a little but the smile seemed sinister and cruel. God… I pushed too hard… Kevin looked slightly mad.

Then he began to speak. He wasn’t yelling. He didn’t look angry. In fact, Connie suspected that Kevin was speaking quite softly. Maybe even tenderly.

“Let me see those satin garters, Connie. You know, the ones that Nick liked…”

Connie wanted desperately to diffuse this situation but could barely swallow the tension that was lodged in her throat. Her mouth felt dry and scratchy – like sandpaper. Despite her nervousness, she attempted to chuckle.

“Oh, Kevin… You know I was just kidding, darling! Nick never even commented on what I was wearing tonight. I don’t even think he noticed. He certainly didn’t see any garters…”

Kevin broke into a wide grin. His mouth was smiling but his eyes remained cold and hard.

“Oh, Connie…. Connie, Connie, Connie….,” he laughed, shaking his head. “You’re such a tease… Why in the world would you say such a thing to me?”

“I-I’m sorry, Kevin. Really… I was try-trying to get your goat a little. You know, make you a little mad so maybe you’d talk to me. You were being so sullen, and…”

“You were trying to get me pissed?” Kevin asked wide-eyed as he fumbled with Connie’s zipper. “Well baby, I gotta tell you….” Kevin’s fingers dug into the waistband of the black skirt and yanked with an astonishing force, causing the glove leather to rip apart at the seams and fall to Connie’s ankles. “….it worked…”