CHAPTER 37

"Tris, since I'm the one here who's so insecure, I think you'd better show me."

Tristan smiled at the challenge set before her. She bent and started to remove her shoes and stockings.

"No, baby...please.", Kevin pleaded.

"What?"

"Stay the way you are." Then he added, singing softly and grinning, "I want it that way."

Tristan walked to him and put her hands on his face.

"Am I your fire, Kevin?"

"My one desire, Tris."

Tristan's high heels made it easier to reach Kevin's face. She moved her hand to his neck and kissed him lightly on the mouth. Kevin responded by running his tongue over her bottom lip seeking entrance. His hands had come around her waist and she felt them moving up towards her breasts. Tristan stepped back from him, breaking contact.

"What, Tris? What's wrong?" He looked concerned.

"I'm showing you, remember? You don't do anything....Not yet.", she whispered.

She took his arms from around her body and moved them to his sides, rubbing his forearms lightly.

"Aw, baby, come on!", he whined. "I need to feel you!"

Tristan smiled seductively and kissed his collarbone. "Oh you'll feel me, Kevin...Believe me."

Kevin's eyes grew wide as he looked into her face. Her hands moved up his arms to his shoulders and then lightly came down his chest and stopped at his nipples. She let her thumbs barely graze their surface. Kevin whimpered and leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. Her lips followed her thumb and kissed him lightly there. When her tongue began flicking the tiny buds, Kevin moaned and brought his hands up behind her head, wanting to keep her at that spot.

Tristan stopped using her tongue and separated her mouth from him. He looked down at her as she reached behind her head and took his hands, gently placing them back by his side.

'"Tris.....", he began to beg, moaning.

She shook her head at him and he closed his eyes again and sighed deeply, letting his head fall back against the wall with an audible thud. Then Tristan moved back to his chest. She locked on to his other nipple, biting him gently, this time. Her ear was close to his heart and she could hear it begin to beat faster. Kevin was trying to control his moans but he wasn't all that successful. He was finding it hard to keep his pleasure in his throat.

When her lips started moving down towards his navel, his whole body stiffened and she could feel his hardness against her breasts. She reached down to free him from his boxers so he could feel her, too. She moved her breasts against him before continuing down his stomach. Kevin grabbed her shoulders to hold her as he began moving against her.

Again, she pulled away and tried to take his hands form her shoulders.

"Tris, please.....I can't do this!" He was still pushed against her and breathing heavily. "It's been too long."

"If you can't do this, Kevin, then I can't do this." She cupped his testicles in both oh her hands, squeezing tenderly and running her thumbs across the skin.

"God damn, Tris!", he gasped "Okay, okay...." He reluctantly let go of her shoulders.

Tristan knew that this was torturing him, but it was a sweet torture, one that he wanted to stop yet never wanted to end. The hardest part for Kevin was not the desire for physical release, but the loss of control over the situation. Their lovemaking was mutually shared and unquestionably enjoyed, but Kevin was the chief choreographer.

Tristan gave him another smile, but it was not returned. He had begun to sweat and he looked like he was hurting. Tristan put her hands on his backside and dipped her tongue into his navel.

"Soon, Kevin..", she murmured and he groaned.

Kevin watched Tristan move her way downward. She was on her knees in front of him. His hands were clenched into fists, his knuckles white. And then he felt her go down on him and he groaned out loud, crying her name. His hands flew out again, this time into her hair, against her head and he held her down on him so he could feel her mouth and lips on his hardness. This time, she didn't pull back. She didn't remove his hands. She slid her mouth back up his shaft, stopped at the tip and sucked lightly.

"Now, Kevin," she whispered into his manhood as she took him in again.

Kevin fought for air as he felt her go down on him again and again, her tongue working on him and her teeth lightly scraping him from time to time. His hands wound themselves more tightly into her hair to hold her steady as his hips began to move. His head begin to swirl, like he was dizzy, as he felt his climax approaching. Then her hands moved from his buttocks to his balls. As she lifted them and embraced them with her fingers, he felt himself contract. His fingers dug into her hair and he poured himself into her. He held his breath as his seed spilled down her throat and then released it with a groan, murmuring her name. Kevin felt his knees buckle and he began to slide down against the wall until he hit the floor. He was breathing heavily, eyes closed and his hair wet from perspiration. Kevin reached out for Tristan, found her and pulled her up against his chest.

"Jesus Christ, Tristan....I think you may have killed me."

"Don't die on me yet, Kevin. We still have some time before the show."

He smiled, spent and satisfied, and closed his eyes once again.

**********

Tristan spent the next few days on the road with Kevin before she had to return to Orlando. She had forgotten the wonders of a tour bus and laughed when she took a look at the bunks again. They seemed smaller, if that was possible.

She had brought a letter with her addressed to Nick. It was from Holly who wanted him to have a personal note from her, but didn't know how to get one to him since they were moving so quickly. Tristan waited until there weren't so many people around so she could give him the letter privately.

"Nick?", Tristan called to him as he was climbing back on the tour bus to retrieve a sketch book. "I have a special delivery for you!"

Nick grinned. he still appreciated surprises unlike the others. "What? A present?"

"No, a letter."

"Letter?...Is it a fan letter or something?" He was practically pouting from disappointment and Tristan had to laugh at him.

"No, but I think she isa fan....and it smells good!"

Tristan handed him the pale yellow envelope and he held it up to his nose to sniff it. It smelled like vanilla and Tristan watched his eyes sparkle behind the yellow rectangle.

"Who do you think it's from?", she teased. "Some lovesick girl?"

"I hope it's from a lovesick woman. Tris!"

Tristan watched Nick for a moment before she left him to Holly's letter. Nick had yet to build a wall around himself like the others. Oh, he'd laid a couple of bricks along the way but he was still open and optimistic. Tristan hoped he could stay that way. She found herself wondering if Kevin had ever been like Nick and how many hurtful or harsh things must have happened to him for his wall to be so high. Maybe if she couldn't break it down, she could climb over it. Tristan left Nick to read his letter.

Nick held the letter for a few minutes, savoring the feel of it in his ands. He probably hadn't gotten three real letters in his life. What a simple pleasure - yet few people bothered anymore. He opened the envelope very carefully, not wanting to damage any part of it. Then he pulled out the pale sheets.

Dear Nick,

I always liked letters and I hope you do, too. E-mails are always a little impersonal just by their nature and you can't re-read phone calls. Am I right?

I read about the tour everyday. It sounds like things are going well for you over there. I'm so happy for you, Nick. But I'm going to be selfish and tell you that, while I'm happy for you, I'm sad for me. I miss you so much and hope that soon we can continue what we started here. I hope I don't sound too forward, but I swear, Nikolas, I feel like if I don't have your body up against mine soon, I may actually die. Is that dramatic enough for you?

I know that it's hard for you to call, but maybe if you can find the time in the next couple of weeks, we can "discuss" this over the phone. If we can "talk about it" in depth and detail while we're apart then maybe we'll be ready to explore it in more detail when you get home without wasting too much time. I hope you understand what I'm getting at, Nick.

I'll wait to hear from you, my angel.

All my love,

Holly

PS Don't forget massage oil.

Nick's pants were suddenly uncomfortable. He carefully refolded the letter and put in the hidden pocket of his carry on bag like it was a secret treasure. The he pulled out his itinerary, adjusted himself and searched for a window of time that he could spend on the phone with Holly and a bottle of oil.

********

Kevin loved Italy and couldn't wait to get there so he could play guide for Tristan. The country was incredibly beautiful and romantic and perhaps because Italians loved lovers, they were rarely hounded or photographed there.

The group still made appearances at hospitals and charitable events whenever they could. It was at one of these events that Kevin began to reevaluate his and Tristan's relationship. The boys had been asked to visit a local children's hospital - something they did often. Kevin had asked Tristan to come along and afterward they would take in a few more sights of the city. Howie and AJ were in the mood to shop, so they planned to all have lunch and look around together.

Tristan waited in the lobby of the hospital while the guys made some goodwill visits to some very sick children. Most of these children would not be coming home and Tristan often wondered how the group could bear to do this week after week.

When the visits were over, Kevin went to meet Tristan in the lobby only to find she wasn't there. With the help of a translator he discovered that she was being taken on a tour of the hospital by a young volunteer and should be back any second. When the seconds turned into minutes, he decided to go look for her himself.

He finally found her at the nursery - not outside looking through the glass, but inside the nursery itself which housed infants suffering from terrible illnesses like cancer and AIDS. It was a small facility which held about a dozen babies, all of whom had little hope of recovery.

Kevin watched as Tristan held a small infant in her arms, rocking, stroking his face and arms, and talking to him, even though the baby couldn't understand a word. The baby had been inconsolable a few moments ago but was now calm and sleeping. She continued to rock and stroke the child's arms. It looked like she was singing to him. A nurse came over and spoke to her and she smiled.

It occurred to Kevin that in all these months he had never seen her interact with a baby or small child. He had seen her with his niece and nephew, but not in this same way. His family had actually done the caretaking. Watching Tristan there, Kevin suddenly recalled what Mutt had said to him so many months ago. The girl never even had a doll to play with and never knew the difference.

When Tristan checked her watch and made a move to leave, Kevin left the window and returned to the lobby to wait for her. She hadn't seen him at the nursery.

Kevin was somewhat subdued for the rest of Tristan's visit and she assumed, correctly in part, that it was because she was leaving the next evening. They spent the next day sequestered in the hotel room. Their only disturbance came from an envelope with a note attached to it that had been slipped under the door. Nick had written a letter to Holly and was asking Tristan to deliver it for him. Kevin had laughed saying it was probably the first letter he had ever written to anyone and that he could have mailed it - it wasn't like Holly was moving around from city to city like they were. But Tristan thought it was romantic and was happy to play the role of courier.

Finally Kevin and Tristan had to get dressed to go to the venue. It was quiet as Tristan packed up her things. Her flight was leaving at 10PM - she would have to leave during the show. They wouldn't see each other again until the tour ended.

Tristan stood at the side of the stage and watched the show along with the fans. It was a wonderful production and there was a real sense that the audience appreciated the effort that went into the staging of such a show. Kevin and Tristan kept their eyes on each other as much as they could. Then during the fifth number, he looked to her and she was gone.

CHAPTER 38

The internet was still a large part of Tristan's life in many ways. It was on the world wide web that she kept up with Kevin and the group. His calls were sporadic at best. She tried to call him occasionally, but there was usually no answer. The computer provided her with concert photos as well as candids taken by fans and paparazzi. Although she hated the idea of surreptitious photographs, having been the victim of them herself, she couldn't deny that seeing pictures of Kevin doing everyday types of things gave her a certain thrill.

Almost two weeks after Tristan's return, several packages arrived from Milan, some addressed to Kevin, some to her. Kevin had been shopping and had shipped his goodies home ahead of him. Tristan was excited, almost giddy, about the packages. Presents had been rare in her life until Kevin had come into it. He was always generous with her, not because she needed his generosity, but because she had become so much a part of him that he instinctively recognized things, however small, that would bring her pleasure and he wanted her to have them. Tristan began to open the boxes addressed to her. Kevin had scribbled a note on the outside of them - GO AHEAD AND OPEN . The boxes were filled with clothes. She giggled looking at the array of cashmere sweaters and lingerie he had selected for her. There also two leather skirts and even a long evening gown which had "caught his eye", as he had said in his enclosed note. Tristan liked to imagine Kevin selecting these things and loved everything that he had sent. He had impeccable taste and he liked the good stuff. He didn't mind spending the money to get it.

Still, there was something about him buying clothes for her that was a little unsettling. She couldn't really put her finger on it. They had been intimate with each other in every way but something about these gifts spoke of an assumption on his part that she had not let herself make. He was dressing her. That implied a certain comfort level on his part about their relationship. It almost hinted at some understated commitment - something which they had never discussed.

Most of the boxes had been dated a couple of days after her departure, but one had been marked on the day before she left. Tristan thought back to that day and tried to reply it, wondering when he could have been off alone shopping for her. They had been together all day, every day. Then she remembered that they had gone to the children's hospital that day and had then gone shopping with AJ and Howie. They had been separated for a short time when AJ had dragged her into a vintage clothing store. That was definitely not Kevin's style and he had met them shortly after.

Tristan opened the package, curious as to what he had found and never mentioned. Whatever it was had been packed very well. It took her a few minutes to get through the multiple layers of tissue and foam to the treasure underneath. What she found touched her in such a profound way that she could hardly remove it from the box. Beneath all the protection was a doll - an antique porcelain doll with human hair and glass eyes. It's lips were red and you could see tiny teeth between them. The doll was dressed in white lawn with pink silk ribbons, every detail well thought out and complete. Tristan thought it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She was unexpectedly overcome and she really didn't know why. What had made him think of this? She was a grown woman - why would he send her a doll? Her eyes threatened to spill over and she let her mind drift back to her childhood, trying to remember the toys and dolls of her youth. There weren't any. Then it occurred to her that the doll probably wasn't intended for her at all but maybe as a gift for Megan, whom Kevin tended to dote on. Tristan fished around in the box for a note and finally found one in the bottom of the package under more tissue.

My Darling Tristan,

I saw her in a little shop today and thought she should be yours. The shop owner says that she is called Sophia. I know this seems a little silly, but I hope you like her anyway.

Loving you always,

Kevin

Tristan sat down at the kitchen table where she had unwrapped the doll and began to cry great, huge tears. She still didn't understand her reaction to this or why the tears had come. She was just glad that she was alone and that Kevin hadn't given Sophia to her in person. What would he have thought seeing a grown woman cry over the gift of a doll?

*************

"Mike, isn't it?"

The tall brunette approached Mike at the bar. He was bored and had decided to check out the Orlando night life, such as it was, at a new club called "The Shotgun". The brunette was vaguely familiar to Mike but he couldn't quite place her.

"Yes. that's right. I'm sorry. You are......?"

"Lily. Lily Shafer. We met briefly last year in Stockholm." Lily took a seat at the bar and waved towards the bartender. "Gimlet, please."

"Of course! I remember."

How could he forget? Lily was a first class bitch and user who had tried to use Kevin plenty. He didn't recall Kevin ever saying that much about her, but he knew that when Tristan had entered the picture, it hadn't been long before Lily was out of his life.

Lily crossed her legs and took a sip of her drink. She was curious about Kevin. Their last encounter hadn't been too promising, but things may have changed by now. Lily was aware of the internet innuendoes and had seen the article about Tristan and Asa Whitmore. She had liked being on Kevin's arm and wanted that position back, but she needed information first. Maybe this Mike person could give her that. She put on her most dazzling smile.

"Oh, I remember you too!" She turned towards Mike and recrossed her legs. "Are you still managing the great Backstreet Boys?", she asked, hoping the answer was "yes".

"Oh yeah. They'll be back home in a couple of days. Didn't you used to go out some with...with...which one was it?" Mike knew perfectly well which one it was.

"Kevin....Yes, we were quite .....um, close...at one time. How is he doing? Well, I hope?" She stuck her finger into her drink and then licked it.

Mike suspected a game of "cat and mouse" had begun. He was more than willing to play.

"He's doing great! The album is a record breaker and so is the tour. The group is doing very, very well." He knew that she wasn't really interested in Kevin's professional success. He was sure that she had all of that information, but he was going to make her ask for what she wanted.

"That's wonderful." Lily responded. I know all that dumb ass. You'd have to be dead not to know how well the group was doing. "I hope he's doing as well personally. Is he still dating that little piano player?" Lily was being very nonchalant.

"Tristan? Yes, I'm afraid so." Mike finished his drink and waited to see how his response would affect her. Would she pursue his phrasing or let it go?

Lily pursued. "I just can't understand what he sees in her. She's such a little mouse!"

Mike enthusiastically agreed with her. He may have struck some gold here. Maybe he could get a bit of help from Lily in his quest. They could scratch each others backs a little.

"Yeah. I always pictured Kevin with a more glamorous type. You know, a dancer or singer or something. Certainly not a classical pianist."

"I'm a dancer, you know.", Lily said, quite proud of herself.

No shit, Lily. Mike looked Lily over and made sure she saw him do it. "You're definitely more what I had in mind. Kevin's just not thinking, he's wasting his time. Especially with her spending so much time with old friends. They're just not part of his world and he's not part of theirs."

"Are you talking about that conductor? Yes, he seems more Tristan's type." Lily was closely watching Mike. She felt like a secret agent, making sure she used the right phrases to keep the conversation going. She knew what her motivations were, she just wasn't sure about Mike's.

"Tristan seems a little naive for Kevin, don't you think?", Mike asked.

Lily's eyes lit up and she smiled. "Yes. As a matter of fact, I've told Tristan that very thing. Kevin wants and needs a woman with experience."

"Like you?", Mike asked, grinning.

"Like me."

Mike and Lily raised their glasses and clinked the rims together. Then Lily continued.

"You know, Mike, I realize it's not hard to figure out why I think he'd be better off without Tristan, but why are you so concerned?"

"Before I answer you, let me ask you a question. Are you in love with Kevin?"

Lily was taken aback by the question. She had never really considered it. She decided to come clean with Mike. She recognized that he was her own type. He would see through any sugar coated bullshit.

"I guess you could say I'm in lust with him, Mike. I like being seen with him. I like the excitement of his celebrity - it's beneficial to me to be seen with him. It certainly helps that he's loaded, good looking, and good in bed. I'm not looking for white picket fences and a house full of brats."

Mike chuckled at Lily's unexpected honesty.

"What do you want, Mike?" Lily eyes him curiously.

"I want the Backstreet Boys to have long and profitable careers together. I want every woman in America to feel like she has a chance with these guys. As soon as the Beatles started getting married off, the screaming, money spending type of fans disappeared. I'm not ready for that to happen to the Backstreet Boys."

"Do you think he's that serious about her?"

"I think it's a distinct possibility. I've got a couple of irons in the fire that might help us get what we both want, Lily. Interested?"

Lily laughed and nodded her head. "Oh, yeah!"

*************

The phone rang at about 6AM the next morning, startling Tristan out of her sleep.

"Hey, baby.", a low voice greeted her.

Tristan was instantly alert. "Kevin? God, I'm so glad you called. Are you alright? How's the tour going? Where are you? I saw on MTV that you were sick! Are you okay now? What happened? I was...."

"Whoa, whoa, Tris!" Kevin laughed at her babbling.

"Okay, Okay, Kevin. Are you alright?" She slowed herself down to normal speed.

"I'm fine - just the flu. We've all had it, but everybody's okay now. I tried to e-mail you last night, but my messages were returned. What's the problem?"

Tristan didn't want to get into this with Kevin, but felt that she had no choice.

"The in-box stays full lately. I try to clean it out several times a day, but I guess it's not enough."

"Why is it so full? Not that many people have the address - just family, management and the label. Right?"

Tristan sighed, not sure how to explain this. "The addy got out somehow, Kevin. Every time I turn on the computer, it's filled to the top with messages from fans and people I don't know."

"Fans?! How did they get the address? That's private information!" He was irritated. She thought she may as well finish the story.

"They have the phone number to the house, too, Kevin. The phone hasn't stopped ringing. Call waiting is going off as we speak."

"WHAT? This is ridiculous! How did this stuff get out?" Irritation had turned into full blown anger.

"The number and addy are on the web, Kevin. "Gettin' Hot With Kevin Scott" is back up."

"I don't God damn believe it! Give me that address right now! I'm gonna check this bitch out!"

Tristan gave him the URL and waited. There was silence for several seconds and then

"Fucking son of a bitch! Did you call Mike?"

"Mike's the one who told me about it, Kevin."

"What are these people saying?"

Tristan sounded calm and unbothered, but she felt anything but that. The messages had started yesterday and they had already unnerved her. She'd had a nightmare last night.

"Tristan?" Kevin's voice rose, grabbing her attention

"Yes?...oh..just the usual stuff, Kevin. Nothing to worry about. I'll change the number and addy today. I'll let you know what the are, okay?" She sounded downright cheerful.

"What's the "usual" stuff, Tris? Are you getting any threats?"

"No, no," she lied. " You know, the "leave him alone" stuff."

"Shit! I'm sorry baby. I'm gonna make a couple of calls and get some security over there right away." He sounded frustrated. "We're off tomorrow. I can come home and check things out. The guys can do the sound checks and...."

"Absolutely not!. I'm fine. I'm going to change the numbers today and it'll stop. No security! Simple!"

"It's not simple. It's a fucked up mess!"

"It's okay, really! Now, did you just call to tell me how much you adore me?", she laughed, trying to change the subject.

Kevin paused trying to remember what he had wanted to tell her.

"Oh yes! I sent some packages form Italy. I forgot to tell you. They'll probably be there anytime. There'll be a couple for you, too. You can go ahead and open them if you want."

"They're here and I did.", Tristan said quietly, looking at the porcelaine doll that she had set on a chair in the bedroom. She couldn't speak for a moment.

"Tristan? You didn't like what I sent?"

"Oh Kevin!", she choked. "I loved everything! The clothes are beautiful and they couldn't fit any better. I don't know how you manage to do that!"

"Oh, it's not hard. I pick up some sweet young thing on the street and feel her up to make sure she's your size and then get her to undress and try on clothes for me," he said seriously.

"You'd better not be feeling up anybody but me, Richardson!", she laughed.

"Let's change the subject, Tris. Little Kev is starting to wake up."

"Are you sure, sweetie? Put Little Kev on the phone and let me ask him if he wants me to change the subject."

"Tris, please. I'm stuck here on a bus with eight other people."

"Sorry."

"I'm glad you liked everything, baby .", he drawled, genuinely happy with her approval.

"Kevin, ...well,...as much as I want you here, I'm glad you weren't here when I opened the boxes." Tristan glanced a Sophia again.

"Why Tris? What's wrong?"

"Nothing - I just....I....oh, Kevin. The doll - Sophia. She's so beautiful! I've never gotten such a wonderful surprise.", she whispered. Her throat felt dry.

Kevin was both pleased and sorry that the doll had hit such a soft spot with her. He could tell that she was struggling with her words.

"I'm just glad you like her, Tris. Where are you going to put her?"

"I thought I'd put her near your piano, if that's okay."

The words she chose suddenly struck Kevin as odd. Tristan was asking his permission to put the doll by his piano. It occurred to him that she often used a possessive adjective to describe things in their life - Kevin's bedroom, his bed, Kevin's house, his piano......never theirs.

"Tristan, I want you to put that doll anywhere you want to. You don't have to ask me."

She was silent for several moments.

"Okay, Kevin. Thank you."

Thank you? Her response disturbed him on some gut level. He would have to talk to her when he got home.

"Go back to sleep, baby. Let me know when you change the numbers and e-mail, okay?"

CHAPTER 39

AJ knocked sharply on Nick's hotel room door. He and Kevin were getting a major case of cabin fever and wanted to go out and get some air. Employee problems were driving them all crazy and they were tired. The European tour was about to wind down and although they had enjoyed it, they were all ready to go home.

"Come on, Nick. Open up!", Kevin yelled through the door.

"Hold on! I'm on the phone!", Nick screeched back.

"Shit, that boy's always on the phone these days." AJ growled. "Who the hell is talking to so much?"

Kevin shrugged. He really hadn't paid too much attention. AJ was about to bang on the door again when it flew open.

"Jeez, why don't you just break the door down?" Nick snarled. He was still in his briefs.

AJ and Kevin looked at each other and raised their brows. AJ started in again.

"It's two o'clock in the afternoon and you're still running around in your nut huggers?" Then AJ's eyes widened. "You got somebody in there, Nick?" The prospect seemed to delight him. Kevin just rolled his eyes.

"N..no!", Nick stammered. Then he got peeved. "Why AJ? Is it such a ridiculous idea ? That I would be with a woman?"

"Damn, Nick...chill..I didn't...."

"Hold up!", Kevin interrupted. "Come on, Nick. You've been spending way too much time holed up in hotel rooms. Let's go look around outside."

"Okay. Let me get some clothes on."

"Good idea!", AJ chucked.

Kevin and AJ followed Nick into his room to wait. It was a wreck, as usual. The room smelled funny, too. AJ couldn't quite put his finger on it at first and then it hit him as Nick was tying his shoes.

"Damn, man! It smells like a bakery or something in here! You been bringing in truck loads of donuts, or what?" AJ asked sniffing the air.

"I don't know what you're talking about, AJ! I'm ready. Let's go!" Nick got up and stalked off towards the door, passing AJ on the way.

"Shit, Nick! It's you! What the hell have you been washing with? Cookie dough or something?"

"Shut up, AJ!" Nick threw AJ a warning look.

"Come on, ladies.", Kevin mumbled, waving towards the door.

Kevin glanced around the room before they left, always amazed at the disarray. His eyes stopped when they reached a bottle next to the phone by the bed. The only word he could read on the bottle from that distance was "massage" with a picture of some kind of pod. The bottle was almost empty. Kevin took a breath before turning to the door. AJ was right. The room smelled almost sweet. He looked back towards the bottle and the realization of what he smelled hit him. Vanilla.

Nick came back up behind Kevin and poked him in the ribs. "You issued the order Commander Kevin. Let's go!"

The scent was all over Nick. Nick followed Kevin's eyes to the bottle as Kevin turned to look at him. Nick's face was turning pink. The realty of what was happening suddenly hit Kevin: Massage oil, phone calls, propped up pillows, Nick's embarrassment and defensiveness. Kevin didn't laugh and tried very hard not to smile by pressing his lips together in a tight line. However, the dimples in his cheeks appeared and gave his realization away.

Nick was totally humiliated and began to stutter and stumble around. Kevin didn't say anything. He just took a step towards the door.

"Okay, I'm ready." Kevin said without emotion. His dimples had faded and he was straight faced. He walked out into the hallway with Nick following behind, closing the door.

Thankfully, AJ had waited outside. "Damn, Nick!", AJ went on, "Please, man, stay downwind from me! You smell like...."

"Shut up J.", Kevin said seriously. "You could stand to smell a little sweeter yourself."

"Well, fuck you very much, Train!" AJ stomped off down the hall ahead of them, sniffing at his armpits as he went.

Nick looked over at Kevin as they walked towards the elevators. Kevin's long steps and general demeanor reminded Nick of how he had looked walking through the airport in the "I Want It That Way" video. He looked straight ahead, not commenting on the awkward moment minutes earlier. That surprised Nick a little. Kevin usually tried to stay out of other people's business, but when he found himself in the middle of it, he usually made a verbal judgement or two. Today he said nothing. Finally Nick felt compelled to speak.

"Thanks for getting AJ off my back, Kev. He's like a pit bull sometimes - doesn't know when to let go." Nick chuckled uncomfortably.

"No problem."

Nick pushed it a bit, trying to see if Kevin was ever going to make a crack. Better now, in the hallway, than at a larger gathering.

"Do I smell that bad?", he laughed, looking at Kevin, who continued to look ahead.

Kevin stopped and turned to Nick and put his hand on his shoulder. He spoke seriously.

"Nick, you smell like a God damn bowl of vanilla puddin'. But my guess is that you have a real good reason to be smellin' that way and it's nobody's fuckin' business."

Kevin's accent seemed stronger than usual as the seriousness of his tone combined with the ridiculousness of the situation. Kevin removed his hand and continued his long stride down the hall.

On some level, Nick almost felt like he had just received absolution. Damn straight!, he thought as he lengthened his stride to keep in step with Kevin. He should have known - Kevin never teased about sex.

**************

The end of the tour was just around the corner and Kevin couldn't have been happier. They had been plagued by employee problems for the last few days and meetings had been held daily to deal with them. Two band members had turned in their resignations and would have to be replaced before the North American leg of their tour began. Two female dancers were also leaving, one because of marital problems and the other was being fired due to inappropriate and rude behavior in public and with fans. Privately, she had been a pain in the ass anyway. The guys were not sorry to see her go.

On top of this, Kevin worried about what was happening at home. He checked out "Mrs. Richardson's" site every day and was appalled at what he saw there. He had notified management that he wanted security for Tristan and Mike had seen to it personally. Still, the website had new information almost daily which included new candids showing Tristan at work and at home. For the most part, the photographs were harmless, but there had been one that looked like it had been taken through their bedroom window. Tristan wasn't in the picture but it was still invasive and intimate. The shots of Tristan concerned him for another reason. She looked exhausted, like she wasn't sleeping, yet she always insisted that she was fine and sounded cheerful on the phone. She had refused to visit that site anymore and was unaware of many of these pictures.

There were some of Tristan and Asa, too - recent ones. Asa had appeared at a concert to benefit the Orlando Youth Symphony in which Tristan was active. She taught many young people, not only piano, but music theory as well and she conducted the young people during their two number performance. A couple of photos from the benefit appeared not only on the web but in newspapers as well. One showed Asa and Tristan, both holding conductors batons and fighting with them, like they were swords. Very cute, Kevin had thought caustically. Another pictured them during what looked like a rehearsal. Asa was standing at the podium with Tristan, dressed in an expensive and well tailored suit. He was applauding her while she curtsied, dressed in low slung jeans and a cropped tee-shirt. Her hair had been plaited into a long braid that ran down her back and she wore a UVA baseball cap turned around backwards. She looked like she was about seventeen years old. Kevin couldn't shake the feeling that Asa was sniffing around Tristan, but he behaved himself and didn't make a big deal of it.

Tristan made sure her time would be freed up when Kevin got home. The group was supposed to fly back to the states next Monday after meeting most of Sunday to resolve some of the employee problems and other matters. When the guys protested, it was agreed that they could come back a day early if they met the morning after their return. Kevin didn't want to tell Tristan that he would be arriving a day earlier than expected. He was going to surprise her. He found out that Holly would be there, too. She had planned to stay with Tristan for a few days before leaving Orlando to meet Nick in Tampa that Monday.

Kevin wasn't pleased to discover that he and Tristan wouldn't be alone when he returned and Nick wouldn't be pleased to find Holly in Orlando when he was in Tampa waiting to see her. Kevin wanted his return to be a surprise and so he could find only one logical solution, not that he was happy about it. He approached Nick during a sound check that Wednesday.

"Nick, you know that Holly's spending a few days with Tris in Orlando."

"Yeah, I was going to call her and tell her that we were coming back a day early.", Nick said, playing with his earpiece.

Kevin shook his head. "No. Why don't you surprise Holly. Come to Orlando and stay with us. You have to be there early Monday morning anyway."

Nick looked at Kevin and raised his brows. They disappeared under the hair that had fallen to his face.

"You really want Hol and me around when you see Tris for the first time in a month?"

"No, I really don't.", Kevin answered honestly. "But I want the element of surprise and don't want you fucking it up by calling Holly and her leaving Orlando unexpectedly. Tris would be suspicious." Kevin hesitated before asking his next question. "Was Holly planning to ...uh...stay with you in Tampa?"

Nick looked away out into the empty arena, avoiding Kevin's gaze.

"I had hoped so. We really don't...uh...know each other like you and Tris do, if you know what I mean." Nick's eyes drifted up to the empty balcony seats.

"I figured." Kevin looked at the floor. "Well, it's really up to you. It's a big house. Privacy shouldn't really be a problem unless we make it one. And we won't do that, will we Nick?"

"No, Kev. Of course not." Nick considered his options. "Okay, I'll come to Orlando and if it gets weird, we'll just go on to Tampa. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah. It'll only be for one day."

"Only one day.....You and Tris can wait to swing from the light fixtures for one day, right?" Nick laughed trying to lighten the tone of the conversation.

Kevin was not amused. "Look, Nick. Sorry I don't feel very humorous right now. I've had a damn hard-on for three and a half weeks and it's getting real old!"

"I've noticed, Kev. You want some duct tape so you can anchor that thing down?" Nick was on a roll.

"I think you'd better keep it for yourself, Salami Man."

"Salami Man? Gee, thanks, Kev....."

"Shut up, Nick. Look - three things - okay? One - if you and Holly are gonna hook up, take it to the room farthest away from ours. Two - stay out of my hair. I'm not gonna play host. I'll have other things on my mind when I see Tristan, and three - go easy on the vanilla crap!"

Nick was embarrassed by the reference but entertained by Kevin's obvious need to be with Tristan. Yeah, Kevin had it real bad.

"Yes sir, Commander Kevin!" Nick laughed and saluted the serious Kentuckian.

Kevin just rolled his eyes and left the stage.

Tristan Trilogy - Story I

"Will You Play for Me?" is a work of fiction.
The characters and events portrayed are fictitious.
Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.

Copyright ©1999
All Rights Reserved
No part of this text may be copied or reprinted
without the author's permission.

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Fiction by Grace