CHAPTER 59

Nick and Holly were tense for a number of reasons. First in their list if concerns was, of course, Tristan and Kevin. They had one dear friend in a psychiatric hospital and another who should probably be in one. They had tried to see Kevin when they arrived in Lexington. Brian had taken them over to his aunt’s house and they had walked to Kevin’s. He hadn’t answered their knocks but they knew that he was inside. They had seen him at a window when they had approached the house but he had vanished when he saw them. Tristan still wasn’t returning calls and no one had spoken to her. They had no idea how she was doing, they only knew that she was still a patient at Stonewall House.

Kevin’s mother was a bundle of anxiety. She had obligations to her other children and had to complete some preparations for Christmas but her baby’s withdrawal had definitely taken it’s toll. She took food to him every day, but little of what she brought was touched. He had refused to come stay with her even though it was December and no heat had been installed in his house. He was relying on the fireplace and Jack Daniel’s to keep him warm. She had noticed on the morning after one particularly cold night, that Kevin had taken Tristan’s camisole, folded it like a little blanket and used it to cover the doll Brian had sent. She feared that she and his brothers may have to send him to a hospital for help if something didn’t happen soon.

All of this worked on Nick in a particularly hard way and he took much of Kevin’s withdrawal personally. He could deal with Kevin disliking or even hating him much better than he could stand his indifference. Kevin had loved him once. He was sure of that. In addition to the emotional upheaval surrounding their two friends, Nick and Holly were not all that comfortable staying with Brian and knew that they would continue to be restless in California. They wouldn’t be able to stay together like they did in Tampa. Holly remembered Tristan talking about their trip to Kentucky last summer and how upset she had gotten about the various possibilities of their sleeping arrangements at Kevin’s mother’s house.. She had laughed at Tristan at the time but it didn’t seem so funny now. Under normal circumstances it would have been bearable, but this mess with Tristan and Kevin had affected them so personally. They had become a little insecure about their own relationship. If something awful like this could happen to Kevin and Tris, then certainly it could happen to anyone, including them. Nick went from one extreme to the other, being either aloof or detached with Holly or being clingy and possessive.

Jackie Littrell was very kind and understanding but adamant about the subject of cohabitation in her house. Nick stayed with Brian and Holly stayed with Leighanne. The situation didn’t help Nick’s insecurities. If Kevin and Tristan had been together, Nick and Holly would have stayed with them. The only thing they would have had to worry about was avoiding the ‘Kevin Zone’. Holly found herself wishing they had just stayed in Tampa in their own bed where they could have spent the holidays cuddled together, listening to Christmas carols, eating pizza and making love.

The clan was gathering at Anne’s house that night for the traditional get together. They would all be there tomorrow, too, for a Christmas Eve dinner. It was going to be a real strain on everyone. Nick wondered if Kevin would even show himself while Brian remembered last Christmas when he, Kevin and Leighanne had headed east in search of the elusive Tristan. She was still elusive one year later.

Brian’s parents and brother left to go to Anne’s right after dinner. It was only six thirty but Jackie had worried that Anne might need some help. The two couples would follow shortly. They were all dreading this night and the big dinner tomorrow.

“Come on! Let’s go!” Brian called up the stairs.

The temperature had dropped quickly and there was snow in the forecast. Holly and Leighanne were looking for extra sweaters in the upstairs hall closet. When they didn’t appear after several minutes, Brian went up to get them. Nick sat idly at the counter in the kitchen, waiting with his hand under his chin. Merry fucking Christmas. The phone rang and he jumped.

“Want me to get it Bri?” Nick yelled up the stairs.

“Yeah! Get it - we’re coming!” Brian shouted back.

Nick reached for the notepad and pencil on the counter as he picked up the phone. Probably Brian’s parents wondering where we are.

“Hello. Littrell residence,” he answered.

No one spoke.

“Helloooo?” he said into the silence.

He thought that someone had probably gotten a wrong number and was about to hang up when he heard a whisper on the line.

“Nick?...Nick, is that you?”

Sweet Jesus, it couldn’t be! I must be crackin’ up, too!

“Nick! Are you there?”

Nick could barely hold onto the phone.

“Tristan? Is that you? Is it really you, sweetie?”

“Nick, I’m so cold........”

“Where are you baby? Tell me!” Nick was pacing and running his hand through his hair. “Tristan? Stay on the line. Talk to me! Where are you?”

“I don’t have a coat, Nick. It’s so cold here.....”

Nick could hear the tremor in her voice, like her body was shaking. She sounded childlike and afraid.

“Please, hon. I’ll come get you. Tell me where you are!” He put his hand over the mouthpiece and screamed for Brian.

“I’m at the airport, Nick. I don’t know what to do now. I only have my credit card....what should I do?”

Brian, Leighanne and Holly came running sown the stairs at the frantic tone of Nick’s cry. They stood by anxiously trying to figure out what was going on.

“What airport, Tris? Tell me now - what airport?”

At the mention of Tristan’s name, they froze. Holly’s hands went to her mouth.

“I’m here, Nick. In Lexington.....It’s cold here...”

Nick’s voice started to break. “You stay right there, Tris. Go to the entry doors and stand inside, sweetheart. I’ll bring you a coat, don’t worry. Just don’t go anywhere. We’re coming to get you now. Don’t move, okay?”

“Okay, Nick.” Click.

Nick didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He hung the phone up slowly and then turned to the three people staring at him, watching him expectantly.

“She’s in Lexington....at the airport!”

“What?” Brain shouted. “Jesus! Let’s go!”

“She needs a coat. She’s cold.” Nick said as he zipped up his jacket.

**********

Tristan stood alone near the entry doors waiting for Nick. The bright lights overhead made her eyes hurt and she felt conspicuous wearing just a tiny sweater and thin pants. She was cold and felt vulnerable and alone, not at all sure what she was going to do now that she was here. She wondered if maybe she should have left well enough alone but she just didn’t think things were ‘well enough’. She was still deeply in love with Kevin. She knew that and had finally admitted it to herself, but the last time she remembered seeing him, he had just been with another woman - a woman he knew, a woman from his past. She was going to have to see him. If it was over between them, she would leave. Simple. She had already begun to harden herself for that possibility. She didn’t want his guilt. She wanted his love.

Brian pulled up in front of the airport.

“Good Lord! Brian whispered. “Is that her?”

They all stared through the entry doors to the airport looking at her. She looked like a lost child about to cry and awaiting rescue. Her clothes were hanging on her and she had wrapped he arms around herself. She was shivering.

“Give me that coat, Leighanne.”, Nick said from the backseat.

Leighanne passed the coat back and Nick grabbed it as he jumped out of the truck. They all watched as he ran through the doors. Tristan hadn’t seen him approach and she jumped when he grabbed her. They saw Nick hug her and put the coat on her like he was dressing a rag doll. She looked confused and they wondered if she had rum away from the hospital. She had no baggage with her - no luggage, not even a purse. She carried a credit card and drivers license in her pocket and that was all. Nick zipped up the coat and put his arm around her shoulder, guiding her, pushing her back through the doors and into the waiting truck. She climbed into the back, sitting between Nick and Holly. They each grabbed one of her hands as Brian and Leighanne turned around to look at her. She was still shivering.

“You okay, Tris?” Brian asked gently.

Tristan nodded in response, but her bottom lip was trembling and she looked scared.

“Tristan,” Brian continued, “where do you want us to take you?”

She looked at her lap and then out of the window. Finally her eyes focused on Brian.

“Do you think Kevin really needs me, Brian?”

Brian sighed deeply. “God yes, baby. I do.”

“Then take me to Kevin.”

*********

They pulled up in front of Anne’s house twenty minutes later. The trip from the airport had been quiet. Everyone had seemed to be in their own little world. All were silently praying for the same results - and end to this nightmare, one way or the other.

There were several cars parked at the house and Tristan was afraid.

“Who’s here, Brian? What’s going on?”

“Family get together, Tris.”, Brian explained. It’ll be alright...come on.”

“Is Kevin here? I need to see him alone.....”

“I don’t know if he’s in here. Let’s go see, okay?”

Nick opened the door and climbed out, trying to give Tris his hand. She hesitated and then took it and slid herself off the seat. It had started to snow and she felt cold again. Holly climbed out behind her and the five of them made their way to the front door. Brian and Leighanne were in the front, with Nick and Holly behind. Tristan was cowering in the rear of the group. Brian turned to Tristan one more time, smiled reassuringly and rang the bell. Tristan looked at the ground. Anne’s reaction to her could be unpleasant if Kevin was really in bad shape. Anne probably wished that Kevin and Tristan had never met. Surprisingly, it was Jackie who answered the door.

“Brian! Where in the world have you been? I’ve been worried to death! Calling the house every ten minutes! Why didn’t you........”

“Mom!”, Brian interrupted as they piled into the foyer. “Go get Aunt Anne - please.”

“She’s busy in the kitchen right now, Brian. For Pete’s sake! What are....”

“Mom!, Brian said loudly. “Please!”

Jackie gazed at her son for a moment, realizing that something was amiss. She backed away and turned to go get her sister in law. A moment later, Anne came from around the corner, wiping her hands on a dish towel. She looked at Brian smiling, but her smile stopped when she saw the strange and unreadable expression on his face.

“What’s wrong Brian?”, she asked tentatively.

The two couples parted and there stood Tristan looking at the floor, afraid of what she would see in Anne’s face. Anne looked at the waif like figure for a moment and then comprehension set in and her eyes filled.

“Tristan?” She stepped towards her holding out her arm. “Is that you, honey?”

Tristan nodded and raised her eyes to meet Anne’s gaze.

“Oh my God.” Anne murmured shocked to see that Tristan was really there.

Tristan lowered her eyes again and then felt Anne throw her arms around her and start to rock her back and forth.

“My God, my God.....”, Anne said over and over. Then she paused and lifted Tristan’s face to hers. “Come on in the living room, sweetheart. You need to sit down. You look tired.”

Tristan nodded and Anne led her into the room. The party chatter stopped when Tristan entered. Anne led her to a chair beside the fireplace.

“I’m going to get you a sweater.” Anne said and disappeared.

The silence in the room continued as Tristan stared into the flames of the fireplace. Anne soon returned with a heavy sweater and began pulling it over Tristan’s head. As her eyes popped through the neckline, she saw Anne shoot everyone an ‘act normal’ look. Tristan had to smile. Jackie called everyone into the dining room for refreshments and the low static of conversation began again. Anne sat herself down on a stool opposite Tristan and took her hands.

“Tris, honey, I’ve prayed and prayed for this night to come. I don’t want to pry, but I have to ask you - did you come here tonight because you still love my son or did you come here to end it?”

Tristan didn’t answer right away.

“Where is Kevin?”

“He’s at your house, Tris. He doesn’t want to be around his family or friends,” Anne said this matter of factly, but Tristan could easily see that Anne’s heart was breaking.

“I’m going over there.” Tristan stood up and began putting the coat back on. “I don’t know what will happen, Anne. What can I expect to find when I get there?”

Anne closed her eyes for a moment, trying to compose her thoughts. Then she opened them and regarded Tristan soberly. “You can expect to find a heart broken and shattered soul who used to be a friend, a brother, a son and the love of your life.”

Anne began to weep and Tristan put her arms around her and whispered, “He still is the love of my life, Anne.”

When Nick saw Tristan putting her coat on, he went to find Brian. They approached as Tristan was whispering to Anne.

“Where are you going, Tris?” Nick asked, hoping she wasn’t planning to run away.

“I’m going to the house now.” She pulled on some gloves she had found in the coat pockets and looked out of the window towards the woods.

“You shouldn’t go alone. We’ll go with you.” Brian offered.

“No. Nobody can go with me. I have to go alone. I want to tell you all this - no one is to come over there. Leave us completely alone, no matter how long this takes. Continue on here as you normally would. I don’t know when you’ll see one or both of us, but stay away - please!.” Tristan was firm with her instructions. “If anything goes wrong, you’ll know soon enough.”

They all knew not to argue. Although many people had been affected by the rip in their relationship, this was essentially between Kevin and Tristan - alone.

She opened the door and set out across the meadow and towards the woods fearful of what she’d find when she got to the house. A dozen pairs of eyes watched her through the window until she was out of sight.

CHAPTER 60

It was hard for Tristan to focus her thoughts as she walked across the sprinkling of snow towards the woods. The last fifteen months of her life rolled through her brain like a silent movie. It was almost as if her life didn’t start until October of 1998 when Mutt called her and she found herself on a plane flying to Sweden. She hoped the movie wouldn’t end tonight.

Soon she reached the edge of the woods. It was eerily quiet out here at night. The snapping of twigs as she stepped on them sounded like gunshots. It was darker, too - the light of the full moon didn’t penetrate through the boughs of the evergreens but she could see a dim light up ahead and smelled the aroma of logs burning in a fireplace. As she walked to the front of the house she stopped, unzipped her coat and took a deep breath. Tristan climbed the steps and looked out at the lake. It was beautiful in the moonlight - so peaceful and calm. Just a few feet away lay the unknown. She didn’t know whether to try the door and walk in or knock and wait for Kevin to answer.

Tristan never had to make that decision because the door suddenly began to open from inside the house, startling her and sending her moving back into the shadows on the porch. Kevin stepped through the door and onto the porch turning to a small pile of split wood leaning against the railing. Tristan watched him, not daring to breathe, as he bent to collect some wood for the fireplace. His feet were bare and he wore a flannel shirt, which hung loose outside of his jeans. Tristan didn’t move. She hadn’t prepared herself to face him yet and she struggled to keep her composure until he went back inside. Kevin’s back was to her as he stood again, his arms filled with split timber. Then he became still, his back still to her, not a muscle moving in his body. He stood that way for many seconds and then he let the wood drop onto the porch causing a loud clatter. To Tristan’s amazement, Kevin slowly turned towards her as if he were looking for some phantom hiding in the shadows. He couldn’t see her in the blackness where she stood, but she saw his mouth move and form her name on his lips. He made no sound. He just stood, his eyes fixed on the spot where she waited in the darkness. He knew she had come.

When she stepped out of the shadows into the moonlight, his face crumbled and he covered it with his hands, falling to his knees as if someone had hit him across his back with a heavy object. Tristan stepped over to him and stood watching as he tried to catch his breath, hands still covering his face. She instinctively began to run her fingers through his hair and he lifted her sweater, pulled her close to him and buried his face in her belly. His tears felt hot against her cold skin as she held his face against her.

“Kevin.....” Tristan whispered his name softly, still stroking his hair.

Kevin began to murmur against her skin.

“”I’m so sorry, baby...so sorry...please, Tris....I’m sorry.........”

Tristan continued to hold his head against her and was about to speak when she felt a fresh wash of tears and Kevin let out a soft sob.

“I’m sorry little girl....little baby girl......”

Tristan’s heart split in two. She had managed to build a thin wall between herself and her pregnancy. She had let her anger protect her from her sense of grief and loss, but Kevin had not been afforded that luxury. His guilt had pushed him to the depths of despair. Tristan lowered herself to her knees and felt his face slide up her body until she could look directly into his eyes. Even in the moonlight, she could see the color of emeralds.

“Kevin,” she whispered, “you have to understand that it wasn’t your fault that I lost the baby. Something was wrong.....”

Kevin closed his eyes. “I was wrong, Tristan. I hurt you and made you lose ....”

“No, Kevin!” Tristan interrupted him. “Open your eyes and look at me,” she said quietly.

Kevin opened his eyes and looked directly at Tristan for the first time in almost two months. She looked thin, her hair barely touched her shoulders now and he could see the glint of violet in her eyes.

“Something was wrong, Kevin. You didn’t make it wrong. It just wasn’t meant to be.......Next time, maybe......”

Kevin took a breath. “Next time, Tristan?”

Tristan let go of his face, stood and stepped back into the shadows.

“Am I assuming again, Kevin? Do want a ‘next time’?......With me?”

Kevin looked toward her, trying to place her in the darkness.

“Tristan?” he called, his voice edged with panic.

“I’m here, Kevin....Tell me what you want.”

Kevin slowly stood and stared into the darkness that had once again engulfed her.

“I want everything that I told you I wanted a year ago, Tris, when I came to find you in Virginia. Except that now I want even more. I want you to let me love you...” Kevin pleaded into the shadows. “Let me back in, Tris.”

Tristan reached back in time and remembered Kevin’s unexpected visit to her house at ‘White Fences’. His passion had moved her then as it did now.

“Do you love me again?” she asked.

Kevin could hear her voice crack as she asked the question. She sounded like a small child. His eyes fell to the floorboards of the wooden porch.

“Jesus, baby...I never stopped loving you. Despite what happened, what you must think. It’s always been you. It always will be....I’d give my life for you to believe that.”

Tristan thought about what Nick had told her - that Kevin had called Lily by her name. Suddenly, Kevin felt Tristan up against him, her arms around his neck. He held on to her tightly as if he were trying to press her into his body. They were both exhausted, cold and crying but a large burden had been lifted. They walked into their house and closed the door.

Tristan walked through the living room and saw that the TV was on. The tape Kevin had made of her played across the screen as it had for the past several days. He ran to turn off the VCR before she saw the film of herself in her room that first night at Stonewall House but Tristan held him back. She watched herself cut her hair and her wrist. She heard Kevin standing behind her. His breathing had become ragged.

“I don’t remember that night, Kevin,” she said softly, eyes frozen on the screen. She ran her hand through her shortened hair. Kevin lifted her arm and looked at the raised scar that slanted across her wrist. It still looked red and angry and he began to weep again, holding her wrist against his cheek.

“Kevin, don’t.....it was an accident,” Tristan said, willing it to be so. She honestly didn’t know anymore. “Turn off the tape now. Please.”

Tristan surveyed the room when Kevin walked over to the television and spotted the cradle beside the hearth. She knelt down beside it and ran her hands along the wood.

“Did you make this?” she asked. He nodded. “It’s beautiful, Kevin.”

He watched her apprehensively. He didn’t want her to be upset by the cradle, but her eyes had brightened slightly.

“For the next time,” he said simply.

Tristan turned to him and a gentle smile appeared on her lips. The first smile she had given him in so long. It was one of those simple gestures that carried immeasurable value - a gift. She lifted Sophia from the cradle and gazed at her as if she had rediscovered a long lost friend. When she did so, the pink camisole slid to the floor beside her knees. Tristan picked up the pink satin to examine it. She thought she had lost the camisole somewhere a long time ago and started to ask Kevin about it. When she looked at his face, something inside told her to let it be. She knew then why it was here now. He had kept it with him all these months. He had tried to hold on to some small part of her when they were apart. She rubbed the pink satin against her cheek.

“I’m tired Kevin. Let’s go to sleep.”

Tristan disappeared into the bathroom while Kevin turned out the lights and stoked the fire. He crawled into the bed which had gone unslept on since last summer, closed his eyes and waited to see if Tristan was going to join him. It was dark in the room except for the light from the fire. Tristan wouldn’t see her piano, sitting over in the corner, until morning. Kevin heard a door close and footsteps padding across the wooden floor. She hesitated at the edge of the bed and then he felt her climb in beside him. They turned to face each other and his hand reached out for her. He recognized the soft satin that clung to her body. Kevin pulled her close and she smiled at him. Another gift. Then her eyes closed and she slept. His sleep soon followed, but not before his hand brought her fingers up to his cheek.

***********

They both slept late the next day. Tristan woke first and felt disoriented. She gazed up at the wooden beams in the ceiling and tried to move some strands of hair from her eyes but her hand wouldn’t move. She turned her head and saw Kevin sleeping beside her on his stomach. Her eyes followed the curve of his shoulder down to his elbow and back up his arm to his hand where she discovered her source of paralysis. Kevin’s hand grasped her wrist firmly, even in his sleep, holding her hand against the pillow. When she tried to release herself he jerked and his eyes flew open in alarm.

“Where are you going?” he asked anxiously. His hand tightened on her wrist.

“Nowhere, Kevin. I was just turning.” She spoke soothingly and brought her other hand to his face, running her fingers across his furrowed forehead and down the side of his face to his chin.

He was still so tired. Tristan wondered how long it had been since he’d had a decent night’s sleep.

“Go back to sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”

He searched her face and then, satisfied with what he read there, closed his eyes and moved his head against her neck, wrapping his arm around her waist. His legs tangled in hers and he sighed deeply, entering sleep once more. Tristan really wasn’t going anywhere now and so, she began to drift off, too.

When she awoke again, an hour later, Kevin was already out of bed. He had rebuilt the fire and was clearing the kitchen of liquor bottles and other debris. That’s when she saw the piano. She stared at it for a few minutes, got out of bed and slowly walked to it, pulling out the bench and sitting down. Tristan pushed back the wooden panel that covered the keys and ran her fingers lightly over the white rectangles, not pressing, just feeling their smoothness.

“Do you like your surprise?”

Tristan turned quickly on the bench. He was not asking in a playful way. His face was set, his eyes serious and it was then that she realized that she hadn’t seen him smile in over three months.

“It’s beautiful,” she said, studying his face.

“Will you play for me?”, he asked her.

Her thoughts flashed back to the night that he had first made that request of her. Now, as then, his request was not just for a piece of music but for a piece of her being. He wanted intimacy.

“I don’t know....It’s been so long....”

“Let’s not push it then. You’ll play when you’re ready.”

He turned and walked back towards the kitchen, stopping briefly to speak to her over his shoulder.

“I’ll be ready to listen, whenever you’re ready to play.”

Kevin disappeared around the far side of the fireplace. There was still another curtain to be torn down.

************

They walked together through the woods and across the meadow to Anne’s house for dinner. The meal was supposed to be served at six, but it already six thirty when they arrived. Kevin hadn’t let go of Tristan since they left their house. They entered Anne’s home quietly and peeked into the dining room. A long table was filled with food and surrounded by family and friends, including Nick and Holly. The expected dinner time din was all but absent and had been replaced by quiet, subdued conversation. Anne was obviously upset and kept glancing towards the two empty plates that had been placed near the center of the table. The only person who seemed to have any Christmas spirit was Megan who sat next to her father singing ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ loudly and with expression. She was the entertainment for the evening. When she was suddenly silent mid stanza, everyone at the table stopped to look at her only to see her smiling happily towards the dining room entryway.

Tristan and Kevin stood in the doorway looking like the walking wounded. They both glanced nervously about the room. There were many pairs of wet eyes staring at them, including Brian’s, Nick’s and Holly’s not to mention Anne’s. The silence was broken by a loud cackle at the far corner of the table. Kevin and Tristan turned and to their amazement found AJ McLean screaming at them with a mouth full of food. The whole scene was a little surreal.

“’Bout time you two got your sorry asses over here!” he yelled. “Damn, Kev! You’re gonna be late to your own funeral! You two are lucky there’s anything left. Right Mizz R.?” AJ leaned over the table and nodded towards Anne.

Anne jumped up wiping her eyes. “Yes Alex. You are right! You two get over here now and sit down! Jerald, start passing their plates and don’t be stingy!”

Kevin and Tristan did as they were told and took their places at the table. Everyone noticed that Kevin was holding tightly to Tristan’s wrist.

Tristan and Kevin couldn’t take their eyes off of AJ. He was thoroughly enjoying himself in Kentucky on Christmas Eve. His mouth wouldn’t stop flapping.

“AJ!” Kevin yelled across the table, interrupting him.

“What, man?” AJ stopped with a roll halfway to his mouth.

“What are you doing here?”

“Your mother invited me!” AJ frowned, feeling unwelcome.

“He invited himself!” Nick whispered loudly and everyone laughed.

“Now that’s not entirely true,” Anne corrected. “We’re all very glad you’re here, Alex.”

AJ shot everyone an ‘I told you so’ look and popped the roll into his mouth. By this time, Kevin’s and Tristan’s plates had made their way around the table and were returned to them plied high and overflowing with food. They both looked at their plates and then at Anne.

“Eat!” she ordered.

They looked at each other, sighed and picked up their forks as AJ sniggered.

“Actually,” AJ began, “I’m on a mission. Our new manager wants to book us for a publicity tour at the end of January. I said I’d run it by you guys. Howie’s already agreed.”

“Our new manager?” Brian asked. “What happened to Mike?”

“Not sure.” AJ hedged. “I heard that an important client got pissed...”

“Alex!” Anne warned.

“Sorry......got mad at his....well....’over zealous’ management methods and threatened to walk if he didn’t leave. He agreed to go before the shit hit....”

“Alex!”

“..before the stuff hit the fan and he was fired.”

“Gee, that’s too bad,” Nick responded sarcastically. “What’s he gonna do without us?”

AJ laughed. “I think he’s managing a marachi band in Guadeloupe now. Aww, he was an asshole anyway.”

“Asshole, asshole!” Megan mimicked. She loved AJ.

A car horn beeped outside.

“Oooops! There’s my cab!” AJ jumped up from the table and grabbed his coat. “Gotta get back home for Christmas! Amanda’s waitin’ for her present!” AJ wiggled his eyebrows up and down making it quite clear what Amanda’s present was going to be.

“Alex!”

“Oh, right...Thanks Mizz R.!” AJ ran over to kiss Anne on the cheek.

“You’re welcome, dear. Have a Merry Christmas and......” Anne smiled knowingly. “...I hope Amanda enjoys her present.”

AJ laughed and slapped Anne on the back. “Kev - I expect to see you and Tris back in Orlando before long. Merry Christmas!....Oh, and Tris....it’s good to have you back.....” AJ glanced towards Kevin smiling and left quickly before Kevin could speak.

Kevin and Tristan still hadn’t said much but everyone talked around them so that their silence seemed less obvious. After awhile, people began pushing themselves back from the table. When Kevin and Tristan rose, his hand was still clamped to her wrist.

“I want you two to go home now.”

Kevin looked at his mother, surprised by her request.

Anne continued. “You’re tired. We’ll see you tomorrow.” Then she paused. “Unless it’s too cold over there. You can stay here if you want....together.”

Kevin looked at his mother with affection and Tristan thought she could see the beginnings of a smile play at his lips.

“We’re fine, Mom....but thank you.”

Kevin kissed his mother on the cheek and made the rounds through his family and friends, saying goodnight. There were many hugs and pats on the back as Kevin and Tristan made their way out of the door and into the night. They were silent on the walk home, both feeling that some vague line had been crossed.

*********

When Kevin went out on the porch to get some more wood, Tristan re explored their home, going up the stairs to one of the empty bedrooms. Kevin still felt some anxiety. He felt a strong need to reclaim Tristan and there was only one way he knew how to do that but she didn’t seem ready for reclamation. He was confused and felt insecure. When he came back inside, the house was quiet. Too quiet. Where was she? He knew that she couldn’t have gone anywhere but that didn’t stop an irrational fear from seizing him. He called for her in a low voice and when he got no answer, he let the logs fall onto the hearth and he screamed for her, his voice infected with fear.

“Kevin! What’s wrong?”

His eyes searched for her and found her at the top of the landing, leaning over the rail, looking at him. She wore one of his shirts and he could tell by the way her body moved beneath the flannel that she was naked underneath. Despite his panic, he felt himself growing hard. God...It had been so long......She had, once again, evoked in him a strange combination of emotions - this time panic and passion.. He knew that in order for the panic to subside he had to know that she would still respond to him - that he could make her respond to him. Tristan ran down the stairs, alarmed by the look on his face as he watched her.

“Kevin! What is it? Are you.......”

Before she could ask the question she was on the floor, the wind knocked out of her. She tried to catch her breath as she felt Kevin pull open the buttons of her shirt and then felt his mouth clamp onto her nipple and suck it into his mouth, nibbling at the hardened tip.

Tristan moaned and Kevin left her breast and moved up to her neck, licking her throat and scattering urgent kisses on her face. He pulled off his shirt and rubbed himself against her watching her reactions. His hardness pressed into her and his chest moved over her breasts causing her hardened nipples to brush against his. Kevin kissed her deeply, pinning her head to the floor. He reached down to unfasten his jeans, feeling her dampness as he did.

Then his weight was off of her and she moaned again, running her fingers over her breasts. She felt him lift her up and remove his shirt from her and then carry her to the bed. Kevin laid down beside her and lightly stroked her body from her collarbone to her thighs. She gave herself up to him willingly, letting him take control. Kevin watched her and when she opened her eyes, he sensed her surrender. His hand slid between her thighs and his fingers entered her slowly and gently.

“Will you play for me now, Tristan?” he asked softly in her ear.

His fingers had begun to move slowly inside her. He felt her slippery tightness and longed to be inside of her. Tristan moaned his name and reached down to stroke him. Her touch alone almost sent him over the edge. Pre cum oozed from him and he groaned into her shoulder, trying to hold himself back. When he heard her breath matching the rhythm of his fingers and felt her begin to tighten, he raised himself up to look at her. She came furiously, his fingers still inside her, her folds pressed against the palm of his hand. Her eyes glazed over and she murmured his name while he stroked her hair, bringing her back down to him. When her spasms stopped, he slowly removed his fingers and she removed hers from him, bringing her fingertips to her mouth, tasting him. Her eyes closed for a moment as she savored his sweetness and when they opened again, she gazed at him with such love and intensity that he thought his heart might burst.

She made no protest as he spread her legs and positioned himself between them. His hands found their place on either side of her face and he asked her again seriously, having received no answer the first time, “Will you play for me, Tristan?”

Tristan considered her answer and then answered his question with an honesty that mirrored her affection and love.

“Yes, Kevin. I’ll play for you...I’ll play on you, I’ll play beneath you....”

She was giving him the right answer. Satisfied, he stopped her promises with his mouth on hers and slid inside her slowly and completely, using control that he thought was beyond him. When the end of his shaft made contact with her wall, she gasped and he pressed up inside of her, every nerve ending on him screaming for movement. Finally, he began to move, gently at first and then harder and faster. Tristan’s ankles crossed on his back and her arms left his shoulders, stretching out over the mattress, her hands grabbing at air.

Kevin felt himself drowning in an ocean full of Tristan and with every thrust he sank deeper and deeper, not caring if he ever reached the surface again. He was brought back to reality by her cries of pleasure and it was then that he let himself go and emptied himself into her depths. It took many seconds for him to deplete himself completely and each of those seconds was unbearably intense. His fears and pain had also emptied inside of her leaving behind hope and love. The release they experienced together ended months of pain and heartache. They slept tangled together, their shared devotion expressed throughout the night with tender touches and caresses.

When Tristan awoke the next morning, she found that Kevin had placed the ruby ring on her finger sometime during the night. The slate had been cleared and the curtains torn for them to begin again.

Tristan Trilogy - Story I

"Will You Play for Me?" is a work of fiction.
The characters and events portrayed are fictitious.
Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.

Copyright ©1999
All Rights Reserved
No part of this text may be copied or reprinted
without the author's permission.

~BEST VIEWED ON 800 X 600 SCREEN RESOLUTION~

Fiction by Grace