CHAPTER 75

Kevin had gotten the final word after all. Her skirt lay torn at her ankles. Connie stepped backwards only to find herself pressed against the cool glass of the mirror. Almost immediately, Kevin’s large hands wrapped around her waist once more and pulled her back towards him. She wanted to close her eyes and obliterate his anger from her sight but she had to watch his face to know what he was saying. As much as his words and expression frightened her on one level, they titillated her on another. Connie wasn’t afraid of being harmed, humiliated or tortured as she had been with Trevor. Her fear lay in the unknown. She could smell the sweet scent of fermentation in the perspiration that bathed his shoulders and knew that he must have had several drinks at the party. Yet, he didn’t appear to be drunk. She couldn’t blame this dynamic or his oppressive demeanor on alcohol. Kevin knew exactly what he was doing.

“Come ‘ere, Connie…” He was not looking at her as he spoke but at their reflection. “I want to see that fine ass of yours…”

He pulled her back until they were about four feet from the wall and stopped, still staring. Kevin was fully aroused now and aching to free himself from the constraints of his silk boxers. The elastic rested on his hips and pressed against the head of his penis as it pushed itself towards freedom. In his peripheral vision, he could see Connie’s eyes darting back and forth across his lips but he found it hard to break his gaze from the reflection. The soft, white angora was pushed up above her waistline revealing an expanse of slightly moist skin that seemed to go from the edge of her sweater to the tops of her black, patterned stockings. The heels on her shoes were unusually high and had the effect of making her slender legs look longer than usual. Connie’s nakedness was interrupted only by the black satin of the garter belt and a very narrow band of black lace that disappeared between the firm swelling of her cheeks.

“Oh, baby…. A thong, too?”

She thought he might be whispering because he looked a little dazed. Connie found that she was acutely aware of his every nuance, from the shallowness of his breathing to the tension in his arms… From the dilation of his pupils to the brief glimpse of pink behind his lips when his tongue brushed across his teeth as he stared. He was equally aware of her signals. It was almost as if his senses had been heightened along with the tension which had taken on a decidedly sexual edge.

“Loose the sweater, Connie…”

He didn’t help her pull it over her head but still held on firmly to her waist as if she might try to escape. Kevin gazed at her as she obeyed without question or comment. He seemed fascinated as he watched her disrobe, as if he were studying her technique. Once the sweater had been removed, he glanced back at the mirror in order to get a full and unobstructed view of the back side of her body. Another command…

“Drop it.”

The angora fell into a soft pile at his feet.

His eyes dropped to her breasts. The strapless bra was cut very low and, for a brief moment, Kevin wondered how it managed to stay in place. It seemed that if Connie tipped forward even a little, her milky orbs would spill over and out of the cups. One of his hands moved from her waist, up to the clasp on her back and the black lace fell. Her breasts were free.

Kevin let his eyes travel from the first swell of her flesh to the pale buds that rested on the tips. Such a soft pink…. That lemonade color… He wanted to touch them – to move them with the tip of his finger. He wanted to tug at them and to scrape them with his nails. Most of all, he liked to feel them harden in his hands or mouth, feeling them change from tiny soft cushions to sensitive blisters of tissue that demanded his attention. Connie’s nipples had already tightened. No coaxing had been necessary.

Kevin’s face had been almost void of emotion when Connie finally closed her eyes and tried to gather her wits about her. His apparent calm was unnerving – almost challenging. But she knew that the challenge was over. Kevin had already won the contest. When she reopened her eyes, he was staring into the mirror again. Soon she felt his hands begin to graze slowly down her body to her hips and beyond. His fingers brushed back and forth against her backside almost reverently. He was watching himself touch her.

He pushed her from behind, forcing a tight physical connection, and heard Connie’s breath catch in her throat. Her arms had folded across her chest. It was an instinctive move that afforded her a small amount of protection and distance. Kevin lowered his face to hers. Another command:

“Put you arms around me…”

He could feel her heart racing against his chest as her breasts flattened against his skin, their softness punctuated by the tautness of her nipples pressing into his body. He reacted to the sensation by grinding his hardness against her belly and smiled to himself when he heard her suppress a low moan. Connie was shivering. She wasn’t cold. Kevin liked that..

She didn’t try to caress or touch him and that was a good thing. Kevin didn’t want to be touched. He didn’t want her to give him anything. He would take what he wanted – what he needed this night. She could give later. Maybe.

Soon his hands were moving against her buttocks once more; Sometimes squeezing her flesh, sometimes stroking her gently. He bent a little, lowering his head so that their cheeks were touching. Connie could feel his goatee, sliding up and down on the side of her face and then he stopped and rested his bearded chin on her bare shoulder as he studied the reflection. She could feel him smile against her skin as one of his fingers inched its way under the lace covered spandex that disappeared into the cleft of her ass.

As his finger traveled downward, Kevin began to mumble into her neck. His mouth moved on her, forming silent syllables interspersed with an occasional kiss or flick of his tongue. Connie froze as his fingers pushed deeper and lower. She began to feel a little dizzy. Trust and fear collided in her psyche. She knew where he was going with this – what he wanted. They had never done this before. She had never done this before. Trevor had been cruel and demanding, finding untold pleasure by scaring and humiliating her but he had never taken her this way and had never been interested in doing so. To Trevor, asses were for slapping and nothing more.

Kevin was still murmuring when his fingers found her anus. Reflexively, she tensed and tried to pull away, but his free arm tightened around her body, holding her in place and demanding her compliance. She wished she could hear the whispers that fell against her ear….

Connie collapsed a little when he began to probe her and whimpered against his shoulder. Her legs had weakened, forcing Kevin, not only to hold her to him, but to support her as well. He could feel her nails digging into his arms. Her shivering became more intense as his finger moved deeper inside her. Her breaths became ragged. Kevin was transfixed by their image - Connie’s back to the mirror, wearing only high heeled shoes, stockings, garter belt and a thong, which he had moved aside in order explore this uncharted territory. Watching himself finger her this way was almost as provocative and the action itself. Kevin ground himself against her again, not bothering to suppress a guttural groan.

This was new to her. He could tell. He was trying to be gentle – as gentle as he could be, anyway. She was tense and afraid. But she wasn’t fighting him. Good girl… Insertion of a second finger stretched the tight ring of muscle even more and Kevin thought he felt a tear slide down his shoulder. He continued to murmur encouragement, forgetting that she couldn’t hear him.

There was so much happening here, physically and psychologically. Although this act was sexual, it was also an act of domination that had been born of anger and frustration. There was nothing playful about what he was doing to her or what he would do. Maybe one day it would be, but not tonight. This was all about Kevin. He knew it. She knew it. When he removed his fingers, Kevin felt a long-held breath leave her body. Then, reaching down a little farther and moving between her legs, he pressed his hand against her vulva, gauging her sexual response to his assertive penetration. Connie felt warm and moist against his palm. Sweet baby…

*****

He had her on the bed now. The thong was gone, but the garterbelt and stockings remained. So did the shoes. Kevin was naked, pressed up against her back as she lay on her side, facing the alcove. He had positioned her this way for a reason. He wanted to watch it all. He wanted to see her face. He wanted her to see, too.

He had already reached into his nightstand and retrieved the blue and white tube. Kevin moved from behind her just long enough squeeze a dollop of the thick jelly onto his erection. When the cool lubricant met the heat of his shaft, he gasped with pleasure and then wiped it over his sensitive manhood, watching as he covered himself. Then he rolled back to her. The bedroom was still lit and their eyes met in the mirror.

“Can you see me speak?” he asked. He looked serious and stern.

Connie took a deep breath and answered on a tremulous sigh. “Yes…”

“Do you understand what I’m going to do to you?”

Connie nodded slightly.

“Are you nervous?”

Once again, she nodded.

“Are you afraid?”

Connie studied his face, trying to discern the difference between the two questions. Then she understood. Kevin would expect her to be nervous. He was far more sexually experienced than she and undoubtedly knew that anal sex was foreign to her. His real interest lay in her response to the second question. What he was really asking is, ‘Do you trust me?’

Bingo. Kevin needed this proscribed pleasure. ‘Regular’ fucking wouldn’t do it. He needed the physical release but he needed his emotional fears washed away as well. In his heart, love was defined by trust. The pieces of his burden suddenly fell into place. The label was controlling him. He would be leaving her tomorrow. A large part of him felt helpless and somewhat emasculated by the interference in his personal life. In her attempt to make it easier for him, she had planted the seeds of insecurity. This had nothing to do with the scene at the police station. Kevin was testing her. He was testing her commitment. He was testing her insight into his soul. He was testing her love by testing her trust. He was measuring her emotionally by dominating her physically. She didn’t fool herself. This was also about sexual gratification of the most intense kind - his gratification. He needed to orgasm badly but he needed to do so on his terms. He also needed for her to understand that he had to have that sometimes.

Kevin’s lips began to move again. His brows furrowed as he repeated his question.

“Are you afraid, Connie?”

She saw a tiny flash of fear in his eyes and then her own eyes became wet.

“No, Kevin,” she whispered. “I’m not afraid.”

Chapter 76

It was hard for Connie to gauge the time. The bedroom was beginning to lighten just a little when her eyes cracked open. It took a minute or two for her to clear the cobwebs out of her head and return to the present. Her first realization was that it was, indeed, morning. The second was that her ankle was trapped between Kevin’s calves. Both of those realizations lead her to her third – that she was still alive after all, even though she felt a little like she’d been run over by a truck.

Kevin was spooned up against her, his arm wrapped around her torso. Connie could feel his goatee against her shoulder blades. All in all, she was in a good place and might have drifted back to sleep had she not glanced at the clock that glowed on the bedside table. It was 8:02. Kevin would be picked up in two hours. Not only was it getting late, she had to pee. When she shifted in an attempt to free herself, any remaining cobwebs were blown away and sharp images rushed into focus as an unfamiliar ache assailed her senses. Her eyes moved to the mirror-covered wall in the alcove as the memory returned.

Kevin had been spooned up against her then, too – much as he was now except that his right arm had wrapped around her from underneath as he prepared her for his penetration. He had been very attentive, covering the side of her face and shoulders with gentle kisses before he shifted her hips into position and lifted his face to the mirror so that he could watch her initiation into a new sexual experience. Their eyes had locked in the reflection as he began to push into her. Even when she tensed, they continued to stare at each other, unable and unwilling to look away. Kevin’s journey inside of her was slow and easy. He would stop after gaining a little ground, pull away slightly and then resume his insertion, going a little deeper after each interval. His had spoken as he moved against her and inside of her but Connie only caught the occasional word. Intense burning sensations caused her to whimper, yet she remained fixated on Kevin, looking to him for….what? Comfort? Encouragement? Approval? Whenever a sound rumbled in her throat, Kevin would pause, giving her time to accommodate his mass as he murmured his sweet nothings.

At long last, she had been filled with him. Connie had lain very still, afraid that if she moved at all, she would tear apart. Suddenly she couldn’t seem to get enough air. They were both covered in perspiration. That was when they lost visual contact with each other. Tears pricked Connie’s eyes – a result of confusion as well as pain. He confusion lay in her conflicted physical reactions as Kevin inched himself into her, stretching her narrow, untried channel. It had been very strange. She hadn’t felt so much violated as claimed or marked in some way. He had felt a need to take intimacy to another level. It had hurt. But it had hurt…. good…

*****

Kevin’s eyes opened as Connie pulled herself away from him and up into a sitting position. She moved stiffly as she was undoubtedly sore, a point that was proven when he heard her breath catch in her throat as she turned to dangle her legs from the side of the bed. She lingered there for a moment, dropping her head towards her chest, and then turned to glance at him before standing. Kevin’s eyes closed as her head turned but cracked open again when he felt the mattress give and knew she had left the bed. She was moving very slowly, almost limping as she made her way to the bathroom. He wondered for a moment if she might come back to bed but the sound of the shower dashed his hopes. That’s probably the last thing she wants to do right now… It had been difficult to gauge her reaction to what had happened. Connie had fallen asleep on her side, facing the mirror. She had made no comment and silent tears had covered her cheeks but he had felt her relax when he withdrew from her and she had held onto the arm that had held her. He had stroked her hair with his free hand and her tremors had quieted as she calmed.

Despite the absence of thrusting, which had been replaced with as little movement as he could bear, Kevin’s orgasm had been incredibly intense, exploding in his groin and then washing over him like an electrical charge. What energy he hadn’t released into his lover had erupted from his throat in the form of emancipating groans of relief. Connie’s anus had naturally reacted, protesting his presence with a series of muscular contractions that created a squeezing friction that didn’t require the motion that vaginal penetration usually did. Anal intercourse would never replace the silken, slippery heat of her womanhood. This was a different kind of intimacy.

Intimacy… Kevin pondered the word. This type of sex was typically unsanctioned and almost unmentionable in most segments of polite society. While Kevin had had some experience in this verboten arena, he had never associated it with the word ‘intimacy’ before. The women he had had this way in the past were generally groupies – ‘bad girls’ who would do anything to impress or entice a celebrity by offering something ‘extra’. Something different….something taboo. He had been away from home the first time – on the road in Europe – sowing his oats wherever and whenever he could. Kevin had been introduced to many things since he left his beloved Kentucky mountains.

He had never done this with Brandi, not that she wouldn’t have been willing. Now, he was beginning to understand why. Groupies expected nothing. In Kevin’s mind, they were owed nothing, other than to be treated with civility. He and Brandi had a ‘relationship’ of sorts. With Brandi, it would have been one more item to be checked off their repertoire. One more meaningless act on a sexual shopping list. He really hadn’t cared about her that much. He hadn’t needed her that completely. He neither needed or wanted any assurances from her.

It was different with Connie. Sex had become emotional, not just physical. Their lovemaking was laced with tenderness, covered with commitment and tied up with love. Real love.

Kevin’s sexual appetite was strong. He had needed and wanted his pleasure last night, but those needs and wants had gone beyond the temporary bliss and gratification of ejaculation. His realization that she was inexperienced had excited him on one level but frightened him on another. Her compliance had to be based on trust. That is what would sooth the insecurities that had been festering in his heart. Sex with Connie was often fun and lighthearted, but not always. Not last night….

Kevin’s self-analysis had caused him to lose track of time. When he looked at the clock, it was 8:45. Shit…. The shower was still running. Is she alright? When he threw back the covers, he noted that a tiny spot of blood had stained the sheet. Fuck….

*****

The jets of hot water felt good coursing down Connie’s back and so she rested her forehead against the ceramic tiles and enjoyed the sensation. Her mind went blank as her muscles gradually loosened under the steady stream. When she felt Kevin against her back, she jumped, but he quickly turned her towards him and held her close for a long time until he felt her relax in his arms. Then he stepped back and, holding on to her upper arms, carefully studied her face.

Connie’s hair, darkened by the shower, was plastered to her skin. The curls, wet and heavy with water, had straightened into waves and a few errant strands stuck to the side of her face and chin. Kevin pushed them away with the tip of his finger. Circumstances dictated that he be the first to speak.

“Are you okay?”

Connie’s turquoise eyes were almost blinded by Kevin’s penetrating stare. His simple question had dual implications and the intensity of his gaze demanded a truthful answer.

“Yes,” she said softly. “I’m okay.”

Kevin nodded under the water before clarifying his question.

“I don’t just mean physically…”

“I know what you mean, Kevin. I’m okay. Really.”

Her eyes softened at his show of concern but still, he struggled, feeling the need to account for last night’s psychological and emotional dynamic.

“I want you to understand…”

“Don’t,” Connie interrupted, placing her finger across his lips. “You don’t have to explain anything. I do understand…” She raked her fingers through his hair, pushing it away from his face. “I know it’s complicated. I know it’s primal. I know that you needed something from me. I think I understand what that was. I only hope I gave you what you needed…”

Kevin’s eyes seemed to glaze over but Connie couldn’t be sure that it wasn’t a result of the stream from the shower splashing into them.

“Always…” Kevin answered. He paused for a moment before continuing. “I’m a demanding son-of-a-bitch, Connie. I know that.”

Connie’s fingers traveled down to his throat as a faint smile tugged at her mouth. “Yes, you are,” she agreed. “But you never demand more than you’re willing to give…”

Kevin pulled her to him once more with a relieved sigh and they rocked together under the cooling water for a little while longer.

“I really love you, Connie…” he choked against her shoulder.

Of course, she didn’t hear him, but she didn’t need to. She felt his words and already knew that we all hear better with our hearts than with our ears.