CHAPTER 135

It was unclear as to whether the light or chill of morning woke Kevin. He barely remembered stumbling back into his house last night and collapsing on the sofa, wet and still naked. Sand was tracked across the floor and scattered on the cushions where his feet had rested. It didn’t take long for the cobwebs to clear. Kevin jerked himself up and went up the stairs, hoping that Connie had had a change of heart. Apparently, she hadn’t. Their large bed was empty, still made and untouched.

Kevin’s shoulder’s sagged as he began to look around the room, hoping for some clue as to where she might have gone. There was nothing. Even the trashcan was empty. The only outward evidence that Connie had ever even been here was a bottle of Bal a Versailles that rested on the dresser – a gift from one of Connie’s authors that she had found too sweet and cloying, and a taupe colored silk gown that she had thrown across a chair. Kevin opened the closet and several drawers. Some of her things were still here but many were missing.

A hot shower helped to clear Kevin’s head. He needed a plan or at least a starting point. When he ran through a mental list of people he might call – people who may have heard from her – two names jumped to the top of his list. Hannah and Stephen Sullivan. Kevin checked the time as he slipped on his watch. It was 8:20. 11:20, New York time… He picked up the phone and then hesitated. Maybe he was jumping the gun. Connie might have emailed him. Of course! He ran downstairs to his office and flipped on his computer. Even if she hadn’t messaged him, he would write to her. That computer was her lifeline.

There was no message from Connie. He began to type furiously, begging her to tell him where she was and how sorry he was for what had happened, then he sat back and waited. He would give her an hour and then he would start making calls. As it turned out, he didn’t need an hour. His email was returned almost immediately. That hurt. Badly.

It was now almost noon in New York. Kevin flipped through his address book to the ‘P’s’. He would call Stephen first. Maybe he had contacted Connie or she had been in touch with him. He wondered if he should try to formulate a reason for his call – some kind of ‘story’. After all, if Connie wasn’t there, it would be clear to Stephen that Kevin had no idea where his fiancee was. Kevin frowned into the receiver and then began to dial, reasoning that it was really no one’s business and he didn’t owe Stephen an explanation. His reasoning only went as far as Stephen, however. It would be a different story if he had to talk to Hannah.

His call was answered almost immediately by Plymouth’s switchboard who transferred Kevin to Stephen’s secretary who identified herself as ‘Susan’.

“I’m sorry. Mr. Sullivan isn’t available. May I ask who’s calling?”

“Uh… this is Kevin Richardson…..of the Backstreet Boys…” Fuck! Why do I always say that? For a moment Kevin wondered if he had lost the connection. “Hello? Anybody there?”

Susan’s mouth had suddenly gone dry. She knew who Kevin Richardson was. Hell, everybody at Pilgrim knew…

“Mmmm…yes, Mr. Richardson. I, uh… well… Mr. Sullivan is no longer with Plymouth. Actually, it’s good that you called. We tried to notify Miss O’Rourke but there must be something wrong with her email server. Messages have been returned. Maybe you could tell her. We really need to get in touch with her.”

Now Kevin was silent. This was an unexpected bit of news. “When did Mr. Sullivan leave Plymouth? Connie never mentioned that he was going someplace else…”

“It was very sudden, Mr. Richardson. That’s one of the reason’s we’re trying to contact Miss O’ Rourke…” Susan suddenly became very unprofessional. It may have been because she was the office gossip but, more likely, she was a little star struck. It wasn’t often that she had a conversation with a real celebrity. “To tell you the truth, Kevin… Oh, is it alright if I call you Kevin?”

“Sure,” Kevin sighed.

“Well, to tell you the truth, no one here knows exactly what happened. Day before yesterday, everything was fine. Then yesterday morning, there’s a letter on my desk addressed to me. I open it and it’s from Mr. Sullivan, saying he’s quitting and he wants his resignation to be effective immediately. Well, you can imagine what happened… Everyone went crazy. This was totally out of the blue. Steph…Mr. Sullivan had seemed fine. We all knew that he and the wife were having a few little tensions but I don’t think that had anything to do with this. Anyway, after I let the Board of Directors in on the letter, they tell me to try and find him. I can’t….”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean he’s gone – disappeared. His wife and kid, too. No one seems to know where. Will you tell Miss O’ Rourke? Maybe she knows something.”

“You don’t suspect…”

“Well, of course that’s one of the first things you’re forced to consider. I mean, it is his company and all but the auditors came in right away. So far, everything looks fine. All I know is that he had a courier take a letter to his lawyer giving him power of attorney, if he needed it, but even his lawyer said that he didn’t know where he was. I really don’t think he does.”

When the call ended, Kevin returned to his address book to retrieve Hannah’s number but before he could pick up the receiver, he phone rang. Nick.

“Hey, Kev! You comin’ over here this morning?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, Dad. I’m okay. They’re trying to teach me how to walk with crutches…”

“You need to learn how to walk with feet…” Kevin teased, trying to sound light and upbeat.

“Ha. Ha. Are you comin’ over or what?”

“Christ, Nick. It’s barely nine in the morning!”

“I know but they get you up early around here and, besides, my mother is flying out here this afternoon to take me back to Florida to recoupatate..”

“Recouperate,” Kevin corrected.

“Yeah, that’s what I said. Anyway, I dropped a black bag on your floor when I ..uh.. was there and I wanted you to bring it to me when you come. And…uh…”

“What?”

“I kinda need to talk to you alone, so could you make up some excuse to tell Connie? Maybe she can come by later today or something…”

“You sound pretty mysterious,” Kevin frowned. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, really,” Nick assured him. “Do you think you’ll be able to come alone?”

“I don’t think that’ll be any problem, Nick…” Kevin mumbled, trying to fight the tightness in his throat. No problem at all… I’ll be there in a few.”

Click.

*****

Connie spent that morning writing to her authors. He letters were long and personal, full of apologies and recommendations regarding new editors. Then she blocked their email as well. She was hoping that she would feel a little better today but that wasn’t the case. The void she felt yesterday had been replaced by a dull ache. Reading Hannah’s response to the message she had sent the day before only made her tired. Hannah’s letter, full of questions, had fairly screamed from the screen and Connie had neither the strength, nor the desire, to respond at this time. In fact, she opted to go back to bed and that’s where she stayed for the rest of the day. When she slept, she didn’t think and when she didn’t think, she didn’t hurt.

In the meantime, back in New York, Hannah stared at the screen awaiting further explanation from Connie and cursing herself for never getting Kevin’s cell number. She lit a cigarette and leaned back in the leather chair, still staring at the screen. This has to have something to do with Kevin. Dollars to doughnuts, he doesn’t know where the hell she is, either…

Chapter 136

Kevin met DeeDee in the hospital corridor as she was leaving Nick’s room. She brushed past him with barely a word beyond ‘AJ’s with him.’ Although she didn’t know that Connie had left, she had enough sense to question why Connie would have slipped a note to Nick under her door when she could have given it to Kevin or brought it herself. She had spotted Kevin before he saw her. He looked like shit. Something was up she knew, but she also knew that Kevin would never confide in her. Maybe AJ could find out what was going on.

Under normal circumstances, Kevin would have noted Dee’s chilly attitude but he was just relieved she had gone on. When he went into Nick’s room, he and AJ were huddled together as if in the midst of some secret plot.

“I got your bag,” Kevin announced, interrupting the summit. AJ jumped off the bed as if the mattress had bitten him while Nick attempted to frantically jam a piece of paper back into and envelope. The paper had a deckled edge, like Connie’s, and the writing was small and neat – also like Connie’s. “What ‘ya got there, Nick?” Kevin asked pointing to the torn envelope.

“Nuthin’…”

“Looks like Connie’s hand….”

Busted... “It’s just note. You know, sayin’ she was sorry about what happened and all…”

“Can I see it?”

Nick watched Kevin carefully as he handed the note over. He and AJ had been questioning Connie’s letter when Kevin came in. As Kevin read, AJ and Nick saw his eyes darken – not in anger but in a kind of resigned fear. The two younger men glanced at each other as Kevin carefully folded the note and slipped it back in the envelope. The question hung in the air between them like a thick fog and, finally, AJ voiced it.

“Why did Connie give this note to Dee, Kev? Why didn’t she come here herself? With you?”

Kevin’s warning glare had little effect on either of them – maybe because it was diluted with an emotional weariness that he was finding increasingly difficult to fight. He may as well lay it out.

“I haven’t seen Connie since last night, when Nick broke his leg.”

AJ lowered his glasses. “Are you saying that you don’t know where she is?”

“That’s what I’m saying…”

AJ pressed on. “Is her stuff there? Did she leave you a note or anything?”

“Jesus Christ! What the fuck is this? Twenty Questions?” Kevin threw Nick’s bag against the wall. “I don’t need this goddamn interrogation, okay?” He drew a breath and began to speak again but this time his voice was low as if he were trying to hide his feelings. “Look, Nick… I’m glad you’re gonna be okay. I’ll call you in Florida is a couple of days…”

Kevin spun around and stepped towards the door, anxious to leave but AJ wasn’t ready to let him go.

“She’s left you, hasn’t she?”

Kevin froze in his tracks. Even he hadn’t dared say those words out loud and now, for a third party to recognize what had happened made it all too real. He didn’t turn as he spoke one word.

“Yes.”

The next voice he heard was Nick’s as he choked out a guilt laced question.

“It was because of me, wasn’t it?”

Kevin looked at his two bandmates. If he stayed, he would have to be honest and he wasn’t sure he could face that. Nick and AJ knew him well enough to recognize his bullshit and would call him on it. But, if he left, he would be pushing them away and they had been pushed enough. The fact was that he needed some support as much as they needed to give it. He’d spent years dismissing them when things got serious and rationalized that he was protecting them. Maybe he just didn’t want them to see his weak spots. He couldn’t walk out and leave Nick’s question hanging in the air thinking that all of this was his fault. Slowly, he walked back towards Nick’s bed. Sighing heavily he sat on the edge of the mattress and shook his head.

“No, Nick. It wasn’t your fault. It was my fault. I said some terrible things to her….”

“But you wouldn’t have said those things if you hadn’t been upset ‘cause of me getting’ hurt and all, so it was my fault…”

“That’s not true, Nick. Connie and I have had some things…”

“Like the letters?” AJ blurted.

AJ’s remark caught Kevin off guard. Surely he couldn’t mean… “And what letters would those be?” he glared at AJ as if daring him to answer.

While Kevin’s heat was directed at AJ, Nick felt compelled to come to his aid and attacked Kevin from the rear.

“The anonymous letters, Kev. The ones from New York…”

Kevin had been blindsided and it showed all over his face. His emotions ricocheted off each other like gun shot against a boulder. He felt betrayed by Brian, angry at his lack of privacy and embarrassed by the letter’s contents. He didn’t look at either of them as he tried to steady himself and retain an even keel.

“My cousin has a big mouth…” he said flatly trying to hide his anger.

“Brian didn’t say nothin’,” AJ corrected. “He doesn’t have a big mouth. Nick and me…well, I guess you could say we got big ears.”

Kevin seemed to age before their eyes. Nick and AJ waited for Kevin to blow up but the explosion never came. Instead, he ran his hands over his face and nodded with a kind of haggard acceptance. He couldn’t really think of much to say.

“Well, the letters are not the reason Connie’s gone. It doesn’t matter much now anyway.” He lifted himself off the mattress and, once again, headed for the door. “I’m kinda beat. I’ll talk to you guys later.”

“Don’t you wanna know who sent the letters?” Nick yelled to Kevin’s back.

Kevin stumbled to a halt and, once again, turned. He didn’t feel like playing ‘Hardy Boys’.

“I really don’t know how to do that, Nick. Like I said, it really doesn’t…”

“I know Kevin… I know who sent those letters…” When Kevin continued to stare blankly, Nick issued an order. “Give me my bag…”

For the next forty minutes, Nick detailed the trips to New York, ending his summation by handing Kevin the leather album. Kevin had never considered Stephen and yet, it did make a weird sort of sense. Stephen had always seemed a little possessive of Connie but in an ‘employer/employee’ sort of way, or so he thought. Kevin had concluded long ago that Connie was valuable to Stephen as an editor and even Hannah had made casual references to their special relationship. He remembered that Stephen had balked about Connie working away from New York but had never thought to question the fact that it might be personal.

The album had made his stomach twist. Everything Nick had told him about, from Plymouth’s mail, to the computer labels, to the clippings in Stephen’s trash, pointed directly to Sullivan. Now this damned album… When Kevin turned to the stained pictures, he lost it. Like Nick before him, he recognized what the smears were and the idea of Stephen, or any man, jacking off over Connie – pleasuring himself while fantasizing about what was his - caused the explosion that Nick and AJ had expected earlier.

“THAT GODDAMN COCKSUCKING SON OF A BITCH!” Kevin screamed, hurling the album across the room. The edge of the leather album banged against the concrete block wall, splitting the binding and sending pages sailing across the room. “I’M GOING TO KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER!”

As AJ began collecting the scattered sheets, Nick tried to calm Kevin a bit.

“Look Kev… we’ll get this straight. You can get somebody to get to him – maybe even put his ass in jail for buggin’ you and Connie…”

“NO WAY! I WANT A PIECE OF THAT BASTARD MYSELF! FUCK ALL THAT SHIT!”

AJ raised his head. “Don’t be stupid, Kev! Don’t you be going shootin’ off to New York by yourself. The asshole knows Nick was there and probably knows the album is missin’ by now. You think he ain’t gonna be ready with his own lawyers and shit? What are you gonna say to him?”

That’s when reality hit Kevin full force. He couldn’t really say anything to Stephen, could he? He wasn’t there. He had disappeared.

And Connie had disappeared, too…. They had both fallen from the face of the earth at the same time. It had to be a coincidence.

It had to be….