CHAPTER 17
Connie hesitated, wondering if she should offer some explanation,
some excuse for being there. Part of her wanted to run or to lie
about what brought her to his door. Kevin was staring at her - waiting.
She took a step back and watched as his shoulders seemed to slump
at her retreat. She didn’t want to leave. A gust of wind blew in
from his open window and Connie glanced towards billowing, sheer
curtains. Instinctively she wrapped her arms around herself, hoping
to stop her body from shivering in the breeze. It didn’t work and
she began to tremble.
“You’re cold..” Kevin whispered.
She didn’t hear but had already begun to turn back to him as
he spoke. Connie watched his mouth form four words. The dimness
made his expression unclear but his countenance seemed serious
and concerned.
“Come here. You’re tired…”
Kevin patted the empty space beside him and Connie moved forward
to fill it. She nodded but said nothing as she lifted her gown
slightly and crawled into his bed on her knees and lay down beside
him on her stomach. Her head was turned towards him as she rested
it on the pillow and she studied his face waiting to see some
sign of exasperation or maybe a frown. She saw neither and let
her eyes close when Kevin pulled the bedcovers up around her bare
shoulders.
Kevin watched Connie’s eyes close as he covered her and felt
a small smile form on his lips when he heard her sigh. She had
been scared badly tonight and her fear had lingered in the aftermath
of her assault. She might deny his comfort but she still sought
his protection. Their positions mirrored each other as he settled
in, also lying on his stomach and facing her. There must have
been at least eighteen inches separating them but when he saw
her fingers creep out from under the sheet to the pillow, Kevin
initiated some small physical contact and moved his hand next
to hers so that their fingers barely touched. For a fleeting moment,
Connie seemed disturbed by his small advance but then her expression
softened and her fingers responded by curling themselves tightly
around his fourth and fifth digits. For the second time since
he had met Constance O’ Rourke, Kevin fell into a calm and contented
sleep. Two hours later he stirred and discovered that he was alone.
*****************
Connie wasn’t sure what had awakened her. A dream perhaps. She
could hear in her dreams but she only heard the sounds that were
a part of her life before the accident. The last sounds she had
heard were the screeching of tires and screams of her friends
who were also in the car. After that - silence. When she dreamt,
she could hear the voices of her parents and her brothers. She
could hear the sounds of singing birds and sizzling meat, of splashing
water and ticking clocks. Everyday sounds that many people had
stopped hearing long ago. She thought that she missed the sounds
of laughter most of all and she yearned to hear the sounds of
passion. Sometimes she wished that she had never been able to
hear. She often made guesses about the tone and timbre of the
voices she had never heard. AJ’s lips moved rapidly when he spoke
and his smile was quick. She imagined his voice to be loud and
crisp. Matthew Dylan wore a perpetual scowl and she thought of
his voice being more like a growl. Kevin spoke slowly and deliberately.
He was more serious - a little slower to smile. He was a big man
but she wondered if he didn’t speak softly. She would never know.
She and Kevin had closed the space between them in their sleep
and their legs had tangled. She watched him for a moment before
she slipped out of his bed. He had been sleeping peacefully, his
mouth slightly opened. He had frowned and shifted when she pulled
away but he didn’t wake. Her hair had been caught under his arm.
A fragment of an earlier conversation they’d had came to her mind
- their ‘discussion’ about the Millennium album and tour. Connie
wasn’t sure why that particular memory surfaced. Maybe it was
because the pictures she had seen of him glaring into the crowd
at the beginning of the show were so unlike the man she saw lying
beside her now, asleep and relaxed.
Connie went quietly down the stairs and through the darkness
to the veranda. She left the door ajar - she wouldn’t be long.
Everyone was asleep. Now was a good time to do this. No one would
see her. She followed a bricked walkway to a building away from
the main house and entered the recording studio.
*******************
Kevin jerked his head toward the door to the bathroom. It was
open. His surprise at finding Connie gone was tempered with disappointment.
What happened? He threw back the covers and sat for a moment
trying to get his bearings before he went to the door that opened
onto the hallway and peeked out. Connie’s door was open and he
padded across the hallway and stuck in his head inside of her
room. Empty. When he continued his search down stairs,
he saw that the door leading to the veranda was open and stepped
outside to take a look. Nothing. Then, when he turned to come
back inside, a faint glow coming from across the lawn caught his
attention. Just past a small stand of palmetto trees he could
see the recording studio. A light was on inside. Someone was there.
Kevin began to make his way down the walk and through the trees.
***************
Nick had been coming out of the bathroom when he glanced out
of his window and caught a glimpse of Connie hurrying towards
the studio. The brisk breezes that came off the Gulf were whipping
her long gown. The image had startled him for a moment, not only
because it was unexpected but also because it was so ghost-like.
He sat in the window seat for several minutes wondering why she
was up and if he should follow her. He decided to wait for a bit.
Maybe she just went out for some air. Before long, another figure
came into view, taking the same route through the trees. Kevin….
What’s going on? Nick sat and waited. Despite the hour, he
was now wide-awake.
**************
The entire building seemed to be throbbing as ‘Don’t Want You
Back’ blared through every speaker in the studio. Kevin stood
in the darkness of the control room and watched Connie through
the glass. Although the studio was supposed to be sound proof
he could hear the music distinctly. He checked a switch near the
soundboards. It was off. He should have heard nothing. The track
had to be unbearably loud in order for the sound to permeate the
control room. What is she doing?
The studio lights were set on a dimmer switch, which had been
turned down low. As Kevin watched, Connie walked over to the largest
speaker in the room and leaned her whole body against it as if
she were hugging the big black box. Her face was pressed against
the fabric that covered the woofer. She stood like that for several
seconds and soon he saw her hand slamming against the side of
the speaker, keeping time to the music. When the next track started,
she turned and rested her back against box. Her eyes were closed
and her head moved back and forth as her lips curled into an enigmatic
smile and her long hair swayed to the rhythmic vibrations. Soon
she moved her hands over and behind her head and rested them on
the top of the speaker. The movement caused her thin gown to press
against he body, defining and enhancing the curve of her breasts
and hips.
He felt guilty about spying on her this way. He was intruding
yet he couldn’t pull himself away. During ‘Back to Your Heart’
and ‘Spanish Eyes’, Connie knelt down on the wooden floor, placing
her palms against the boards. Her eyes closed again as her head
and shoulders began to sway. The light was behind her now and
he could see the outline of her breasts as she bent over the floor.
When ‘Close To You’ started, she rose and began to dance, holding
her arms out from her body and turning slowly. The low light still
shown on her from behind and poured through the gauze that covered
her. She looked almost naked - as if she were dancing in a cloud.
He had never seen anything more beautiful. In that moment Kevin
Richardson received his epiphany. He was in love. No doubt about
it. The realization was almost physical. It was what he always
believed it was supposed to be. On the heels of that observation
came another poignant and startling realization. Connie can’t
hear the music. She has to feel it. Connie’s…… deaf. Kevin
felt as if he had been sucker punched.
He continued to stare as Connie fought to find the rhythms of
‘The Perfect Fan’. It was difficult for her and she leaned against
the speaker once again - this time her brow furrowed in concentration.
He wasn’t aware of his tears until his vision became too blurred
to see her. As the track began to reach its end, Kevin wiped his
face and nose with the back of his hand and slipped outside, following
the brick path back towards the house.
Nick stepped out from the unlit kitchen when Kevin came inside.
“Is everything all right?” he asked quietly.
Kevin jumped and spun around. He hadn’t expected to see anyone
else tonight. Their eyes locked and Nick knew that Kevin had discovered
Connie’s secret. They were silent for a moment before Kevin spoke.
“You know, don’t you Nick…..”
Kevin’s tone wasn’t accusatory. He sounded more…. . hurt. Nick
cast his eyes to the floor.
“I just found out yesterday - by accident.” He looked back up
into Kevin’s face. “I was going to tell you as soon as we…”
Kevin held up his hand to stop Nick’s explanation. “It’s all
right. Does she know that you know?”
Nick shook his head.
“Okay. You go on back to bed. Everything’s fine.”
“But…”
“Now, Nick. Please. Before Connie comes back…”
Nick nodded and went back up the stairs with Kevin following.
When they reached Kevin’s door, Nick stopped and turned to him
again.
“Is she okay?”
“Yes.”
In the light of the hallway, Nick could see that Kevin had been
upset. His expression was hard but his eyes still had the tinge
of redness that’s brought on by salty tears. Kevin’s feelings
had already moved farther than Nick realized.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah…” Kevin nodded as he attempted a half-hearted smile. “Go
back to bed.”
***************
Kevin feigned sleep when he heard Connie come back into his
room. His mind was racing, replaying all of their encounters -
all of the times he had felt that she was ignoring or rebuffing
him. All of the times she had made him angry. He doubted that
he would sleep any more tonight. She slipped quietly back into
his bed but this time she burrowed against him, her skin chilled
from the night air. It took all of his strength not to squeeze
her against him, to continue his charade of sleep and ignorance.
Thankfully, she was asleep in minutes, her breaths deep and regular
and accented with soft murmurs from time to time. Kevin’s lips
brushed across her temple. He was in love with a woman he’d met
only a few weeks ago - a woman who had driven him to anger and
confusion - a woman he had never even kissed. He knew so little
about her and yet, he wanted her desperately. She had never shown
that kind of interest in him and yet, he wanted her desperately.
She was deaf and had never been aware of the music that was such
a large part of his life and yet, he wanted her desperately. His
feelings were completely irrational and yet………
CHAPTER 18
“Connie must be sleeping in.” Hannah remarked
as she sliced a banana over Nick’s bowl of Lucky Charms. “I wonder
how things went last night.” She popped the last inch of fruit into
her mouth and began to rinse her hands in the sink. “She must have
been out late. Hope that means she had a good time….”
Nick wanted to tell Hannah about what he had seen last night
and that Kevin had somehow found out about Connie’s deafness.
He was stopped when Brian and Leighanne came into the kitchen,
shortly followed by AJ. He wouldn’t risk saying anything yet,
especially with Leigh around.
“Is Kevin up yet?” Leighanne asked timidly.
She knew that, sooner or later, he would probably have a few
choice words to say to her about her interference in his life.
She was going to have to give Brandi some instruction in the art
of finesse and manipulation. Leighanne could handle Brian but
she wasn’t so sure about his cousin.
“Haven’t seen him...” Nick answered as he brought his bowl over
to the table.
“Looks like he and Connie are staying under the sheets this
morning.” Hannah remarked purposely, painting a scene for Leighanne’s
benefit and hoping that her insinuation had hit its mark.
Hannah was developing a perverse pleasure in baiting Leighanne.
She was aware that Leigh was consumed over Kevin’s apparent interest
in Connie and so her phrasing had been anything but innocent.
The problem was that Hannah didn’t know that Kevin and Connie
had, indeed, shared a bed last night. Her deliberate innuendo
was not lost on Leighanne who reacted just as Hannah had hoped,
choking on her gourmet coffee in the process.
“Wh...What?” Leighanne gasped and started coughing.
Her glamorous and sultry image received a severe blow when her
coffee began to erupt through her nasal passages. Hannah loved
it. So did Nick, who wasn’t all that crazy about Leighanne and
lived for moments like these.
Yeah, Terry must have brought Connie home pretty late last night
and I think Kevin went to a club...” Hannah was the picture of
nonchalance as if she hadn’t intended for Leigh to misunderstand.
“Oh...”
Brian gave his girlfriend a cautionary stare. She’d already
crossed over the line several times as far as Kevin’s personal
business was concerned. Leigh caught his signal and quieted -
for the time being. She still planned to keep her eyes and ears
open.
***************
Kevin did manage to doze for a little while. When he had last
checked the clock, it was six AM. It was now 10:30 and Connie
was still pressed up against him, sound asleep. Her left arm lay
across his chest and her fingertips rested in the hollow of his
neck against his throat. Kevin wondered if her position served
some purpose.
"Connie?" he said aloud, knowing that she wouldn't hear him.
"Are you awake?"
Her fingertips traveled gently up his neck, barely touching
his skin, and caused Kevin to shudder. In her sleep, she had felt
the vibrations of his words against her skin and stirred. The
delicacy and innocence of her touch on his neck provided one of
the most strangely erotic and tender moments that Kevin had ever
experienced.
The rush of emotions that he had felt when he discovered Connie's
secret had been calmed with sleep and sunlight but his heart had
been unaffected by the passing hours. He was a man in love. He
lay perfectly still as her head rested against his shoulder, basking
in the comfort of her body next to his and relishing this quiet
interlude. He didn't have to think right now. All he had to do
was lie quietly and let his feelings wash over him. Kevin felt
joyful. Kevin felt scared. Kevin even felt grateful but most of
all, for the first time in a long time, Kevin felt alive.
He was jerked from his state of contentment by the sound of
AJ's familiar cackle coming from the front of the house and he
glanced towards the door of the bedroom. It was cracked. Damn…
He was momentarily torn. He didn't want to move but he didn't
want snoopy Leighanne coming up the stairs and getting an eyeful,
either. That's just what he needed was for Leigh to find Connie
in his bed. Kevin opted for safety over comfort and gently removed
Connie's fingers from his throat. She murmured, shifted and turned.
Shit… Slipping from the bed, he padded over to the door
and peeked through the portal, finding the hallway empty. He was
just stepping back into the bedroom when he heard AJ call to Howie.
"Just leave her a message, for Christ's sake!"
Kevin smirked. Howie's latest girlfriend never answered the
phone. It had become an inside joke among the guys. He was about
to turn the lock on his door when a thought occurred to him. Message….
Email…. 'About Your Clearwater Replacement.…' Kevin hesitated
and glanced over his shoulder. Connie was still asleep. No one
was in the hallway.
Once again, he cracked the door, paused and then made a dash
across the runner and into Connie's bedroom. She hadn't turned
off her computer last night. Her list of messages was still on
the screen.
Kevin panicked for a moment when he didn't see the email from
Stephen Sullivan. He anxiously scrolled down the page and then
breathed a sigh of relief. There it was… Connie had received additional
messages since last night and Sullivan's email had been pushed
below the viewing area of the screen. He had shut Connie's door
when he came into her room but he looked up again to make sure
he wasn't being watched. He quickly double clicked on the subject
line. He couldn't believe he was reading her private mail.
What in the hell is going on down there? I haven't heard any
complaints from Hannah! Are you really asking me to replace
you? I can't believe you're serious. I can tell by reading between
the lines on your notes that someone's giving you a hard time.
I'm a little surprised that you can't handle this, Connie. Is
this something personal? I expect to hear from you ASAP. Fuck! He's got a replacement lined up… Kevin slowly moved
the cursor to the 'delete' box. He felt like a thief This is
so wrong… and read the note one more time. I could talk
Connie into staying.. Jesus! She has to stay! Kevin's forefinger
tapped nervously on the mouse. But what if she doesn't? So
much has happened… Kevin took a breath and shut his eyes.
Click.
Bye-bye, Stephen….
The hall was still clear. Kevin stole back to his door, entered
and turned quickly to fasten the lock, anxious to reclaim his
place between the sheets. When looked at Connie lying there, however,
he reluctantly changed his mind. She was still sleeping soundly
on her side, the covers kicked down off of her exposed legs. Folds
of gauze fabric draped themselves across the uppermost part of
her thighs, revealing her long and slender legs, which had bent
slightly at the knee. Kevin could almost see the creamy curve
of her backside. He became aware that he was breathing through
his mouth. He had dressed her for bed last night. He knew that
no panties lay between the translucent gauze and velvety warmth
of her skin. His imagination took off and he saw himself lying
behind her in a spoon, pressing himself against her bare cheeks.
The capped sleeve of her gown had fallen down one shoulder, exposing
the top of her breast. Kevin couldn't take his eyes off of her.
One narrow hank of her hair curved around her neck and disappeared
between the cleft of her breasts while he remaining mass of soft,
red curls spilled over the pillow and on to the mattress. He wanted
nothing more than to completely wrap himself around her. He was
already thinking of her as his.
Kevin's hand moved unconsciously to the growing bulge beneath
the silk of his boxers and he closed his eyes for a moment, letting
out a soft moan. His desire for her was great but his common sense
was greater. He sighed and forced his hand to drop from his hardness.
Shower… After one more look, he went into the bathroom,
adjusted the nozzle and turned on the water. When he stepped back
into the bedroom after fifteen minutes, his bed was empty.
***************
Connie stood under shower trying to wake up. She knew she should
be tired but felt oddly rested despite the physical and emotional
dramas of last night. The bruises on her upper arms and shoulders
were still tender and served as a not-so-gentle reminder of Terry
Mitchell's aggression the night before. Her attitude towards Kevin
had undergone a definite shift as well and she reconsidered the
possibility that they had just gotten off to a rocky start. She
had managed to isolate herself from his judgements to a small
degree and remain professional but last night had changed all
of that. Her vulnerability had been exposed to him and he had
reciprocated with tenderness and compassion. She felt that she
had finally gotten a glimpse of the real man inside the serious
and unyielding shell of Kevin Richardson. Would the gentleness
be there today or would things revert back to cautious dynamic
they had had before her date?
She had had awakened to find herself alone. The bathroom door
was closed and there was a line of light coming from beneath it
so she slipped quickly out of bed and went to her room. The shame
and embarrassment that had totally escaped her last night came
with a vengeance this morning and in the aftermath of violence,
tears and comfort she wondered what Kevin must think of her. She
avoided going downstairs for a long as she could. She dressed
slowly and deliberately. She wrote a little copy and checked her
email, hoping for messages that required an immediate response.
There were none. When she felt she could play for time no longer,
she went down.
She could see the group gathered on the front porch and Connie
watched them for a few moments from behind the screen in the front
door. They looked animated and happy. Kevin stood back from the
others, leaning against the railing and smiling weakly at their
banter but not really participating in the conversation. Then
he abruptly turned and looked at her as if she had announced herself.
This startled her and she took a step back. Kevin raised his chin
a bit, unnoticed by the others, signaling her to come out onto
the porch with them but Connie cast her eyes to the floor and
shook her head. Kevin responded by pulling himself away from the
railing and walking towards her, determined that she should join
the group. He had seen her discomfort. Now several pairs of eyes
were focused in her direction and she had no choice but to come
out and join the conversation. She really didn't feel like small
talk. Kevin reclaimed his place against the railing and Connie
stood beside him, arms folded across her chest.
"Connie - you sleepyhead!" Brian chided. "'Bout time you joined
the living out here!"
She smiled and nodded. "You're right. I'm feeling lazy this
morning."
"Long night?" Hannah asked.
"Yes… of course…" Leighanne added with the innocence of a viper.
"How was that hot date with Terry? Isn't he a dream? A girl could
do worse, that's for sure…"
Connie could feel her face grow warm and Leighanne's feigned
sweetness grew into an intense curiosity at Connie's reaction.
She couldn't bring herself to respond to Leigh's comments and
after a moment of silence, she felt Kevin's palm press into the
small of her back unseen by the others. His touch calmed her momentary
agitation.
The group was suddenly distracted by the sound of a finely tuned
car engine barreling up to the house at a high rate of speed and
Connie's previous agitation turned into full-blown panic. It was
a silver Porche with the license plate 'LAWYRLUV'.
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