Entry- I have come to my journal to explore my emotions.
I have so many mixed feelings surging through my body at this
time. First in foremost is the idiocy of my young charge,
Nickolas, and the tremendous ache the boy has given me in
We have been
at sea for a mere two days and the boy has hoodwinked me.
The first night out of port he laid before us the most scrumptious
meal that he has ever prepared.
I should have
known then that the boy was up to something. I have never
seen Nick prepare such a glorious meal. The feast consisted
of many of the foods that I prefer, and not a damn raisin
in sight. The table appeared as if it would buckle from
the weight of the platters. At first, I wanted to chastise
him for squandering so much of our stores on one meal. “This
is excess,” I barked at him.
A smiled graced
his face as his hair hung in his eyes. “It’s fine Captain,
honest. I just thought that this is your first day out of
Jocelyn’s bed and you probably needed to replace your energy.”
frowned at his remark while Alexander, Howard, and Brian,
seemed to think that the remark was highly amusing. They
could be a rather annoying lot when you are in a foul mood.
Yes, I had left Jocelyn’s side, it wasn’t as if I were pining
for it, it was the matter that I would not get a sexual release
for many weeks to come. At this point, it is not a factor
since my body seemed to be depleted and sore.
for my Officers happened earlier in the day as I dragged my
weary bones onto the ship and the distinct noise of snickers
reached my ears. My head snapped up and I glared at each
and every one of them, “One comment and you will all be in
chains.” After speaking the words the laughter increased,
I must be fooling myself, I was in no shape to command this
ship and they had the audacity to remind of it, at least Sir
Alex did. “Not what you used to be.” My hand reached out
and attempted to thump his head, he leaned out of the way
rather easily. “Get us out of port,” had been my final words
as I retired to my cabin until dinner. A long rest, alone,
was what was needed.
Back to the
dinner, the food was delicious, aromatic, and eye appealing,
this was just amazing. I had actually had second thoughts
of letting Nick have this ship and install him as my cook
if he could manage to prepare meals like this more often.
Not one man
at the table had been left hungry or thirsty. The ale and
rum flowed freely; the meat was done exquisitely as well as
the vegetables, breads, and treats. The treats made my mouth
water, lemon tarts, apple cake, and such. Again I transgress
about the food and drink from two evenings ago, last night
was a repeat of the same with food that had been cooked from
the night before. The ale and rum once again flooded our
bodies. I will proceed to document how this entire fiasco
enfolded here in my journal.
During the evening,
the conversations came around to our adventures in port.
Nick seemed mysteriously quiet and withdrawn, which was very
unlike the boy. Brian took a long sip of ale and began to
laugh heartily. “I managed to have some of my coins picked
from my very own pocket. At one time, I thought I had. However,
last night I recounted the money that I had hidden and it
is exactly what it should be. I know my coin had been lifted
but it has mysteriously reappeared.”
My brows knitted
together, that was rather odd. “That could only happen if
someone on this ship had taken it to begin with. I will not
tolerate a thief.”
looked at me and began to chuckle. Howard’s wit seemed to
be riding as high as the tides. “We are thieves.”
“We do not steal
from one another, I will not tolerate it. If I find that
a man on this ship has stolen from my cousin, he will reprimanded
more rum in my glass, my head turned as I studied him. Now
he seemed, well rattled. “What is wrong with you boy?”
The vessel that
he was holding was slammed into the table, “Why do you insist
on calling me a boy? I am not a boy, I am a man.”
I started to
smirk as I chewed my food, there was always one way to get
the lad’s attention, refer to him as a boy, and he would practically
stand on his head to get you to believe otherwise. Wiping
my mouth with my napkin, my gaze switched the full tankard
of rum. “Yes you are a man,” I mocked him in a tone that
let him know that I felt otherwise.
“I mean it Kevin.”
I pulled back
my smirk, there was no sense in taunting the boy any longer,
however the whine that was coming from him sounded very much
like the thirteen year old boy from years ago. Cocking my
head to the side, I stared at him intently, normally it was
enough to calm him but not today. Sitting back in my chair,
I stretched my legs out under the long table. Taking a long
sip of rum, I swallowed the liquor. The rum had been sweetened
and flavored, I couldn’t recognize the tastes. “Did you flavor
eagerly at me.
your endeavors to make improvements Nick, however I have to
wonder where the sudden change came from in four short days.
I realize that I was unavailable…”
My speech had
been interrupted by Sir Howard’s mocking of me, little giggles
like a woman would do were being directed at me. I guess ‘Unavailable’
was not the perfect word to use.
throat after another long sip of rum; I began to feel the
effects of the liquor on my body. “As I was staying, what
has inspired you to feed us so grandly?”
ahhh…” Nick was looking around the room, it was time to get
this over with. They couldn’t very well turn back now. He
bit his bottom lip in anxiety, he wished silently that Brian
hadn’t brought up his pocket being picked, he was afraid that
Brian would recognize Ray dressed as a boy.
at Kevin. Kevin’s demeanor was jovial and seemed relaxed
or the rum had begun to play havoc on his brain. Nick learned
long ago, that a drunk Kevin was easier to manipulate if you
wanted something than if he were sober. Kevin would give
the world if he had enough alcohol in his system.
Nickolas….” Kevin began to frown.
“Well you see;
I’ve had some help.” Nick choked out the words; they weren’t
as smooth as he had wanted to be.
“Help? As in
what kind of help?” Kevin pulled himself forward and leaned
his head into his hands as his bent elbows propped his head
inwardly; yes, the rum was kicking in. “I took on someone
on to help me. An apprentice of sorts.” The words echoed
off the wooden timbers of the galley. The boat listed slightly
causing the silence to be almost deafening.
you say?” Kevin turned to Sir Alex, “Did I give him permission
to bring another on to this ship? To take on another mouth
to feed? Is he at liberty to do such things?”
Sir Alex shook
his head no to each question. Alexander then leveled a look
at Nick. “I don’t recall any of us discussing this. Nickolas,
this is purely an offense.”
and pleaded with Brian and Howie to assist him with his eyes.
a noncommittal look to him.
lost in thought as he stared at the man that he called one
of his best friends. Something was afoot with Nick, what
he wasn’t sure. He was almost positive that this had something
to do with his coin being returned to him out of thin air.
The young girl had taken his money from his pocket, he was
sure of that. The only other plausible explanation was that
Nick ‘borrowed’ the funds from him without permission. Some
how the two must be connected. He must have a reason and
I’m sure in time he will tell me.
“Well you didn’t
like the way I cooked so I found someone to help me. You
enjoyed last night’s meal as well as this evenings.”
mouth to feed!” Kevin slammed his tankard onto the table.
“You didn’t ask me Nick. I know that we are friends, but
out of respect, you should have asked me as your Captain.”
“Maybe he didn’t
ask for fear of your reaction, which is the way you are behaving
at this very minute. We all enjoyed the meals, we have never
had better.” Brian spoke directly to me.
in my chair, I watched Nick for a moment, he was afraid of
my reaction and as well he should be. I have pulled that
boy out of more scrapes than I should have. I have always
protected and harbored him, but what has cut me deeply, is
that he was indeed afraid to ask me. “Where did you find
this helper, as you call him?”
his eyes for a second. “I ran into him down on the docks.”
It really wasn’t a lie, he had run into Ray down at the docks,
it wasn’t their first encounter, and he did save her from
the thugs. Now he was prepared for the worst. He had brought
a person onto Kevin’s ship without his permission. The person
could be a stowaway as far as Kevin was concerned. Nick also
knew that it was too late to turn the ship around, so Ray
had to stay with them. Now he was fretting the introduction.
Ray had a temper much like Kevin’s and she had told Nick that
she didn’t like the Captain.
be hung in chains for his or at least whipped for your disrespect.
You know better than this. A person on the docks. I must
ask you, why?” A.J. proceeded with questions even though
Brian had spoken up.
sat back and listened. As I watched Nick’s face contort into
strange and then funny, then helplessness. As his friend,
he has broke my trust, as his Captain I would listen to any
plausible explanation for his behavior. As his father figure,
I wanted to smack some sense into him. He knows how important
this voyage is to me and what it means. It means that I can
reclaim my land and my name. I can have back the things that
make me whole, almost all things, all things but Isabella.
for a moment, he needed them to understand that Ray was important
to him, but above all this they needed to understand that
Ray was not a woman but a boy. It wasn’t as if Nick was trying
to trick the Captain or the others, but he did not want to
be punished for what he had done either. His lower lip folded
into his mouth as his top teeth clamped down. A thought struck
him; Ray needed help at the docks, that part wasn’t a lie.
All of the men in front of him could be extremely compassionate
to someone in need. That was the key to his dilemma. “My
friend was in trouble, he needed to leave England.” Nick
lowered his head to show how upset he was.
the room, “Nickolas,” Kevin whined.
“He did Kevin.
You always taught me to help when I could. Didn’t you? Didn’t
you? Remember the time you helped out the widow and her three
children and the time you helped the old man thatch his roof
and the time you nursed the dog back to health after it was
hit by the carriage….”
I understand that I have taught you compassion but your compassion
should not over-rule common sense.” I locked my eyes on the
young man that stood before me and waited. Nick knew exactly
what I was waiting for, more information.
head, Nick forced his chin to quiver. When he did, Howie
laughed. “That only worked when you were a child.”
wrinkled up and he began to smile. “It was nothing terrible,
it’s just that he wasn’t being treated right by his family….
He was told that he had to work with his… Uncle in the kitchen
of the…. King, yes the King. He worked day and night and
they wouldn’t pay him so he Um…. Um… turned to stealing.”
A soft groan
came from Brian, Nick closed his eyes, if Brian had figured
it out, he was in deeper trouble than he had ever planned
on being with Kevin. A pleading look was sent Brian’s way,
Brian wouldn’t look at him.
“Go get your
new friend, I want to meet him,” Kevin spoke in an ice-cold
“But he’s sleeping…He
worked very hard today,” Nick gulped.
“THAT’S AN ORDER!”
and Alex, as well as myself watched the tall blonde man bolt
from the room. I turned towards my friends and shipmates.
“I will get to the bottom of this, there is more to this than
meets the eye.”