Kevin’s eyes sought out the tiny figure in the back of the car, all he could see was a curly black head of hair. She raised her head and looked back at him with the same piercing green eyes. “Holy shit!” he whispered.
Nick was looking out the window too, “She’s pretty Kevin.”
Kevin fist slammed into the dashboard as A.J. punched the gas. “Stop beating on this van unless you plan on paying for the damages.”
“What did she say to you Alex?” Kevin turned a pleading face to him.
“That she wanted us to leave, she would be home soon. She asked for an advance warning on your next move. She’s not stupid Kevin she knows you will go after the kid. I told her I couldn’t do it but I really am not sure if I shouldn’t.” A.J. stopped the car well away from the ranch. “You slept with the woman and you had the balls to call her a mistake, you deserve everything you are getting. I can’t even think of word to call you right now.”
“Asshole,” came from the back seat.
“Adulterer,” came from Brian.
“Ego maniac pop star,” came from Howie.
“Oh I know, fuck up,” came from Nick as he laughed and then suddenly became quiet.
A.J. turned to Kevin, seeing his friend listening to everyone but not commenting, “That one will do nicely Nick.”
Kevin placed his head on the cool glass, he had made a mess of things that day so long ago. The fact that they were leaving didn’t see to help matters any. They had a plane to catch. The writing had gone so well they even impressed themselves. He was hoping that the critics, fans, and management were just as impressed.
No sooner had he snuck back to his room the phone rang. Brian called him downstairs to answer it, his wife was on the other end of the line.
Still sifting through the post sexual gratification running through his body he was more than cheery and animated on the phone. Brian and A.J. sat at the table half listening to the telephone conversation and reading the paper. Kevin happy in the morning was reason to question what made him that way.
They were waiting for the arguing to begin, which always happened with these calls. First sweet, then nasty, and then the fight.
Hanging up the phone he triumphantly smiled, “We’re going to try again, she wants me to come back.”
Both of them looked at him questioningly, this was nothing new to them, on again, off again. “Whatever,” A.J. waved him off as he left.
Walking down the hall, he ran into Cass and gave her a loud good morning. Kevin turned and saw the hurt look on her face. She turned her back to him and raced out the front door.
Kevin ran after her, knowing she had heard his exchange with A.J. and Brian. “Cass wait!” Trying to run in bare feet ignoring the rocks cutting into his skin. “Cass dammit, wait!” He chased her into the barn. She was in a stall currying one of the horses.
“Cass?” he approached her.
“Go home Kevin, it was nice, but go home now.” She wouldn’t look at him, she felt foolish for having feelings for this man, a married man.
He waited for her to turn and speak to him. A few minutes went by and she hadn’t said anything more. A hand settled on hers stopping her from moving the brush across the animal. “Cass stop you’re going make that horse bald.”
“Just go, please.” Her tone was not bitter or sorrowful, just flat and uninterested.
Pulling her arm, he turned her to face him. Absently smoothing a lock of hair from her face, “Cass I’m sorry. What I did was wrong, you were a mistake. I should have never let it happen, it was a mistake.”
Stopping in McLeod A.J. waited for Kevin to make a decision on the side of the highway.
“Get us a place to stay Bone, “ Kevin whispered with his eyes fixated on the scenery outside.
“What are you going to do Kev?” Nick asked, seeing that Kevin was tore up about this.
“I’m getting an attorney.”
Brian scoffed, “You have the best attorney already. Why do you need a new one?”
Lulling his head towards A.J., “Because I don’t want my attorney involved until I have concrete proof she’s mine.”
A.J. shook his head back and forth at Kevin, “Can’t you think of another way?”
“No, I want a court ordered paternity test. I want it fast and I want it now. I need a local attorney here to handle it. Someone who already knows the judges around here and who will fight for me.”
“She isn’t going to let you do this,” Brian sat in the back reminding Kevin of what he was going up against.
“Then she should have just told me what I wanted to know,” Kevin’s tone was bitter and upset.
“How nice of you to jump back into her life after a one night stand. Nothing like claiming your mistake Kev.” A.J. was just as indignant as Kevin.
“Shut up, it’s none of your business,” Kevin bellowed.
“Oh yeah, you we’re working, working the sheets and that’s it.”
“Stop, both of you, this is stupid. A.J. if its his kid he has rights. Kevin you owe A.J. for pulling you out of the hell hole you were living in.” Nick was getting annoyed with both of them. The arguing was not getting anything accomplished.
“Are you going to tell her?” Kevin asked wanting to know which side of the fence A.J. was sitting on.
“No,” as he pulled into a small lodge.
“Thanks,” Kevin sighed.
“Whatever Mr. Mistake.” A.J. slammed the door shut and disappeared into the lodge.
“He’s hurting Kevin, don’t get angry, he liked Cass, you told him to back off.” Brian warned his elder cousin.
Howie got out of the truck and turned to Kevin, “I thought I knew you after all these years but to think that you slept with a woman and then called her a mistake is really sad.”
Kevin waited for everyone to get out of the truck and into the lodge. Then he broke down sobbing. Nobody was understanding this the way they were suppose to. Cass wasn’t the mistake, he was. He had slept with another woman while he was still married. It was beautiful and wonderful, something he had never forgotten after all these years. Knowing he had made a huge error in judgment was only made worse by the sad expression on Cass’s face that day. He hadn’t promised her anything but somehow they had promised each other something.
Nick came out to the truck and knocked on the window, “Come on we have some rooms.” Kevin almost fell out of the truck blinded by the tears in his eyes.
Nick wrapped an arm around him for support, “Hey chill we’ll figure it out together, that’s why we came.”
Kevin sniffed, “Thanks Nick.”
“Come on you big baby. The world isn’t going to end. Look how cute that kid is.” Nick grinned trying to bolster Kevin’s feelings.
Kevin smiled slightly, “You guys are good to me.”
“Yeah, yeah, hey I wonder if they have an arcade here?” Nick paused and then smiled.
Kevin shook his head knowing he would be shelling out quarters for the rest of the night if they did.
Entering the room, he grabbed the phone book and paged through it. He was looking for an attorney with a discreet ad. Nothing flashy or glaring, people like that were always desperate. He wanted someone who could do what needed to be done discreetly and definitely not sold to a tabloid for cash.
Finding an ad that suited him he called and left a message. Realizing it was Sunday and he wouldn’t hear anything until tomorrow he crawled into bed for a sleepless night.
Cass watched her little girl bound into the house full of life and happy. Placing both hands on her face she looked at her. “Did you have a good time?”
A nod of yes and huge smile spoke for her.
“Go get ready for bed, I’ll be up in a minute.” Cass smiled hiding her true feelings.
Finishing up the dishes she went upstairs to tuck her in. Seeing she had fallen asleep already. It was a busy day for her. Lightly Cass sat on the edge of the bed. Fingering the little curl by her ear, she spoke softly. “You look so much like your daddy. You have his eyes and his hair. Well the curls come from me... He was here today. He wanted to see you. I said no, I’m sorry Annie, I don’t want you to hurt like I did and still do. He called me a mistake and what we did a mistake. I think if he knew you were a little different, he wouldn’t accept you. I won’t let him hurt you.”
Reaching down she kissed the small cheek and then softly padded out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Curling up in bed, she closed her eyes. Kevin would fight, she knew that, but she was not meek and mild. She would fight back, she would get the best attorney she could afford. Scoffing slightly, she knew she couldn’t afford much.
She had recalled that day so many times since she found out she was pregnant and many times since. Mostly on holidays and Father’s day. Annie always felt left out on that day. Annie never asked and Cass never explained. The words he had spoken then rang through her head. , ‘Cass I’m sorry. What I did was wrong, you were a mistake. I should have never let it happen, it was a mistake.’
Fighting back the tears, she couldn’t say anything to him. She heard the barn door close. Knowing he had left, she began to cry quietly to herself. She stayed in the barn way beyond the time they were scheduled to leave. Pouring her heart out to the creatures was easier than telling someone else.
Last night was wonderful, this morning it was sordid, dirty, and wrong. Laying her head on the horses side, she cried out loud, “I’m a mistake.”
Being discreet Abe kept Gary away from his sister, knowing that he would understand that his sister had been hurt.
A tear slid to the pillow as she drifted off to sleep or at least tried too.
This page © 2001-2006 to Bronwyn
All Rights Reserved
is a work of fiction.
Used with Permission