CHAPTER 111

“Jesus Christ, Connie! What’s the matter with you? What the hell are you doin’?”

It had been a surprise attack. Kevin had been about to tell Connie to look in the second drawer to see what he had bought her when she turned, threw her brush across the room and jumped him like a wrestler going in for the kill. When she had him on his back, she had straddled him, her fanny landing on his stomach, forcing his breath out of his body with one giant swoosh. He had tried to lift her and regain his sudden loss of control but arms and legs had tangled and they tipped, then rolled off of the bed and onto the floor with a painful thud. Now they glared at each other with bewilderment, hurt and confusion. Kevin was bewildered. Connie was hurt. They were both confused. It was Clearwater all over again – this time with a more intimate twist.

“God, Kevin! I thought that’s what you wanted! Excuuuuuse the shit outta me!” Connie winced and rubbed the underside of her right breast. “I think you bruised my booby…Owwww…”

“Right,” Kevin choked. “That’s what I wanted - punctured balls!” He raised himself to a sitting position, effectively displacing Connie to the floor with thump. “Guess I’d better start learning Howie’s parts!” His voice was definitely strained.

There they were. Connie plopped on the floor, legs askew, rubbing her breast, pouting, chin trembling, and her hair hanging in her face with Leighanne’s borrowed dress pushed up to the top of her thighs. Kevin had fallen back once more and now lay on the carpet beside her, right arm covering his eyes and left hand gripping his testicles in an attempt to discern any feeling. This was definitely not the romantic evening he had envisioned.

All I wanted was a nice, quiet, private time together. We would talk. I would lead her to the notebook. She would be all touched and shit and them she would open it and discover the ring. She would be so surprised and look at me as tears filled her eyes. I was even going to do the ‘knee thing’ and make an official proposal. Then we would fall into each others arms and I’d make her scream my name…. Instead, she’s shocked that I have any interest in what she’s doing which makes me feel like a turd. Then she has to move all her shit off the bed. Then AJ comes calling. Then…well, I don’t know what the hell this was all about, but instead of a sensual fuck, her ass is on the floor, she has a sore tit and she’s about to cry while I’m laying here, trying to breathe and wondering if I’ll ever be able to father children… Kevin raised himself up on his elbows just in time to see Connie wipe her runny nose with the back of her hand. What a mess. Kevin wasn’t sure if he was being punished for his multitude of screw-ups or if this was some kind of test coming directly from the God of Romance. He took another breath and let it out on a frustrated sigh, mumbling, shaking his head and gazing towards the heavens which apparently lay somewhere above the ceiling of his suite. He managed to stand and then limped past Connie towards the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” she whined, pushing her red curls away from her face. “You’re mad, aren’t you? I know you are….”

Kevin hesitated, turned and glared. “Don’t you move,” he commanded, pausing only long enough to wave his finger in her face. “I’ll be right back.”

“You’re not gonna throw up, are you?” Her sympathetic show of concern was immediately followed by a prideful protest. “And don’t you point your damn finger at me, Kevin Richardson!”

Kevin bit his tongue, turned once more and disappeared through the white paneled door. He was only gone for a moment, returning with a damp washcloth in his left hand. Connie held his gaze with a defensive pout.

“What are you doing?” she asked as her eyes moved to the cloth and narrowed. “What do you need that for?”

Kevin extended his right hand. Connie stared at it for a second and then took it, allowing Kevin to pull her up off of the floor. Connie’s hands went to her hips as their eyes locked.

“What are you – “

Kevin’s explanation came in the form of action, not words. He pressed the cool, damp cloth against Connie’s face and began to wipe her eyes, her warm cheeks and her runny nose.

“We’re going to start over, okay?”

“Start what over?” she sputtered between wipes. “I don’t understand.”

“We’re going to go back to the elevator and start our evening over again.”

“But…”

“Let’s go,” Kevin interrupted, tossing the washcloth onto the dresser.

“We don’t have any shoes on…”

Kevin began to guide Connie to the door. “Don’t need shoes…”

“But….”

“Shhhh. No talking!”

The two of them tripped down to the elevator in silence, stood for a moment in front of the doors and then turned. Connie had no choice but to follow Kevin’s lead when he grabbed her hand and started pulling her back down the hallway, retracing their steps. Once again, he leaned his head towards her.

“So how’s your writing class goin’, Con?”

Ohhhh – I get it. He’s more of a control freak than I thought. Now he’s gonna turn back time… Although she still felt a little petulant, she decided to play along with Kevin’s charade. They were each suffering from bruised egos. Maybe this was Kevin’s way to soothe them both.

“It’s going well, I think. I enjoy it.” She watched Kevin nod and took that as a sign that he approved of her response.

“Good,” he smiled. “Maybe you’ll let me read your stuff sometime.”

“If you want to – after I get it back from the instructor and fine tune it some. It’s a little disconcerting being judged on creativity. There’s no right or wrong. It becomes very personal.”

“Tell me about it…” Kevin shrugged. “It’s hard when something comes from your heart and then some critic tells you that your heart sucks…” Connie flinched a little causing Kevin to push the ‘transition’ a bit. She was obviously still a bit wary and sensitive but he appreciated the fact that she was going along with his plan. They had reached the door to the suite. Kevin inserted the card, waited for the green light to appear and then opened the door. Connie’s eyes had yet to leave his face. “So anyway, you like being a schoolgirl again?”

Connie, still feeling somewhat defensive, made a face. “Don’t you go thinking that I’m going to get a little short plaid skirt and some knee socks, Kevin. I’m past the pig-tail stage…”

He laughed at her assumption, although the idea had its merits. For a brief moment, the image of Connie replacing Britney in the ‘Hit Me’ video danced through his mind.

“Actually, I had something else in mind….” Kevin grinned pulling her towards the bedroom. “I bought something for you.” He left her standing by the bed while he cracked open the second bureau drawer, slipped his hand in and pulled out a length of creamy silk. “Will you put this on for me?”

Connie’s eyes widened as Kevin held his purchase out for her to take. It wasn’t like he had never given or a gift or bought her anything, but this was a first. She felt herself swallow. His eyes had darkened considerably and the lighthearted smile had left his face. Something was pulling at Kevin – something more than sex. Connie wasn’t sure what it was but didn’t think that this was the time to question his motives. She gently took the gown from him and slipped into the bathroom to change with no comment, feeling a wave of uncharacteristic shyness. Kevin never balked. Apparently, he had expected (or wanted) her to be demure. This evening had turned out to be very strange…

After Connie went into the bathroom, Kevin stepped back to the bureau and pulled the second drawer open a few more inches. Then, after sending up a quick prayer to those gods who had mercilessly teased him earlier, he stripped, crawled into the bed, propped some pillows behind his back and waited. He didn’t wait too long. The bathroom door soon opened and he stared at the figure standing in the doorframe. The bathroom light backlit Connie’s form in a way that caused Kevin’s breath to hitch in his throat. Her curls seemed dark except for a narrow copper aura that bordered her long hair like a heated halo. It was hard to tell from this distance where her skin ended and the gown began. Had it not been for the shadow between her breasts that marked her cleavage, he wouldn’t have been sure of how low cut the gown was. It turned out to be deeply cut. Kevin was quite pleased with his choice. The overall effect was one of sophistication and elegance, tempered with a touch of sexual sluttiness – a lady with a strong libido…

“I – I think I’m missing the panties…” Connie murmured with a touch of timidity. “The gown splits to my hip.”

“You’re not missing anything,” Kevin answered seriously. “And I know how the gown is cut. C’mere and let me see…”

Connie stepped over to the bed and stood as Kevin’s burning gaze swept slowly over her body. Then he reached out and brushed the back of his hand up her thigh and over her hip bone.

“Very nice….” His hand slipped under the silk and floated across her backside in a gentle, yet provocative carress. “Do you like it?” he asked.

“Yes. It feels good against my skin. And it fits perfectly. How did you do that?” Connie’s question had been offered with a smile but Kevin’s response was quite serious and she wondered if she caught a touch of indignation in his answer.

“Why, Connie – don’t you know that I know every inch of you? Every swell, every crevice, every plane, every turn and curve of your body? You shouldn’t be surprised…”

Connie made no comment. She hadn’t really expected an answer to her light question but she should have known that Kevin would have one – an answer laced with possessive innuendo. She leaned to turn off the bedside lamp but was stopped.

“Leave it on,” he demanded. “I want us to be able to see each other.” Connie straightened but didn’t move. She expected that Kevin would tell her what he wanted her to do. She was right. “I have something else for you,” he said, nodding towards the bureau. “Get it and bring it over here.”

Kevin’s tone would mean little to Connie but he could tell by her expression that she was aware of his intensity. He hadn’t meant for it to be this way. He had meant for this to be fun but his emotions were sublimating his intentions. He was deadly serious and it was showing. He couldn’t help it.

“What is this?” Connie asked as she reached into the drawer. She turned to him for an answer. “Is it a notebook?”

“Thought that you might need some supplies since you were taking a class now.” Kevin thought he was smiling but he wasn’t.

Connie pulled the notebook out of the drawer and skipped back to the bed without really looking at the canvas binder. It wasn’t until after she was sitting beside Kevin that she examined her gift, unaware that eyes were fixed on her face.

“Oh my God!” she laughed. “Look at this! All these hearts with our names inside of them! I can’t believe you did this! You’re such a sweetheart!” Her delight managed to curl Kevin’s lips into a smile. She was tickled. “Connie Richardson?” she read, pointing to one of the hearts. “Oh, Kevin – this is priceless!” She turned to face him then and began to explain the irony that surrounded his creative present. “You’ll never believe this, but back in Clearwater, Leighanne and I got into kind of an argument and…”

“I know,” Kevin interrupted. “I was there. You just didn’t see me. I heard you tell her that you were going to get a notebook and put our names all over it – Connie Richardson, Mrs. Kevin Richardson – all that… I just thought that since you were going back to school now, I’d help you out.”

Connie turned a little pink. “You know, Kevin, I was just teasing about the hearts and names and stuff. I was just trying to get Leighanne’s goat…”

“And I think you succeeded,” Kevin chuckled. Then, “You gonna open that notebook? I outfitted it for ‘ya.”

Connie grinned and pulled opened the blue canvas cover. She could immediately see that the notebook had been filled with ruled paper and colored dividers. Kevin had even included a zippered pencil case. The plastic was a translucent frosted white but she recognized the shape and muted colors of the pencils, eraser and sharpener. There was something else in there that she didn’t readily recognize, though. Laughing, she unzipped the plastic to fetch the mysterious circular object. Her dancing eyes fell onto Kevin as she snagged the prize. His expression had changed again. His smile had softened and there was a look in his eyes – almost apprehensive.

Connie gazed at the ring as it rested in the open palm of her hand. She wasn’t sure what to say. Was Kevin playing with her? Was this part of the joke involving her ‘summertime romance’ argument with Leighanne? A little extra prop to go along with the decorated notebook? Surely, that was it. She attempted to laugh but the vibration in her throat felt somewhat anemic. She didn’t get the joke.

“Gosh,” she smiled, raising the ring up to her eyes. “You did a good job. It looks real. Where in the world did you get this?”

When she looked at Kevin to read his answer, he watched his lips form the word ‘Tiffany’s’.

Connie was trying very hard not to make any assumptions. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I caught that. It almost looked like you said ‘Tiffany’s’…”

“I did say ‘Tiffany’s’,” Kevin confirmed.

“But Tiffany’s doesn’t sell simulated stones…” she countered.

“No. They don’t.” Kevin pushed himself up from his pillows and lifted the ring from Connie’s open palm. “I know that your little clash with Leigh in Clearwater was teasin’ and all, but we’re not in Clearwater now. Leigh is nowhere around – and I’m not teasin’. I love you. I hope you know that.

I’m proposing marriage, Connie. I want you to be my wife.”

Chapter 112

For a brief moment, Connie wondered if she was dreaming or had had some sort of mental seizure. Seconds ticked by as she tried to assimilate exactly what had happened in the last two minutes. She was completely frozen, except for her eyes which moved repeatedly from Kevin’s face, to the ring he now held in his fingers and back to his face again. She knew she had to say something. Kevin’s expression was beginning to shift but her powers of speech seemed to have dried to a fine powder that was now threatening to block her throat.

Kevin watched her reaction, noting every nuance and detail. Connie’s mouth was slightly ajar and her eyes were filled, not with tears of joy, but with shock. Her silence caused small threads of rejection to tighten around his heart while the pins of humiliation jabbed his pride. Finally, he was forced to blink as his throat tightened and began to ache with emotion. Still, his eyes never left hers.

“I thought you loved me,” he whispered as his fingers closed around the diamond ring.

It was all he could think of to say.

Connie’s confusion suddenly lifted. Her lack of response had hurt him deeply. She had never intended for that to happen. When she saw his gaze drop, she reached out instinctively and pushed a wayward lock of black hair behind his ear, causing him to look into her face once again. This time he looked at her through wet lashes as he waited for her to speak. Connie didn’t hesitate this time.

“I ,do love you,” she said softly, her fingers still stoking his hair. “I love you more than I thought it was possible to love anybody.”

“Then you must doubt my feelings for you,” he sighed. “I was afraid of that, with what we’ve been through, especially ….lately.”

He had to look away then, unable to face the confirmation of his fears that he would find reflected in her eyes. All of the wishing in the world would never change the things that had happened between them or the truths that were never revealed. That’s when Kevin became aware of Connie’s fingers moving from his hair to his cheek and she managed to guide his face forward so that he was facing her again. This time, however, his eyes were closed.

“Kevin… Kevin open your eyes…”

He did so with some reluctance and found that she had leaned forward so that their faces were mere inches apart. He could feel her breath on his face and detected a hint of a sweet grape scent from the wine she had taken at the party. Her eyes weren’t accusing him and her mouth wasn’t tightened with dark emotions.

When Connie was sure that she had regained his attention, she spoke once more.

“I don’t doubt your feelings for me. You wouldn’t lie to me about something like that. You’ve told me that you love me. You’ve shown me that you love me. I know that you’re a man who takes marriage very seriously. Why do you think I don’t believe you?”

Under other circumstances, Kevin might have puffed up like an angry and defensive rooster and pushed her hand away. The answer to her question seemed painfully obvious to him but he was too drained and too hurt to protest. Even now, he found a measure of comfort in her touch and so he answered, not in anger or despair but with the misguided evaluation of a child.

“Because you don’t want to marry me,” he answered simply, curling his lips in a poignant attempt to smile. “I was hoping that you’d be happy. You don’t look happy.”

Connie sighed and leaned in closer, pressing her forehead against his and brushing her ring finger across Kevin’s bottom lip.

“I don’t remember saying that I didn’t want to marry you,” she murmured. “I’m sorry that’s what you thought. I was just surprised, that’s all. I never, never expected….” Connie paused and leaned back away from him. “Ask me again.”

Now Kevin seemed confused. “What?”

“Ask me again.” Connie repeated, dropping her gaze in order focus on his lips. “You already backtracked once tonight. Do it again…”

Kevin wasn’t sure he had the strength or courage to ‘do it again’ until he looked at her face. Her expression had grown expectant and excited and Kevin thought of his little nephew begging to be thrown into the air and caught, over and over. ’One more time, Uncle Kevin! Do it again…Please?’ Her child-like anticipation collided with the sultry sexiness of the cream-colored silk which had opened with her movement, revealing the curve of her hip. Kevin had to smile. Despite his often moody temperament, demanding nature and need for control, she had him by the balls. God help him if she ever realized that and decided to take advantage…. I’ll ‘do it again’, Connie. I’ll do it again and again and again if you want me to….

Kevin opened his hand once more, uncovering the sparkling, pear-shaped stone, and rose to his knees. The sheet dropped, revealing two Japanese characters and a thick patch of short, black curls.

“My God, you’re naked…” Connie squeaked. “I’m getting proposed to by a naked man!”

Kevin’s eyes rolled in exasperation. This was hard enough without the critique but he was finding some relief in the light-hearted turn that this night seemed to be taking.

“You want I should put on some heart covered boxers? Make this more formal?” he frowned.

“No,” Connie pouted. “I just didn’t know you were naked under there.”

“Answer this question right and you’ll be naked ‘under there’, too…”, he snorted back. Then, as an afterthought, “I might even let you touch it….”

Kevin’s teasing, humorless as it might be, was an indication that recovery was at hand. The banter could have continued but both knew that neither of them really had a heart for clever repartee right now. This was a special night and it was time for tenderness to make its entrance.

They both chuckled a little nervously and then the room fell silent as Kevin cleared his throat. His expression, although softened by a sense of sweet purpose, was still exceedingly serious. An air of extreme emotional intimacy blossomed between them, for they both knew that tonight they would each offer and accept a promise of commitment, which would turn previous words and whispers of love into an undeniable, solid and open declaration upon which they could hang their hopes and vanquish their fears.

“Connie…. I’m in love with you. I feel like I’ve been in love with you my whole life. I know that I will be in love with you for the rest of my life….” Kevin paused, took a breath and continued. “I want…I need a sense of permanence and consistency in my life. I want us to be partners. I want us to be lovers. I want us to be safe harbors for each other. I want us to have a full and complete relationship – one that will let us claim all possibilities, like having children together. I know we could do that without actually getting married but it’s important to me that we …that we declare it - officially and openly, laying out claim and commitment with no fear.” Kevin sighed, wondering if Connie understood what he was trying to say. He didn’t feel very articulate. “Am I making any sense, baby?”

To say that Connie had been deeply touched by Kevin’s words would have been a gross understatement. The tears that Kevin had visualized earlier now began to fill her eyes and she answered his query with a slight nod.

“Good,” Kevin returned with an unheard tremor in his voice. “ because I’m asking you if you will marry me – in a church, in front of friends and family and God, with a preacher and everything..”

Connie tried to blink back her emotion but to no avail. She felt like every ounce of air had been sucked from her body and she couldn’t breathe. The man who knelt before her on the mattress bore little resemblance to the images presented by the media. The serious, moody, opinionated, impatient man that others saw in Kevin was nowhere around and in his place was the tender, loving and affectionate man who never thought twice about defending either his feelings or her honor. Some had called him selfish or self-centered but they had failed to see his desire to protect those he loved or to defend the defenseless.

Connie loved him with all her heart.

“I wish I could have heard those beautiful words, Kevin but even though I couldn’t, I think they’ll stay in my heart forever. Thank you for saying them out loud.” Connie brushed away an errant tear before going on. “What you feel, I feel,” she said softly, patting herself on the chest. “And because of that – and because I love you so much, it would make me very happy to be your wife.”

Kevin almost seemed to crumble with relief as he reached out to pull Connie close. That’s when he felt the ring, which was now pressing into the palm of his hand.

“Oh…. I almost forgot,” he smiled. “We have to make this official.”

“Does that mean I answered the question right?” Connie teased.

Kevin watched his own fingers slowly slide the ring down the length of Connie’s slender one before he met her eyes once more.

“Oh yeah, baby… perfect.”