CHAPTER 119

Connie managed to get a few groceries and supplies into the house before she high-tailed it to Brian and Leighanne’s apartment. Kevin’s directions proved to be all but useless as far as she was concerned. While street names and compass directions were essential to most, Connie preferred to look for markers – ‘turn left at the big pink building with the yellow awning’ or ‘just past the Texaco station’. Finally after a few wrong turns as the minutes ticked by, Connie arrived at the correct location.

It was already 4:45. Connie stopped at the manger’s office and, after being assured that there had been no attempted deliveries, she made her way to the elevator. The apartment was on the top floor, as were three others, but Connie never saw any of the other inhabitants. The door opened easily and she threw her purse inside before leaning against the doorframe to catch her breath. Actually, she felt a little weak. The day had been long and busy and this was the first chance she’d had to stop for a few minutes. She realized then that she hadn’t even eaten all day.

She supposed that she looked a little silly just standing there, leaning in the open doorway but that’s what she had to do. It had never occurred to anyone that she wouldn’t hear a buzzer or a knock on the apartment door. If she didn’t answer the door to accept the delivery, the flowers would have been left at the office but the same problem would persist. The manager couldn’t call her. The delivery situation at the house had been different. Kevin had been there in the morning and after he left, Connie kept an eye out for the trucks. Lots of windows made that easy and even if she had missed an arrival, motion sensitive light signals had already been installed all over the house.

She didn’t have to wait very long. A kid, wearing a shirt with a patch that identified him as ‘Angelo’ soon came through the elevator doors carrying four large boxes of flowers.

When Connie carried them into the kitchen, she saw that Leighanne had left several large vases out on the counter and she supposed that it was also up to her to fashion some kind of floral arrangements. Although there were no instructions left about the flowers, there was a note about the food.

Connie,

Please take the hors d’ouevres out of the refrigerator and heat them in a low oven. Will you set up the bar for me, too? Olives and all that stuff are in the pantry and I’ve left some napkins and stirrers in a bag beside the sink. Limes and beer are in the fridge.

Leighanne

Connie sighed in defeat. She forgot to tell me where my uniform was…. Oh well, DeeDee should be along in a little while and that should lighten her mood. In the meantime, she guessed she’d better get busy.

It took her about a half-hour to arrange all of the flowers. The gardenias were beautiful but their sickening sweet aroma almost made Connie gag – and they were the most subtle of the blooms. Apparently, Leighanne had a thing for Birds of Paradise. Connie had counted thirty stems before she stopped numbering them. The third box contained fire-engine red gladiolas and the fourth was filled with huge yellow chrysanthemums – the kinds that are often worn at high school and college football games. There was absolutely no rhyme or reason to Leighanne’s selection. None of the flowers complimented each other in any way and they couldn’t be mixed. The were loud and bright and big. Connie tried to separate the arrangements as much as she could but there were so many. When she stood back to peruse the room, only one thought came to her – that it looked like they were having some kind of circus funeral in an apartment that was furnished with French Provincial lamps and seating. Yet she had to admit – it was so ‘Leighanne’…..

Connie turned back to the kitchen and went into the refrigerator, looking for Leighanne’s appetizers. God, she was starving…. As she removed the trays of quiche and mini-crab cakes, a pyramid of color caught her eye. On a lower shelf sat a tray full of Jello Jigglers. Jello? A note was still attached to the tray, ‘There’s always room for Jello! Ha, ha!’ It was signed, ‘Dee’. Connie pulled the platter out from the shelf and set it on the counter. She loved Jello as a child and it had been years since she’d eaten any of the stuff. Despite the fact that these ‘jigglers’ were shaped into attractive, ice-sized cubes, she was surprised to see them at birthday party. How much dessert do you need? There must have been well over a hundred of the colorful cubes, stacked into a small mountain on top of a silver platter. They were beautiful – like jiggly jewels.

Connie chewed on her lower lip as she stared at the platter, faintly aware that her mouth was watering slightly. Then she felt her stomach rumble, demanding some sustenance. They’ll never miss one…, she thought, reaching out to snag one of the shiny cubes. Glancing towards the door, she popped the cherry gelatin into her mouth and sucked it through her teeth, savoring the weight, taste and texture of the congealed mass as it slid down her throat. Damn, that was good…. It was better than she remembered, even without the miniature marshmallows. Maybe just one more… The ‘jiggler’ rested between her thumb and forefinger as she held it up to the lamp, it’s rich purple hue reminding her of amethyst. Connie took another surreptitious glance towards the door and then placed her lips on one edge of the cool, squishy treat. Fuck birthday cake… She began to suck until a vacuum formed and the entire morsel popped onto the roof of her mouth as if of its own volition. Connie could vaguely remember the sound of sucking air that would be followed by a loud slurp as the Jello passed the portal of her lips. She found herself giggling a little as she rearranged the cubes, in the hopes that her pilfering wouldn’t be detected. Then, What the hell… One more for the road…

Except that it wasn’t ‘one’ more. It was six more.

******

“Jesus, AJ! We were supposed to be there already! We’ll be lucky if we make it to the apartment before they do – and I was supposed to help Connie!”

AJ shrugged as DeeDee read him the riot act. What was the big deal? They were here now.

“Help her do what? She can stick some flowers in water, for God’s sake….”

“That’s beside the point!” DeeDee shouted, cracking the cell phone against AJ’s head for emphasis. “She was expecting me to help. I told Kevin I would!”

The pair climbed out of the convertible and hurried through the front door of the building. The Litrell-Richardson party had arrived just moments before and were waiting for an elevator. Leighanne’s eyes grew wide when she realized that DeeDee and AJ weren’t where she expected them to be.

“I thought you were coming over early…” she hissed under her breath to Dee as AJ greeted the others. “What if everything’s not ready? What if Connie didn’t make it? I was counting on you for back up!”

Leighanne’s scolding further irritated DeeDee who was still a little put off by AJ’s dismissive attitude.

“Fuck you, Leighanne. This is your party, remember? Now if you’re worried that Connie has ransacked the place or set it on fire or something, we’ll go up first so I can do quick check. We’ll take the next elevator and you distract the others and get the one after…”

When a ‘ping’ sounded from the opening elevator doors, DeeDee unceremoniously pushed AJ into the small space and hit the ‘close’ button, leaving the others staring in surprise as Leighanne fumbled with a suddenly wayward shoe strap.

“What the…” AJ croaked as he tried to regain his balance.

“We’re just getting a head start,” DeeDee snorted, staring at the lit floor numbers.

“You have a key?” AJ asked, rubbing his bumped elbow.

“Yeeees…” DeeDee growled between clenched teeth. “How the hell do you think I was going to get in if we had come earlier?”

“Well, since Connie’s supposed to be ther, I guess I thought you could…what’s the word I’m looking for?” He struck a dramatically sarcastic pose. “Knock?”

DeeDee turned slowly and faced him as a self-satisfied smirk played across her mouth. “Really?” she asked as her eyebrows raised.

Then she waited for AJ to realize the error of his comment. It took a while but she knew exactly when ‘the light-bulb came on’.

AJ’s mouth curled into a frown. “Shit….”

“Yes, you sure are….”

It took them a minute to find Connie and AJ made the actual discovery.

“Holy crap…”

Connie O’ Rourke was shitfaced, sitting on the floor against a kitchen cabinet. She seemed to be having a hard time keeping her eyes opened. Her apparent slide to the floor had resulted in the hiking of her denim skirt, the hem of which now rested over one hip, exposing a ribbon pink lace recently purchased from Victoria’s Secret. Her hands rested on the floor, each holding a gelatinous cube – one green and one orange. She grinned at the two shocked faces that swam in front of her.

“Jiggles…” she smiled holding out the green cube. “I looove J-E-L-L-Oooooh…” She had attempted to sing the last word in an upward scale, like a jingle.

“Oh, Christ….” DeeDee whispered. The ping of the elevator sounded from the hallway. “She’s been pigging out on shooters….”

Chapter 120

“They’re coming! Get her up! Kevin’s gonna shit himself!” DeeDee whispered frantically, tugging on Connie’s arm.

AJ froze, thoughtfully considering the scenario. He could just see Kevin now, especially under the circumstances. Very special guests were here and, although Kevin did not embarrass easily, the sight of his fiancee drunk, collapsed on the kitchen floor with her hands full of shooters and her skirt jacked up to her waist, might just do the trick. A smile crossed his lips. He did love to see Kevin flustered. Still, he hated to see Connie at the receiving end of his wrath and righteous indignation. She would be supremely mortified as it was.

“C’mon, AJ! Help me!”

AJ blinked as he was brought back to the ugly reality of the situation.

“Okay, okay…” he muttered, bending down towards Connie, who was quite content where she was.

“Where we goin’? Huh? I want t’stay here for the potty….” She protested.

“We’re gonna need a potty for all the shit that’s gonna be flyin’ if you don’t straighten up, Con! You can go lie down and we’ll tell Kevin that you’re not feeling….”

Too late. A voice sounded from the living room. Jackie.

“Oh my! Look at all the flowers…”

AJ and DeeDee both turned and intuitively stood side by side, almost blocking anyone’s view of Kevin’s drunk fiancé. Unfortunately her bare feet were in clear view, bight red toenails wiggling in rhythm to some unheard beat.

Kevin was on the other side of the counter that separated the kitchen from the dining area when he spotted the couple standing side by side like a pair of mismatched bookends.

“Where’s Connie?”

The bookends glanced at each other, then at Kevin and back to each other once more, trying desperately to come up with a plausible explanation through the process of mind-melding.

“Where’s Connie?” Kevin repeated.

“Ummmm….”

AJ and Dee were giving new meaning to the phrase ‘shifty eyes’ sending a distinct chill up Kevin’s spine.

“Well?”

“Ummmm….”

Any attempt at mental telepathy ended when Connie unexpectedly broke into an enthusiastic and off-key rendition of her newly favored commercial jingle. By now, the entire party stood at the counter, including Nick and Howie who had arrived just after AJ and DeeDee had made their elevator escape from the lobby.

“J-E-L-L-OOOOOOH….”

Things seemed to be moving in slow motion for AJ. He found it fascinating to watch Kevin’s face change before his eyes. As he watched, Kevin’s eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed as he took a step closer to peer over the counter. His lips seemed to disappear as his mouth twisted into an upside-down ‘U’. AJ couldn’t help but think that Kevin reminded him of a candy thermometer his grandmother has used to make fudge for him one time, as the skin at the neckline of Kevin’s tee began to turn pink and then crimson before slowly rising up over his throat and face. Yep, I’d say we’re reaching that ‘hard-ball’ stage now…

“Now don’t get all pissed, Kevin!” DeeDee suddenly blurted. “It was an accident! She thinks they’re jigglers…”

“MOVE!”

AJ and DeeDee separated, exposing the redhead on the floor who was quite oblivious to the attention she was gathering. By now Connie had begun to dance – sort of. Her arms moved up and down as her head bobbed in time with the opening and closing of her legs. Her mouth was full. One of he shooters was missing….

“Goddamn!” Nick laughed out loud. “That girl is totally invigorated!”

No one else was laughing. Especially Kevin, who shot Nick a glare that would have melted steel.

“Inebriated…” AJ hissed under his breath.

“That’s what I said, smart ass!”

“No you didn’t, you dumb fuck! Why don’t you get yourself a…”

“SHUT UP!” Kevin bellowed.

They knew it was coming but they were still startled into silence. A mini vocabulary lesson was not going to distract Kevin from the problem at hand.

*****

Connie was having a good time. Even when she noticed the large feet on the tile beside her, she didn’t fret. Her sparkling eyes traveled slowly up long, denim clad legs and paused at the placket that covered the zipper.

“Keviiin!” she squealed.

She had yet to look at his face, a fact that didn’t go unnoticed by the gaping guests who stood nearby. Connie continued to stare at Kevin’s crotch and squealed again.

“Haaaappy Birthdaaaaay!” Then, “Want some jigglers?” The hand which held a decidedly disintegrated, orange blob shot into the air.

A large vein had popped out on Kevin’s neck. AJ instinctively took a step backwards.

Connie watched the denim legs bend and soon her eyes were fixed on a red-faced, scowling, lipless, flashing eyed, goateed giant.

“It’s not my birthday, Constance. And you’re drunk…”

Connie stared at him for a moment and then smiled.

“You’re gonna have to slow down, baby. I didn’t catch that…”

Kevin closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed his chin, desperately trying to maintain some semblance of calm.

“I said…’You’re drunk’”….

They stared at each other seriously for a moment and then Connie erupted into a fit of giggles.

“Don’t be silly! I haven’t had a thing to drink!” Then she changed the subject. “Are you hot, darlin? Your face is so red…. Here, have a jiggler…”

Again Connie’s hand rose but Kevin had reached his limit. With a quick wave, he smacked the shooter out of Connie’s hand and onto the tiled floor. If his intention was to shock some sensibility into his fiancee, it didn’t work. Connie met his glare with one of her own.

“Now look what you’ve done!” she admonished. “You’ve made a mess on Brian’s floor!”

She rose up on her knees and bent over the glob, trying to wipe it up with her hands. Her change of position offered an uninterrupted view of her rear end. Bad as it was, at least the pink lace was not a thong. If Connie could have heard, she wouldn’t have missed the growl coming from Kevin as he jerked the hem of her skirt down and over her backside. He was about to pull her up by her arm when he was stopped by one of the guests.

Connie felt a slight squeeze on her forearm and turned.

“Here, dear. Let me help you…”

Connie forced a trembling smile toward the female stranger who had come to her rescue. “No. Thank you, but I’ll get it,” she frowned, narrowing her eyes at her surprise attacker. Then she leaned in a little and whispered. “You must be Brian’s mom. I don’t know what’s wrong with your nephew – he’s bein’ kinda shitty, isn’t he?” Then, “I’m sorry Kevin made a mess on your birthday.”

The woman chuckled in reponse. “I’ve been watching Kevin get - umm…’shitty’ – for thirty one years. And he’s not my nephew. He’s my son….”