CHAPTER 123

During the days that followed, Kevin’s cool demeanor and sarcasm gradually eroded. It took some time. Eventually, he started engaging in normal conversation. Sometimes, when Ann was telling a story about his childhood, or Kentucky, he would ‘forget’ he was supposed to be angry and add his own interpretation to the stories, laughing and joking about past events. When this happened, Ann would give Connie as surreptitious wink, as if this had been her plan all along.

Connie developed a great respect for this woman and the feeling appeared to be mutual. Ann was not bashful about asking Connie questions, which may be considered personal, or about her deafness and how she coped with it and Connie was forthright and honest in her replies. In fact, she was much more immediately open with Ann in just a couple of days than she had been with the group or Kevin in Clearwater - a fact that Kevin didn’t fail to notice. She told Ann that the worst thing about being deaf was the isolation. Then she told her that the best thing about being deaf was….the isolation.

“When someone is in your face or fussing, all you have to do is shut your eyes,” she laughed, only half joking.

“I’ll bet you do that lot around here,” Ann nodded, also only half joking.

“Only when your son is having his period…”

Ann burst out laughing. She was glad that Connie didn’t tread too carefully around her. So many did, probably out of the fear that Kevin would bust their balls if they didn’t. Ann enjoyed a little ribald humor as much as the next person and didn’t always feel comfortable up on that pedestal Kevin had her on, although she appreciated the fact that he wanted to protect her.

“So, how come you read lips so well? Most people wouldn’t even know you couldn’t hear. You don’t do that sign language stuff?”

“Yes, I do it sometimes,” Connie answered, demonstrating as she spoke. “Of course, I do it around non-hearing friends or when I’m excited or upset sometimes. Kevin has even been learning a little. It’s just that I try not to sign in everyday circumstances with hearing people. It makes them uncomfortable sometimes or a little judgmental. It’s natural. The group didn’t know I was deaf until I had been with them for a while.”

“So I heard,” Ann nodded and then immediately regretted her choice of words. “I mean – you know – I mean Kevin told me that…” Ann looked a little flustered.

“See what I mean?” Connie laughed. “I don’t think anything of it when people say something about ‘hearing’. I say it myself – like, ‘I heard you weren’t feeling well’ or ‘I hear the book is a bestseller’.

“I understand..”

“Many deaf people read lips but I really worked at it. It was important to me to be judged on what worked, not what didn’t. It still is but deafness is a part of what I am and people have to accept that, too. I haven’t been that long in accepting it myself. It can be frustrating to the people you’re with, but it can be frustrating to me, as well.”

Their days together in the new house were spent being lazy. Ann helped Connie and Kevin get settled and personalize their new home but was careful not to interfere. It fascinated her to watch the two of them together. At times they almost seemed to communicate telepathically. Ann was very pleased with her son’s choice - and relieved, but she couldn’t help but worry a little, too. Kevin was such a perfectionist and Connie wasn’t ‘perfect’. She also remembered a conversation she’d had with Kevin when he was telling her about Connie’s disability. She had asked him about possible medical help or surgery and he had become a little sullen. When he finished speaking, Ann had drawn the conclusion that Kevin had high hopes that Connie’s condition would one day be rectified, but had asked her not to mention that to Connie. After several conversations with her future daughter-in-law, Ann had also concluded that Connie had struggled to accept the fact that she would never hear again and wasn’t willing to hope. The disappointments were too painful.

Ann went home to Lexington the following Friday. In her heart she felt that Kevin and Connie could work through this problem and had probably already been through a little piece of ‘relationship hell’. Before she boarded her flight, however, there was an incident that caused her some concern.

Connie and Kevin had taken her to the airport and waited with her in the VIP lounge until first class passengers were boarded. There were about a dozen other passengers there, as well, including one young couple with a child who looked to be about a year old. The child was getting tired and bored and cranky but was also entranced by a handful of puppets that peeked out from a gift bag that sat by Connie’s side. The puppets were a gift for Ann to take to Kevin’s nephew, Will.

The little boy slowly made his way over to Connie and pointed to the bag, curious about the animal faces that swam in a cloud of yellow tissue paper. As Kevin and Ann watched, Connie pulled two of the puppets out of the bag, put them on her hands and began to make them move, which delighted her young admirer. She kept him happy for several minutes. Ann had watched Kevin’s reaction to Connie’s interplay with the child. His lips had curled into a soft smile beneath twinkling eyes and Ann knew that Kevin was imagining how Connie would be with their own children some day.

Then the flight was called and when the child’s parents came to retrieve him, Connie turned to put the puppets away. That’s when it happened. The little boy tried to pull away from his mother’s hand and succeeded, but not without taking a stumble in the process. The child fell and hit his chin on edge of a nearby table. His wails filled the room as the tiny cut on his chin began to bleed. His mother quickly whisked him away to a nearby restroom to wipe his face and calm him.

All of this happened within twelve feet of where Connie had turned to repackage Will’s gift, yet she was totally unaware of it. Ann watched Kevin’s reaction to what had happened and saw his previously sparkling eyes turn dark. She knew what Kevin was thinking. She knew that her son wanted children – lots of children. It was apparent that Connie would be wonderful with kids. But could she care for them?

For Kevin’s part, he had never considered the ramifications that Connie’s deafness might have as far as a family was concerned. She made out well in the hearing world and he had learned that there were many aids that helped the deaf lead normal lives. But this small child had been hurt and Connie never realized it. By the time Connie had rearranged the puppets, the little boy had been whisked away and she was none the wiser. A part of his heart cracked when she lifted her eyes and smiled, innocently ignorant of what had happened nearby.

Kevin buried his fear. They would work this out. They had to…

*****

Nick and AJ were due to arrive soon. Kevin had tried to catch them and tell them not to come but both of them had either left their cells behind, which was unlikely, or had turned them off. They were just going to compare notes and wrap up some details before they headed for the studio in a few days. He wished he could reschedule that too, but they had booked far in advance and studio time seemed harder and harder to come by these days. Connie was leaving tomorrow to visit two of her authors who were feeling neglected and was due to return on the same day that they would begin to lay down a few tracks in anticipation of a future album. Jive seemed to get nervous if the group had too much free time.

Although he didn’t expect Nick and AJ to stay very long, the day had already been somewhat upsetting. After Ann left last week, Kevin and Connie had both enjoyed the ‘down’ time and pretty much stayed at home, reading, cooking and watching movies. They slept late and often didn’t bother to get dressed. Kevin practically lived in his boxers and Connie lounged braless in tank tops and panties much of the time. Most afternoons were spent making love and they managed to christen almost every room in the house, plus a countertop or two and a table. Sometimes their lovemaking was slow and lazy and sometimes it was frenzied and furious but it was always good and always filled with tender moments.

Often the sex was somewhat one-sided, a condition that Kevin fought at first but soon came to accept and enjoy. He had lost count of the number of times that he had spread his legs in order for Connie to go down on him. His early conditioning had taught him that reciprocation was only fair but Connie disagreed, not that she didn’t enjoy a little tongue-dancing herself.

“I love you,” she explained. “Sometimes, I just want to show you that, without you thinking about payback.”

Kevin’s brows had dropped and he had become very serious, although his reply made her laugh.

“Believe me, Connie. I don’t mind…”

“You’ll get you chances, darlin’….”

“But…..”

“No ‘buts’! I don’t think you realize how much pleasure I get from watching you get off. I love the fact that I can do that to you. Just think of it as an expression of affection – unless,” she added coyly, “you don’t like for me to take you in my mouth and suck and lick and nibble….”

“I think ‘like’ is too weak a word,” Kevin groaned, growing hard as she spoke. “And as far as your head between my legs being a ‘sign of affection’, well – it sure beats the hell out of a hug….”

But today had already had a few rough moments. After the birthday party fiasco, Connie had sent Leighanne and long email, offering her an apology about what had happened. She finally got a response this morning – a one liner form Leighanne saying, ‘ I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.’ She had said nothing about accepting Connie’s apology. That was it. The reply had hurt Connie and, despite Kevin’s feelings about it at the time, Leighanne’s lack of generosity, coupled with her abundance of drama, pissed him off.

Then Jeffrey had stopped by. He had something he wanted to show Kevin – alone. When they went into Kevin’s office, Jeffrey unrolled the magazine he had stuck under his arm and handed it to Kevin.

“Page ninety-eight.”

Jeffrey’s tone was flat, his face expressionless.

“What’s this about, Jeff?”

“Page ninety-eight,” Jeffrey repeated.

Kevin opened the magazine and began to thumb through the pages. He paused at page ninety-seven and saw an article about the opening of ‘Who’s Afraid of the Dark?’, the premier that he and Connie had attended just a few weeks ago. - the one where she’d had an anxiety attack when the lights had been turned out.

Kevin swallowed nervously before turning the page. Surely they couldn’t have…

It appeared that they not only could have, but did. At the bottom of a page filled with photographs submitted by several photographers, was a shot of Kevin and Connie. They were on the floor at the end of a hallway and she was hanging onto him for dear life, tears streaming down her face as Kevin held her close and tried to comfort her. The caption read ‘Looks like somebody IS afraid…’

“Is this why we didn’t get any PR shots of you at the premier?” Jeffrey carefully asked. “Because you left?”

Kevin found himself between a rock and a hard place. He didn’t want to humiliate Connie but he also felt he owed Jeffrey some sort of explanation.

“It’s a private matter, Jeffrey.”

“Not any more, Kevin. This is Premier magazine – not some tabloid rag. As far as I can tell, this hasn’t hit the internet yet, but it probably will. I need to have some sort of explanation ready.”

“It’s a private matter, I said!”

Kevin’s eye’s narrowed but not before Jeffrey saw them spark. He had reached an invisible line that he knew better than to cross, manager or not. Jeffrey cleared his throat and approached the potential problem from a different direction.

“Is this…uh…’private matter’ something that has been resolved?”

Kevin remained reticent. “We’re working on it, okay?”

Jeffrey sighed in defeat. He would be getting no more information from Kevin.

“Well, I’ll have to have something to say, if I’m asked – and I will be. Do you have any suggestions, or do you want me to make something up?”

“Make something up,” Kevin growled.

Jeffrey had left after that. Kevin had tossed the ball to him and he would have to deal with it. Despite his annoyance, he felt that he probably had the easier task. Kevin would have to show the picture to Connie.

And so he had. God, how he hated to do it, knowing what a sensitive subject it was for her. She looked so contented sitting out on the broad deck, sipping tea and watching people on the beach. Sometimes, you can just look at people and see that they are truly happy. Kevin saw this now, when he looked at the blue-eyed redhead who had so unexpectedly come into his life. He liked to think he was responsible for a large measure of that happiness and he didn’t want to see it dissolve.

“Hey, baby…” Kevin pulled out a chair and sat down.

“Hi, handsome,” Connie smiled. “Where’s Jeffrey? Didn’t he come?”

“Yeah. He’s gone already.” Kevin paused and laid the magazine on the table. “He wanted to show me something. You need to see it, too.”

Kevin began flipping through the pages. Something in his face made Connie’s stomach tighten a bit. His mouth formed a tentative smile but his eyes were very serious. After a few seconds, Kevin folded the magazine back and laid the offensive page in front of Connie.

“Bottom left,” he directed.

As he watched, Connie’s eyes fell to the photograph and widened. She stared at the picture for a short time before closing the magazine and directing her gaze back towards the ocean. She blinked several times, trying to rein in her emotions, before she looked at him again. When she did, he could see that her eyes were wet.

“I’m so sorry, Kevin….”

“Don’t be sorry, baby. Jeffrey bought this to me and I thought that you needed to see it, that’s all. He’s gonna handle it, but I didn’t want you to be caught off guard if you saw it someplace else or if someone asked you about it.”

“I see,” Connie murmured. “What did you tell Jeffrey?”

“I told him it was none of his business and that it was being resolved.” Kevin had been careful not to question Connie about her visits to the psychiatrist but, under the circumstances, he felt like he had to ask. “It is being resolved, isn’t Connie?”

Connie sniffed and wiped her eye with the tip of her finger. “I was wondering when you were going to get around to asking me about that.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry. It’s just that…”

“Don’t be silly,” she interrupted. “You’re my other half – my lover – the man I live with and want to marry. You have every right to know what’s going on, especially since this particular problem has affected you personally – and publicly. The doctor thinks we’re making some real progress, even though it’s only been a few weeks. I think so, too.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Kevin answered, taking her hand in his.

No more words were spoken for several minutes before Connie posed a question.

“What do you think Jeffrey will say?”

Kevin’s reply clarified nothing. “I don’t have a fucking clue….”

About ten days later they would discover that the ‘official’ statement regarding the photograph in Premier magazine was nothing short of a bald-faced lie.

Kevin Richardson and Constance O’ Rourke were simply acting on the theme and ambiance of the pre-screening festivities by putting some of their newly honed acting skills to use. It would appear that their classes have paid off. They were very convincing, weren’t they?

The explanation would be followed by quotes from a woman neither Kevin nor Connie had ever heard of, who claimed to be their acting coach. She would be very complimentary of their success in putting her instruction to use and would go on to say that she saw ‘a great future for either or both of them if they ever wanted to pursue a full-time acting career’.

Kevin would read the statements and wonder how much this solicited ‘testimony’ had cost him.

*****

Now he was waiting to get this meeting with Nick and AJ overwith. He was going to take Connie out tonight. Maybe they wold come home early and skinny-dip in the ocean. There would be a full moon tonight…

He didn’t realize that today would bring one more fly in the ointment.

Chapter 124

Nick and AJ screeched to a stop outside of Kevin’s house, whereupon AJ literally leaped from the passenger’s side door.

“Godammit, Carter! I am NEVER riding with you again as long as I live!”

Nick slowly unfolded himself from the driver’s seat and slammed his door. “Whassa matter with you, J? Kevin said one o’ clock and it’s…,” Nick glanced at his watch, “…like two minutes to one. Christ, we’re actually early!”

AJ lit the cigarette he held clenched between his teeth and inhaled deeply. “The way you were driving Nick, I’m surprised we didn’t get here yesterday! You scared the shit outta me, not to mention that busload of tourists and that Oriental guy driving the delivery truck! When I think that your father actually let you behind the wheel of a tour bus, it makes me cringe. I can’t believe you even have a driver’s license!”

“Aw, quit bein’ such a baby!” Nick scowled. “I got you here, didn’t I? I didn’t kill nobody… Just cuz you drive like an old lady…”

“Shut up! Get the music and let’s go. I want to get this over with and I’m sure Kevin does, too. Connie’s leavin’ tomorrow and….”

“Yeah, yeah,” Nick mumbled, leaning over the back seat. “I know. Prolly be used rubbers pouring out of every trashcan in the house by the time she leaves. He’s prolly bought stock in Trojan…”

“He’s one careful son of a bitch, alright,” AJ nodded. “Personally, I prefer my sausage without the casing, if you know what I mean…”

Nick raised his head and studied AJ over the hood of the car. “Yeah, well, I prefer my sausage without sores and rashes and shit…. Your dick’s gonna fall off one of these days, AJ. “

“Hey! I’m careful about who I sleep with!”

Nick rolled his eyes. “The only thing you’re careful about is whether or not your partner has big tits. Besides, I’ll bet Kevin doesn’t even use raincoats with Connie. I mean, they’re engaged and shit. She prolly takes pills or uses one of those diagrams or something…”

“It’s diaPHRAGM, you idiot!” AJ shot. “Not diaGRAM! And I doubt that Kevin would put up with one of those damn mini-frisbees! That’s like fucking a trampoline…”

“And you would know this because of all those trampolines you’ve fucked?”

“Shut up, asshole! Why don’t you just ask Kevin about what he does – how, where and when? I’m sure nothing would please him more than to discuss that with you. And while you’re at it…”

The ridiculous argument was halted when the mail delivery truck stopped nearby and the carrier opened Kevin’s box and slid several pieces of mail inside.

“Get the mail, Blondie. Let’s get this show on the road…”

Nick threw a folder of music at AJ and shuffled over to the box. As AJ stood, tapping his foot, Nick remained at the box, carefully examining each envelope.

“A letter from Mom!” Nick shouted waving a pale blue envelope.

“Don’t read his shit!” AJ groaned. “That’s private and none of your business!”

“A bill from Hackman’s Music! I’ll bet he bought that keyboard he was looking at…”

“Nick, stop…”

“Uh-oh….”

As AJ watched, Nick stared at the white envelope. Then he watched Nick flip through a few more pieces of mail and stop again. His curiosity had been piqued and he scurried over to the box. Something was wrong… Nick handed him two white, business envelopes, addressed to Connie. Both had computer printed address labels, neither had a return address and both were postmarked New York City. The only difference between the letters, were the postmarked dates. One had been forwarded from the hotel where Kevin and Connie had stayed before moving into their house.

“Fuck….” AJ mumbled under his breath.

As the pair turned from the mailbox and headed for the door, Nick reshuffled Kevin’s mail, sticking the questionable envelopes in among the letters, bills and flyers.

*****

This is nice, Kev… real nice…”

“Yeah,” Nick agreed. “Real homey-like.” He glanced around, taking in as much as he could of Kevin’s new house. “Where’s the pool table?”

“No pool table,” Kevin answered, shaking his head.

“How ‘bout the media room?” AJ’s head bobbed as he rubbed his hands together. He loved a well equipped movie/music room.

Kevin’s arms crossed. “No media room….”

AJ and Nick exchanged puzzled glances. Even his Florida house had had a pool table and media room….

“Pool?” Nick asked, straining to look through the walls of glass.

“For fuck’s sake,” Kevin growled. “We’ve got the whole goddamn Pacific ocean out there! Why would we need a pool?”

“Just wonderin’, Kev! Damn, don’t take my head off…” Nick pouted.

“Not that it would be any great loss…” AJ smiled.

“This from the trampoline fucker…” Nick shot back.

Thankfully, Connie appeared at the top of the stairs and insisted that she show them around. Nick and AJ feigned enthusiasm. It hadn’t sounded to them like there’d be much to see.

“Before I forget, here’s your mail,” Nick offered, holding out the small bundle of papers for Kevin to take. “You got a letter from your Mom…” AJ cringed. Kevin remained stone-faced. “And a flyer from someplace called ‘Brows’ in Hollywood…” Nick paused to consider that piece on information. “That one was addressed to you, Kev. I thought there was something different about you but I couldn’t put my finger on it…” Kevin’s stone-face was evolving into a glare but Nick seemed unaware of the visual warning and continued. “You know, Kev, if you’re going to one of those saloon places anyway, you ought to get them to snatch out that gray straggler you got goin’ over your right eye. Or maybe they could dye it or…”

“Give me my fuckin’ mail, Nick Nosey!’ Kevin spat, grabbing the envelopes from Nick’s grasp with one hand while rubbing his right brow with the other. “Go look at my goddam house!”

Nick shrugged and then followed behind AJ who was already halfway up the stairs. He paused at the railing to glance down at Kevin who was thumbing through his mail and winced a little when he saw him pull two white envelopes from the pile and study them carefully. Kevio looked a little upset. AJ called to him then and he left to join the tour.

When they returned, AJ and Nick could see that, although most of the mail remained untouched, the two white envelopes had been opened. It was hard to read Kevin’s expression. He looked angry and exhausted and hadn’t heard them return. AJ cleared his throat.

“Fan’s haven’t found you, have they Kev? You look a little irritated…”

Kevin’s head snapped towards them as if he had been startled, and he quickly folded the pages and stuck them under the other mail.

“Uh…no.. No nothing like that….” Kevin hesitated and then spoke apologetically. “Look fellas, how ‘bout we skip this today? I’m a little tired and we can do this in the studio. Brian and Howie will be there then, too. It’d probably be better….”

It wasn’t really a question, although it had been posed as one. Kevin wasn’t going to work today. He clearly had other things on his mind and both Nick and AJ knew what they were. They weren’t about to disagree, complain or push and before they knew what had hit them, they were both out the door and on their way, leaving Connie standing in the middle of the kitchen holding a tray full of sandwiches, unaware of what was going on.

*****

The ride back to the city was considerably slower than the trip to Malibu had been. Both men were struggling to find a solution to the problem that their brother was facing – a problem that he didn’t even know they were aware of. Nick broke the silence.

“I gotta get back to New York…”

“Maybe one more time,” AJ nodded. “But not until next week. You have to be in the studio so Kev won’t ask too many questions. I can cover for you after that.”